318 Comments
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Becky Gibson's avatar

Jeff, I have to thank you for all the ways you are able to make me laugh out loud with your commentary on these idiot dipshits. I’m sitting here chuckling as I write this. I truly appreciate all the time you take to serve these people up for the rest of us to enjoy! You’re one in a million. Please never stop!

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Lynn Stolp's avatar

My sentiments exactly, Becky. Thank you Jeff!!

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Marty's avatar

Agree!! Just got through reading and laughing out loud! Priceless!

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Linda Weide's avatar

At some points I was choking from laughter. Wut!

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

What a glorious read to start a Saturday morning! It helps to ease the annoyance, and disgust from the special prosecutor and his editorializing…

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Susan Niemann's avatar

The Special Prosecutor story yesterday really turned my stomach. I was so pissed off... where is Merrick Garland? He needs to go. 🙄

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steve robertshaw's avatar

I really hope Biden's team is working on that, so IF Biden wins in Nov. they'll have somebody all set up who actually UNDERSTANDS politics in America in 2024. Joe, you did your part compensating Garland with the AG appointment as compensation for being cheated out of his Supreme Court nomination in 2016. Now, let's get down to real, effective work in the DOJ if you get a second term.

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SeekingReason's avatar

He should have removed Garland 2 years ago but today works for me. Garland needs to be investigated. The seditionists couldn’t have it any better with him n charge. Then to allow the personal political jab at Biden, including a political stunt at the expense of his son’s memory was enough fr me to wish someone could give a bunch of these MAGA helpers an up close view of brass knuckles.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

And Louisville Sluggers.

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

I suspect Garland is a Federalist Society plant, designed to slow walk the prosecution of Trump and his enablers. Neither Ginny Thomas nor any member of Congress has been charged. At what point does Garland begin to interfere with Jack Smith? Garland needs to be investigated, and he needs to resign or be fired before he can do any more damage.

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Peggy Hendrickson's avatar

Merrick Garland is a disgrace and a coward.

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meryl selig's avatar

Susan: unloading Mr Peepers Garland is not the answer. It is now past. What happens now? How does this get rebutted… and I dont mean Joe’s barely audible denials. He is not helping his case. At minimum: social and old media need to blast out the last few derangements from DD’s facial pie hole. Do we want a geriatric or a psychopath….. that is what the binary is. Liberty and rule of law and some semblance of democracy or a facistic dictatorship where Steve Bannon succeeds the Forever Christ Leader?

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RV maxima's avatar

Funny how Barr had a "special" prosecutor and when Mueller turned in his report Barr wrote a defamatory 4p. book report, saying nah nothing to see here, don't bother.

But I guess Garland slept in that day.

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TJTarheel's avatar

Right

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RV maxima's avatar

And if you can't get to the column until later, it heats up beautifully and is just a good for dinner or even late night snack! That Jeff guy, he stays fresh until the next day! Go figure.

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Mary Brock's avatar

Elvis sightings! Hilarious. Canadian here: I live in fear of your next election.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

We live in fear, too. :(

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Feb 10, 2024
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Susan Niemann's avatar

You bet! Volunteer! Donate!💙✌️

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Janine's avatar

Iam doing both!!!

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Sköll's avatar

Frodo: I wish none of this had happened.

Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times; but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us

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RV maxima's avatar

I do love that from the 1st movie and very moving after 2001 attack. The next example must be, the calling is coming from inside the house.

Just an idea

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SeekingReason's avatar

Mary, it’s very hard to believe that there are more sane people here than not. Last round 8 million more of us voted for Biden. But with a right wing owned media and court system, we have to try to focus on this: vote for Biden or enter the horrors of full Fascism.

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TJTarheel's avatar

We have to overwhelmingly win the next election so that there will be no doubt even on MAGGA’s part, or give them no ammunition for any claims to argue.

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Lisa's avatar

My Canadian friends refer to themselves as the “tenants in the apartment above the crack den”, and I’m so sorry for all of us! Stay warm up north!🫶🏼

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Anne E Sweeney's avatar

deep.....very very deep...scary deep

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Oh, we all do.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

Get ready for the political refugees if it goes the wrong way here!

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RV maxima's avatar

No kidding! International Falls

Only a few hours away. I could always claim a long fishing vacation.

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TJTarheel's avatar

Not as much as we do

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

I'm from Nova Scotia. Been in the Bay Area since 1977. I think we'll be OK, but if not, I can move to British Columbia. My childhood friend settled there. Where do you live?

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Lamorindalinda's avatar

Lucky you. I’m still trying to figure out a refuge.

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Mary Brock's avatar

Come to Toronto. There are 6 million of us.

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

I spent three months in Toronto in 2018. Absolutely fantastic city, but, those winters!

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Mary Brock's avatar

It was 14 degrees here yesterday (nearly 60 degrees for our American friends here). No snow.

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TJTarheel's avatar

Everyone that visits Canada loves it

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Cathy Carrozza's avatar

I hope you still feel this way after the election!! Have a great weekend!!

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Lamorindalinda's avatar

I’ve heard it’s beautiful! I don’t know if I could take the cold weather. I’m a California girl! But if weighed against 4 more years of Trump I could make the sacrifice! Will Canada take us?

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

Absolutely. We only have around 38 million people, 2nd largest country in the world and nothing but natural resources. I can adopt you! Along with 500 of my closest friends...

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

I inquired recently about moving to Canada, and was told that I'm probably too old (74) and too poor (on Social Security) to be accepted. Have no choice but to stay and try to fight. Now I know how non-Nazi Germans felt in 1933, especially those who were unable to leave. Damn, I'm terrified.

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Nancy Lent Lanoue's avatar

My Grandpa was born in Nova Scotia. Sure has crossed my mind to go back “home” His forebears were Loyalists. I’ve thought about that a lot too.

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Lamorindalinda's avatar

Cool! We’ll be a nation of Lindas!!

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

How many people can you adopt, Linda? I am thinking of myself, you know. :)

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Will they allow a semi retired copywriter to live in Toronto? I spent 10 days there once and loved it!

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

Absolutely. My cousins can adopt you. Toronto is really amazing!

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Mary Brock's avatar

Nova Scotia so beautiful. You have lots of snow? I live in Toronto. I worry if Trump gets in so will Poilievre, then so will Marina Le Pen who Trump will love and the cascading effect of right winged fucknuts will overtake the world. *shiver*

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

We're in this together, as Joyce Vance says. Do you follow her? She's extraordinary and keeps chickens! She lives in Alabama.

Nova Scotia is not as cold as Toronto, but the winters are long. The Bay Area climate is perfect!

I'm staying positive re the US.

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Mary Brock's avatar

Yes I follow her too.

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Cathy Carrozza's avatar

Will Canada have to build a wall to keep fleeing US citizens who believe in democracy out?? I love Canada!!!

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Mary Brock's avatar

I have a number of friends who left the U.S. during the Vietnam war. And they are great!

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

They don't have time. They're too busy shoveling snow...and we can always use more people to help. Besides, we love people hanging out on our porches drinking beer and playing music. We even do that in the winter...

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Lola's avatar

Moved to Baja 4 years ago. Fearful of what I saw coming in the US .

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Old Man's avatar

Adopt me! I’m not quite 80 years old and could learn to speak Canadian.

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

Marry me! You are too old to adopt...I wouldn't get the Canadian benefits! To speak Canadian, just enunciate and watch your grammar! Must have excellent sense of humor, like Tiedrich followers.

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Old Man's avatar

Do I have to watch my language? [ I do have an excellent sense of humor, but 4 letter words are my favorites].

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Mary Brock's avatar

Canadians are hilarious. We appreciate a sense of humour.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Can confirm, I married one.

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

Well, Canadians are a bit more reserved until you don't help them shovel out their driveways.

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Mary, same here and I live very close to the US border.

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Cassandra Here's avatar

We’ll be knocking on your door if LDFF is elected.

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TJTarheel's avatar

Not as much as we do.

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meryl selig's avatar

As my Alberta pals say: when the US sneeEs Canada catches a cold

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Feb 10, 2024
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Susan Niemann's avatar

From your lips to gods ears! 🤞🤞

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Lisa's avatar

Or Ronald McDonalds’s ears; either will work.🤷🏻‍♀️

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Charlie Austin's avatar

😸😸

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Anybody! 😂😂

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Charlie Austin's avatar

👍👍

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Janine's avatar

But seriously what if he wins?? Is there a game plan for real I just feel like we are all praying he doesn't win ....but if he does oh my God it's like sick just like a resurrection of Hitler does anyone have any ideas brainstorms?

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RV maxima's avatar

Well, about blind but maybe if I start practicing now at the rifle range I can compensate and could be a good shot by then. I would take one for the team as a patriotic sacrifice.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Shotguns loaded with rocksalt, are one solution.

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Feb 10, 2024
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Old Man's avatar

Exactly.

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TJTarheel's avatar

I can’t believe it hasn’t. Either that or if the rumors true about his amphetamine use that would destroy his heart. I feel like he’s living on borrowed time.

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Dana's avatar

Agree with that. As someone else posted, the no longer white/yellowing eyeballs are a clear sign of either liver failure or disease. And the years of fried foods probably hasn’t left the arteries too clean.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

If he wins, they’ll rename it Trumpsylvania. I guess. What is that orange turd with ears foomfetting about? Crazy old bastard, take the sacred name of Pennsylvania out of your filthy mouth. If there was a god, Mojo Nixon would be alive and you’d be riding a red-hot spiked Tilt-A-Whirl in hell, you weird old revenant of the gross 1980s.

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Eileen's avatar

Trump knows that if he wins Pennsylvania, he wins the Electoral College. Trump is using his "Starbucks won't say Christmas" scare tactics to enrage his audience in PA with "they" are going to somehow take over PA, starting with changing its name. IOW, Trump is attempting to use the you'll lose your country if you don't fight like hell to keep it. It's all part of the same imaginary war for the "Real Americans" - Trump's MAGA faithful. So at this "double your dupe" rally, this speech was given to the NRA gathering in PA. The NRA is bankrupt because they followed Wayne LaPierre who took luxury vacations on the NRA membership's dime. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFCr_qfAzlo And they give all their money to Trump who pockets it to fight his legal battles, because he's a con artist like Wayne. Therefore, PA MAGA shouldn't worry about losing a name; they should worry about losing their eyesight because they're being robbed blind.

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Charlotte Thompson's avatar

I wish fugly orange would stay the fuck out of PA. Not all of us here are crazy.

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TJTarheel's avatar

He’s going to change the name! Of a state!

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Charlotte Thompson's avatar

Shows just how fucked up he really is.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

Excellent comment!

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SPW's avatar

You turn a mean phrase too.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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TJTarheel's avatar

Good point. I can’t see how Pennsylvanians would be pleasured about changing the name of their state so Trumps name change declaration might back fire on him. I surely would take offense if he suggested to change the name of my home state, The Old North State, as they used to call North Carolina. This country is a nation of States and regardless of our loyalty to country we hold our states sacred, everyone’s proud of their home state regardless. Not that he in any way could but let’s hope his speaking about changing the name of one of the original 13 colonies and was established by William Penn, the city of Philadelphia being the first capital, and a state with so much history, so vital to the revolution, Trump just screwed himself royally because he attacked the one thing most people have pride in and that’s their state. I think he lost rather than gained any votes there even with the hard right.

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Follow The Money - cui bono's avatar

Pennsylvanian here. I have a tastefully framed poster of Penn's Treaty with the Indians on my living room wall (original in PA State Museum). I would be fighting mad if someone tried to change the state name.

I can't take another 4 to XX years of waking up every morning to see if he bombed someone yet. Please let sanity prevail.

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TJTarheel's avatar

I can’t imagine it either. It was hard living through 8 years of the Bush administration and Iraq invasion, the lost lives and debt to benefit a few, it still makes me angry that so many Americans were fooled into believing the rhetoric. I was elated when those years were over and we had President Obama, a real statesman, one I could trust to make the right decisions and I thought the “dumb it down” years were behind us and then came Donald Trump piling it on heavier and dumbing it down along with violence and destruction, believing himself to be king or dictator and making America a laughing stock to the rest of the world.

Going so far in his mad rants to even suggest changing the name of any state but Pennsylvania especially. I remember our visit there to Hershey, Amish country and several trips to Gettysburg civil war park for my son. We even went at night. I’m partial to Pennsylvania with its rich history and beautiful country side. Trump is a moron saying that even to his maga audience and I hope it backfires.

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P. J. Schuster's avatar

Trump’s not saying HE would change the name….. he’s saying THEY would change it if THEY win. So he’s scaring the magas that Biden & the evil Democrats will do that if they win.

Trump is so ignorant

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Your comment is SUBLIME 😋

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Janine's avatar

Sublime....LOVE IT

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

That phrase "riding a red-hot spiked Tilt-A-Whirl in hell," is sheer, evocative, poetry!

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DonP's avatar

As I have said elsewhere re: Joe Biden's bad memory: I'd rather have a President who says, "I can't remember that." than a President who says, "I take the fifth on that".

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SPW's avatar

Don’t you know it!

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SeekingReason's avatar

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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TJTarheel's avatar

Me too

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JOEL's avatar

Biden is old.

Trump is old…….AND Trump is a liar, a fraud, a con, a scumbag, a racist, a fascist, a traitor, a sex abuser, a defamer, a coward, an arrogant imbecile, Putin’s puppet, and an all-around piece-of-shit.

Not a hard choice 😂🤣😂

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meryl selig's avatar

Why do millions of Americans not see this?

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PTW's avatar

Trump promises to punish and get revenge the people they hate. That's all there is to it. They need to feel superior to "those other people" to make them feel better about their own unhappy lives and poor decisions. And Trump gives them that.

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P. J. Schuster's avatar

Bingo!! That’s all it is, well plus some racism thrown in

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JOEL's avatar

Ignorance is bliss.

And, stupidity.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

Nope.

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Janine's avatar

HALLELUJAH!!! Truth BE TOLD!!!!!!!!

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Toasted Testicle Aficionado. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Lisa's avatar

That is the one that sent me over the edge this fine morning!lol

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Susan Niemann's avatar

"frozen fish stick heir and toasted testicle aficianado" 🤣 And Mike Lindell selling bottle brushes was NOT on my list. Serious question, people. After yesterday's devastation, you think we can get above it and drive MAGA out in November? Because Elvis can't be President. 😂 Can America understand what's at stake? Jeff, you are simply outstanding and you always bring me hope. ✌️💙

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meryl selig's avatar

This is brilliant insanity and narcissism l, comparing himself to Elvis. First it was Jesus, so he is proof of the Second Coming. (HOW DO they reconcile his flouting of the 10 Commandments and the Golden Rule?)

Now he is a distant relative/avatar/reappearance of Elvis the King. Makes perfect sense. He needs another persona to hijack and inhabit

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Shalone's avatar

How insulting to Elvis! Elvis was a talented and handsome man, trump is neither.

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RV maxima's avatar

Well, we have 8 months... worse if this was the October surprise.

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P. J. Schuster's avatar

You/we can absolutely count on every woman who has any self respect to vote blue. The crazy Rs are trying to pass ever more really restrictive laws against women.

If you don’t already do so, please read & support Jessica Valenti’s Substack

“Abortion Every Day” & she is on TikTok as auntiekilljoy She keeps us up to date on all the shenanigans the forced-birth idiots are trying to sneak by under the radar; just like they did the takeover of the judiciary & AG offices.

Also I love Jeff’s spouse’s Substack

Hersay, it’s great

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Morgan's avatar

The squirrels in that OrangeDoucheFuck’s head need to keep rattling around in there and start chomping on the remaining brain cells. I’ve never in decades would have believed that a fuckstain like Drumpf would ever win the Presidency.. but hot damn Rethuglicans picked their new Jesus. I honestly don’t know how we get rid of such an F- ing loser in our government. And what is more sickening is how many crazyassed people love that incoherentbabblingfatfuckrejectgriftingassmunch. We are so F’d of he gets another shot in the WH.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

The adjective streams get better and better.

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Morgan's avatar

There’s a lot of dipshittery to work with Charlie.🙄

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Charlie Austin's avatar

Indeed!😄😄

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bluesyfish's avatar

Lately, my favorite meme is the one that says "Trump poos in Bible, wipes with American flag. Five reasons this is bad news for Biden in 2024."

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Charlie Austin's avatar

😂😂

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Orange-Anus doing that flag molesting thing, was appalling, like when someone's poorly-trained dog humps a guests leg! Maybe they should get him neutered.

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TJTarheel's avatar

Haven’t seen it but sounds fitting for him

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P. J. Schuster's avatar

Omg 🤣🤣 haven’t seen that one yet

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Deanna Belli's avatar

I would love it if someone could run Trump’s stuff with a chipmunk voice. If this is an American version of a manly-man that women want and men want to be, then the brainwashers are really good at their jobs … though it helps if your targets are mindless to begin with.

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RV maxima's avatar

I think that is junior's job. After a few lines.

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Feb 10, 2024
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Morgan's avatar

Helium tanks are filled at my house..my young son wanted balloons last bday party and I just happen to have a very large tank still filled with helium.. hehehe anyone want a hit 🤣😂🤣I sound like Alvin from the Chipmunks 🐿️… Trump sucks donkey balls…LMFAO.. fuck that’s fun

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Patricia Cook's avatar

Oh my God no he doesnt Elvis at his poor worst looked better than that old wrinkled bastard . He also wasnt a selfish person like that orange Turd . Uggggg

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NEAL O'CONNOR's avatar

I would feel much more in tune with the Universe if there actually were examples of divine justice and karma. If I knew in advance that the morbidly obese former president- the heaviest since Taft!- would be held accountable, I could sleep easier. My faith in mankind has been sorely tested by the deplorable cheerleaders for this fraction of a man!

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Jeff, you hit it out of the park with “toasted testicles”, it’s just the fact that while I read coffee came shooting out my nose…. Dang man, have you no mercy? Hope u and fellow travelers have a great weekend👍

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SPW's avatar

I’ve learned to read JT’s Substack after meals or beverages. It’s just cleaner that way.

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Margaret's avatar

You should know better than to drink coffee while reading the great JT!

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

It's nice to see that Saturday is just another sterling day of writing for Jeff! Happy Lunar New Year, everyone, from California. Year of the Wood Dragon 🐉 😎

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Ellis Weiner's avatar

The "blame it on me," the "I look like Elvis"--they're trivial, just preening for his ego. But "they're going to re-name Pennsylvania"--THAT'S FUCKING INSANE. If the Trump guy on SNL said that, we'd laugh because it's arbitrary and absurd. It would be a satire of fear-mongering. THAT's the clip Dems should use in an ad.

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TY111's avatar

Yes. And Biden's team should hire Jeff ASAP.

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Rhoda Ozen's avatar

Maybe TFG doesn’t realize that the proper name of PA is The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. So if he hears the official name used he’ll say, “See I told you they’d change the name of Pennsylvania!”

Geez Louise could a few ex-pats jump in here and tell us which country we can move to?

I’m retired so I can only live in Canada legally for 6 months.

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Lisa's avatar

You know that the J in DJT stands for “jenius” right?lol

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Rhoda Ozen's avatar

Love it! 🤣🤣

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