this week in stupid: February 10 edition

Mike Lindell reuses it, Little Donny confuses it, and so much more ...

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.

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sunday: elderly man with poor memory is also delusional as fuck

did you know that criming doughball Donald John Diaperload truly believes he resembles Elvis Presley? seriously, he’s been yammering about it since at least 2018.

on Sunday, the narcissistic fuck took to his crappy app to post this fever dream:

“for so many years people have been saying that Elvis and I look alike. now this pic has been going all over the place. what do you think?”

that was all the internet needed to do what it does best.

and my own personal favorite:

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monday: welcome to MyGarage

hey look, it’s Mike Lindell. watcha doing, Mike?
I’m on TV!
I know, but what the fuck? are you having a garage sale?
no, I’m selling works of fine art.
get the fuck out. that’s tasteless crap.
bro, check out Jesus with the lion. that’s classic stuff.
it’s garbage.
ok, you don’t like art? how about some socks, or a bottle brush?
Mike, who’s going to buy this junk?
hey, my target audience can’t tell the difference between a bag of roughly-chopped foam and a pillow.
fair point, Mike.

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tuesday: elderly man with poor memory is also stupid as fuck

a fun thing about campaigning against a motormouth moron with no filters is that he never stops writing your ads for you. on Tuesday, Trump had this to say about having bullied the GOP into scuttling bipartisan border legislation:

“a lot of the senators are trying to say, respectfully, they’re blaming it on me. that’s ok, please blame it on me. please.”

after the speech, Biden’s comms people, all of them big strong men with tears streaming down their cheeks, came up to Donny and were all sir! sir! thank you for making our jobs so much easier. is there anything else you’d like to confess to, you stupid dumb-ass?

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wednesday: goddammit

some days, the idiot is me.

I had a great Ben Shapiro tweet lined up for Wednesday, where he whines about having to watch Tracy Chapman sing her own song on the Grammys. ha ha, I thought, what a racist dimwit! watch me mock the shit out of this guy.

except for the part where I went back this morning to screenshot it, and …

fuuuuck.

now excuse me, there’s this Nigerian prince in my email who needs my bank account and routing numbers. I’ll be right back.

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thursday: who wants to tell him

frozen fish stick heir and toasted testicle aficionado Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson was in Russia this week, to take in the sights and also to plant a big sloppy kiss on Vlad Putin’s despot ass.

local media caught up with Tuckums, and he had this to say:

“I really do like it. I’m not just saying it. why do I feel guilty like I’m betraying my country?”

one guess, traitor-boy.

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friday: elderly man with poor memory is also demented as fuck

Little Donny Shitbag continues to deteriorate before our very eyes.

Trump gave another completely incoherent speech on Friday, and it was wall-to-wall batshit fucknuttery.

but this was the crowning monent of peak what-the-fuck:

“we have to— we have to win in November, or we’re not going to have Pennsylvania. they’ll change the name. they’re gonna change the name of Pennsylvania.”

it was at that point that the squirrels inside Donny’s head started arguing with each other.

what? what did he say? change the name of what? did you tell him to say that? I didn’t tell him to say that.

but yes please, media, tell us again how it’s Joe Biden who’s too befuddled to be president.

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saturday: ?

hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.

have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.