192 Comments
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Susan Niemann's avatar

"blessed are the dipshits, for they will crap their dumbfuckery all over social media."

HA! Thats the damned truth.

And I love it when the felon makes some dumb ass announcement like the "Tiny Cars" and then says: ENJOY! WHAT???

The whole FIFA award bullshit is beyond embarrassing-he's off his rocker and everybody knows it. How much longer must we put up with all this shit??? There are no Big Strong Republicans (even with tears in their eyes) who will stand up and save the country???

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

By Tiny Cars he must be thinking of his own presidential golf carts that haul his ass right up to each hole on the green.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Maybe, just maybe, those tiny cars as teensy enough to be shoved UP his fat ass!

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

He’s thinking of the infinitesimal length dicks of every male member of his family - both living and deceased ( aka his Nazi dad Fred and his brother who drank himself to death.) spawns of Satan envisioned in the Book of Revelation. 👿 👿 😈

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Of all the infuriating things that happened this week, I think the FIFA Peace Award might be the one that put me over the edge.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Next week he’ll get one from the WWE and Evelyn Harper who is dismantling the Department of Education.

MAGA must have a covert mining operation to find all of these fucking demented knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing cretins under large rocks.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Honestly-what a shit show.

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KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

We MUST laugh or we will die of an aneurysm. What else can we do here?

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

To date, none!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Thomas Massie? Rand Paul?

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Rand Paul is a surprise; Massie is the closest to it

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Agree.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Rand Paul is dying of terminal FAFO. FH — Fuck Him

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh hell yes he is. 👏👏👏

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Stephen Schiff's avatar

Readers should be aware that the FIFA leadership is a hotbed of corruption, so it is fitting that the infant in charge should award a pseudo prize another corrupt infant.

I mean, like how the fuck is the US, with its fourth rate men's squad, worthy of hosting the tournament? Same way that Qatar got it in 2022: payola.

Hats off to the women for building the sport without the sleeeeze.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Fucking Incels Fucking America - one and the same with these demonic pimply Young Republicans

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Now Jeff is turning the Beatitudes into the Fuglytudes

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Cyndi's avatar

I'd say that MAGA's doing that. Jeff's just reporting on it.

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Kevin Rice's avatar

From Larry Wilmore's I'd Rather We Got the Casinos, specifically the "In Search of Black Jesus" chapter where he provides clues that he says mean Jesus was black:

"CLUE #8: He fed five thousand with two loaves and five fish. There is only one way to do this: make gumbo. I’ve seen brothas who started with less feed more than five thousand."

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Charles Austin's avatar

None! Zero! Nada!

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

There's a particular stench that rises from documents written by fascists who've convinced themselves they're statesmen. It's the smell of old leather briefcases mixing with fresh bullshit, the acrid tang of policy papers that treat brown and Black bodies as either resources to extract or threats to contain. The 2025 National Security Strategy—quietly dropped by the Donny Caligulump administration late Thursday night like a turd in a punchbowl—reeks of exactly this combination: expensive cologne spritzed over centuries-old colonial rot.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/u-s-national-security-strategy-ai-slop-written-shitneocon-racism-assdreck

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Nelsonsdad's avatar

I read Heather Cox Richardson's assessment of this mess and wanted to regurgitate. We're heading down a really dark road.

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T L Mills's avatar

yep, me too. I wanted to go kick something--or somebody (Trump, specifically)--but instead I'm going to go to Graham Platner's town hall in tiny Oxford, Maine and get a breath of enthusiasm and "let's roll up the sleeves and get to work" fresh air.

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Paula Dean's avatar

When I reposted HCR today I added the caption: I feel sick.

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I did too. It sucked to have to read it.

I’ve a follow-up tomorrow of more analysis.

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Leslie Black's avatar

I read it during breakfast. A really horrible way to start the day, even though we sort of knew that’s what they wanted to do.

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Jodi Richard's avatar

Did the same, I’ve been sick with some flu like thing so this morning was the first morning I had an appetite and then I read Heather’s and Wendy’s columns and that appetite went “fuckity bye”.

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Mary Hall's avatar

Hubs and I have had a horrible fking flu for a week now (we are fully vaxxed and tested negative for Covid). Apparently, scientists used the wrong flu strain when creating this year's vaccine. Gawdfkingdamnit! I have had to turn down three awesome invites because of this sh!t. FUCK!!!

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Flo Plazo's avatar

I listened to most of it but had to stop.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Let us add up all thee years poor rejected prez shall suffer in our sacrosanct prison system when his whole shitty administration goes down for thy sacred voteth shall rain down as a pristine fresh snowflake of rejection upon his evil head. Jesus sayeth A-FUCKING-MEN. Get the full recitation of dopey stuffing fish loaves down his anus mouth for 499USD up front arriving to you in a faux leather bound box in 2027 pronto.

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Declan's avatar

Mark Carneys Canada has already told the regime to 'go f*** themselves" and have had for months partnered with Europe on trade & defense issues. The NSS is already outdated. 😂

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Wendymae's avatar

I've been waiting for the official alignment with Russia since 2016 but it still is shocking, not least of all for essentially declaring war on Canada. And declaring their intention to back fascists trying to take over liberal democracies. Dark times indeed.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

There are people (and I use the term loosely) in the regime, being paid with our hard-earned tax dollars to emit this dreck...

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Monnina's avatar

In the UK of the 1970s similar corrupt government documents smelt not of leather briefcases but nicotine stained walls and rusting tea urns. Post 1979/80 those buildings were torn down, many central locations sold off for development at vast profits and replaced with new steel and cement boxes wherein those who smoked and often turned up to work in their carpet slippers were replaced with those carrying high end leather briefcases. Now here we all are: ‘eyeless in Gaza and amongst our foes’.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Invented as, and smelling like, the Pentagon Papers invented by that Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge (FORD)-building loser and liar Robert McNamara, predecessor of dunk tank fucking drunk abuser Pete Kegstand. All of these deplorable no-conscience apparatchik Republican fucks come from the same Marianas Trench of demon shit.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

May I add something more egregious and heinous to our nausea? Look at Amnesty International’s report about the Alligator Detention Center in Florida. Yes, it still exists, damnit! https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/politics/2025/12/04/amnesty-international-report-alleges-torture-at-alligator-alcatraz/87604273007/#

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Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

Stopping by Mar-A-Lago on a Scuzzy Evening

With apologies to Robert Frost

Whose dump this is I do not know

The designer prob’ly did some blow.

The owner will not see me here

To watch him eat a lot of crow.

His racist tirades sure do suck

As his dementia runs amok

We'll surely need a lot of luck

To get rid of this crazy fuck.

His porn star girlfriend

Said he lied

As his 'shroom pecker died inside

His wife the im'grant must abide

His bloviated fake tan hide.

West Palm Beach is dark and deep

And I have promises to keep

So screw this guy and his dumb face

So screw this guy and his dumb face.

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Stephen Schiff's avatar

Most excellent

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Linda Silfven's avatar

That WAS my favorite poem! But I must say you did yourself proud.

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Jane's avatar

👏👏👏

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Cindy Watter's avatar

So glad you curate this stuff. I hadn’t heard that bit about Dear Leader’s birthday. Oh joy, another reason not to leave the house. On another subject, a man purporting to be you is trying to be my friend. First, I have enough friends. Second, I don’t think it’s you. He doesn’t use profanity.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

every day, two or three new fake Jeff Tiedrichs show up on substack. I report them as I find them, and substack removes them pretty quickly. but remember: if it doesn't have the purple check, it isn't really me

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Jeff I’ve only had two fake Wendy’s ever. I’m just not that cool.

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Cindy Watter's avatar

I am sure I would get more friend requests if I put up my photo. ;)The grifters would think “Old! She must be lonely!” If only!

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Sadly you are probably right

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Cheri Collins's avatar

Yeah, I’m old, and had the same guy catfish me twice, pretending to be different people. I played him along for a while, and then busted him. Sigh.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

MAGATS get preyed upon all the time because they're ripe to be duped. An acquaintance in her 60's was DM'd by Elon Musk's "mother" who wrote that she would like her son to marry her, she was so sweet and lovely. The woman got excited and asked if he would pay for her new dental implants. I am serious.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

The Space Nazi’s abusive Nazi dad probably knocked her teeth out in the first place.

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Kay-El's avatar

Yep, got a follow too. Immediate block.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

you can report them, too

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

I have Tim Snyder, you, Ben Meiselas, and more following me. I knew damn well this wasn’t a dream come true.

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Cindy Watter's avatar

I didn’t think he was you, but thanks for the purple check intel.

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

I also received the “Jeff” friend request, which I quickly put into the trash can. It made the round about 12-15 months ago and it’s back again. DISREGARD.

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Same thing happened to me. It's not him.

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

I’ve got two Jeff’s following me. Haha

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Stephen Brady's avatar

I'v got about a half dozen Paul Krugman's following me. It is my only claim to fame!

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

But do you have a Dan Rather following you?! 😂

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Me too!

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Jena-Auerstedt's avatar

Laughed long and hard about the Joe-Rogan-and-guys-with-older-brothers post. As another person who came of age in the 1970s . . . spot on!

Thanks, Jeff!

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Holly Saunders's avatar

Me too! Rang so true (but long forgotten)!

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Darrell Smith's avatar

Trump's retribution is to make everyone's life as miserable as his has been. It doesn't matter what we have done in the past. We all have to pay because he is such a broken piece of shit.

It will be over soon and if our planet is not destroyed, we can rebuild American society into something that serves the poor, and the immigrants, and the old, and the workers, and all the other decent people.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

"Trump's retribution is to make everyone's life as miserable as his has been."

I think that's absolutely true

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CL Tee's avatar

And as stupid as he is, he knows he doesn't have the full four years to inflict all the pain, damage, and suffereing he wants, so he's on a fast track to get it all done in 18 months. I hate him.

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Cyndi's avatar

I don't think that he has that much longer.

His face is doing the right side droop. His stance when upright and his gait when walking are classically wide and unstable. He hasn't been golfing since early September.

And, come on, no one has a routine or proactive MRI -- nobody!

Six months, tops.

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Susan Burgess's avatar

Exactly. And he’ll do his level best to take all his enemies with him when he goes. Which is nearly everybody. The codes, the codes.

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Mary Hall's avatar

THE FILES! THE FILES!

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Mike Hammer's avatar

With Joe Rogan it’s inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I spent many years of my life smoking shitloads of pot and saying all kinds of stupid shit, but fortunately none of it happened in front of a camera

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Mingo's avatar

Me too Jeff. It's amazing I graduated from HS and college. Thanks for the encouraging words from the white christian misogynist Joel Webbon, telling us gals to lose 20-30 pounds. We know their type. No matter how bald, fat, ugly or toothless they themselves are, they always think women find them irresistible. As you say, they can fuck all the way off.

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Cheri Collins's avatar

😂

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Mary Hall's avatar

I am lucky AF that Facebook, et. al. didn't exist in the 1970s.

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Jane's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Jane's avatar

😂😂😂

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Kay-El's avatar

Jimmy Kimmel said Trump’s approval ratings are so bad, gas station bathrooms have better reviews on Yelp. That seems legit.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Kay, oooo that be low.

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Merrill's avatar

Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) coined, I think, by Kellyanne Conway during Trump 1 is a real 1984ish tactic used by fascists to demoralize and exhaust their opponents. "Flood the zone" with extreme comments, policies and actions, the consequences for which have a long path to future accountability.

As an ALPHA leader you excite your supporters and depress your opponents by making them "see" the darkness of your world view.

We must not become discouraged or depressed by TDS.

We must not give up hope for bringing back Freedom, Equality and Humanity, the ideals on which America was conceived and founded.

Reread the Declaration of Independence, a doctrine still worth fighting for.

RESIST! ORGANIZE! TAKE AMERICA BACK!

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Kay-El's avatar
2hEdited

As I’ve stated eleventy zillion times to various kooks and crackpots TDS belongs to the idiots who think Trump is fit for office.

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Cheryl Seybert's avatar

I agree with you wholeheartedly!!!

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Noel's avatar

It's gaslighting on a national level. We must constantly work to maintain our clear sight.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Great post thank you.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Irony is lost on KKKrazy Eyes KKKash.

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Paul  Kayen's avatar

Another absolutely hysterical post. 🥂.

Couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve penned.

Cmon blood clot and amyloid proteins on overdrive ! Get the job done already . Deliver us from …..dumb fuckery.

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Tess's avatar

A completely STUPID week Jeff! It fucking never ends. Thanks for adding humor to it-it’s pretty much all we can do right now it seems. But—-I will continue to protest!!!

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Jeff, sometime soon, we need a new word for “stupid” as all of this dumbfuckery exceeds the week’s levels.

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Paula Dean's avatar

I use 'stoopid', which I stole from the hysterical cartoon 'Invader Zim' - created by Jhonan Vasquez. He likes to decorate his scenes with trash on the ground, including cans labeled 'poop cola' and 'stoopid snacks'.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

E.B. White’s *ELEMENTS OF STYLE* now considers “MAGA DUMBFUCKS” as REDUNDANT.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

If you haven’t seen it, there’s a post on social media of Gavin receiving the inaugural Kohl’s Peace Prize (which comes with $50 in Kohl’s cash). I fucking love Gavin! 😂😂😂

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Sue Munda's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Cheri Collins's avatar

😂

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Jane's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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CA Productions/Carol Ann's avatar

Jeff thanks for another outstanding week. We need to get Trump some weed, he might actually become coherent. FIFA, is going out of its way to kiss ass. They rented space in Trump Tower and gave him a replica of The FIFA CUP, so this fake medal is just another sign that they know what most of us know, give him something, anything and he will set you up with anything (I mean) anything you want. He is master transaction.

FYI the Resolute desk he is using in the WH is not the original one. He moved it, are you ready to Mara-shit-Hole and its on display roped and stations and an American flag. We will never see it again. First it was files now its furniture. (my source a friend event planner) Unfortunately I have been inside the bat cave long ago.

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SethTriggs's avatar

He's the world's most malevolent bowerbird.

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DrBDH's avatar

FIFA is as corrupt as a three week old corpse.

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Koko in AZ's avatar

Fucked up week, year, decade...

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Judy McNichols's avatar

His entire 79+ years on this planet!

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