this week in stupid: December 23 edition
Donald Trump dealt it, Mike Pence smelt it, and so much more ...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
sunday: what you should have said was nothing
this upstanding young patriot loves the shit out of his country — but he’s got a bone to pick with our institutions.
“I would say that the institutions that are upholding democracy aren’t upholding our democracy.”
“explain.”
“what we see is a rise of communism, all over the United States.”
“what’s the definition of communism, in your eyes?”
“I don’t have a definition of communism.”
Redhats, can we talk? I’ve been doing these ‘week in stupid’ posts for almost a year now, and you people are making my job way too easy. just shut the fuck up. from now on, you have no comment. you see a guy coming towards you with a microphone? say it with me: no comment.
what’s your favorite color? no comment. who are you voting for? no comment. how do you define communism? absolutely no fucking comment.
see how simple that is?
ok, good chat. now go out there and shut the fuck up like the champ you are, tiger.
monday: we were so poor we had to enslave granny
Backwoods McYokel here is fucking pissed off.
McYokel has been carrying a grudge for the last 158 years, and he’s not afraid to tell you all about it.
you see, this dude’s family was too poor to own slaves. they totally missed out on that sweet, sweet getting-rich-off-the-forced-labor-of-people-you-own thing.
“do you know how much a slave cost back then?”
so unfair!
tuesday: illiterate says what
Agolf Shitler is still spewing his hateful bullshit about swarthy immigrants poisoning the blood of white people — but he must be feeling the heat from criticism about going Full Fascist, because he’s added a new disclaimer to his standard stump speech.
“it’s true, they’re destroying the blood of our country. it’s true, that’s what they’re doing. they’re destroying our country. they don’t like it when I said that, and I never read Mein Kampf.”
first of all, every Trump denial is an admission.
but ok, just this one time, let’s give Trump the benefit of the doubt here — because the guy is a functional illiterate. he doesn’t read anything.
this is the fucking moron whose daily intel briefing was basically stick figure drawings, so he could follow along without getting confused. they had to mix in photos of ladies’ boobies just to keep his attention focused.
so of course Trump didn’t read Mein Kampf. he listened to the audio book version, recorded personally for him by Steven Miller.
wednesday: drugs?whatmakesyouthinkI’mondrugs
holy shit, how fucking coked to the gills is Individal-1 Junior in this clip? how has his heart not exploded yet?
“IdiditmyguyswhoIstayedintouchwithmanyofthemaresuchdearfriendsthey’relikeheydudethere’snowayyouwouldhavegottenawaywiththatIgoIknowluckilyIdon’tsnortcocainelikeit’snotmything.”
jesus aitch christ, slow down, bro.
in case you need this motormouthed gobbledygook translated, Sniffy McNosecandy is denying he uses cocaine.
it’s the least credible thing to come out of a Trump mouth since “I never heard of Mein Kampf.”
thursday: how the lizard people prepare for hibernation
hey, it’s Ron DeSantis.
hello, fellow human!
hey Ron, what the fuck are you doing here?
storing up food for the winter.
in your cheeks?
yes, just as you do, fellow human.
no we don’t.
yes we do. I saw it in a documentary.
Ron, was it a nature documentary about chipmunks?
Alvin. Alvin’s great, isn’t he? what a scamp.
friday: jingle bells, Donny smells
there’s a rumor going around that to stand downwind from Little Donny Fuckface is to risk getting a pungent noseful of overripe diaper.
#TrumpSmells trended on not-twitter all of Friday.
is it true?
well, check out these photos. like the man says, we report — you decide.
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.
Backwoods McYokel forgets one thing, that Abraham Lincoln DID IN FACT pay reparations for slavery....But oh wait it was the $1000’s per slave paid to the white masters who received payment McYokel. Let’s not forget that the abolishment of slavery was not officially passed until the Grant administration. But ya know us History degree holders are a rare breed because, reading is illegal in apartheid America.
That look Buzz Aldren gave Donald..WHOA NELLIE... I saw a clip of a guy who had been harassing Buzz for over a year, telling Buzz he didn’t walk on the moon. Well, Buzz listened to him then threw a punch and decked him... Now that’s pure gold.. Happy Happy to you Jeff and all our fellow travelers.