this week in stupid: December 21 edition
Donny flaunts it, Tommy haunts it, and so much more...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
monday: make America dance again
who says there are no third acts in America?
James O’Keefe rose to right-wing fame as a ratfucker who ruined the careers of progressive activists by creating deceptively-edited videos that our gullible media were only too happy to air.
but like so many wingnut grifters who gain notoriety and develop a taste for living beyond their means, James got greedy. he started playing fast and loose with donor funds and was ousted in disgrace by Project Veritas — the organization he founded — for “financial malfeasance.”
so, when you’ve gone from conservative hero to zero in a heartbeat, what do you do next?
you put on dance parties, I guess.
“This party is for anyone who’s been jailed, sued, fired, or condemned for telling the truth.”
how about predatory cum-socks who embezzle donor funds and end up bounced out of the org they founded? can they dance, too, Jimbo?
hey, let’s check out some of Ratfuck Jimmy’s moves.
dope shit, bro. we haven’t seen anyone cut a rug like this since Elaine lit up the dance floor on Seinfeld.
don’t quit your day job, Jim. oh, that’s right — you don’t have a day job.
too bad, so sad.
tuesday: make America infectious again
America’s dumbest senator, Tommy Tuberville, has long been a cautionary tale for why you should never play football without a helmet — but in addition to being a career failure as a football coach, T-Tubes is apparently also an expert in virology.
in this clip, Tommy blithers incoherently about how babies in America are getting “too many vaccines.” we also get this gem:
“everybody in this group has lost somebody ... possibly from the [COVID] vaccine that were perfectly healthy.”
yeah, no. that’s a totally credible statement — if you’re making shit up.
now, I’m not an all-knowing super-genius like No-Helmet Tommy, so I had to google for my facts — and what I learned is that out of the over 8 billion doses of covid vaccine that have been administered, there have been 55 deaths attributed to it.
that’s a mortality rate of 0.0000000625% — so I’m pretty fucking sure that no, we don’t all know someone who died from the covid vaccine.
wed: make America cringe again
what the fuck is wrong with Nancy Mace?
“Which bathroom do we think Trey Gowdy uses?”
wut? is Nance seriously suggesting that Trey Gowdy is trans? now, there’s a backstory here. Trey, you see, has been criticizing Mace’s voting record — and so this is how Nancy fights back, with childish tweets.
Nancy Mace needs help. look, I’m not the only one saying this. her own former staffers and consultants have been ringing the alarm bells for a while now.
“You can stop texting me. I fired Nancy Mace as client a few months back because I’m a political consultant and not a babysitter, a sex therapist or a doctor who can prescribe fixes for chemical imbalances. I don’t have time for her constant egotistical bullshit and drama in my life.”
you know you’ve fucked up when your own political consultant — a guy whose livelihood depends on tact and confidentiality — will be this explicit about your ahem issues.
thursday: make tumors great again
since the election, there’s been no end to voters who are now regretting that they pulled the lever for Donny. they’re shocked to learn that Mr. I’m Going to Lower the Price of Your Eggs is actually a sociopathic shithead who doesn’t give a fuck about them — or their problems.
here’s a homeboy who is totally stunned to find that the leopards are eating the faces of children with cancer.
“Wasn’t expecting him to be anti cancer funding”
this guy was totally okay with rounding up migrants into concentration camps. he was absolutely down with stripping America for parts and selling it off to gazillionaires — but kids with cancer being told to go fuck themselves? that was a bridge too far.
hey, at least he has some values, am I right?
unlike this psycho, who is squarely on Team Fuck Those Kids With Cancer.
friday: make America throw up in its own mouth a little again
holy shit, what the fuck happened here?
it looks like Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants slipped past his handlers, and waddled down from his room in order to greet the patrons at one of his vermin-infested golf motels. but he’s forgotten to wear his girdle. ditto for the quart of tangerine-hued caulk that’s always spackled across his face. and he’s got his shapeless polyester pants hiked up to practically just below his ample man-boobs.
what in the name of Comb-over Jesus is going on with Dear Leader’s hair? is this really what it looks like when Donny fails to spend an hour teasing his six remaining strands into his signature cotton-candy rat’s nest?
Donny is a one-man toxic waste site. it’s nightmare fuel, is what it is.
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
do you have a nomination for This Week in Stupid? email me at jefftiedrich@gmail.com. thanks!
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
Orange Fuckwit came down to mingle sans his get-up?! That natural look is as fugly as his usual Earl Sheib paint job.
For fuck's sake. Tuberville can't even spell science!