213 Comments
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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

note for Ellis Weiner, if you're out there: I'm pretty sure I cribbed 'hey Jesus, shut the door' from a forty-something-year-old issue of National Lampoon

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Lois Henry's avatar

In Christopher Moore’s book ‘Lamb’, Jesus was asked, “hey! were you born in a barn or something?”, and he answered yes.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

well, I've read Lamb — and it's a fucking great book — so maybe that's where I got it from

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Lois Henry's avatar

Possibly. It’s just too good a line not to show up from time to time.

And agreed - it is a great book. No matter how many times I read it I find something new to grin about. I’ll never see a Starbucks without thinking of a goat.

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Cheri Collins's avatar

I love Moore’s books. Lamb was terrific!

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Hey it fits you found it and for snooping magats out there it is called research and report. Who am I kidding it’s too late for you idiots to convert.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Yeah, I've really got to watch myself in that department!

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Abigail Norling's avatar

HA!

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Thanks for your review Jeff. One item not mentioned was that fucking hole where our East Wing of our White House was demolished. No permits, no architect, no construction company, no review by the National Historic Preservation Board, no congressional approval. … just torn down in the middle of the night on the whim of a brain addled, dementia, narcissistic, entitled, arrogant POS. I mean WTF? And then his speech last night, talking about his wife’s briefs? None of this is normal, he is not normal, his cult is not normal… Best to All

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I guess he was waxing nostalgic for that time years ago when he got anywhere near her briefs, on or off her

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

He was likely waxing his carrot

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

Mushroom, per Stormy Daniels

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Mwfeiger's avatar

My moniker for him is based on Daniels' observation, "Fungus". It's a fun word to say and easy to imagine something to avoid. It also can be dressed up with accessories like "Fat", "45-47", "Fucking", every manner of alliteration.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

There’s a Fungus among us

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

Don't forget the Yeti Pubes.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Shroom -shaped

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂😂

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

HAHAHA, why restrict it to Mel? There are so many options like KKKLeavit or Noem or Blondi Bondi or Loomer or Ericka Kirk… just thinking out loud..

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Maria Devereux's avatar

I'm liking Hagueseth lately.

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Yup! One can dream, right???

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Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

I am looking forward to Trump's humiliation when the next president erases all the garbage Trump thinks is securing his "legacy."

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KathyInCali's avatar

Yeah, that’s on the DAY 1 “to do” list! That, and the mass firings of MAGA idiots, sycophants, and J6 convicts that have been installed into our govt. There’ll be nothing wrong with leaving vacant positions, as there was when Elmo did it. These ppl are ignorant and unqualified. Lucky to be collecting a paycheck for doing nothing.

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Judy Luchsinger's avatar

Don't you mean collecting a paycheck for doing damage?

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Anna Bolique's avatar

Hopefully he will have been "residing" underground for some time by then.

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Curt Andersen's avatar

I would imagine lots of scrap metal folks will be bidding for that huge pile of trash.

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Claudia Classon's avatar

I’m not sure I want to look forward to his humiliation—-if he dies in office, Couchfuck McGee won’t have the <ahem>balls to destroy Trump’s “legacy.” Which means we’ll have THREE MORE YEARS of Trump before the next president can erase him. I don’t know if I can survive that. May it happen definitively and soon.

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Claudia Classon's avatar

Absolutely. And judging by Trump’s growing dementia, he won’t be president by then. Hope springeth, etc.

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Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

It's going to be hard but we have to make it to January 2027 when Democrats regain control of the House and, if things fall into place, the Senate.

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Actually, we won’t have anything close to pedofelonandasshat47. Couchfuck is gonna be so much worse. We are going to have a dark ass tech bros dystopian fantasy with Vance.

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Claudia Classon's avatar

We can take away his sofas and eyeliner. See if he survives...

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

He’ll be dead. Well, perhaps we will be too.

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

Permits? We ain’t got no permits. We don’t need no permits. I DON'T HAVE TO SHOW YOU ANY STINKING PERMITS!!

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SethTriggs's avatar

When you serve the unreconstructed they just let you do it.

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Carol C's avatar

I read somewhere that Trump had the dirt from the East Wing demolition dumped on a public golf course in the DC area. He has designs on three such golf courses, as well as four government buildings he wants razed to sell to developers. One, the Cohen Bldg., has enormous murals which belong to the public, even if the building is torn down. It’s called the Sistine Chapel of the New Deal.

There are injunctions or lawsuits, to stop the destruction. Somebody got wind that these buildings were targeted, before they got the East Wing treatment.

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Carol you brought up a very important point that most folks don’t know about.. The fact that he dumped those loads from our E. Wing of the WH, his attempt to purchase public courses in and around DC make my blood boil… as most know I play golf, and for him to purchase public courses and turn them into private clubs smacks in the face of POC who play on these public courses… and their children.. You cannot grow the game using this method… makes me sick…

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Outdoorluvr's avatar

He's only trying to grow the game of Grift, Fredo. Almost as if he never plans on leaving our White House...

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MaryTR's avatar

Hopefully the Grim Reaper has a different idea.

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MaryTR's avatar

And he desecrates the game every time he plays because he CHEATS!

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SethTriggs's avatar

The pricktator is lawless, aided by Taney Court 2.0. So we'll see what happens.

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Claudia Classon's avatar

Did anyone check that soil for contaminants?

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Pete Gorton's avatar

no need. They'l be full of asbestos and lots of other non-environmentally friendly stuff. The real questions are: how much of it is there? how contaminated is it? what is going to be done about treating it?

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Claudia Classon's avatar

I was thinking about the contaminants being dumped on public golf courses and who will pay for the inevitable clean up (if it's bad soil). We can't get through ONE DAY without this nonsense.

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Will's avatar

Ten years ago, if anyone said, "Just wait, eventually they'll try hanging Nazi flags at the White House," everyone would've said you were completely nuts.

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Keith's avatar

donnie johnboy's appearance in the bowels of depravity began the 1st time his pic was taken at a NYC social event where the rich and fake rich gathered to seek notoriety in the society pages of the big apple's need for greed garbage columns

FUKTRUMP! EAT THE RICH!

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

I would suggest that the Mad King follows the principle that it’s better to beg forgiveness than to ask for permission, but we all know he doesn’t care about forgiveness either. Or principles.

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Malcolm Maremont's avatar

Or begging

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Megan Ross's avatar

TRump always does the WRONG thing and couldn't care less what anyone else thinks. Where's our Congress?!? Oh, that's right. They went home early for the holidays.

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Mingo's avatar

Golf with MAGA's should be interesting in 2026. What will the old, white farts have to crow about their dear leader. The only word I have for any of this is gobsmacked, because none of this is normal.

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Cyndi's avatar

I am curious about what they will do when Trump dies. Any sense which of the competing MAGA camps they will gravitate to?

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ditto Fastball, everything this self-fellating chode does is not simply illegal, it defies sanity!

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AuntTeeFa's avatar

Grandpa and normal don’t even belong in the same sentence Fredo

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Ann Gullberg's avatar

WTF can now stand for When’s Trump’s Funeral. … how long can he continue to deteriorate before everyone sees he is bonkers.

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celeste k.'s avatar

Looking forward to watching all that crazy shit being torn down, right after the orange traitor is out of office. Or before.

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

What do your golding buddies say now?

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PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

Removing trumps name from the Kennedy Center next year should be an easy fix.

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

Seeing that name in a nearby dumpster would make my year, if not decade.

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Bob Bowden's avatar

Landfills and junkyards everywhere should get tRump’s name, and dumpsters should heretofore be called “trumpsters”

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Pam Humphrey's avatar

A Pulitzer for the photographer who preserves that historic event for posterity!

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Yes, and I’m sure that this was repeated by those of us who have no use for this a$$’s maniacal behaviour.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Engraved walls not so much though Peace!

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Dude, when you’re Jewish you realize that NOTHING is “beyond your pay grade”.

What gets me is how on earth these grifting preachers get away with all their shite. And then I look at the ultraright Israeli parties and realize it boils down to tribal racism.

Paula White been up to anything lately? That crook is supposed to be running the White House Faith Office. Cricket headquarters.

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Hey, Neal, Jeff et al: What would I do without ALL of my Jewish friends' sense of humor? Just had a therapy session with a patient and neither of us could stop laughing at what goes on in his life!

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Remember “The Show About Nothing” (it was from Seinfeld) is actually what Jews can do and make human nature hilarious, it works Larry David does it all the time somebody says something duplicitous and it’s all over town immediately. Laughing at ourselves and it’s something dopey don never learned.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

White

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Thx. Autocorrect sucks, don’t it?

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

She needed to do hours of work on her hair and that face, so I suspect it will be a while. It was so bad they probably ordered an ambulance but got 100 pizzas delivered by mistake.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Wright is looking for another double-wide ass to fill the seat of Timothy Cardinal Dolan.

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Keith's avatar

wash rinse repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat

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Deepak Puri's avatar

With Trump, never forget the grift!

Who’s Trump protecting by hiding the Epstein files? Follow the money to Putin, Netanyahu, MBS and Peter Thiel with this relationship map.

https://thedemlabs.org/2025/12/20/trump-protection-racket-hides-epstein-files/

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Jeff, I couldnt stand to read through that fucking Epstein Library shit. But I did. Here you go. I am now going to escort myself to the shower, drink 5 gallons of brain bleach, and douse my eyes in eye bleach to get all the dirty shit out.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/trump-is-in-the-epstein-files-we-just-cant-see-it

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rlritt's avatar

Again, I ask who needs photos and testimony to know that Trump is a disgusting pedophile and a pig. I don't. And his followers don't. Trump consistently gets a 40 % approval rating in spite of his actions and behaviors. Those 4 out of 10 people don't care that Trump is a rapist or a pedophile. Those 40% only care that the government stifles speech, jails only people of color, puts women back in the kitchen and Blacks at the end of the line.

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Outdoorluvr's avatar

We need photos and testimony to find out who was part and parcel to what was probably the largest child sex trafficking ring on the planet. I want every single person who knew about it (and failed to report) to be prosecuted and removed from the public sphere. Every, damn. one. Right down to the person who wrote phone messages saying, "Has a female for you". And if they were women, double their jail sentence!

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Tess's avatar

Gee Wendy-don’t do that! lol

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Koko in AZ's avatar

If my husband decided to tell a story about my panties drawer to people we know (let alone strangers), he'd be sleeping in the garage until he could come to terms with his life choices.

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Carol C's avatar

Was Trump referring to the FBI searching Mar-a-Lago for the stolen documents? They had a warrant. Want to bet he was making it up the panty drawers search?

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Same question it’s just hanging out there with no explanation. I assume he is just whining about tds again.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Of course….. he lies about every damn thing!

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Nancy's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL! 👏👏👏

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Julie Silverman's avatar

I’ve gone from being angry, anxious and annoyed in general, to just being sad. I’ve talked till I’m blue in the face. I’ve written letters and supported protests and donated money. Nothing helps. Now I’m just sad. Merry Christmas my ass.

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Declan's avatar

46 years ago when I started my career, a coworker showed me a gag(?) Christmas card with an extremely angry Santa 🎅 on the cover, with the message..."Times are rough, times are hard, here's your [effing] Christmas card". And we have come first circle....😅

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Paula Dean's avatar

Ditto, Julie. I am currently immobilized by sorrow, both personally and as an American. My body, including my brain, feels like lead.

This Christmas has been canceled. We still have another year of this shit to go.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

This is the first year ever I haven't put up a Christmas tree (I just like the lights and glitter). Fewer outdoor decorations in my neighborhood as well, except for a few inflatables from China. It feels funereal all around.

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Jan Moon's avatar

Sharon . . . my Christmas "tree" this year is a 12" fake green branched gnome bedecked in a string of solar fairy lights which, I discovered, don't charge during the day. Reason 1) no sun to speak of, and reason 2) they're beyond their use-by date. Guess there'll be a dark Christmas at my house this year.

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kathiallyson's avatar

"My body… feels like lead." OMG yes. Thank you Paula for pointing my blame indicator needle at the correct target. I thought my malaise was physical, silly me. It is 95% mental.

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Same.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Me too. When does the nightmare end?

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

When the show that starred Kieffer Sutherland as the HUD Secretary turned President happens in real life.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh yeah....what was the name of that?? I watched '24' religiously.

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SethTriggs's avatar

It is a bumper crop of crap.

Wow the extra "And" on the defaced Kennedy Center is really emblematic of every slapdash thing in Maladministration 2.0.

And yes the place can only be renamed by Congress but the Congress is controlled by the same racist ethnonationalist, transnational criminal syndicate headed by the pricktator. So as in everything, Congress cedes its power to the pricktator.

Should there be Democratic control again these checks in the legal and political system will resume. That is because Democrats do not serve the interests of the unreconstructed, which are the torment and elimination of vulnerable minorities.

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

They really are "The Cream of the Crap," to coin a phrase. Look for this to be the most vandalized site in the continental U.S.

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Permian Extinction's avatar

Here we are, less than a week from Christmas Day, and no one has dropped acid in the White House drinking water. Or injected it into the Diet Coke supply.

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Grace Kennedy's avatar

Are you sure of that?

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Cheri Collins's avatar

😂

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

What could it hurt.

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Mary Hall's avatar

Someone needs to tell Pastor Frank that it’s been scientifically proven that homophobes are likely to be closeted self-loathing homosexuals themselves. IOW, the lady doth protest too much, methinks.

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Mike Hammer's avatar

“Harshing out my mellow” might be an improvement to shattering my calm, Jeff.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I feel sorry for those Posobiec kids. With that white supremacist Xtian nationalist upbringing they are already set up to become hate mongers like their father

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Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

I feel the same way about Stephen Miller's kids.

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rlritt's avatar

What happened to him in his life that grew with a maniacal need to destroy the US. Or did he meet Trump and think "now here is where I can use my skills at manipulation to hurt the most people."

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rlritt's avatar

The thing that is not mentioned in this piece is that US corporate America and agribusiness has always supported migration, especially from 3rd world countries so they can keep working class wages down. And they have been successful, which is why much of the white working class supports limiting immigration. I don't think immigration depends on the US desire to help the poor and downtrodden of the 3rd world.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

It’s a quandary but we are also or used to profess to be compassionate, everything Donnie’s thugs do is mean and offensive.

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Rebecca Mazur's avatar

thank you, an informative article. bogus intellectual arguments and justification for hate that had previously never entered my mind! always enjoy the opportunity to understand the enemy.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Given their last names, it won’t take long for their classmates to justifiably start calling them:

https://youtu.be/NPY3Cu2R1SI?si=k3m8PubGIHV8zvrS

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Joyce's avatar

Isn't that shrine claiming Donnie Demento is the 'reason for the season' kinda.....ummmmmm......like a war on Christmas?

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Yep. MAGA has "evolved" into the Trump First movement. The cult loves hearing about his wife's carefully folded panties in disarray and how Dear Leader was hunted like a mighty warrior by animals.

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Paula Dean's avatar

My Christmas has been ruined. I'm pinning my hopes on next year's. No, wait...

Tariffs will still be in effect. My credit cards will still be maxed and at 30% interest. Our new Democratic House will not have begun working yet.

Jesus, if you can forgive the heresy, please give us strength to survive this ungodly time.

Amen.

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Lynell(VA by way of MD&DC)'s avatar

"I’m a Jew, dammit. how did it become my job to explain to these shitkazoos how Christianity works? this is way beyond my pay-grade."

Dang, Jeff. I was born Catholic. Your version of how Christianity works is a ton better than how the "Christians" I have known behave. I want my money back!

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Dina's avatar

You can use it every day but the gif of Hegseth, from the Department of Flipping a Skateboard Into Your Own Nuts, will never get old.

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rlritt's avatar

So true. I laugh everytime.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I just love that! 😂

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Joyce's avatar

Never, ever, ever! When Kegseth finally croaks, it should be the photo on the front of memorial program

PS--what the hell is up with Kegseth's hair these days? Between the ever-widening blond streaks and the gallons of oil, it looks as if someone has plowed furrows into his head.

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