314 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

note for Ellis Weiner, if you're out there: I'm pretty sure I cribbed 'hey Jesus, shut the door' from a forty-something-year-old issue of National Lampoon

Lois Henry's avatar

In Christopher Moore’s book ‘Lamb’, Jesus was asked, “hey! were you born in a barn or something?”, and he answered yes.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

well, I've read Lamb — and it's a fucking great book — so maybe that's where I got it from

Lois Henry's avatar

Possibly. It’s just too good a line not to show up from time to time.

And agreed - it is a great book. No matter how many times I read it I find something new to grin about. I’ll never see a Starbucks without thinking of a goat.

T L Mills's avatar

I loved "Lamb", along with many of his other hysterically funny books (Fool, A Dirty Job, You Suck, etc., etc., etc.)

Cheri Collins's avatar

I love Moore’s books. Lamb was terrific!

Suel J's avatar

One of the best lines from Christopher Moore.

Sue Munda's avatar

I love that book!

michellefromchicago's avatar

Jeff, the reason you have to explain Christianity to people like Franklin Graham is that they are a pack of heretics and idolaters, every single one of them.

Cindy Watter's avatar

Do you know what cultural groups know the most about Christianity? Of course you do. Jews and atheists. That’s according to the Pew research people.

michellefromchicago's avatar

Sad. but not surprising

Mombeka's avatar

And Muslims. Muslims also know a lot about Christianity because Jews and Christians and Muslims are all “People of the Book”

But Muslims, although certain folks really like to demonise them, are actually a very small percentage of the population in the USA.

So, unless it’s convenient for the lunatics (remember the “Muslim Ban” of Trump 1.0?) on the right wing to imagine that the brown Muslim hordes are about to kill us all, Muslims are often left out of the equation.

Robert Eckert's avatar

They literally worship antichrist

michellefromchicago's avatar

John Fugelsang says that Trump is not the AntiChrist, but Christ is the Anti-Trump

Carrie Duncan's avatar

I so appreciate the precision of that description, MfromChi.

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

You said CHI town so I have a friend that moved where I live Costa Rica, she was so pissed that they aimed that dirty word right at her house, now no escape they look out and there it is.

michellefromchicago's avatar

Many of us are upset about that, Douglas. The Trump building is an eyesore

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Hey it fits you found it and for snooping magats out there it is called research and report. Who am I kidding it’s too late for you idiots to convert.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Yeah, I've really got to watch myself in that department!

Cheryl ODonnell's avatar

Just read that among all the redacted pages eliminating Dump’s and others’ names, they have left in a survivor’s name. Cannot be a mistake. A survivor who has been denied access to her FBI file. 2008. How intimidating can they be?

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Thanks for your review Jeff. One item not mentioned was that fucking hole where our East Wing of our White House was demolished. No permits, no architect, no construction company, no review by the National Historic Preservation Board, no congressional approval. … just torn down in the middle of the night on the whim of a brain addled, dementia, narcissistic, entitled, arrogant POS. I mean WTF? And then his speech last night, talking about his wife’s briefs? None of this is normal, he is not normal, his cult is not normal… Best to All

HI2thDoc's avatar

I guess he was waxing nostalgic for that time years ago when he got anywhere near her briefs, on or off her

Joe Witkowski's avatar

He was likely waxing his carrot

Steve in SoCal's avatar

Mushroom, per Stormy Daniels

Mwfeiger's avatar

My moniker for him is based on Daniels' observation, "Fungus". It's a fun word to say and easy to imagine something to avoid. It also can be dressed up with accessories like "Fat", "45-47", "Fucking", every manner of alliteration.

Ole Anderson's avatar

There’s a Fungus among us

T L Mills's avatar

The Felonious Fungus...yeah, you're right!

Mwfeiger's avatar

How's about Failing fucking fat felonious fascist FUNGUS.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Shroom -shaped

Lady Emsworth's avatar

If you just made "waxing his carrot" up, congratulations.

That will probably appear in the next edition of "The Urban Slang Dictionary."

And I will be using it, every chance I get. (The phrase, I mean, not the damn carrot. . .)

Fastball Fredo's avatar

HAHAHA, why restrict it to Mel? There are so many options like KKKLeavit or Noem or Blondi Bondi or Loomer or Ericka Kirk… just thinking out loud..

Maria Devereux's avatar

I'm liking Hagueseth lately.

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Yup! One can dream, right???

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

I am looking forward to Trump's humiliation when the next president erases all the garbage Trump thinks is securing his "legacy."

KathyInCali's avatar

Yeah, that’s on the DAY 1 “to do” list! That, and the mass firings of MAGA idiots, sycophants, and J6 convicts that have been installed into our govt. There’ll be nothing wrong with leaving vacant positions, as there was when Elmo did it. These ppl are ignorant and unqualified. Lucky to be collecting a paycheck for doing nothing.

Judy Luchsinger's avatar

Don't you mean collecting a paycheck for doing damage?

Anna Bolique's avatar

Hopefully he will have been "residing" underground for some time by then.

Claudia Classon's avatar

I’m not sure I want to look forward to his humiliation—-if he dies in office, Couchfuck McGee won’t have the <ahem>balls to destroy Trump’s “legacy.” Which means we’ll have THREE MORE YEARS of Trump before the next president can erase him. I don’t know if I can survive that. May it happen definitively and soon.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

It's going to be hard but we have to make it to January 2027 when Democrats regain control of the House and, if things fall into place, the Senate.

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Actually, we won’t have anything close to pedofelonandasshat47. Couchfuck is gonna be so much worse. We are going to have a dark ass tech bros dystopian fantasy with Vance.

Claudia Classon's avatar

We can take away his sofas and eyeliner. See if he survives...

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Good thought, but his eyeliner is permanent, it is tattooed on, I know because I had it done. I always recognize it in others.

DJS's avatar

Remember back when many people were saying PENCE would be much worse than trump?

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Ah yes, Ayatollah Pence. And his wife the original model of Karen.

Claudia Classon's avatar

Absolutely. And judging by Trump’s growing dementia, he won’t be president by then. Hope springeth, etc.

Curt Andersen's avatar

I would imagine lots of scrap metal folks will be bidding for that huge pile of trash.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

As long as it gets recycled. make melting it down mandatory.

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

He’ll be dead. Well, perhaps we will be too.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

Permits? We ain’t got no permits. We don’t need no permits. I DON'T HAVE TO SHOW YOU ANY STINKING PERMITS!!

DJS's avatar

National Security!

SethTriggs's avatar

When you serve the unreconstructed they just let you do it.

Carol C's avatar

I read somewhere that Trump had the dirt from the East Wing demolition dumped on a public golf course in the DC area. He has designs on three such golf courses, as well as four government buildings he wants razed to sell to developers. One, the Cohen Bldg., has enormous murals which belong to the public, even if the building is torn down. It’s called the Sistine Chapel of the New Deal.

There are injunctions or lawsuits, to stop the destruction. Somebody got wind that these buildings were targeted, before they got the East Wing treatment.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Carol you brought up a very important point that most folks don’t know about.. The fact that he dumped those loads from our E. Wing of the WH, his attempt to purchase public courses in and around DC make my blood boil… as most know I play golf, and for him to purchase public courses and turn them into private clubs smacks in the face of POC who play on these public courses… and their children.. You cannot grow the game using this method… makes me sick…

Outdoorluvr's avatar

He's only trying to grow the game of Grift, Fredo. Almost as if he never plans on leaving our White House...

MaryTR's avatar

Hopefully the Grim Reaper has a different idea.

Outdoorluvr's avatar

I'm personally not banking on it. The evil people I've encountered during my lifetime seem to be the ones who get to spread their misery well past their expiration date. I share your hope, though!

MaryTR's avatar

And he desecrates the game every time he plays because he CHEATS!

Claudia Classon's avatar

Did anyone check that soil for contaminants?

Pete Gorton's avatar

no need. They'l be full of asbestos and lots of other non-environmentally friendly stuff. The real questions are: how much of it is there? how contaminated is it? what is going to be done about treating it?

Claudia Classon's avatar

I was thinking about the contaminants being dumped on public golf courses and who will pay for the inevitable clean up (if it's bad soil). We can't get through ONE DAY without this nonsense.

SethTriggs's avatar

The pricktator is lawless, aided by Taney Court 2.0. So we'll see what happens.

Will's avatar

Ten years ago, if anyone said, "Just wait, eventually they'll try hanging Nazi flags at the White House," everyone would've said you were completely nuts.

Keith's avatar

donnie johnboy's appearance in the bowels of depravity began the 1st time his pic was taken at a NYC social event where the rich and fake rich gathered to seek notoriety in the society pages of the big apple's need for greed garbage columns

FUKTRUMP! EAT THE RICH!

2Cats2Furious's avatar

I would suggest that the Mad King follows the principle that it’s better to beg forgiveness than to ask for permission, but we all know he doesn’t care about forgiveness either. Or principles.

Megan Ross's avatar

TRump always does the WRONG thing and couldn't care less what anyone else thinks. Where's our Congress?!? Oh, that's right. They went home early for the holidays.

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

Everybody is perfectly positioned to serve him: Legislative, Judicial, and Executive branches. He can do whatever the fuck he wants.

Mingo's avatar

Golf with MAGA's should be interesting in 2026. What will the old, white farts have to crow about their dear leader. The only word I have for any of this is gobsmacked, because none of this is normal.

Cyndi's avatar

I am curious about what they will do when Trump dies. Any sense which of the competing MAGA camps they will gravitate to?

Ann Gullberg's avatar

WTF can now stand for When’s Trump’s Funeral. … how long can he continue to deteriorate before everyone sees he is bonkers.

arne link's avatar

They don't care because they are using him to hide their takeover. Even if he is completely gone mentally, they will drug him up and use him as their mascot. We all know this.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ditto Fastball, everything this self-fellating chode does is not simply illegal, it defies sanity!

celeste k.'s avatar

Looking forward to watching all that crazy shit being torn down, right after the orange traitor is out of office. Or before.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Grandpa and normal don’t even belong in the same sentence Fredo

Linda Fairchild's avatar

It's an underground data center like Israel. Horrifying. The ballroom is just the foil. Follow Larry Ellison, who followed Musk. These tech bros want to control the world, like Hitler. Didn’t end so well for him. I'm betting on the peasants.

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

What do your golding buddies say now?

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Thanks for asking.. Holidays mean a few leave or there are medical issues. I will begin with a new group on Tuesday as we merged for the above reasons. I will use my belief that anyone I encounter is MAGA unless they prove to me otherwise… I will be writing about the experience next week.. Happy Holidays to all.

Carlye Hooten's avatar

And the smoking hole has NO PLANS.

PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

Removing trumps name from the Kennedy Center next year should be an easy fix.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

Seeing that name in a nearby dumpster would make my year, if not decade.

Bob Bowden's avatar

Landfills and junkyards everywhere should get tRump’s name, and dumpsters should heretofore be called “trumpsters”

shee-rah's avatar

The Trump Memorial Landfill - It has a nice ring to it.

Pam Humphrey's avatar

A Pulitzer for the photographer who preserves that historic event for posterity!

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Yes, and I’m sure that this was repeated by those of us who have no use for this a$$’s maniacal behaviour.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Engraved walls not so much though Peace!

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Dude, when you’re Jewish you realize that NOTHING is “beyond your pay grade”.

What gets me is how on earth these grifting preachers get away with all their shite. And then I look at the ultraright Israeli parties and realize it boils down to tribal racism.

Paula White been up to anything lately? That crook is supposed to be running the White House Faith Office. Cricket headquarters.

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Hey, Neal, Jeff et al: What would I do without ALL of my Jewish friends' sense of humor? Just had a therapy session with a patient and neither of us could stop laughing at what goes on in his life!

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Remember “The Show About Nothing” (it was from Seinfeld) is actually what Jews can do and make human nature hilarious, it works Larry David does it all the time somebody says something duplicitous and it’s all over town immediately. Laughing at ourselves and it’s something dopey don never learned.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Thx. Autocorrect sucks, don’t it?

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

She needed to do hours of work on her hair and that face, so I suspect it will be a while. It was so bad they probably ordered an ambulance but got 100 pizzas delivered by mistake.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

Wright is looking for another double-wide ass to fill the seat of Timothy Cardinal Dolan.

arne link's avatar

Just pulling a big salary and staying out of the limelight to continue grifting. Why do people believe these charlatans? I will never understand why.

Keith's avatar

wash rinse repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat

Koko in AZ's avatar

If my husband decided to tell a story about my panties drawer to people we know (let alone strangers), he'd be sleeping in the garage until he could come to terms with his life choices.

Carol C's avatar

Was Trump referring to the FBI searching Mar-a-Lago for the stolen documents? They had a warrant. Want to bet he was making it up the panty drawers search?

Dave Drell's avatar

Of course….. he lies about every damn thing!

arne link's avatar

Of course he was making it up. He thought that it would be titillating. Personally, I don't want to be reminded of Melanie's nasty panties.

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Same question it’s just hanging out there with no explanation. I assume he is just whining about tds again.

Cheryl ODonnell's avatar

We live next to a swamp. Two inept criminals once dumped a body there. My husband could sleep there.

Julie Silverman's avatar

I’ve gone from being angry, anxious and annoyed in general, to just being sad. I’ve talked till I’m blue in the face. I’ve written letters and supported protests and donated money. Nothing helps. Now I’m just sad. Merry Christmas my ass.

Declan's avatar

46 years ago when I started my career, a coworker showed me a gag(?) Christmas card with an extremely angry Santa 🎅 on the cover, with the message..."Times are rough, times are hard, here's your [effing] Christmas card". And we have come first circle....😅

Paula Dean's avatar

Ditto, Julie. I am currently immobilized by sorrow, both personally and as an American. My body, including my brain, feels like lead.

This Christmas has been canceled. We still have another year of this shit to go.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

This is the first year ever I haven't put up a Christmas tree (I just like the lights and glitter). Fewer outdoor decorations in my neighborhood as well, except for a few inflatables from China. It feels funereal all around.

Jan Moon's avatar

Sharon . . . my Christmas "tree" this year is a 12" fake green branched gnome bedecked in a string of solar fairy lights which, I discovered, don't charge during the day. Reason 1) no sun to speak of, and reason 2) they're beyond their use-by date. Guess there'll be a dark Christmas at my house this year.

kathiallyson's avatar

"My body… feels like lead." OMG yes. Thank you Paula for pointing my blame indicator needle at the correct target. I thought my malaise was physical, silly me. It is 95% mental.

arne link's avatar

We cannot and must not weaken. They want us to give up but we will not give up. Never!

Susan Niemann's avatar

Me too. When does the nightmare end?

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

When the show that starred Kieffer Sutherland as the HUD Secretary turned President happens in real life.

Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh yeah....what was the name of that?? I watched '24' religiously.

PTW's avatar

"Designated Survivor"

Susie's avatar

I am so I touch with your emotion. So. In. Touch. 💔💔💔🇺🇸

Deepak Puri's avatar

With Trump, never forget the grift!

Who’s Trump protecting by hiding the Epstein files? Follow the money to Putin, Netanyahu, MBS and Peter Thiel with this relationship map.

https://thedemlabs.org/2025/12/20/trump-protection-racket-hides-epstein-files/

Robert Eckert's avatar

He's protecting HIMSELF.

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Jeff, I couldnt stand to read through that fucking Epstein Library shit. But I did. Here you go. I am now going to escort myself to the shower, drink 5 gallons of brain bleach, and douse my eyes in eye bleach to get all the dirty shit out.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/trump-is-in-the-epstein-files-we-just-cant-see-it

rlritt's avatar

Again, I ask who needs photos and testimony to know that Trump is a disgusting pedophile and a pig. I don't. And his followers don't. Trump consistently gets a 40 % approval rating in spite of his actions and behaviors. Those 4 out of 10 people don't care that Trump is a rapist or a pedophile. Those 40% only care that the government stifles speech, jails only people of color, puts women back in the kitchen and Blacks at the end of the line.

Outdoorluvr's avatar

We need photos and testimony to find out who was part and parcel to what was probably the largest child sex trafficking ring on the planet. I want every single person who knew about it (and failed to report) to be prosecuted and removed from the public sphere. Every, damn. one. Right down to the person who wrote phone messages saying, "Has a female for you". And if they were women, double their jail sentence!

rlritt's avatar

On a perfect world that would happen.

Outdoorluvr's avatar

Yes, but one of the victims is already suing the trump regime or DOJ. If they fight it, there will be discovery, right? I think they should all sue. That's one place I'd be glad to see my tax dollars used - victim compensation.

rlritt's avatar

She's got guts. These are very, very bad people with a lot to lose.

Outdoorluvr's avatar

Indeed. I saw another author on Substack pleading with the victims to just tell the abusers' names, since the public knows who they are now and they're out of danger. Holy crap - No they are not!

Tess's avatar

Gee Wendy-don’t do that! lol

Cheryl ODonnell's avatar

Wendy, I was completely unable to post this on your link so copied it and am posting it here. TMI but wtf anyway:

So as usual I have more than a few comments here. First and foremost, with decades of treating juvenile sex offenders and sexual abuse victims, now retired, extensive knowledge in the field, certified in my state and an expert witness, countless hours of training, the consumers of victims don’t go away. They don’t stop. Where is the networking Epstein so expertly tended? Who has picked up the reins? It’s out there. If we had a functioning FBI, we might be assured that they would be on it. We don’t; we have an FBi totally dedicated to protecting the pedophile in chief who was allegedly part of that sick, depraved network.

I once treated a young man who was passed around to a variety of men, according to him, on a number of occasions. I was vilified at work for believing that what he described was an organized group. The poor guy couldn’t even read; couldn’t have made it up. I will spare details.

And back barely out of high school I had the misfortune of encountering a certain Cary Welch. Happy to name him. I was female so didn’t matter to him. He collected underage boys, plied them with drugs and who knows what else. This was over 50 years ago and I think I could be reasonably certain what would have happened if I went to the police. I have no idea how extensive his network was. He’s dead now, may he rot in hell. One day I’ll

Do more of a search on him.

So this shit is out there. My concern now is to be whatever resource I can be who needs it. I’m not going anywhere and victims deserve whatever support they need

.

To add to this, they deserve fully open Epstein files, without being named for God’s sake. See iamdonnyevans.substack.com Dec 21, 2025 re: unredacted survivor information

SethTriggs's avatar

It is a bumper crop of crap.

Wow the extra "And" on the defaced Kennedy Center is really emblematic of every slapdash thing in Maladministration 2.0.

And yes the place can only be renamed by Congress but the Congress is controlled by the same racist ethnonationalist, transnational criminal syndicate headed by the pricktator. So as in everything, Congress cedes its power to the pricktator.

Should there be Democratic control again these checks in the legal and political system will resume. That is because Democrats do not serve the interests of the unreconstructed, which are the torment and elimination of vulnerable minorities.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

They really are "The Cream of the Crap," to coin a phrase. Look for this to be the most vandalized site in the continental U.S.

DJS's avatar

At least they made it easy to undo.

Mary Hall's avatar

Someone needs to tell Pastor Frank that it’s been scientifically proven that homophobes are likely to be closeted self-loathing homosexuals themselves. IOW, the lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Permian Extinction's avatar

Here we are, less than a week from Christmas Day, and no one has dropped acid in the White House drinking water. Or injected it into the Diet Coke supply.

Mike Hammer's avatar

“Harshing out my mellow” might be an improvement to shattering my calm, Jeff.

Janet's avatar

I want a t-shirt that says: “Don’t Harsh My Mellow!!”

HI2thDoc's avatar

I feel sorry for those Posobiec kids. With that white supremacist Xtian nationalist upbringing they are already set up to become hate mongers like their father

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

I feel the same way about Stephen Miller's kids.

rlritt's avatar

What happened to him in his life that grew with a maniacal need to destroy the US. Or did he meet Trump and think "now here is where I can use my skills at manipulation to hurt the most people."

rlritt's avatar

The thing that is not mentioned in this piece is that US corporate America and agribusiness has always supported migration, especially from 3rd world countries so they can keep working class wages down. And they have been successful, which is why much of the white working class supports limiting immigration. I don't think immigration depends on the US desire to help the poor and downtrodden of the 3rd world.

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

It’s a quandary but we are also or used to profess to be compassionate, everything Donnie’s thugs do is mean and offensive.

Rebecca Mazur's avatar

thank you, an informative article. bogus intellectual arguments and justification for hate that had previously never entered my mind! always enjoy the opportunity to understand the enemy.

arne link's avatar

Well, at least they will have received their vaccinations and will not get polio when it returns.

Joyce's avatar

Isn't that shrine claiming Donnie Demento is the 'reason for the season' kinda.....ummmmmm......like a war on Christmas?

Robert Eckert's avatar

So is telling his followers they don't need to buy presents for their children

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Yep. MAGA has "evolved" into the Trump First movement. The cult loves hearing about his wife's carefully folded panties in disarray and how Dear Leader was hunted like a mighty warrior by animals.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

Given their last names, it won’t take long for their classmates to justifiably start calling them:

https://youtu.be/NPY3Cu2R1SI?si=k3m8PubGIHV8zvrS

Paula Dean's avatar

My Christmas has been ruined. I'm pinning my hopes on next year's. No, wait...

Tariffs will still be in effect. My credit cards will still be maxed and at 30% interest. Our new Democratic House will not have begun working yet.

Jesus, if you can forgive the heresy, please give us strength to survive this ungodly time.

Amen.

Dina's avatar

You can use it every day but the gif of Hegseth, from the Department of Flipping a Skateboard Into Your Own Nuts, will never get old.

Joyce's avatar

Never, ever, ever! When Kegseth finally croaks, it should be the photo on the front of memorial program

PS--what the hell is up with Kegseth's hair these days? Between the ever-widening blond streaks and the gallons of oil, it looks as if someone has plowed furrows into his head.

Lisa Bieber's avatar

That's where the stupid seeds go

michellefromchicago's avatar

Maybe he’s getting a bit carried away in his $10,000 makeup studio in the Pentagon…

rlritt's avatar

So true. I laugh everytime.

Susan Niemann's avatar

I just love that! 😂

Cheryl ODonnell's avatar

I lie in wait for the skateboard-to-nuts. The joy is everlasting! Just wish it would explode. Please!

Norma's avatar

I had to lol at the trump shrine. It’s roped off like it’s some priceless artifact 🙄

Susan Niemann's avatar

Right. As Kay said... "But it's not a cult". 🤷🏼‍♀️