this week in stupid: August 9 edition

buffalo: 1, hunter: 0, and so much more...

Aug 09, 2025

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

monday: look who he’s asking

pour one out for bear cub carcass aficionado Bobby Brainworms Jr., he’s learning that being a jester in the Mad King’s court is hard.

“we have full support from the president. he wants this done. he wants — he promised to make American healthy again, and he’s gonna do that. he called me last night. he calls me three or four times a week and says, ‘where are you? why aren’t people healthier yet?’ so he’s keeping me under pressure.”

really? the porcine twatwaffle who believes exercise is bad for you is phoning up the whale-chainsawing crackpot who doesn’t understand how germs work and hectoring him about ‘it’s been ten minutes, where’s all the health you promised?’

why do I find this scenario totally believable? because this is what government looks like when everyone in it is a fucking clown, that’s why.

I have a suggestion. why don’t you buffoons just get some Heritage Foundation nitwit to make a chart that says “HEALTHY!” with a line going up, and announce to reporters that health is solved.

isn’t that how you get rid of all your other problems? by imagining them away? trust me, the press will go right along with it.

tuesday: instant you-know-what

sometimes it’s the headline that’s worth a thousand words, so let’s just sit back and enjoy the shit out of this one.

over to you, Nelson Muntz.

and now over to you, John Lennon.

wednesday: oh please shut the fuck up, already

let’s see how few words I can use to explain this whole Sydney Sweeney manufactroversy, because it’s so fucking stupid that it’s not worth the brainpower to do a deep dive.

American Eagle put up some ads featuring a photo of MAGAfied actress Sydney Sweeney with the headline “Sydney Sweeney has great jeans.”

get it? get it? great jeans, great genes.

bueno for you, American Eagle.

the tiresome thing that happened next is that the wingnut howler-monkey ecosystem pretended that “liberals” were outraged because the ads promoted “eugenics,” or some such fever-swamp bullshit. then the wingnuts worked themselves into a ginormous hissy-fit over the faux outrage they claimed was coming from the left, and the whole thing exploded all over Fox News and Newsmax.

it’s so fucking dumb — but all you really need to know is that no ginned-up ‘scandal’ is complete without the most-useless pantload on the airwaves weighing in.

I’m talking, of course, about Fox News found object Jesse Watters.

“you know how this ends? Sydney Sweeney is going to marry Barron Trump and it’s going to create the greatest political dynasty in American history.”

once again, this is way too much information.

we don’t need to know that this is what Jesse Watters fantasizes about. we don’t need to know that he goes home and makes his Darth Vader and Princess Leia dolls kiss while going ‘oh Sydney, you’re so hot’ and ‘I want you so much, Barron.’

Jesse, please, we beg of you. go back to openly wishing that Dear Leader was your daddy. somehow, that’s far less creepy.

thursday: the continuing adventures of Dildo J. Trump Jr.

oh look, the worst fucking people in the world have found a new way to call attention to their dumb-ass shitwaddery. they’re throwing green dildos onto the court during WNBA games. no, really..

why are they doing this? who knows? do the worst fucking people in the world really need a reason to do any of the stupid misogynistic bullshit they get themselves up to?

all you need to know is that no hateful bid for attention is complete until Cokey McSniffles Jr. gets involved.

oh look, Cokey’s abusive father is throwing a green dildo from the roof of the White House down onto where a women’s basketball game is taking place. I guess it’s on the that parking-lot abomination where the Rose Garden used to be?

don’t ask me, I’m not the AI that generated it.

give it up, Junior. your father is never going to love you, no matter how many stupid-ass memes you post.

friday: I want you — to hate

is there no hallowed institution that these fuckweasels won’t drag out back to the gravel pit and shoot in the face? the answer, of course, is a resounding no.

remember good old Uncle Sam, as depicted by the artist James Montgomery Flagg? he wanted YOU.

basically, he wanted you to punch the shit out of Nazis.

no more. now, Uncle Sam literally wants you to be a Nazi.

oh great. Uncle Sam has taken off his red, white and blue top hat and replaced it with an ICE cap. presumably, he’ll be putting a mask over his face next.

here comes ICE Sam, pouring out of the back of a rent-a-truck and tackling some hapless immigrant in a Home Depot parking lot.

look what other Nazi-level shit your government has been up to lately.

“Serve your country! Defend your culture! No undergraduate degree required!”

“defend your culture.” racism doesn’t get much more racist than that.

exactly what ‘culture’ are we defending here? is it throwing green dildos at women? is that the precious culture we need to preserve from the influence of swarthy foreigners?

you know who else was really big on defending their pure-white culture from the influence of swarthy foreigners, don’t you? of course you do.

saturday: ?

hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.

do you have a nomination for This Week in Stupid? email me at jefftiedrich@gmail.com. thanks!

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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