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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shitβ€”

the Senate confirmed Dear Leader's personal ambulance chaser to be Attorney General at 4:30 IN THE MORNING. talk about committing fuckery in the dead of night

https://x.com/MeidasTouch/status/2086036008643309793

Wendy The Druid πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸŒˆ's avatar

Senate confirmed Donald Trump's personal lawyer to run the Justice Department at 4:34 in the morning, 50-49, then fled town for five weeks.

that same week: 23,000 jobs gone, wages at a five-year low, two-thirds of the country saying the GOP has wrecked the grocery bill.

No affordability bill. no hearing. a recess.

Meanwhile every candidate who ran on rent is winning primaries β€” the DSA is on track for five seats, up from two.

To the GOP I say: You did this to yourselves, you spineless clock-dodging shit-weseals.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/what-survives-the-morning-another-week-that-wont-sit-down-2d2398dcba465b14

Also, is Mcconnell dead yet?

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Like this plant I have on my desk at work, Mitch is in a liminal state between life and death. As for what's coming in November--this is a chance for them to show manliness via accepting failure and defeat.

Lois Henry's avatar

Not gonna happen. They’ll fight elections every inch of the way. Denying that Trump lost in 2020 is the prequel.

Clint Opine's avatar

In the immortal words of Mitch McConnell, "Never say die!" hee hee hee

DJ Headthrob's avatar

Surely you jest.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

On the plus side Trump's voter suppression bill is still dead in the water despite the performative MAGAt Senators who insisted on "no vacation" until it passed.

Claudia Montague Wheatley's avatar

I came here to say that.

"Marked Safe from the SAVE Act"β€”for this year's elections.

Next year? you can bet Trump will dig it up again. Let's make sure Republicans don't hold the majority in Congress anymore.

Tracy S's avatar

That reminds me of vintage Saturday Night Live when it was announced on the news that "Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead"!

rlritt's avatar

So in every election there will three candidates Republican, Democrat and Democratic Socialist?

Tracy S's avatar

Nope, DS is taking the Dems back to where we should be, instead of "Republican Lite".

rlritt's avatar

Im sorry I dont know what that means. My congressman is terrific and devoted to his constituents and thats important because all politics is local.

My governor is definitely a bourgeois Democrat and that's fine with me because the issues that he fosters are important to me and he hates Trump and is always rattling his cage, which I love.

Jackie's avatar

More like MAGA, Dem & DSA.

DeBurgh's avatar

The Republican Party has been renamed The Trump Party.

Claudia Montague Wheatley's avatar

Tucker Carlson and MTG are threatening Republicans with a MAGA-focused spin-off, too.

So there might be FOUR.

If only the future of this great nation weren't at stake in these midterms, we could pop some corn and really enjoy the resulting Demolition Derby for Democracy.

rlritt's avatar

That would great. At this point all we can do is laugh, otherwise we'd crying all the time. You bring the popcorn and I'll get the beer.

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastardπŸ’™'s avatar

McConnell is dead, full stop.

So is Rep Neal Dunn, who's staff apparently can't even bother to pretend that he isn't pushing daisies.

Stephen Brady's avatar

Well he has been referred to the NY Bar for possible discipline… He could still become the first AG to be disbarred while in office.

Noel's avatar

As they should. Why haven't they done this already?

Stephen Brady's avatar

If it is anything like doctor discipline before state medical boards, it will take forever.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

true. I think it look three years for Rudy Giuliani to be disbarred

HI2thDoc's avatar

And longer for him to pay up to Shaye and Ruby

Lairbo's avatar

We don't know for sure who wrote that check but, I'm guessing his name rhymes with "tusk".

Steve in SoCal's avatar

It wouldn't matter, as the USAG doesn't need to hold a bar card or to even have attended law school. Same thing for SCOTUS justices.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

True story: When Ed Meese was appointed AG by Reagan, he walked into a small neighborhood library here (La Mesa) and asked the librarian: "Do you have any books about the U.S. Attorney General? I need to know what they do."

Steve in SoCal's avatar

He's still alive, in his mid-90s

Bethie U's avatar

Who the hell writes these job descriptions??? Aw, why bother? Not one of these "appointees" have any qualifications whatsoever.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

In a sane universe Congress would vote based on merit, not abject toadyism.

Stephen Brady's avatar

But he is only 52. When he gets out he will be 54 or 55. Likely he'll want to work for a few more years...

Steve in SoCal's avatar

You don't need a bar card to be a lobbyist, either πŸ˜‰

Stephen Brady's avatar

C'est vrai Γ§a!

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Exactly Stephen, the death threats from the malodorous codpiece MAGA supporters continue to undermine our Republic.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

We can dream, can't we? A fitting end for Todd Blanche: Superstar.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Senate cucks Cornyn and Cassidy showed their profiles in cowardice and groveling by voting for the most unsuitable AG (yes, even more than Perjury Pam) in US history. After Fat Fuck primaried them, and they have no more need of his approval, they still did his evil bidding. History will judge them justifiably as the weakest, most corrupt, pathetic creatures with no probity or self-respect.

Mingo's avatar

These people have lost sight of why they went into government service in the first place. They've chosen money and greed over the Constitution and their constituents. You're right they had nothing to lose except their self-respect and they couldn't even manage to hang onto that. That's what cowards do. Make bad decisions at 430 am and cut and run. I hate them all.

rlritt's avatar

I think some went into office for the access to money and power.

rlritt's avatar

No, I think a lot of them went in it for the money and power. Especially the Republicans.

Rachel C's avatar

This vote is what will enable their future employment in lobbying πŸ‘Ή

Angie Longenecker's avatar

They went to Congress precisely for money and greed.

DeBurgh's avatar

They make it clear they are working for the Trump Family now. Not for us. Helping them steal money from us. They sold their balls to crooks.

US Blues's avatar

Don’t forget the cowards Tillis and Susan β€˜fake concern’ Collins. Disgusting cowards!

rlritt's avatar

Collins didnt vote for Blanche. She was one of 2 Republicans who didnt. They had to give her an out or she would absolutely lose her seat. And that cant afford that.

Joyce's avatar

They performed their performances so that there could be much clucking and scratching about their "breaking with" Donnie Demento (and therefore no discussions about any actual news of importance), and then just did what they always do--fall in line and make their Dear Leader happy. I did hear Quack Cassidy make a noise about "being concerned" about Blanche; however, as with Quacker's "concern" about RatFuck Kennedy, he just went right ahead and voted for one of the all-time most corrupt lawyers in the known universe.

Angie Longenecker's avatar

He’s like the male Susan Collins. I wonder if they are related.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ignoble poltroons one and all!

DJ Headthrob's avatar

History will bitch-slap the lot of 'em--"with great prejudice."

Cheri Collins's avatar

I can’t come up with any words, just 🀬🀬🀬🀬🀬🀬🀬🀬🀬🀬

HI2thDoc's avatar

Shitstain Blanche must be all smiles

He will use his corrupt wiles

To issue dictums

That ignore the victims

And shield the pedophiles

Angie Longenecker's avatar

Cassidy said he voted to confirm Todd the Toadie because the next nominee could be worse. β€œDemocracy” is so wonderful.

John Rumble's avatar

At which point he could block him too. A festering ball kissing blot on western civilization

Brett Beiner's avatar

Yep. I woke up to that alert. Everything that happens from here on out is the fault of Bill Cassidy. He should lose his law license for confirming Bobby Brainworms. The rest of Cassidyβ€˜s life he needs to be hounded by people reminding him of his un-American, cowardly exit to the Senate. Never forget his fucking name and that he was complicit.

Tad Huckabee's avatar

Cassidy caved. What's he got to lose?

PAUL's avatar

Lobbying gigs

P123Sunny's avatar

How can they face their colleagues β€˜across the alleged aisle”…

P123Sunny's avatar

Oh that’s right - he’s the greatest thing that ever happened to them - got it

Angie Longenecker's avatar

No integrity. Nothing bothers them or would stir their conscience. They have no morals, scruples or ethics. Throw the bums out!

They all voted to hold Fauci in contempt.

Tracy S's avatar

His personal mouthpiece.

rlritt's avatar

Did someone vote for Mitch McConnell. I read something that another knew hiw he would and cast his vote. Is that true?

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

No. There is no such thing as "proxy voting" in the Senate. The final vote was 50-49.

P123Sunny's avatar

Boozman(?) Isn’t that against their Rules? They didn’t even allow virtual voting during Covid in the Senate - amirite

PollyP's avatar

It was for a committee vote which in some cases is legal, but this one didn't pass the smell test so no votes from McConnell.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I. Fucking. Hate. These. Thuggish. Racist. Thieves.

Mike Hammer's avatar

They’ve been here since this country was founded. We just see them more now.

Michael Guenon's avatar

Yes, I grow weary of the protestations of how it was in the early republic and beyond. It is at hyper speed now and all sense of shame has been sacrificed by an entire political party. But from the beginning we have had a current running through our culture that promotes the possessive individualβ€”me, myself, and I.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Precisely why they obsess about helping others. Quasi-religious devotion to selfishness and acquisition.

Ann Anderson's avatar

And they're in charge.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

In charge, yet living in fear Ann!

rlritt's avatar

The miracle of the internet.

HH Mohr's avatar

Donny's creed is greed.

RZolu's avatar

That’s kinda like my No Kings protest sign: Just GREED in large red letters…

HH Mohr's avatar

You go, RZolu!

the G in GOP stands for greedy.

CL Tee's avatar

I hate them MORE.

Cyndi's avatar

Notice that the felon is using the lower "emergency" door on the plane. He's increasingly unable to manage stairs...

Douglas Mackay's avatar

Is there any way to replace those stairs used to go up to the plane with an escalator set on β€˜down’? That would be hilarious.

Cyndi's avatar

I usually imagine a collapsing staircase like an old-fashioned fun house, but a down escalator would be great too.

Maggie&Lefty's avatar

Yeah… but it’d have to be a gold one

HH Mohr's avatar

A tacky brass escalator, all the way down. The devil won't like it.

Cathy Rady's avatar

Just wait until he gets the bright idea of using Viking women (who were detained by ICE) to carry him up and down any ramps and stairs that he encounters.

Don A in Pennsultucky's avatar

Sean O'Mara doesn't seem to understand that animals don't have to wipe their butts because they don't have ass cheeks on both sides.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Or, excepting the primates, prehensile hands

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The gold nugget presented by Burghum was meant to illustrate the amazing color and consistency of the wondrous poops Shitler could achieve if he followed his dietician's guidelines.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

I always thought bears dragged their backsides up and down trees because they didn't have toilet paper.

Don A in Pennsultucky's avatar

My Labrador Retriever has been seen β€œscooting” along the ground but I think that’s just because something back there itches.

Cathy Schmidt's avatar

That’s just in tv commercials

Orangeshitstain's avatar

Is it true that Vegas odds has emperor Von Shitzinpants croaking off this weekend?

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

really? got a link to that?

Wendy The Druid πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸŒˆ's avatar

There is also a bet for: Will Trump Create a 250 Dollar Bill With His Name and Face on it?

Cyndi's avatar

Probably created so the thieves in the inner circle can make a fortune off knowing the answer already.

rlritt's avatar

I couldnt find it on Kalshi

rlritt's avatar

Im sorry, Wendy. I meant the survey that predicted Mr Trump's demise?

Thanks for this, though. I don't doubt in a million years that he would put his fat face on our currency. And I was sure it would be a bill that was too large to set on fire.

Can you imagine the fires we'd have burning if he put his stupid mug on a dollar bill!

Wendy The Druid πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸŒˆ's avatar

not on Kalshi, Orange.

https://kalshi.com/tag/donald-trump

However, what is on there is

Will Trump Buy At Least Part of Greenland?

rlritt's avatar

No, I couldn't find it.

It wont matter anyway, we'll just have another Republican asshole. Look at all the Republicans in the Senate. There is more they came from.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Hopefully greed monkeys Jr and Eric (Uday and Kusay) knock him off for the profit

Richard Von Busack's avatar

What's the over/under?

HI2thDoc's avatar

For the second week, here goes:

Jeff's TWIS

Tries to summarize this mess

We're constantly vexed

By what bullshit comes next

Tomorrow is anyone's guess

Steve in SoCal's avatar

Note to Dr. Sean

If you don't wipe your asshole

Stay away from me

HI2thDoc's avatar

The entire regime

Is a consortium of

Big unwiped assholes

Martha Howell's avatar

Maybe he's Patient Zero for the cyclosporiasis outbreak.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Raymond Chandler used to live in La Jolla!

Was the Loch Ness Monster actually Jack the Ripper?

Another really stupid week for USA decadence. Seeing that cat-barfed hairball atop Cherished Leader's vacant noggin made me remember an incident in Reid Fleming, The World's Toughest Milkman comics where the impotent boss Mr. O'Clock is rocking an Elvis toupee. He tells Reid "It's made from pony tales in Irkutsk!" Reid thinks "From one horse's ass to another."

Lairbo's avatar
2hEdited

Theodore Geisel, aka "Dr. Seuss", was another longtime La Jolla resident.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Meteorologists are predicting the Super El Nino coud bring monsoon level rains this winter. This could cause the Marine Room in La Jolla to flood again, which it does every 7-10 years.

Michelle Kenoyer's avatar

It disgusts me how our country's leaders are becoming more and more like North Korean supplicants every day. :(

vorpal 86...47...Κ°α΅˜α΅— Κ°α΅˜α΅— Κ°α΅˜α΅—'s avatar

Little children aren't fooled: 'Daddy, look! Funny hair!'

Australian aborigines aren't fooled: 'WIG! Ahahahahahaha! WIG!'

HI2thDoc's avatar

What is that thing on his head

Some small animal that's dead?

He musta felt

That that roadkill pelt

Was nice, Ms Natalie said

Mingo's avatar

Did that roadkill come from Bobby Brainworm?

Cyndi's avatar

Throw head back in laughter, indeed!

Andrea Jennings's avatar

Dodgy move in a wig though.

Angie Longenecker's avatar

Daddy, the emperor has no clothes.

Mike Hammer's avatar

Watters is hiding something and I think we all know what that is. There’s irrefutable scientific evidence that homophobes react strongly when presented with erotic homosexual video. Let’s ask him to take the test at NYU. It involves only a chair, a movie, a tape measure and an electrodermal monitor. πŸ˜‚

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Well...I'm throwing away all my toilet paper and buying a large pilgrim smock with large pockets for healthy snacks!

HI2thDoc's avatar

If he could get fat bastard to listen, Natalie Human Printer wouldn't need to tote that diaper bag

Susanna J. Sturgis's avatar

Jeff, how about adding a second challenge: "Where in the World Is Mitch McConnell?"

rlritt's avatar

Okay then why does my dog scoot his butt on my carpet?

Cathy Rady's avatar

what's even worse is when my dog - who apparently likes to swallow hair - semi-delivers a 'dangler'. at which point we just walk and walk and walk, since there's no way I'm letting her back into the house until she's managed to complete the job.

Cathy Wray's avatar

Itchy butt... worms?

Cathy Rady's avatar

or it could be impacted anal glands . . . which, trust me, that's a job that you'd prefer a vet to deal with

Cathy Rady's avatar

because he wants to leave skid marks?

SethTriggs's avatar

It's great being ruled by this decrepit, smelly, racist godking isn't it?

Maladministration 2.0. is like the flame attracting all the inane cranks of the world. Does Sean O'Mara compare notes with Mengele-without-a-medical degree? Like do they have bathroom sessions where they share the same stall or something?

Joyce's avatar

Well, to be honest, that photo does seem to show that Little Marco Big Shoes fell asleep during his own speechifying, too.

Terry O''s avatar

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Were they all dropped on their heads at birth?

Lairbo's avatar

Unsupervised early adolescent readings of Ayn Rand taken as the revelation of Great Truth, and misinterpretations of Lord of the Flies ("Piggy was weak, he had it coming.") have always been high on my list of explanations.

P123Sunny's avatar

Struggling to appear relevant sadly