this week in stupid: August 8 edition

the cabinet pigs out, Dear Leader wigs out, and so much more...

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

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monday: if you’ve seen one orb, you’ve seen them all

this week, the Space Nazi purposely crashed one of his janky rockets onto the surface of the Moon, where it went all ’splodey — because, apparently, getting to pull shit like that is a perk of being the world’s richest asshole.

but the crowning moment of dumbfuck came when NASA’s official response was pretty much to shrug, and be all, ‘come on, it’s just the Moon.’

NASA Administrator Jared Isaacman: “it’s not a big deal right now. the Moon has clearly seen better days.”

the Moon has clearly what?

it’s an airless rock. when has it seen better days?

when there were Amazon Women on it?

okay, I’ll admit it — that shit ruled.

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tuesday: how to lose a war in one easy lesson

you know who’s definitely seen better days? Fox News’ found object Jesse Watters, that’s who.

“we whipped Iran and now they’re about to surrender… right now they’re negotiating over a few minor details in the strait… administrative fees.”

spoiler alert: none of the word-adjacent noises that just tumbled out of Jesse Watters’ giggling mouth have even a passing acquaintance with the truth.

we haven’t whipped shit. Dear Leader’s unwinnable don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran is at a stand-still right now. the only reason we’re not currently wasting more missiles is because we’ve run out of them. gone. depleted.

that’s what happens when you take a piss-drunk weekend chat show host who hasn’t a single clue about what the fuck he’s doing, and put him in charge of an entire military.

you know who should be heading the Pentagon right now? those Amazon women, that’s who. these wily warriors kicked our asses on the Moon. I’m sure they could settle Iran’s hash in no time.

you tell ’em, Queen Lara.

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wednesday: THAT’S WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION

speaking of kicked asses, you know what else has seen better days? the White House dietician’s butt, is what I’m guessing.

“When you start eating healthy, you don’t need toilet paper,” he claimed. “Animals in the wild have no residual stool on their anus.” He described a proper bowel movement to me this way: odorless, wipe-free, over in three to seven seconds and “nearly orgasmic.”

what. the fuck. did we all just read.

that quote is indeed from Dr. Sean O’Mara, the bro who has been advising Donny’s sewer clowns on what foods they should be eating. apparently, according to O’Mara, if you have to wipe your ass, you’re pooping wrong.

I have the same question I always have: where do they find these people? every goddamned person in the Donnyverse is a crackpot lunatic. you can start at the top, with the ignorant moron who thinks magnets stop working when they get wet.

then there’s the gin-pickled embarrassment over in the Pentagon, who should be spending less time obsessing over the testosterone levels of his warfighting warfighters, and more time, y’know, counting missiles — because it’s very fucking hard to win a war when you don’t have any.

don’t even get me started on the bear-carcass-kidnapping measles enthusiast who keeps a chainsaw in the trunk of his car, just in case he runs across any whales who need their heads liberated from their bodies.

and now you can add to the mix some quack who literally thinks his shit don’t stink.

every single one of these rat bastards should be replaced by an Amazon woman.

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thursday: ugh. just ugh.

here’s one more thing that’s seen better days: hate-spewing Nazi pinheads.

Far-right pastor Dale Partridge: “[Germany] was attacked from within by grossly immoral Jewish forces during the Weimar Republic…. it shouldn’t shock any of us that Jews play a wildly disproportionate role in this attack on German culture and morals. Hitler’s attack on the Jews didn’t come out of thin air.”

holy fucking shit.

let me point out that I’ve had to directly embed that video clip into this post. if I’d made it into a YouTube file first, YouTube would have deleted it — and then penalized me for posting hate speech. that’s how over-the-top this garbage is.

I just can’t believe that while we’re fighting the Civil War all over again, we now at the same time have to fight World War II all over again. it’s all just so eternally exhausting.

pro tip: if you find yourself rationalizing anything that Hitler did, guess what: you’re on the wrong fucking side.

I don’t even have an appropriate Amazon Women gif for this hateful shit.

let’s just palate cleanse with Piss-Drunk Pete flipping a skateboard up into his own nuts.

ah, that’s so much better.

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friday: the further adventures of Some Fucking Idiot™

on Friday, some fucking idiot had just one item on his public agenda — a ‘Roundtable on American Mining.’ I guess the fucking idiot imagines he’s going to make coal-belching pollution great again.

oh look, the fucking idiot is back to rocking that ludicrous hairpiece.

does the fucking idiot not realize that wearing a thick slab of fur atop his big, dumb pumpkin head makes him look that much more idiotic?

the Blatant Bestowing of the Bribes™ has now become a ritualized part of every one of the fucking idiot’s public appearances.

the fucking idiot is so proud of himself for being a thieving shitwad.

as usual, the fucking idiot did no preparation in advance, and therefore hadn’t a single clue what he was talking about.

and, as always now happens whenever the fucking idiot goes out in public, he fell fast asleep the very second Liddle Marco Big-Shoes started talking.

when it was over, all the fucking idiot’s flunkies clapped and clapped and clapped and clapped and clapped, until he had left the room, because nobody wanted to be ratted out for insufficient worship.

tell me, does that remind you of anything?

afterwards, on his way to spend the weekend at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery, the fucking idiot was careful to avoid the press.

I guess the fucking idiot didn’t want anyone asking him about the desiccated badger pelt he had hot-glued to his fat, waterlogged head.

and, because the fucking idiot kept himself far away from the reporters, not one of them had the opportunity to stand up and ask, ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

how fucking idiotic is that?

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and now, let’s put a close to This Week in Stupid and have us some Daily Claudia.

here’s a triptych of Katie and her mom at the Marine Room in La Jolla, California, on March 20, 2025.

have a non-stupid Saturday, everyone.

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do you have a nomination for This Week in Stupid? email me at jefftiedrich@gmail.com. thanks!

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.