79 Comments
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Lairbo's avatar

Do all of Trump's lawyers aspire to running a Cinnabun in Omaha?

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SPW's avatar

Do you think that ANY of the defendant’s lawyers could even do that? So far, none of those who have chosen to stick to the mud on one of his golf spikes, have come across as smart enough to remove themselves from a shower of rain.

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Lairbo's avatar

I said, "aspire to" not "capable of".

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D.Allen's avatar

😂😂😂I couldn’t help myself. I’m trying to stop emoji use. From now on...I will aspire to stop. 😂 ok starting now!

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🌷IntheHalloftheMtnKing's avatar

It's all good man!

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Openly Fae's avatar

The real terror is that Drumpf may not be the worst the GQP can dig up, but holy shit, not for lack of trying.

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George A. Polisner's avatar

Thank you Jeff.

Trump will hopefully soon learn prison is 99% committing crimes and 1% Moscow Tower aspiration. I only hope something similar is on its way for all of his co-conspirators and accessories after the fact.

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Sarah's avatar

The stupidest of stupid is the MEDIA and they are at it again. Spending hours and hours of our precious time smashing dirt-wad trump in our faces, day in and day out. Everything, always, 24/7, the fake, rotten, criminal ex-president (still unbelievable!!!) getting all the press and all the headlines. Something must be done about this continual emergency! Once again, I am pleading for the Democrats to put together a brilliant think tank of creatives to combat the scourge of the orange flesh eating zombie. All these historians, producers, directors, writers, constitutional experts, real lawyers, futurists, linguists, psychologists, etc. should be gathering to confront the problem of our democracy slipping away. We need them to create effective plans to grab the attention back from the precipice of the greedy media and it’s enablers.

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Sarah's avatar

I haven’t made my idea very clear. Whoever pulled together the January 6th Congressional committee media presentation needs to help the DNC, democratic voters and Biden. These people need to join with psychologists, cult experts, linguists, writers, producers, commercial and non-profit advertising geniuses, film makers, historians, Laurence Tribe, Jamie Raskin and the likes, etc. and together formulate a real plan! It’s so much more than just finding the right head of the DNC, it’s putting together a plan of attack that the media will buy in and promote on their platforms.

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Karen Livolsi's avatar

I totally get it and agree. This needs a fully formulated action. A reset if you will. Now. Not after the election, not after Trump’s J6 trial, Right Now. Shove it in the msm microphones, education, finance, tax mega churches, no voucher system. Impossible to ignore and the muscle to put our money where our mouths are. Strong, visible and vocal. 24/7

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Ema's avatar

Since he was made Chairman of the DNC, I have been saying Harrison is not the right person for this moment in time - this moment in history. Remove him and get a Meidas Touch type into that position. He has failed us. He doesn't even like to travel and people don't even know who the DNC Chairman is - but ask them who the RNC Chair is and they'll know. Please Democrats - stop "going high" when they "go low" and get someone who knows how to fight. I'm even thinking Marcus Flowers who ran against MTG. He's a fighter!

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Janine Johnston's avatar

I agree! I think that’s the core problem for the Democrats. You need a really strong person in that roll. I think Maxwell Frost is a person the democrats should be looking at. He’s the future of the party and they aren’t going to settle for status quo. I’m a boomer and get so frustrated sometimes (especially with DNC in Florida, where I live). Do we need to stoop to the antics of the chaos party? No, but we need to take some of the blame for letting it perpetuate by not calling out the media etc.

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Ema's avatar

And... we need to take some of the blame for not acting on Tubberville's hold on military promotions. Schumer should have canceled this long recess and made everyone stay and start the going one by one approvals. You know McConnell would have had it been a Democrat he was Speaker. I guess I'm tired of the "good guy" which is translating into weakness. If he had canceled the recess for Senators who are trying to campaign in their home districts - I'm thinking more GOP would have gotten behind ending this.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

You need to punch them in the face. Harrison and the Dem consultant class are worthless.

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P123Sunny's avatar

How about Beto?

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

"Republicans" own the media. But they do seem to be thinking that Hunter is running for prez on occasion when not having their Trump boner. 🙄

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Sandy Simmons's avatar

Loved it! You and Dan/Elliot are all I can read these days. We’re in a Groundhog Day theme of trump Prime Time and I’m signed out. Only this time, we have to be as crazy as he is to go for his lies again after years of his and his republicans’ anarchy and crazy. The pretzel description very true, except to add that he twists our entire country, Constitution and laws into a pretzel to get anything he wants, which unbelievably has worked well for him. We’re one election away from Nazi Germany.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

The US has been looking like Germany, 1933 for a while now…..I pray to God your election prediction does not come true!

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Sandy Simmons's avatar

Republicans knock themselves out to brag about every right they want to take away from everyone. How could it turn out otherwise.

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Catherine Creecy's avatar

Once more, you save the best for last, and once more, the best is Puddin’fingers De Santis.

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Ema's avatar

If we, as non-candidates keep seeing examples of DeSantis rubbing snot fingers on voters - surely his campaign or even America's Karen, Casey DeSantis would alert him to this nasty habit and end it! Ugh!

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Catherine Creecy's avatar

It is repugnant, remarkably so. It’s as if De Santis’ contempt for people, his indifference to them as individuals, just seeps out of everything he does, as if he can’t help showing it. A good thing if that stops him in his tracks, in spite of all the coaching and primping the Empress of Tallahassee can do.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

Walmart Melania.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

What a grotesque individual.

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Kerry Truchero's avatar

It’s quiz time! Close your books and take out your pencils! Here’s the question. Who is Denny Hastert and why doesn’t anybody talk about him? I’ll collect your papers. Time’s up! The answer is: He was the longest serving Republican Speaker of the House in American history! And, also, a convicted pedophile who preyed on the young boys he coached in wrestling! Why is this important? Because you don’t hear the Democrats using actual true facts to smear an entire political party with immorality. No, Democrats just let it go. But Republicans? They make up wild pizza parlor basement sex stories and accuse the entire Democratic Party of sponsoring sex trafficking just because they can. And because they’re fucking awful.

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

The Republican owned media doesn't amplify Republican moral and ethical failings.

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Kerry Truchero's avatar

No, they don’t. But Democrats seldom punch back. Or at least, very few do.

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Perry Lundon's avatar

Somehow these faithful residents of Trumplandia want to have official proceedings where under oath with immunity Donny can lie his ass off on tv and many will see it as honest congressional investigation that aids the Big Lie. Wonder if the Dems on the committee will just sit on their hands and not ask Donny any hard questions, I doubt it. Donny would likely come across as the lying ass that he is and nothing will be accomplished other than theatrics of the ongoing House Repub shit show.

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Lesley Zimmermann's avatar

I think you made a mistake, Jeff. You asked what makes DeSaster a winner but didn’t you mean WIENER??

Also: HunterBidenHunterBidenHunterBiden. Get used to it, it’s all we’re gonna hear from the Republicans for the next year. I admit it - even if he didn’t break the law, Hunter’s shenanigans stink and he’s brought an unwelcome sheen of corruption to his daddy’s re-election campaign. Thanks, junior!

Hate *what about-ism,*, but remember Jared Kushner? Days after he leaves the White House, the butcher of Saudi Arabia gives him $2 billion dollars. Because of his vast experience of running a hedge fund? (Nah.) His stellar performance in the market? The same butcher that bailed Jared out of his building boondoggle? The same butcher behind the murder and dismemberment of Jamal Khashoggi?

What about THAT??

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Chet Brandt's avatar

The Dems should be pushing this story 24/7!

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Lesley Zimmermann's avatar

Of course they should. But I’ve given up on the Dems doing anything but rolling over and playing dead. Hakim and Chuck are letting Trump control the narrative AGAIN. I can’t take another year of this.

The only reason I’m still watching/listening to political shows is for news of the indictments; I don’t want to miss a perp walk.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

I am trying to be optimistic but the Dems have to take the gloves off and stop playing nice!!! In addition, I hope the judge allows cameras in the quart room during one of the federal trials.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

Court room….

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Another excellent piece...I laughed all the way till I got to the DeSantis Boogers-EWWW.

DEAR GOD! Make these people go far away! Thanks, Jeff!

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

picking his nose and wiping his hand on whatever or whoever is nearby seems to be a thing DeSantis does all the time. I'll bet you didn't need to know that.

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Gail Bauman's avatar

And he eats PUDDING with those fingers! 😱

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😳😳😳😳😳😳 He's gross....and Hitler all over again.

Keep up your outstanding work...you and Jay Kuo are all I devour!

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Karen Livolsi's avatar

Member of Noseminers Local #666, located in Itsnot, FL.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂 Thats perfect!

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Lisa's avatar

My fucking iq dropped just watching these cretinous little boys whine!🤦🏻‍♀️

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Sharyn's avatar

What a clown car of a party...thanks for the laugh

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Flower Child's avatar

Deceased.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

Lauro definitely puts the ass in aspirational. Does Charlie Kirk's Mommy cut his hair? So many blithering idiots, so little time. Praeger can just kiss my ass. That about covers it.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

Forgot all about Neanderthal De Santis. A fascist and a pig!

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Tama2U's avatar

Charlie, Neanderthals are kind of offended that you would compare them to the bobbleheaded booger reptilian de snaketis.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

Sorry, Neanderthals.

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Mary Virginia Hughes's avatar

Best thing ever, big fat laughs over big fat idiots for Saturday morning. Good thing Gaetz went into political life where he can be an idiot and there are other idiots who will vote for him because his lawyering skills are too bizarre for words. If this tool were that available to Republicans they would have used this thing a dozen times. Oh, and Matt wants to be appointed attorney general when Trump wins the presidency again. Yep, the pedophile wants to be attorney general. As for aspirational Lauro, he seems to be the one with the real aspirations, like who believes him, especially when we all think he's probably working for free since Trump doesn't pay and all the good lawyers said hell no to representing him. A long list of Republican idiots being idiots today. Laughing about them is like medicine. Otherwise one would be crying every minute. That may come later.

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Susan Linehan's avatar

two thoughts on "aspirational"

1>Aspiration is when something you swallow "goes down the wrong way" and enters your airway or lungs. So there is a sense in which trump's statements just suggest that the election "went down the wrong way."

2> Aspirational: aimed at or appealing to people who want to attain a higher social position or standard of living. Thus: do things my way and you might end up with a cabinet position.

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