348 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I'm sorry, but "Tiger, Tiger, turning right" are the greatest four words I've ever written and I don't care who sees me bragging about it

Miselle's avatar

Jeff, while I was never inside a car, coming to after it was totaled, back in 2018, I was a pedestrian hit by a car. No substances were involved--at least on my part and I have records of the blood tests to prove it. Not that I even recall the blood being drawn, I was unconscious. I don't recall this, either: my husband reports that in the ER, I was coming to, and the doc leaned over and asked me if I knew who the president was. Apparently, I answered "that asshole Donald Trump".

My husband says he knew I'd be alright when he heard me say that.

arne link's avatar

That is a great story. Bravo. Even half-conscious you were lucid enough to give credit where credit was due.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

agreed, it's a great story

Robert Eckert's avatar

When I had an unfortunate argument with a car (I tore the fender off with my leg and broke the windshield with my head: that car won't mess with me again!) I remember lying in the street with a policeman standing over me and asking, What's your name? and Where do you live? and I was acing the cognitive test until he asked Who's the President? and I blurted out "Nixon!" (the correct answer at the time was "Bush") and he was saying into his walkie-talkie "somewhat disoriented" while I was thinking, that wasn't fair springing that on me like that, I know that one, just give me a moment...

Deborah Hunter's avatar

You go girl. Hope you've fully recovered.

Miselle's avatar

I had a mild subdural hematoma and I required some stitches to my forehead. I did have real issues with balance and memory for about a month after. I was hospitalized for three or four days, and the worst of it was I had bone bruising in my arm which was very painful. A really odd occurrence which I am sure many will attribute to my brain injury--I woke in the night and will go to my grave swearing my late father sat in the chair next to my bed. I swear I saw him. Also, I had this indescribable sense of being somewhere--I have no sense of seeing anything, only an awareness, and I can only guess it would be like a person blind from birth having no comprehension of what sight it. In this experience, I felt my fate was being judged, and my late sister was pushing for me to survive. For a week after, I experienced absolute true euphoria. I am sure brain chemicals were involved. I was unable to read--I could read but even a People magazine made no sense--consider a grammar schooler picking up a text on quantum physics. I struggled to follow television show plots. But it was summer, and I'd look at the trees, and the flowers people had sent me, and I was in awe. I am probably among the only ones of my generation that never tried pot or any pharmaceuticals, but I imagine this is what being high must feel like. I felt like all my senses--smell, taste, touch, hearing--everything was dialed up to 11.

Eventually it subsided, but it was something that I will recall forever. It felt like everything was in harmony and made sense--which is not at all what the world feels life right now. It's nice to think about that feeling.

Wendymae's avatar

I had a TBI from a car accident in '99 and had similar experiences but I didn't really function again for a many years. I could not read or watch anything either, and even some music made me nauseous. But you just reminded me that summer, about 6 months in, TCM had a Bowery Boys marathon over multiple weekends and they were the first plots I could follow. For a number of years I could only watch old black and white movies because I couldn't do color and the plots are mostly simpler. They are like comfort food for me still. The mystical/ecstatic experiences I had lying in bed looking at the sky for hours on end were a huge bonus of that time, when everything else was extremely bleak.

Linda Weide's avatar

That sounds awful. I am glad you are doing better Miselle.

Jan Moon's avatar

If it's any comfort, Miselle, People Magazine never did make sense.

Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL! Excellent!!!

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Miselle: The unconscious is at attention 24/7! What a great story - I am happy you were OK.

Diana's avatar

Sorry about your accident ~ but your answer to the ER was freaking funny!!

Everytime something goes wrong - my answer is the humidity and this nightmare part 2!! Usually an F bomb or two included!🤭

Brenda Doherty's avatar

Tiger has been allowed to go unpunished too long for so many offenses. In spite of all of this help, Tiger is the loser.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Yes. He has always been a privileged prima Donna piece of shit. I know someone who dealt with him.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Doc, we are on the same vibe here… but what I don’t understand is why T’s attorney petitioned the court to allow T to seek treatment not in America but in Switzerland and that was granted… if u or I tried the same we would be laughed out of that court… but we are talking Florida here…

HI2thDoc's avatar

Florida is its own universe. I don’t mean to defame any good people who are denizens there but it seems to be a magnet for criminals and shitbags. Any state that counts Drumpf, Bondi, Gaetz, Rubio, An Appalling Lunatic and Governor Death Sentence among its icons is a whacko place

Michael Johnson's avatar

It has been a hot bed for shady shite for as long as I can remember.

In the 1990's it was where numerous pain clinics shipped narcotics all across the country, unabated for many years. Crooks & liars have found it welcome home for long before that.

What's plain to see, since tRump 2.0 took office, virtually everything is now a racket. Seriously. May seem a bold and a wide swath accusation, but especially gov't services and car mechanics! Seems everything is even more "who you know" and how much one can afford. Having a bumbling lifetime racketeer as POTUS, the rackets are thriving.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Yes. The fabled pill mills

Fastball Fredo's avatar

And their senator Rick Scott.. the flim flam insurance rando…

HI2thDoc's avatar

Yeah, how could I forget him. Mr. Medicare fraud. He should be in jail

Kristy Kanen's avatar

I call him Thick Snott . I'm childish that way. 😁

Gail Cohen's avatar

Luckily, I live in the bluest part of FL, Palm Beach County, although unfortunately the shithead lives here, too (the Town of Palm Beach is the only red sliver as it's where the mega- rich live).

Anna Gustafson's avatar

Dave Barry explained it all... And of course there's Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard. I used to laugh reading them, that was before I realized the ramifications of that real alternative reality. Can't seem to pick them up these days. I suppose it because it's all and more, in real time, everyday in the news.

Deb Pierce's avatar

Anna, I loved Carl Hiasson and thought he was hilarious -- until (for some bizarre reason) I moved to SW Florida, and I realized all Hiasson's books were actually non-fiction. Ugh. I hate it here. I'm from Chicago, where it's way less corrupt. Looking at you, Rick Scott.

Brenda Doherty's avatar

I agree and I live here.

Susan Marleau Whelan's avatar

I have had several back surgeries and a a total knee replacement. This past week I had another surgery to open a nerve that was causing pain under the knee that had been replaced. I understand that Tiger Woods has a lot pain. So do I. But I don't drive when I have just taken a lot of pain medication. And I taken a lot in the past, but I have weaned myself off. I'm glad that he is going to get treatment. He really needs it.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Get well soon ❤️‍🩹

Steve in SoCal's avatar

As someone with a 7-level (T11-S1) fusion, I can relate. It took me nearly a year to get off the morphine and fentanyl. The screws and rods make for a cool-looking X-ray, however.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

The CT for my fractured L1 showed I was constipated. Not as cool as screws

& rods ( from taking Tramadol before they gave me Oxycodone.) I broke my back three weeks ago, I've been off all pain meds for almost a week .Bowels back to normal. YAY POOP !

Steve in SoCal's avatar

Opioids are like concrete for your intestines. I only survived by way of Miralax LOL

Susan Marleau Whelan's avatar

I stopped taking the morphine when it stopped working. I know some people just start taking more. Fortunately, I'm not that way. For me, when it stops working on the dose prescribed, I stop taking it.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

Unfortunately, you build a tolerance for it. I started at 30 mg MS-Contin 2x/day, and at the peak right after surgery, I was on 4mg I.V. morphine every 10 minutes, plus a 100 mcg/hr fentanyl patch. It's just the nature of the beast. Pain- (and med-) free now, but it was a long slog.

Susan Niemann's avatar

Watch. He'll go into rehab and come out with Jesus in his back pocket. 🙄

Deborah Hunter's avatar

They always do. I think they think spouting religion gives them a pass for former bad behavior. My ex (I had assumed he'd stopped drinking by his Facebook posts- never talk to him). He didn't find religion, but he started posting motivational posts. This is a total 180 from the man I knew. I didnt believe a word of it. A counselor told me once that if he (ex) had more charm, he would have made a good sociopath. Those leopards never change their spots.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

Exchanging one real addiction for another delusional one.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

He was asking Orange Hitler for a “fine Epstein white piece of ass”. He is a piece of shit with a 5-iron.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Frankly, I'VE always felt a bit sorry for him - feeling that he might never have become a 'famed golfer' had it not been for his father basically steering/forcing(?) him into it as a tiny tot, ending up very alone in the world when that parent died. Perhaps his life would have been good if he'd lived an ordinary life without all the kudos and hours upon hours of 'practice'. I know very little about Vanessa - only that she did some good by kicking junior out of the house and her life, but just imagine being the 'almost' stepfather to frump's grandchildren WHILE being black/asian? YEESH.

arne link's avatar

I feel so sad to see that this golf icon is such a dick in personal life. He has actually done more for the world of golf than anyone else in history. It's just sad.

Linda Weide's avatar

The world of golf is just SAD. Filled with SUCK ASS DADS who would rather play golf than spend time with their families. When I was a freshman at U of Michigan and waitressed in a local restaurant, where we regularly got a group of golfers in. No one wanted to serve them. They would always make sure to spread out across several tables, never more than 5 to a table because in Michigan with 6 or more at a table they had to tip. They did not want to tip, so they spread out and were super demanding and never tipped. We used to call them The Gophers.

HI2thDoc's avatar

And many if not most pro golfers are right wing rich privileged assholes.

Linda Weide's avatar

And most are white and male and might even have voted for Trump because he is a fellow golfer. Tiger falls into the category of being a brown skinned Asian, and that as a category seems to get an exemption from being undesirable in Trump-world. Look at Kash Patel and Vivek Ramaswamy.

HI2thDoc's avatar

SShitler loves non-white cult stooges because he can point to them and say, see? I’m not racist.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Krazy Eyes Kash is on his way out the door, which can’t happen soon enough!

Deborah Hunter's avatar

I don't feel that Vivek or Kash are really accepted in the white world. They haven't done anything outstanding that alot of white men haven't done also. And we revere athletes in this country. Can't think of any Wall Street success that has crowds of people waiting to see him. We usually don't know their name. Tiger, though, is an exception. Golf is a status sport. And he's been the best. That's why his skin color is given a pass.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Golf is a narcissistic sport. Not a team sport. And like others have said, caters to white, wealthy men.

Crystal Hartley's avatar

Speaking of Phil Mickelson, I can't stand him ever since he whined about paying taxes on his $46M in winnings several years ago.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Obviously lousy golfers, the good ones play for $ and are often found at the nineteenth hole, discussing business.

Linda Weide's avatar

We have a lot of family tension around golf. I guess it is coming out here.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

You mean “golf Icahn”. He is a prick.

Susie's avatar

Exactly how I feel.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Won't be the first talented person, whether it be arts, sports, academia that is a real a-hole personally or has an addiction problem. Sometimes you almost wonder if the two go together. But you can stop using and become a decent person. An a-hole is just that. There's no pill or rehab for being a narcissist or a sociopath.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

GOLF IS A MISOGYNISTS PARADISE

Read what George Carlin had to say about it.

Denise Donaldson's avatar

I ask this in all sincerity, because I'm totally ignorant about it, what did Tiger Woods do for the world of golf? Are you just referring to his being a POC and hitting the big time?

Robert Eckert's avatar

Got a lot of kids to try the game who otherwise wouldn't have been interested.

celeste k.'s avatar

who does he remind you of?!

Linda Weide's avatar

Tiger already lost when he was 2 and his dad decided to live his tennis fantasies out through him.

Victoria Wilson's avatar

Yes, I agree. Tiger with all of his talent and skills let a huge ego, sexism, entitlement and misogyny, rule his decision making. He simply cannot get out of his own way. I am guessing that his involvement with Little Donnie FF has not helped with regards to Karma who we all know is a bitch

Linda Weide's avatar

Fortunately Tiger is not relatable. My dad loved golf but he did not take me along to learn it. He took my male cousin instead. I am grateful to have escaped. Tiger was not so lucky.

Matt Gaetz reminds us that all those MAGAs are taking so many drugs they have lost touch with reality. This sounds like a crystal meth hallucination to me. That can turn your brain into looking like you have Alzheimers. I have seen pictures. It is quite scary. My mom has Alzheimers and she has hallucinations too.

I was a fan of Cat Scratch fever when it came out, but it appears that Nugent was describing his own affliction. Now I find the words sickening. Eeeew! https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tednugent/catscratchfever.html

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

I think it was Mark Twain who said that, Golf was a good walk spoiled.

Linda Weide's avatar

Agree. We do not believe that big lawns are best for the environment.

Denise Donaldson's avatar

As I noted above, I know nothing about golf, but this comment I can relate to, Linda.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Maybe P G Wodehouse

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

I found some sites stating it was first quoted in 1948 (well after Twain died), and some stating it was first quoted in 1903 (Twain died in 1910). Some attributed it to Churchill, and some to Oscar Wilde.

Regardless, whoever first spoke or wrote those words was spot on.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

It was British Thoroughbred jockey Sam Loates, “Well, I think it is a good walk spoilt.” Quoted by "The Referee", an Australian sporting journal in 1899. It def does have a "Twain-ism" ring to it though.

CL Tee's avatar

It's the Devil's game.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

I think it was a Scotsman ,actually.

Helen Stajninger's avatar

😂Mark Twain had a saying for everything didn’t he?

John Rumble's avatar

I have never been able to comprehend the fascination with that game (not a sport)

Cathy Wray's avatar

I used to have fun playing golf with a friend. She would drive the cart really fast and I held on for dear life!! ; )

arne link's avatar

I played golf for many years. It's a great opportunity to be out in nature and bond with others. The trick is not to take it seriously. It is not a life or death situation, just a social one.

Linda Weide's avatar

Is playing golf being out in nature?

P123Sunny's avatar

It’s an unintended consequence yes

Susan Niemann's avatar

Arne... I went out for the first time and didn't play...just drank beer and drove the cart. My friend had her first golf lesson that morning. She left a club on a green so I drove her to pick it up...drove the cart ON. THE. GREEN. Oops. No one told me that was a no no. The pro laughed and laughed...

Cheri Collins's avatar

When I was 11, my friend and I set her father’s golf course on fire by playing with torches. Not the whole course, just a swatch after we dropped our bucket of gasoline. We played innocent the next day. We were unsupervised feral children.

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

If done properly, it's a drinking game.

Denise Donaldson's avatar

My one and only experience on a golf course was when I lived on a resort island and one Mother's Day, the local golfers decided to hold a tournament on the island's very basic 9-hole course. There were maybe 5 or 6 foursomes, and a friend and I were elected to drive the beer wagon---a keg mounted on the back of a golf cart. We spent a whole afternoon driving around, responding to calls of, "Beer!" Needless to say, it got very drunk out. After all the teams finished, the tournament continued at a local watering hole. The trophy consisted of an enormous martini glass filled with some flavor of cocktail.

Cathy Wray's avatar

This is the truth!!! We had a great time!!!🏌‍♀️

Steve in SoCal's avatar

I tried it once when I was 14. Took one swing and hit nothing. Next swing, I took a big chunk out of the grass. Said, "Wow, this is totally stupid" and never picked up a golf club again.

P123Sunny's avatar

Tiger, Tiger might disagree

P123Sunny's avatar

The courses are actually beautiful in the early mornings fwiw

Linda Weide's avatar

I am not a fan of groomed lawns. They just look a bit better than what Trump did to the Rose Garden. I do not have a lawn in front of my house, I have wildflowers. A women told me last summer that she loves walking past them because she is from Ukraine and they remind her of a garden she used to walk past growing up. I felt good about that, and the butterflies and bees like them too.

Susan Niemann's avatar

Same here, Linda. Perfectly groomed lawns are such a waste of potential. To be able to go outside and cut a few blooms to bring inside from what you grew...priceless.

Linda Weide's avatar

Susan, I agree. When I see bees buzzing and butterflies hovering, I feel like the flowers provide pleasure beyond species.

Denise Donaldson's avatar

Just so. Our postage-stamp front yard consists of two trees, a few flowering bushes on the edges, a pussy willow up against the porch, and native ground cover throughout. Back yard is also trees and ground cover, with two raised flower beds. No grass anywhere. Also very little maintenance. We got a wildlife habitat designation.

Linda Weide's avatar

Sounds great Denise!

Susan Niemann's avatar

Agree....it's a game. I used to get into it with my ex and his sons about that. They played college golf... a privileged bunch. It's not a sport.

Linda Weide's avatar

Ditto. I also resent that they are connected largely with women's exclusion from the world of making the business deal, even if it is changing it has not changed.

Cathy Rady's avatar

I played a couple of times with my dad.

I thought it was a good excuse for going on a walk while whacking away at a little white ball with a long stick.

Mildly entertaining, but not actually worth the time and expense.

Linda Weide's avatar

Yes. Mini golf it is not. Also, you know who is giving it a bad name as a sport. It has certainly not kept him fit, or perhaps it has and he would be worse off it not for golf.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Dad obviously could peer into the future Linda… my father won multiple state championships in HS, went to college on golf scholarship…scratch handicap, always played from the blue tees until his 80’s… saying one could make more $ in this world, doing other things, yet loved golf, and all the sports he played. Your father chose wisely, knowing the altruistic good you’ve done in this world!

Polly Sears's avatar

I took up golf at 52 years old. Made the NH State Ams. It is a wonderful sport if you have the patience. Now my MS has taken it away. Life sucks ,even more with T!!

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Health issues are pretty awful Polly, I had a hemorrhagic stroke at 49, due to an undetected hole in my heart. I played all sports and worked too hard, now I struggle to walk. I’m sorry to hear of your battle with MS!

247kath's avatar

❤️‍🩹

Linda Weide's avatar

Thanks Patrick!

P123Sunny's avatar

Noted… it is just quite a luxury to have that much tended nature ‘to oneself’, if I’m saying this right

Linda Weide's avatar

I consider lawns a travesty given the amount of water they suck up on a planet where many do not have enough of it to drink. I admit there is grass in my back yard, but it does not get any water other than rain, and it is not here for long.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

When you've got it, flaunt it! I saw one way he was trying to get out of this was to say "I was looking at my phone!" figuring it's better to get a ticket for recklessness than a DUI. That is pretty spinesless though. "I'm the famous Tiger Woods, and I'm schtupping one of the president's more minor daughters. Wait, she's not a minor, though he'd probably be OK if she was." Dave Attel: "Some people look down at drunk driving. We call these people "cops". But sometimes, you have to drive drunk, say, to get the kids to school."

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

It’s Vanessa Trump, Don, Jr.’s ex-wife. Boy, can she pick ‘em or what?

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Cokehead to pill junkie. A-hole to A-hole. At least she's consistent.

Gail Dragoo's avatar

From cocaine to pills and alcohol. Well done, Vanessa!

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Speaking of which - where has loud mouth Jr. been recently? Missing his video air quotes and his verbal nonsense.

Cassandrascat's avatar

War profiteering. With his bio bro.

Leu2500's avatar

he was at the FII summit, ie war profiteering, a couple Fri's ago

Crystal Hartley's avatar

I've noticed that lately, too. Not complaining. Just enjoying his absence.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Kimberly Gargoyle doesn’t know how fortunate she is

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

She's been overspending her ambassador's budget in Greece, I read.

Brenda Doherty's avatar

No, they’re both losers!

HI2thDoc's avatar
5hEdited

To finish Jeff’s verse:

Tiger, Tiger turning right

Driving seems to be his blight

He could hit a golf ball far

But should hire someone to steer his car

Susan Niemann's avatar

Very good. 👏👏👏 😂

Hollie Rood's avatar

Love your limericks Doc👏👏👏😂😂😂

Anne's avatar

it is worth bragging about. Nicely done, sir!

Mike Hammer's avatar

Those words convey the epic scene with humor, nostalgia and verve.

michellefromchicago's avatar

I tip my hat to you, sir! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Ann Anderson's avatar

Can you hear me slow clapping?

E. Bennet Dirigo's avatar

Not every day you can work a William Blake poem into your column.

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Jeff, I went back to imparting wisdom over political bs on the weekends.

Enjoy everyone.

Maybe tell a tree thank you if you see one.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/3-4-2026-mourning-a-loss

Polly Sears's avatar

What a waste of a life-speaking of Tiger. He , like so many who are fortunate enough to earn lots of $, has wasted it, seemingly on drugs, etc.

Wouldn't it be great if everyone who has more than 10 million dollars, donated the rest of their portfolio towards Americans who are hurting! Balance is what the country needs!!

PS. I think I am being generous letting "them" keep 10 million.

Doc Blase''s avatar

And Agolf Shitler are the greatest two.

Cassandrascat's avatar

I’m pretty impressed with Lord Shiticus.

Linda Silfven's avatar

I believe you’re right! One of my favorite poems.

SethTriggs's avatar

I ugly laughed.

John Rumble's avatar

I have posted your reporter challenge on many threads to much acclaim. I have also discovered it also applies to anyone who must endure One of KKKaroline Levitts pressers.

Seriously , what the fuck is the matter with her?

Deborah Hunter's avatar

She's just a nasty piece of work.

Bob's avatar

She’s a grifter.

Wendymae's avatar

Doddering old men make her feel better about herself.

barb's avatar

She's a pathological liar.

Hollie Rood's avatar

Karolying Lievitt is someone, IMO, who was the BIGLIEST bullying bitch in school, believing she was the prettiest and smartest of the “cool girls click with a superior complex beyond eleven. Nice thing is people like her eventually get their comeuppance in all its glory for all to see and experience #Schadenfreude

Dian Larkin's avatar

SERIOUSLY what is wrong with her? - her smugness is super offensive -but lots of people are smug - her shilling for Trump is offensive but it is her job - but it is the fact that she speaks, looks & acts like an a wind up doll that is the most disturbing - I have NEVER seen anyone as emotionally shut down as KKKLevitt - as a mom myself I FEEL for her impending kid

Dian Larkin's avatar

what's super funny is that NOW he is turning on KKKLevitt herself - that might wipe that smug self-satisfaction off her face - he is blaming her for the press hating on him - which I have to say is false - NO ONE is a better or a more obnoxious hype-man for Trump than KKK

Diana's avatar

Drank the kool aid?

Tracy S's avatar

No word of concern from old Miracle Ear about the downed fighter pilot. That tracks with the lies about how our attack on Iran is going.

Karen Williams's avatar

Heard a new one today, courtesy of Rep. Madeleine Dean, when she talked about all the rubble Trump is creating, from the East Wing to Tehran: Rubble in Chief 😂

michellefromchicago's avatar

Old Miracle Ear 👍🏻🤣

patti sepich's avatar

isn’t he the definition of the antichrist with that stunt

Doc Blase''s avatar

Of course no. Lol'd at "miracle ear".

There were two shot down, an A-10 and the F-15. and one airman is missing.

From the picture I saw, that 15 was hit a couple feet forward of the elevators, if that was the same one.

Their poor family.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Why, don't we "control the skies?"

Susan Slesnick's avatar

Just when you think you’ve gotten away with a big ass lie karma hits you in your orange face. Sir, Sir, This war is illegal and people are being killed, aaah what flavor was your pudding cup today?

Polly Sears's avatar

Don't forget his magical Bones, that talk to him!!

Martha's avatar

True, alien crossbreeding explains Matt's forehead

Robert Eckert's avatar

TV's Frank Coniff: "I disagree with those who think Matt Gaetz's plastic surgeon did a bad job. He accentuated the creepy pedo look that has always expressed the inner essence, while preserving the extreme punchability of the face."

247kath's avatar

😂🤣Perfect

Hollie Rood's avatar

💥‼️🥊🥊🥊

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

It was interesting to see Beavis and Butthead follow immediately after his freak photo. He actually looks like both of them wrapped into one.

Janet's avatar

Perhaps a shirttail relative of Max Headroom?

Lin Talbot-Koehl's avatar

The black sheep branch.

Susanna J. Sturgis's avatar

His mug reminds me of George Wallace. Not a pretty sight.

Jane's avatar

And his eyebrows

Wendymae's avatar

I think his friend maybe got confused after watching Orphan Black.

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

I kinda wonder if the American soldiers, marines, sailors, and pilots who get killed or wounded in this war are just going to disappear the way the Japanese did in the second world war. The cabal isn't telling us the truth (we are in a spot where information from Iran is likely more accurate, following the exact blueprint Putin's disastrous war in Ukraine where more than a million Russian dead are whittled to a few thousand). This shit is cracking but not fast enough. I am eager to get to the part where the leaders lock themselves in a bunker and do away with themselves.

Tess's avatar

Currently at 48 hours without electricity due to ice storm on Thursday… but trucks are blocks away so hopefully I will be able to read all comments soon… our small generator is recharging! Have a peaceful weekend everyone!!!

Tess's avatar

Thankful for our fireplace!!!🥶😊

Tess's avatar

YAY!!!! 48 HOURS AND 52 MINUTES LATER…POWER HAS RETURNED!! I CAN FINALLY SEE WHAT I’M DOING! (which was nothing actually!)haha

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ditto Tess, Bon chance with regaining power!

Hollie Rood's avatar

Oh no 🥶🥶🥶!! Sending you warm thoughts and wishes for a speedy recovery of power.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

Something I saw on Nextdoor this morning-lol

"The price of gas is way up but I'm starting to believe the rumors that it's watered down because I have to fill up more often" JC My neighbors are morons.

I was going to say something about Tiger calling his new daddy and Jeff went and did it for me! Thanks Jeff - Now I am off to see Santana tonight at my favorite venue.

Have a safe weekend everyone - and a happy Easter to those that celebrate.

8647 before he kills us all.

Bob's avatar

Santana should be a great show.

If gas has water, the symptom is the car runs like shit, not that you fill up more often.

Mary Hall's avatar

My first concert was Santana in 1972. Tickets were $5.00 which meant ten hours of babysitting at $.50 an hour. I fell in love with live music that night.

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Santa rockin’ the concert hall? Bad ass. 😎

Mary Hall's avatar

LOL -- fixed it! At least I didn't type "Satan."

247kath's avatar

🎅🏼🤘🏼🎸

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Wow l, good first Mary… I’ve seen Carlos many times, with a number of other great musicians, it was my job…

Mary Hall's avatar

Lucky you! My late husband was an executive at ASCAP and we got to go to a lot of music events.

arne link's avatar

No shit? I'm not a mechanic but even I know water and gas don't mix. Duh. Sorry about your neighbors.

Crystal Hartley's avatar

I was 6 when I learned that gas and water don't mix. Don't ask how I found that out. It is a painful memory.

Leu2500's avatar

re watered down. It will be. the regime just OKed selling gas with more ethanol in it.

Kay-El's avatar

This kind of thoughtful illogical bullshit is why I’m no longer on NextDoor. Obligatory “the stupid, it burns”.

Tex237's avatar

Ours has been taken over by Republican candidates.

Rachel C's avatar

Why did they all buy the largest possible vehicle??👹

Hollie Rood's avatar

The ignorance of MAGA (I’m thinking AKA your neighbors) runs deeper and in ways I could ever imagine or believe possible.That said however, your evening plans sound fantastic. Enjoy the venue, music, and the opportunity to escape the dark times we are currently living in for a at least a few hours. It will rejuvenate and soothe your soul.

Ann Anderson's avatar

Did we already forget the crash Tiger caused and barely survived on the 101 near LA? (A stretch of road I used to drive all the time, but never mind.) His gf made a statement about how it was just a little crash or something, but the point is...Tigger's lady friend of the moment is Don Jr's ex-wife, mother of his five kids.

Bob's avatar
5hEdited

And the one in Palos Verdes, in which he totaled the loaner vehicle from a tournament. Nearly totaled one of his legs in that one, so much so the doctors considered amputation. His driving on the road is a disaster.

Songgirl Kim's avatar

And he’s jeopardizing the safety of other drivers.

barb's avatar

How does he even have a license anymore?. Aren't you supposed to lose it after the dui's he's had? Scary that he's on the roads with his hx.

247kath's avatar

I’m sure he can afford a chauffeur🙄

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Tiger and Trump have been friends since the late 90-early 2000's. They've even golfed together. Vanessa just gives Tiger more access to Trump.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

So we can anticipate Trump regaling the press with made-up stories about the size of Tiger's schlong, as he did about Arnold Palmer. Classiness.

Major Kong's avatar

The guy is richer than Croceous. Can't he hire someone to drive him?

Ann Anderson's avatar

My thought, too, but then he can't go "vroom vroom!" Like a big boy.

Polly Sears's avatar

I read he likes his privacy and doesn't want people peering into his business. In MA. looking at your cellphone while driving, gets you a ticket!!!

Caroline (PDX)'s avatar

Beat me to it 🙃

Mike Basile's avatar

Tiger Woods, Jesse Watters, Matt Gaetz, Ted Nugent and The King Of Shitfuckery - This Week In Stupid indeed‼️

Doc Blase''s avatar

"...bare no relationship to the truth."

You know Donnie absolutely wrote that one.

"Lord Shitticus." 🏆You've still got it.

Nancy Potter's avatar

In the same post that he mixes up "bare" and "bear" he spells his made-up "Slapadopolous" perfectly.

HI2thDoc's avatar

No surprise that Ted Nooge

Is a butt licking MAGA stooge

He loves that malodorous codger

A fellow pedophile draft dodger

Their similarities are yooge

Susie's avatar

That’s just so spot on. Your gift is remarkable Doc. Thanks for sharing it with us. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

HI2thDoc's avatar

My pleasure. It helps my sanity

Robert Eckert's avatar

Mine too, thank you

Maggie&Lefty's avatar

You mean our collective sanity 😉

Cathy Wray's avatar

Good one!!!😜

Charles Austin's avatar

👏👏👏👏👏

Richard Von Busack's avatar

The goose meme: "Chattering class? What class are you Jesse? WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (Chases the Fox pundit, honking.)

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

Jesse Watters doesn't chatter, he seeps

Ann Anderson's avatar

Fox execs looked for an anchor and said like Hannity? And they decided, no, way way dumber than that. They know their audience.

Mingo's avatar

It warms my heart to know that Jesse's mother is a Meidas Touch fan.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Like a wound on the way to gangrene.

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

His own mother can’t stand him.

Bob's avatar

Or oozes.

patti sepich's avatar

when he’s trying to be ‘clever’ and totally fails

Gini Kramer's avatar

In one episode of The Sopranos, Furio, Tony Soprano’s Sicilian muscle, followed him onto to a golf course so that he could have a “chat” with Uncle Junior’s cardiologist. Furio slowly advanced upon the hapless doc until he backed him into a water hazard and uttered the three words that sum up my opinion of golf: “stupida fuckin’ game.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Regular golf is just miniature golf on Viagra.

Bob's avatar

Robin Williams did a hilarious bit on the invention of golf.

Robert Eckert's avatar

"I've got an idea for a game: knock a ball inta a gopher hole!"

"Like pool, then?"

"Feck pool! In pool you use a straight stick. I'll make ye use a crooked fecked-up stick."

"Like croquet then?"

"Feck croquet! They put the target just a few feet away."

"More like lawn bowling then?"

"Feck bowling! I'll put the hole hundreds of yards away, with a little flag to give ye hope, but surround it with pools of water and bogs of sand. And you'll be flailing away in the sand pit with your tire iron until you have a stroke-- that's what we'll call them, strokes!"

"But if you get the ball in the hole you're done?"

"Feck no! I'm gonna make ye do it eighteen times!"

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

If Ted Nugent thinks running water is a luxury, just wait until he hears about that giant faucet up in Canada!

Carol C's avatar

I count myself lucky that I have no idea who Ted Nugent is, and no desire to Google him.

Susie's avatar

I envy you. 🫩

Martha Howell's avatar

My bet is that none of the pilots or rescue team are going to get the commendations they so richly deserve because the incident was embarrassing to the King of Vanity, after he lied to us the day prior. His soul is smaller even than his tiny hands.

Mary Hall's avatar

My bet is that the 12 or so generals who were fired all told Kegsbreath to shove his stupid, suicidal ground war up his ass.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

My bet is with yours on that. If 12 generals were pushing back on a ground invasion or more war crimes and fired for that, we are in much deeper shit than we can imagine. War Pig Pete and Gaetz are using the same drugs.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Turns out it was 30 generals who pushed back on a ground war, and 12 were fired. No guard rails in this traitorous administration.

Pamela Van Sickle's avatar

I agree completely.

Joyce's avatar

Well, we all know that he loathes seeing wounded members of the Armed Services, and he has nothing but contempt for anyone who is captured...............

HI2thDoc's avatar

And his mushroom

Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

He's just so stupid. Now maybe he did some kind of voice to text thing on that post about Jonathan Karl's book, but he should proofread stuff before he hits send. He wrote bare no relationship, it should be bear.

T L Mills's avatar

That popped out at me, too. Along with all the other obvious bullshit.

Carol C's avatar

DT meant to say he fears the truth of his relationships laid bare.

Un-redact and release all of the Epstein files!

Bob's avatar

Trouble is he doesn’t read and wouldn’t spot the error.