this week in stupid, April 21 edition
Ali Alexander grooms, Elmo's rocket doesn't zoom, and so much more ...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America. let’s look back at some of the highlights.
sunday: are you a teenage boy? Ali Alexander has an awesome opportunity just for you
bottomfeeding Trump toady and Stop The Steal shitfuck Ali Alexander, another one of this right-wing dipshits who never stops screaming about groomers, got caught literally grooming.
it seems that Ali has been spending the last few years texting multiple teenage boys and pressuring them into sending him dick pics.
ewww.
when confronted, Ali issued a weasely “apology” which basically boiled down to “I’m sorry if the boys I pressured to send me dick pics somehow got the idea that I was pressuring them to send me dick pics.”
once again, every wingut accusation is in reality a confession.
monday: this fucking idiot
ugh. how does this unreliable fuckface even have a following.
tuesday: Oklahoma sheriff and county officials get all misty-eyed while reminiscing about lynchings
if you pitched a movie about an Oklahoma sheriff and his county cronies openly discussing how much they miss the good old days when you could lynch a black man just for looking at you funny, and then threw in some dialog about hiring a hit man to kill annoying reporters, you’d get thrown out of every studio in Hollywood, because that shit is way too over the top to be believable.
except for the part where it actually happened.
oh dear.
wednesday: Congresswoman Sporkfoot’s own party tells her to shut the fuck up
you knew we couldn’t get through the week without hearing from Marjorie Three IQ Points Greene.
at a Homeland Security hearing on Wednesday, Marge’s hectoring of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas was so out of line that Committee Chairman Mark Green, a Republican, cut her off and directed that her remarks to be “taken down,” which is congressional-speak for “shut the fuck up and don’t say one more word for the rest of the day.”
you know things are going well for you when your own party can’t stand the screechy caterwauling spewing out of your mouth.
my favorite bit was when Greene asked for a “point of personal inquiry” and Rep. Dan Goldman cut her off with a curt “there’s no such thing.”
I’m beginning to think that it might have been a mistake for the voters of Georgia to have sent a moron to Congress.
thursday: Elon’s big stupid rocket didn’t blow the fuck up, it rapidly and unscheduledly disassembled. whatever you say, Elon
it’s hard to believe that the guy who makes cars that randomly blow the fuck up also makes rockets that randomly blow the fuck up. but on Thursday, that’s exactly what happened.
oh wait, Elon’s rocket didn’t blow the fuck up after all. it experienced a “rapid unscheduled disassembly.”
maybe Ali Alexander could get a job writing press releases for SpaceX. or maybe SpaceX could write apologies for Ali Alexander.
friday: ?
hey, it’s only ten o’clock in the morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a great weekend, everyone.
This is the only way I’m getting the news from now on.
when Greene asked for a “point of personal inquiry” and Rep. Dan Goldman cut her off with a curt “there’s no such thing.”
Saw a video of it and that made my day!