401 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

"but Uncle Jeff, why didn't you do Piss-Drunk Pete using a fake prayer from Pulp Fiction?"

oh, because everyone's already talked that one to death. for the 'week in stupid' I try to find the obscure stories

michellefromchicago's avatar

But uncle Jeff, the Pulp Fiction episode is so incredibly funny! And such a comeuppance for the ever so religious biblical scholar, Pete Kegstand!

As for the Kaitlin Jenner schadenfreude, all I can say is HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!! 😆

Lady Emsworth's avatar

Jenner should be hoping the passport office changes her designation to "Human."

She's had so much poor plastic surgery it's difficult to tell.

Stephen Brady's avatar

As the old saying goes, 'she looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet'.

Cheri Collins's avatar

Yes! That was my first thought upon seeing the photo - WTF has she done to her face.

Tracey's avatar

My thoughts too, yikes!

Linda Weide's avatar

My thoughts were, it is terrible when people as young as my daughter and her friends who are just out of their teens think that its normal for women to get their faces filled with collagen, and then are unable to move their faces. Where they expect people with celebrity to alter their appearances with plastic surgery, and then this is hailed as beauty. Yikes!

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

After wearing mostly drugstore makeup (with a little Sephora stuff thrown in) for decades, I quit wearing makeup - UNtil I had to go to a birthday party held at a nice restaurant last year. Later on we also attended Peter White's show at a Vineyard on the North Fork so I wanted to look 'decent'. Finally decided to order Jones Road makeup. Seriously, BEST I've ever used - or tried. It's basically tinted moisturizer in so many skin tones AND applying it with their brush is sublime. I ordered a couple of other products - blusher and lip gloss too and got so many compliments. I still have 95% of it sealed in a zip-lock bag (there's a lot in each product) - so I'm unlikely to need to repurchase for a long while, just in case any of the ladies here were curious about her products.

Jan Moon's avatar

Well, as they say: "Tempus Fugit" . . . even for false faces.

Sooz Hall's avatar

I’m guessing she doesn’t believe in sun screens. The face, in that photo anyway, looks like the finest cured saddle leather. Prepared by a new student under poor supervision…

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

That'd take a TON of moisturizer. Maybe all their vacations in the Sun or spent on wealthy yachts is why these women all have plastic faces now/major plastic surgeries - or desperately need filters. After a couple of bad sunburns as a teenager, I learned. Now, having thyroid issues I've had no choice but to avoid the Sun (sadly). Maybe not caring and just enjoying life's the way to go - forgetting the 'fake' faces? I know I'D admire them more. That magat face is so fugly.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

It runs in the family. Kris Jenner hasn't looked like a "person" in years.

Miselle's avatar

Either do any of her spawn. Maybe her son who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth, or is hiding. Could you blame him?

Linda Weide's avatar

Supporting Trump takes one out of the "full person" realm fairly quickly if one was one before. They are lacking in humanity. The people who support Trump seem to be emotionally stunted. Listening to them is something that I would like to characterize as bad for your health. These are unfortunate beings who have arrested development. We do best to avoid them.

Bonnie Council's avatar

She's apparently going for MAGA-face like the rest of the gals in trump's circle. So ugly.

TJTarheel's avatar

I used that word the other day and had to reveal its meaning to the husband.

Sooz Hall's avatar

Spawn? Mis-gendered?

TJTarheel's avatar

Jeff explained it about a year ago. It’s when you derive pleasure from soneone else’s pain, like I’m doing/we’re doing with the MAGAs losing streak

Tonya Browning's avatar

Why can she not travel internationally now! I don’t feel a bit sorry for her. Like you, I’m saying, “HA HA HA HAHAHA HAHA HAHAHA HA HAHAHAHA!”

Chonks's avatar

If you believe web summaries, she can't travel to these countries: Afghanistan, Brunei, Cambodia, Georgia, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Laos, Malaysia, Belarus, and probably Russia. I’m sure she had her sights on a vacation in Vientiane, so she may have to settle for Ho Chi Minh City instead.

Tonya Browning's avatar

Why though? Does her appearance need to match her sex on her passport, or do they ban transgender people?

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

The latter, I believe - OR perhaps if you don't

match physically what THEY'VE decided your gender is (according to your passport), you're not allowed to fly? i have no fucking idea, actually - just suppositioning what trans people go through regularly, but which Caitlyn assumed she was immune from - being an all-in magat. It's akin to Byron Donalds assuming he really was in the running to be frump's vp (LOL) then finding out about bobby brainworms' plans for black children.

Tonya Browning's avatar

When will people learn Trump only cares about himself & absolutely no one else? No one, absolutely NO ONE will ever do enough or be loyal enough to him…. EVER! Margorie Taylor Green’s son has gotten death threats, & when she told Trump, he told her that if her son dies, it will be her fault. I’d love to be a fly on Jenner’s wall when she finally realizes it’s democrats who gave her all the rights she had to become the woman She always wanted to be! It disgusts me that she thinks she’s special though just because she’s famous, was apart of the Kardashian family, she’s a MAGAt & she voted for Trump.

I’ve not heard this about Byron Donald or RFK Jr’s plans for black children. I live in the UK now. I try my best to keep on top of everything back home so I know what’s going on & how to vote & whatnot.

Chonks's avatar

Gender reassignment is illegal in those countries, I believe. Would that apply to a traveler? No clue.

In the Schengen area now, they have the Entry/Exit System, so Cait probably wouldn't even see a human unless her passport was flagged for some other reason. I’m pretty sure that "being a noisy MAGA dipshit" isn't a red flag. Yet.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Oh, that it were! Not purely for her, but every one of the magat morons out there who somehow imagine that they are 'speshul'.

Bob's avatar

Boo-fucking-hoo, Caitlyn.

Linda Weide's avatar

The Trump Jesus picture is a barometer of how fake someone's Christianity is, by how much they stick up for the image being used by Trump.

TJTarheel's avatar

You’re absolutely right. No authentic Christian would not be highly offended by that. It changed the game completely for someone I know and though he’d been critical of Trump lately the fake Jesus AI produced by Donald finished the job

Karen Livolsi's avatar

I use the word” schadenfreude” so often, I’m beginning to say it with a German accent. Not on purpose, I heard it pronounced with the accent and I must have subconsciously liked it better in a German accent than a Pittsburgh accent. It’d be “schaadinfroodn” (no vowel between the d and n) in Pittsburgh.

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Hey, Uncle Jeff, I know it’s still early, but I would like to nominate the Jesus-Doctor meme for an April’s spot in “This Year in Stupid”. I think, by December, we’ll be anxious to relive that one.

Mara's avatar
Apr 18Edited

My new name for Donny is The Reverend Doctor Jesus Trump, which is a call-back to the time we Alabamians were under the questionable rule of The Reverend Governor Guy Hunt. Things haven’t changed much since then but I have hope for the future…vote Doug Jones!

Robert Eckert's avatar

His health-care plan is to put all doctors in robes like that so their hands start to glow and a laying-on-of-hands ritual will cure all ills, cost-free

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

LOVE Doug Jones. Hope HE wins by a land-slide...a real one, similar to Magyar in Hungary, not the fuckwit's fake one.

kathiallyson's avatar

I love Doug Jones more than you! ❤️

Mara's avatar

Thanks for your support-I couldn’t agree more!

Hollie Rood's avatar

Your obscure stories are the best😅 They include a lot of WTF was that as in Monday’s nowhere as cool or relevant he thinks he is - Sid Rosenberg.

Then there was Tuesday, then Wednesday until it was Friday. You just couldn’t make this crazy shit up, no matter how you tried 🤯

Suki Herr's avatar

I always want to know what makes Maria Bartiromo tick?

This is nothing like WW2. FDR was reluctant to enter what was a world at war.

FDR didn’t use the American military, risk lives on a whim.

Not comparable, stupid supposition, asking a nonentity for an opinion.

Trump is no FDR.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

frump is no President. He IS in fact, a precedent we wish we hadn't had to live through.

Denise Donaldson's avatar

Props for word wizardry!

Robert Eckert's avatar

Yes, and he SPOKE BEFORE CONGRESS to ask for a declaration of war.

Michelle Vancura's avatar

Yes, after the Japanese actually attacked US!

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

AND it was taken then as an incredibly serious matter for the US to join in on a World War. Now? this fuckwit preznit (one of my favourite terms of Jeff's) seemed as though he was DYING to get us into this war no matter WHO had to die- after being shown lots of explosive video clips by the idiots around him, just like any 7yr old. 'MOM, it went boomity boom! it was GREAT! I want to make other things go boomity boom, so much FUN'!

Linda Weide's avatar

The obscure part of the Straits of Hormuz are open again is that, the full part of it was that they were open again for ships to go through the Iranian guided part under Iranian guidance with a fee, so we were actually not back to where we started, and will never be.

Malcolm Nance, Jacob Kaarsbo and Wajeeh Lion were making fun of the fact that Trump has suggested that he will go to Islamabad himself to make the deal, and that the only person that Iran would rather deal with than JD Vance is Trump because he cannot make deals at all. Then they went on to have a good laugh over that. See, Trump has put everyone who hated Iran, and Nance and Kaarsbo fought against Iran before, but now, thanks to Kegbreath and Trump, they are rooting for Iran to make a fool of Trump. People who do not like Iran are rooting for them to bring Trump down. That is the battle of the theocracies.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Today there was some stuff about how he pulled vance from the next set of talks - sending the son-in-law and witkoff? instead because of 'security issues'. Yeah, HE'll go, my ass! Him and whose army of 100,000 to protect his fugly orange azz? He's a coward to the BONE (ever focus on his face when that Eagle flapped its wings at him?Hilarious) - so might talk about going but will never, EVER be Vlodomyr Zelenskyy - as jealous as he is of that brilliant Ukrainian President who showed up on the front lines of HIS Country's invasion by Russia over and over again, restoring his soldiers' faith in him. frump can't walk 30 feet, let alone going to Iran to put on a show. IF anything, they'll try to pull a fast one, inveigling one of his body doubles to go in his stead, having to offer MILLIONS for the job. ANYONE doing this would be even dumber than the dumbfuck since they couldn't allow the possibility of it coming out after, so he'd be 'disappeared'.

Jerrold Marsh's avatar

Every week you have a smorgasbord of stupid to choose from. It has to be difficult to decide what goes in and what gets left out.

HI2thDoc's avatar

In a sane world, "MAGA pastor" would be the most glaring oxymoron conceivable. Also, Vaughn, if you're a pastor who presumably went to seminary, how do you not recognize blasphemy?

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I don't think Vaughn is an actual ordained anything. I think he belongs to the Church of Running Your Damned Food Mouth

HI2thDoc's avatar

MEGA. Mendacious Evangelical Grifting Asshole

Lucius's avatar

I mean, that describes every evangelical in a position of authority.

Pam Humphrey's avatar

Perfect! As a victim of a MEGA family- fracturing religious movement, I’d say you are right on.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

and who gives/puts them in, these positions of 'authority'? Look at Paula White - frump's personal conduit to god as she calls herself. She 'speaks in tongues' - which makes even Melania's Eengleesh sound nearly palatable. Is it possible the entire thing is an SNL skit and we're simply not in on the joke? WHERE is Gilda Radner when you really, really, really need her?!

George in Atlanta's avatar

We could do well with a letter from Mr. Richard Feder (of Ft. Lee NJ).

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

LOL MISTER Richard Feder. Boy, I'd nearly forgotten him. You have a great memory!.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Sadly, your experience is more common than we would like

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

My sister in law was all in maga and even my older brother (her husband) leaned that way. He was also abusive towards her (only her family knew - apart from me) and I wasn't allowed to say anything on pain of death. His explanation when I challenged him (in private?) 'I don't want her to become like our mother'. WTF? Instead HE did? In truth she was abusive, but verbally/emotionally - to me, probably because she knew I knew, but I stayed friendly - feeling that at some point she'd need my shoulder. After he died she seemed to soften - just a little some years later, did speak to me in a far friendlier tone - in what turned out to be our very last conversation. I SHOULD have spoken out earlier - cleared the air even if neither spoke to me again but I didn't think it was my place - at the time. Perhaps there would be far fewer magats if more of us DID speak up when we should. I still have regrets. :(

HI2thDoc's avatar

I have heard a number of people express regrets after a friend or family member has passed. This is a common occurrence, but often is overly self-critical. Most things that transpire in others’ lives are beyond our direct control, and conversely are much more within their own control than they realize or can acknowledge. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Frank Nuts's avatar

You’re on fire today Doc. Two good ones.

If a MEGA and a MAGA had a baby it would be……….

Very unfortunate

Joe Bacon's avatar

This is the same Shane Vaughn who endlessly had "spiritual revelations" that Trump was going to be back in the White House on March 4th 2021, then July 4th 2021, then Labor Day 2021, then Thanksgiving 2021...and Joe Biden would be jailed for treason.

Didn't work out that way...

HI2thDoc's avatar

We should ask him to predict the direction of the markets, then do the opposite

Dave Drell's avatar

He’s just a wacko

Pam Humphrey's avatar

Yeah, aren’t they all?

Martha Howell's avatar

Their congregation is immense

Ellyn's avatar

I’m left wondering if Vaughn & RFK Jr have the same definition of “heal”?……

I mean, if maga actually had a dictionary, which I doubt exists as not one can read.

Which, now that I’ve thought it thru, is a real delight because they can’t get the daily mental health restoring uodates from Uncle Jeff.

HA HA HA HA 😃

Jerry Bier's avatar

They are deliberately trained to ignore a lot of the dastardly bullsi*t in the Bible (Proun; buy-bull). They are told to avoid much of the OT, which is a blueprint for slavery, murder, misogyny, and more disgusting things that, if I tried to mention them all, it would be futile and so boring as to render most rational people brain damage. I can't have that on my conscience.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Haha, Buy-bull. Never heard that before! Good one

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I have - and Jerry is absolutely correct. While they think it's perfectly ok to attack the Pope, they become INCENSED when you call their bullshit buybull. Their version is sacrosanct.

djw's avatar

Oh, no, I disagree. They *focus* on the OT--those "disgusting" things are their bread and butter. (And Kegsbreath's "prayer" came from the book of Ezekial Tarantino, right?) But they carefully remove the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John b/c those are clearly blasphemous.

Bonnie Council's avatar

Right? What self-righteous cherry pickers they are.

Robert Eckert's avatar

As Jesus would put it, the Bible is a mixture of the wheat and the tares: the tares being the inherited brutality and ignorance from the Bronze Age when Israel started asking how people should live together and how the universe works, and the wheat being the prophets telling them to get beyond the brutality and ignorance and learn better ways. Evangelical Christians carefully separate the wheat from the tares, burn all the wheat and keep all the tares.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

',,,and that dude jesus? just a little uppity jewish rabbi - who probably didn't bathe AND hung out with his friends, so was probably gay, ugh. We can ignore that little brown haired, swarthy skinned jew who was born in a manger for fuck's sake...WE know he should've been surrounded by fancy gold and riches, not smelly animals so he's a phony who had the nerve to call himself the Son of God, hah! WE know who OUR Jebus is - a tall, white, Aryan long-haired light-brown haired beautiful man with blonde streaks and BLUE EYES who wore beautiful silk robes and lubs us because we murder people and want to make our country all-white in his name...WE know how to do this christianity thing RIGHT..' (Oh, how their twisted souls function is beyond belief.)

George in Atlanta's avatar

... and if Blue-eyed WhiteJebus hadn't invented the AK-47 and killed all the dinosaurs, where would we be then... huh?!?!

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

TOO funny, lolol. Of course THEIR world is only - what, 2000 years old, so the dinosaurs roamed among the Romans (omg THAT's where the romans got their very NAME - now it all makes sense!) I'm cackling here - all while trying not to cry from my shoulder pain (laughing IS the best medicine so I thank you).

djw's avatar

Hilarious--but way too true!

Hollie Rood's avatar

Thank you for caring enough as to not rendering us brain damaged

P.S. “buy-bull” 🏆

Bob's avatar
Apr 18Edited

The point of the New Testament is it’s a new covenant with god. It’s supposed to mostly supersede the old. But the Evangelicals love the OT because it offers them their “holy” justification for all the bullshit they want to inflict on the rest of this. Biblical cruelty.

Had these clowns been worshipping a false idol, like they do Trump, during the Inquisition, they’d have been drawn and quartered.

Jerry Bier's avatar

Not withstanding, the whole conglomeration is man-made. There is no God. That’s the real failure.

Bob's avatar

Given that the Bible was written hundreds of years after the birth of Jesus, and by people who weren’t anywhere near Israel.

I’m an ex-Presbyterian, agnostic and more tuned into Taoism. It’s Alan Watts fault.

George in Atlanta's avatar

Alan Watts. Haven't thought about him for a while. The most eloquent screamer of "BULLSHIT!" that ever lived. George Carlin was #2.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

THANK YOU for stating this - about it being written SO long after the birth of Jesus (IF he were ever a real person, that is). There are SO MANY similar tales throughout Norse and other Ancient Asian mythology about: the 3 kings, the baby boy, the family escaping the vengeful king - the guiding star - no one EVER takes the time to actually read that the story of Jesus is simply a remake of so many other tales from long, long ago. Why THIS one became a world-wide religion continuing to today still confounds me.

Carlye Hooten's avatar

Exactly why I'm an atheist. Bible-bangers on both sides of my lineage, and the most hypocritical human beings I've ever known in person. One def, possibly two malignant narcissists, maternal grandmother (malignant narcissist, verbally abusive) and paternal grandfather (Presbyterian minister and abusive alcoholic, maybe malignant narcissist). Plus an enabler and another alcoholic. Yeah, I have issues... 🙄

Pam Humphrey's avatar

I live in Texas. I’m surrounded by these idiots. My parents were “taken hostage” by evangelist/con man Kenneth Copeland. Sadly most of the country has no idea where these Christian Nationalists are coming from. Attacking the Pope doesn’t bother them at all.

Carlye Hooten's avatar

Ughhh! I'm so sorry! I wish you peace and change 💙

Bt my experience with (mostly family) hardcore religious folks and reading and hearing a TON about the cultists in the couple of decades, I've got a pretty good idea what makes them tick: MONEY AND POWER.

Just like Catholics in European history, the religion is the cover and power is the real prize. The leaders at least, only care about religion as far as it can get them the other two.

The really wonderful part of this is that American Catholics had a lot to do with putting the Felon in the White House. Their alienating this group can only be good for us and America! 💙💙💙❣️

Bob's avatar

The history of the House of Tutor is a perfect encapsulation of religion as a means of control.

George in Atlanta's avatar

Yuk. Copeland just... ain't right. Looks sorta demon-possessed to me.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

He is evil incarnate - and the very image I'D use if I was casting a film about the devil (who doesn't really exist) -- but we're talking fantasy here. He's a real sick son-of-a-bitch.

Pam Humphrey's avatar

Y’all nailed it!

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I'm SO sorry your family got caught up by that vicious critter. He really is HORRID.

djw's avatar
Apr 19Edited

Lived most of my life there; I feel your pain!

I think I have to say, though, that my father-in-law was an Air Force chaplain. His kids have some unhappy memories of their childhood, but the man I knew was kind and generous and loving. A few months before he died (after I had long since gone to the agnostic side), he told me he didn't know how he'd have lived without Jesus in his life. I personally believe Jesus Christ was every bit as real as Harry Potter, but it made him feel good, so I was okay with that. At least he wasn't a Rolex-wearing evangelical (see Ray Stevens for that reference).

Bob's avatar

Also, the holier they are, the worse they are.

Carlye Hooten's avatar

Absolutely! I had a maternal grandmother who was a religious malignant narcissist (!) and a paternal grandfather who was a violently abusive, alcoholic Presbyterian minister (who might have been a malignant narcissist), so I know a lot about both aberrant psychology and religions, just as part of healing childhood wounds. Horrible, horrible people.

Bob's avatar

I’m no long surprised by the lengths to which people will go to keep control of others, be it for money or power or darker reasons.

Carlye Hooten's avatar

Yep, me either. Humans can be awful!

Bob's avatar

From my own observations, never try to out-drink an Episcopalian rector.

George in Atlanta's avatar

It's all that rampant sex that grosses me out. Why couldn't those people keep their pants on? (Oh, they didn't have pants... never mind).

Jerry Bier's avatar

LOL. Right. And they didn't know where the sun went at night, either.

David Selditz's avatar

I don't think that these "pastors" ever went to any seminary, christian colleges or any non-secular anything. They're equivalent to a shade tree mechanic.

djw's avatar

I know Joel Osteen didn't, and I feel certain he' just a part of the pack.

Jerry Bier's avatar

That is a distinct possibility. They sure don't seem to know anything but how to grift money from dopey people who still think they know things THEY DO NOT KNOW!

All these charlatans do is provide them with assurance for their perceived and browbeaten ideas that have been forced on them since they were 3-years-old. Brainwashed concepts and lies that any sane person can see through-- but, only if they take the time to look at where they originated.

David Selditz's avatar

They're not the brightest folks - intellectually stunted without curiosity and staying true to a binary worldview. It all begins in the home.

As a Jew (secular), I've been "jewsplained" by these mutts since I was a kid and as a younger adult, smelled the bullshite, self righteousness and ignorance. I have to stop here before my head explodes.

Jerry Bier's avatar

When I was six, I knew deep down that the preacher was lying, and after that, I only went to church under the threat of physical punishment. Around 13 or 14, I had the physical presence that church was now optional and only for occasional attendance, weddings, funerals, and special occasions like Christmas. Easter? Don't insult me.

Pam Humphrey's avatar

Like most things in the USA, the Christian Nationalist leadership are all about the money, the mansions, the lake side complexes, the cars, the airplanes, et al. It’s sad…and disgusting.

BJ Zamora's avatar

He would say it’s anything he doesn’t like or believe in.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Like Bartleby the scrivenor "they would prefer not to."

Lairbo's avatar

The Strait of Hormuz situation at this point is pretty much "Duck Season!" "Rabbit Season!" "Duck Season!" "Rabbit Season!"

I'm betting that dick pic of Trump with the mic pole winds up hanging somewhere in the Oval Office, if not the official presidential portrait.

Lisa Bieber's avatar

What exactly is being miked here?

myhoopbabies's avatar

They got tired of waiting for something intelligent to come out of his face so they asked his micro penis for its take.

Lois Henry's avatar

Actually, it’s moving in toward his ass where he does most of his talking out of.

T L Mills's avatar

And his "wide stance"...what was that about? Is he having balance problems or was he just nonchalantly filling his Depends?

myhoopbabies's avatar

Maybe that's how much room his cankles need so they don't rub together.

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Good one!! But even that was too imperceptible!

Robin D's avatar

And the stories it could tell 🤣😂

Bonnie Council's avatar

As in, what's in the Epstein files?

Bonnie Council's avatar

OMG - you just made me laugh out loud, a first for today!

HI2thDoc's avatar

An enormous prick. Him, not his "equipment" (Ask Stormy)

Robin D's avatar

🍄‍🟫 Thanks Stormy 🤣 (this emoji is smaller than the polka dot mushroom . More true to size)

djw's avatar

That wasn't my first thought. Mine was, "What is he doing to that mike?"

Noel's avatar

He thinks and talks out of his incorrect end.

Hollie Rood's avatar

More like a continuous Rabid Season

Maui Wahine's avatar

Notice his hand is very swollen.

Pam Humphrey's avatar

Wonder if AI could turn that mic pole into gold. Donnie Dimwit would like that.

Bonnie Council's avatar

Shhh! We don't want to give him (them) any ideas!

Douglas Mackay's avatar

One news item needing more attention: the dwindling and insufficient food and hygiene supplies on American ships in the war zone, particularly the Abraham Lincoln carrier. More Congressional representatives and senators need to address this despicable problem.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The sweaty meat pile Hegseth should put his gin aside long enough to address this. It's his job. Congress is just a fart chorus at this point.

Carol C's avatar

The crews of all the cargo ships waiting to go through the strait are also in bad shape. Something like 20,000 people, if I remember.

myhoopbabies's avatar

Yes!! This should be everyone's top news item.

djw's avatar

No, they need to turn the ships around and bring the soldiers home.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

They have tons of toilet paper but the toilets don't flush. You can end up in the brig for mentioning prune juice.

Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

Are you referring to USS Gerald Ford? The ship with the subpar sewage system? I wanted to mention that this ship has been deployed (and redeployed, back to back) and has been underway for 11 months. Typical Navy deployment is 6 months. I can’t even imagine how awful the conditions and morale on the Ford must be.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I heard the Ford isn't the only one with that problem. The newer ships have smaller plumbing lines. Some sailors don't like these bullshit deployments.

Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

It is very hard on their families as well. This is NOT what they expected.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

Here's what they're being served on other ships deployed to the region. Looks like prison rations

https://x.com/sentdefender/status/2044903332603363796/photo/1

Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

I’ve seen those photos, and although I have never been a guest in the big house, I think small rations (such as those pictured) would be very unusual - and illegal.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

They should at least get “A piece of chicken, a piece of broccoli, corn tortilla, and one other thing”

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Indeed, but saying that they haven't seen broccoli in weeks -- as I saw one commenter point out -- is not the negative some would claim.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Broccoli is the vegetable from the devil's garden.

Carol C's avatar

Broccoli is probably shorthand for any kind of fresh produce.

kathiallyson's avatar

Heyyyy! No sensible comments allowed!

Carol C's avatar

Sorry. I get this urge to explain sometimes. Former teacher.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

I don't believe that's how it was being used.

Irascible Ink's avatar

Wait, so now they can only have a pita, a piece of chicken, and one other thing?

Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

Yes, and in this situation, the one other thing is a napkin.

Cordeliane's avatar

Ha, perfect reference!

Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

What comes to mind is the quote attributed to both Napoleon Bonaparte and Frederick the Great: ‘An army marches on its’ stomach’.

These aircraft carriers each have about 5,000 people aboard. This makes me so fucking mad and sad for the ‘warfighters’ suffering this depravation while wondering if they will be taking on drone attacks.

The media needs to be asking some straight and direct questions.

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

It is horrid that our soldiers aren’t getting any nourishment or hygiene products! I wish mutiny would happen.

Nancy Braus's avatar

Thank you so much for the best laugh of the day- Mr. and Mrs. Met certainly know who deserves their affection! I just love seeing how Zohran Mamdani drives MAGA insane- the idea of a smart, ethical, amazingly well liked, successful, powerful Muslim sends them into seizures of rage.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Iran has now re-closed the strait

Again stopping all petroleum freight

Because of the drumpf blockade

Another yoooge fuckup he's made

This should be called Epstein-trumpgate

Morgan's avatar

The best ever "Trump was sent by God" meme: https://www.instagram.com/p/DXCtx3XjOG3/

Society woman: "I believe Trump was sent by God."

Groucho: "Why, did he run out of locusts?"

Irascible Ink's avatar

Society woman is Margaret Dumont, a fixture in the Marx Brothers movies. She's terrific, and I've seen and love this meme. 😂

Morgan's avatar

She's a perfect foil for Groucho! I never knew her name. Thanks!

Irascible Ink's avatar

She said working with them was just as fun, crazy and exasperating as you'd think, because they were ALWAYS going off script and she had to stay on her toes. Such respect for this great lady. 🫡😅

Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂😂🥸🥸

HI2thDoc's avatar

It would have been priceless if whoever was holding that boom mic accidently bashed him in the crotch. Altho' the diapers would have cushioned the blow somewhat

Jane's avatar

Maybe we should give him a skateboard!

Hollie Rood's avatar

That would be like asking to stop by the corner store to pick up some groceries. He’d have no clue. Best to leave skateboards to the professional goons

Hollie Rood's avatar

Even if he wasn’t wearing a diaper, if he got an accidental boom mic wack in the crotch, it would have been impossible to inflict any pain because he’s a walking ball-less🍊🤡🐖y

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

Nice, Jeff. So much to cover, and where to begin? Kash Patel staggering around blind drunk, Pete doing his drunk Pulp Fiction sermon, Trump on an Adderall‑fueled late‑night tear about his own Schrödinger’s Strait of Vermouth?

Is the White House like the Led Zeppelin jet? You start to wonder if there are candy bowls of Adderall and Xanax set out beside taxpayer‑funded single‑malt mini‑bars in the White House, while the carrier groups live on gulag rations like Matt Damon on Mars because General Caine never cracked a single logistics manual before they slapped on his fourth star and made him chairman of the Joint Chiefs.

Pete is out there grave‑dancing on the boat murders, Karoline Leavitt is forced to live‑edit her lies in the half‑second between her “brain” and her mouth, Congress does exactly as instructed without even a token side‑eye, and we dutifully write our checks to Treasury and… then what?

Remember the Chris Farley skit where he takes the giant bottle of Nyquil to sleep through cold season? That's looking better every day. Wake me up in time for the trials.

arne link's avatar

Led Zeppelin produced something good and lasting for the people, unlike this administration.

Caroline (PDX)'s avatar

I'm just glad I live in Oregon where weed is legal and cheap. 😁

Irascible Ink's avatar

Legalizing weed in Canada helped get Trudeau elected. Side note: got into a spat on Farcebork with some folks blaming a weed shop in my small hometown for killing mom and pop businesses because of the riff-raff it attracts. Not the Walmart or the ubiquitous Dollar Generals, or even Amazon... a fucking legal weed shop. Good lord. 🤦‍♀️

Caroline (PDX)'s avatar

If anything, I would think a weed store would bring business to an area. Here in the Portland metro area they are tucked in among other local businesses.

Irascible Ink's avatar

It is there too, and the main street is actually busy compared to the 2 adjacent towns. Somebody's just trying to bitch about weed while being blind to the shopping monopolies that have taken over. One of the best mom and pop grocers on said street shut down after at least my entire lifetime of busy business (it was actually called Ted Clark's Busy Market!) not because no one went there, but because they couldn't compete with the wholesale prices Walmart gets. I was told “well, the kids didn't wanna take it over”. Ok, but no one bought it either. Gee…

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

J, that sums it all up I agree with all of it, excellent.

Larry Yungk's avatar

So Kash Patel has not been banned from the FBI yet despite the reports of his drunken leadership. So at the FBI, there continues to be a no Kash bar.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Kash will be the next stooge thrown under the bus for embarrassing Dear Leader, which you would think impossible for a man devoid of dignity and morality.

Krazy Eyes Kash, MAGA's FBI mole

Will find his misbehavior take its toll

His drunken antics

Not his bumbling pedantics

Will soon cause his head to roll

Barbara Ferrara's avatar

I bet it's not Kash. He has a dangly part. It'll be Karo-'lian or Tulsi

HI2thDoc's avatar

Tulsi's job was just saved last week by Roger Stone, who convinced DonOld Demento that she was loyal

Robert Eckert's avatar

She just asked the DoJ to prosecute the whistleblower in Trump's first impeachment (the one about blackmailing Zelensky to investigate Hunter) for telling truth to Congress

Susie's avatar

Damn! 🥁🤣🤣🤣

Joe Bacon's avatar

And how does today start? Well I took a peep a Bluesky and the first item shows Trump's BFF Joe Blowgan standing right behind King Turd and he's reacting to one of Trump's Holy Farts...

https://bsky.app/profile/numb.comfortab.ly/post/3mjrjmakk322g

Jodi Richard's avatar

Oh my, that POS Blowgun (love it Wendy) deserves it. What a hilarious photo.

Brad Yazell's avatar

Kash or Kegstand. Who is next to go? Apparently, allegedly, Kash has a bit of a drinking problem as well and it is drawing attention.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Partying Patel, the unserious jerk

Has been sucking it down and going missing from work

For this regime of rummies

And dangerous dummies

Getting paid to imbibe is a perk

Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

Nice work, if you can get it.

HI2thDoc's avatar

On our dime, of course. Mendacious Assholes Grifting America

Lauralite's avatar

Quoting from elsewhere, "I've seen smarter cabinets at Ikea"

kdsherpa's avatar

(I liked that so much that I used it for my sign at the first No Kings Rally!)

Brian Wendorf's avatar

Oh to be Bill the Cat for just a moment and enjoy the bliss of 'Ack!' and pleasent mindlessness for a bit. Ack.

myhoopbabies's avatar

I quote Bill the Cat almost every day. "Ack" is an excellent response to our current situation.

Cathy Wray's avatar

love Bill the Cat💙

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

Drumpf Haiku

Drumpf is a moron

Patel, Junior, Eric, Noem

Stupid in a box.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Just me, but I'm so over people using their gender, skin color and/or religion to justify why people don't like them. And yes, there are people that don't like others because of the above. But if I'm anti-you, it's because you're an asshole. I have a feeling that many feel as I do.

Susan Niemann's avatar

Hey, Sid. I got four words for ya.

GROW. THE. FUCK. UP.

That picture of Trump, tho. 😂😂😂😂

WTH? Everything is so insane.

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

Dude definitely has a face made for radio.

Charles Austin's avatar

I'm sure the Mets are broke up with losing Sid.😂😂😂😂

PTW's avatar

The Mets have lost 10 games in a row. I'm sure Sid will take credit for that. Jinx.