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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

here's your Saturday stupid: in the emailed version, I misspelled "Gutfeld" in the subhead. doh!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Love that you used the word 'imbecile'. That pic of the Dotard is all any Doc should need to make a diagnosis of progressive dementia.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

My question: Is Trump in Golden Armor wearing his Golden Sneakers?

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Mary's avatar

And carrying his bible?

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Susan Burgess's avatar

…Big Mac in the other liddle hand?

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Mary Virginia Hughes's avatar

Upside down again by any chance?

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Eva Porter's avatar

And enjoying a golden shower?

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

His armor, matches his fetish, oh good!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

And why is his head so shrunken in proportion? Did he meet a witchdoctor along the way?

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂

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Susan Berger's avatar

Many psychiatrists have spoken about Grump's quickly deteriorating brain. It's frightening that much of the media protects Grump and ignores Biden's major accomplishments.

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SeekingReason's avatar

Such is the result of a right wing monopoly ownership of most media.

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Linda Weide's avatar

It looks like Trump is wearing Blackface.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Or ShitFace...

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

I was thinking the same thing 😂

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Kevin Dale Green's avatar

At first I assumed this was a pic from one of his NFTs.

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un poco loco's avatar

let's see... you misspelled a name (by one letter)... as opposed to that entire orgy of apocalyptic knicker-twists that lasted DAYS? Nope, sorry, you'll just have to do better than that... :)

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arne link's avatar

Apocalyptic knicker-twists? That is some awesome writing.

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un poco loco's avatar

had lots of inspiration this week lol

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Rebecca Elliott's avatar

"Apocalyptic knicker-twists" has now entered my vocabulary. I shall remember that term when I no longer remember my own name.

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Charlotte Thompson's avatar

Oh well, shit happens.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

it could have been a lot worse — in my earliest draft, I thought it was Jesse Watters

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Eva Porter's avatar

All stupid white dudes look alike

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

precisely

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Lamorindalinda's avatar

Good thing I didn’t write it. I thought it was Jesse Twatters.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Aren't all fascists interchangeable?

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Mark L's avatar

In sure he won't notice..........

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Doc Blase''s avatar

It's still wrong. It should be Greg Gutlessuckingassholefeld.

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Cassandra Here's avatar

Cooking instructions for Braised Buffoon: Stuff Buffoon into armor, place on bed of coals, roast on low-and-slow until fork tender and all fat is rendered. Best served warm on toast. Will feed an entire prison population. Credit to Medieval Battlefield Picnic Cookbook.

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Gini Kramer's avatar

What brand of "bronzer" does trump use? He looks like he just won first prize in an Eat-My-Shit Pie eating contest.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂😂 ✌️

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Patris's avatar

Omg I can’t breath 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Juli's avatar

I am truly surprised he does not market his trump bronzer. A a missed money making opportunity right there!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Would trump admit that he has to use bronzer to achieve his amazing "complexion?" Of course he would not!

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Juli's avatar

Good point.

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Openly Fae's avatar

11 championship trophies and counting.

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Charles Austin's avatar

A shit pie-eating dynasty!!😆😆😆

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Openly Fae's avatar

Perhaps the help could serve a second slice.

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Charles Austin's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

😂😂 I was wondering the same thing. He needs better lighting when applying his multi layered face paint. Or someone to care enough to tell him he looks like a 🤡🫢

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Patris's avatar

That would only be his dog. Except dogs hate him.

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Steve Kelly's avatar

That was my first thought. Did he get confused on his golden toilet? Sad! (Not).

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂

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SeekingReason's avatar

😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻”Eat My Shit Pie eating contest! Perfect!

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Charles Austin's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

(The dipshittery is so deep right now...I amuse myself by going on MT Gangrene and Gymbo Jordan FB posts and asking on multiple posts if they're taking donations from Russia or if their PACs are. I don't get responses, but others are picking it up. Fun)

2 days until Stormy Monday. I think we're going to see a Category 6 shitticane on ReichsTwitter. I think this is the greatest risk of an attempt to flee (I doubt kidnapping Secret Service agents would trouble his conscience). And I would be surprised if the Slovenian accompanied him unless she's been threatened financially or with physical abuse if she doesn't do the loyal wife thing.(Ivana said he was a beater)

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Ellis Weiner's avatar

STORMY MONDAY! Why didn't I think of that? (rubs hands together in an evil manner) Ex-cellent...

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

To be honest, I based on a Facebook Meme in circulation showing a 5 day forecast. I just appropriated it. But thank you.

Now go harass the Russian assets.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I'd never heard it either and now there's a 99% chance it will be the title of Monday's post

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

I'd be honored, O Salty Bard of the Plainspeak

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arne link's avatar

Stormy Monday? OMG, that's brilliant.

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Mary Hall's avatar

"Shitticane" -- sounds like you're a Trailer Park Boys fan! Me too!

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Charles Austin's avatar

Her AND his meat.

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P. J. Schuster's avatar

And why would we doubt her after hearing from so many who worked in his admin about what a temper fit he throws when things don’t go his way? I believe it. Even if he’s not physically abusive, he is definitely emotionally abusive. I can just imagine how verbally abusive he must be toward the women in his life

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Just sharing this!

Trump is a weak man’s idea of a strong man, a poor man’s idea of a rich man, and a dumb man’s idea of a smart man, a traitor’s idea of a patriot — and a loser’s idea of a winner.

Mat Calabro

https://thedispatch.com/newsletter/boilingfrogs/the-vibes-factor

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Kevin Dale Green's avatar

This quote is easily the best summary of Don Trump's appeal. It really cuts to the chase of how his followers are worshipping a non-existent version of him.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Yep. Trump is perfect in upside down universe.

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Sarah's avatar

I appreciated the article in the dispatch that you linked here. My only comment is that it isn’t so much a matter of ‘vibes’ that the voters use to make their choices from, but both Republicans and Independents are influenced by a constant inundation of lies, propaganda and gaslighting from Fuks News and other sickening right wing media. As well as many of the major news organizations soft pedaling and double sides-ing on the evil fascist big mouth orange criminal. The whole Republican voting block still turns to bullshit Fuks news and the other fake money grubbing info-taintment.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

But Democrats are not as a group. Why? We are inundated with some of the same media that the GOP listens to/watches. When you read the psychological profile of those who follow a cult, I think it points to the person's personality that is the basis for believing this garbage. Why did people join cults/gangs before social media and Fox News? Why did/do people follow religious leaders and believe everything that is said to them? The GOP caters to fear and the unknown. It's the reason people have worshipped someone or something since the beginning of time. The fear of what they can't explain or do not know. Not all Trump supporters are in the cult. The rich love him because of money/power. I'm sure if you polled wealthy people and even most of the GOP in Congress, they honestly would tell you they can't stand him. These aren't the stupid followers. They'd drop him like a hot potato if they weren't terrified of what he will do to their reelection chances. I wonder how much blackmail info he has on members of Congress?

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Sarah's avatar

Yes, cults have been happening for thousands of years. There is a distinction going on currently and that is the evolution/devolution of the information stream, media and media sources. The GOP and their connected infoTAINTment sources are catering to the fear mongering and hatred. We’ve never seen such a proliferation of propaganda being consumed on a daily basis. I’m surrounded in my field by extremely wealthy people, many who are Republicans. You are right about the Republicans being mostly concerned with their bottom line and not necessarily liking the orange pustule. But at the same time, they too are consuming right wing NOT news to support and bolster their own selfish motives. If you ask them directly, many of the people I know, will spout FUKS news lies and justifications whether they actually believe what they’re saying or not. Both the GOP in congress and many of the super wealthy are tied to trump and avoid the daily available facts from real news sources. This makes them lean hard into being a member of the ‘cult’ whether they like dear leader or not.

Regarding the members of congress being blackmailed, they had multiple times in the last 8 years to rid themselves of him if they had chosen to gather together in a group and did it all at once. Even ten of them or twenty would have done the trick had they chosen an opportunity one of multiple times during his crappy presidency. That’s one way people escape a cult and punishment by fellow cult members - by secretly banding together and getting out by speaking publicly about the cult leader’s evil deeds.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

I didn't think much of the article. I just wanted to give the source of the comment which I thought was so spectacular. The article's main point was many American voters don't think clearly about issues. Which is true.

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Openly Fae's avatar

Monday cannot happen fast enough to see what demonic serendipity will save him from THIS accountability.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

And you know something will! That's the only part of these attempts to make trump accountable for ANYTHING that even interest me these days - how does some loophole or last minute appeal or something-something-Clarence Thomas save his ass from each charge brought against him? That something will I now take as a given. That's why, as much as I love reading and laughing at all the comments and jokes about orange jumpsuits, I gave up any hope of that outcome 2 years ago. But please, keep 'em coming!

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Judy Luchsinger's avatar

Don't give up hope. That's the first step 'they, the pro- dictators, want you to take. Then, you're partially paralyzed and can't/won't take the actions necessary to fight for and defend our democracy. Let's just say many of us are cynical because of the privileges of the powerful/rich 🤑 people that we are watching get many breaks and favors. Juries USUALLY get it right when evaluating the facts and there is plenty of evidence in the election interference case coming up. And, there is a smart, experienced, impartial no-nonsence judge IN CHARGE.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

No worries, old hand here. Voting and advocating regardless, things have always been unfair and the rich have always been given every benefit they could buy or bribe their way out of. "White collar" crime has always enjoyed a double standard, in every nation on earth. But I will above all always be a realist, while leaving a little room for being pleasantly surprised once in a while. Youth supplies the hope, and experience supplies the needed skepticism.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

Youth seems to be better until they too get rich. Look at the white collar crime they're involved in at a young age. Greed has no age limit. Just opportunity and poor integrity.

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arne link's avatar

I'm afraid that a flare-up of his bone spurs will hospitalize him. That will make it impossible for him to attend.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

The only reason he might not use the "sick" excuse is that will call more attention to his age and his declining mental acuity. Remember how he acted when he had COVID (I'm a nurse and I don't think he had it, BTW). Certainly he wasn't sick enough to be rushed to Walter Reed and then parading around in a limo a day later. He was Mr. Macho. Going without a mask and out of the hospital in 2 days. That's not how it works when you have to be rushed to the hospital with COVID because you're having trouble breathing. He can't stand any finger pointing at any of his weaknesses. Then if he does play the sick card, the conspiracy stories would start. I may be wrong. but I don't expect a fake sick call out for this trial.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

I remember he was immediately given the antiviral remdesivir and also administered monoclonal antibodies to covid 19. They weren't available to everyone back then, but that combo would have saved a lot more lives if given early enough in the infection. At any rate, he definitely would think twice about using a medical excuse after insulting Biden for imaginary health problems.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

I believe tfg “played the American people “ with his faux act of Covid illness as well. Maybe he had a mental breakdown ? That mental breakdown has continued to this day……

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Donna Boutilier's avatar

I think it's up to the voters. Do a massive housecleaning at State, municipal, federal, etc. Burn the entire hive of dishonest, corrupt greedy people. That horrible MTG, Gaetz, spoiled rich and think they are invincible.

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Judy Luchsinger's avatar

We urgently need this 'housecleaning'.

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Ellis Weiner's avatar

Lawrence O'Donnell did a thorough riff on how Trump's face, with its troweled-on mudpack but neglected "pink" ears, will be the only "testimony" jurors will get from him, for every day of the trial. (Assuming his lawyers refuse to let him testify, which is a good bet.) Some of the people he hates (Stormy, Michael Cohen, etc.) will testify, and it will be fun to watch Trump try to control himself and not try to shout them down.

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Marty's avatar

I predict he will end up being put in a separate room with closed circuit TV as a result of not being able to control himself.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

A Hannibal Lecter outfit would be nice.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Judge Drunkie! I choked on my toast. 😂 And that AI Image of the orange asshole in armor is proof these people are mentally ill. Along with the idiot in Maine...WTF??? Religion is inside our government and thats a big fucking problem. Anxiously awaiting Monday to get the real party started...as Trump encouraged violence in his fundraising email. We'll see if his cult responds. 🤦‍♀️

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

They’re getting tired of his always grubbing for money. Most small dollar donors have stopped sending it.

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arne link's avatar

They are probably broke. Choosing bread over entertainment, I guess.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Remember the old expression: Sober as a judge, but you can't find a sober judge.😆😆

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL 😂😂

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Hey Jeff, AZ resident here…. It’s seems with all the talk about AZ reverting to an 1864 law concerning abortion one fact the msm keeps missing. The fact that if you were to read the statute you would discover that the age for female consent is 10 years old…now let that sink in fellow travelers.. every time a MAGA speaks to me about how great the 1864 law is….i love to point this out and ask them are you planning to marry a 10 year old? All I get from them is…”I didn’t know that was part of the statute”…my response is…learn to read for yourself… Another point… opium was legal in the Arizona Territory in 1864, so I guess it’s legal now, using MAGA logic…. Good Times, amiright? Best to you and fellow travelers.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Well the guy that wrote it was a pedo, Jeff covered that last week.

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Kay-El's avatar

1. I can’t even call Maria a dim bulb. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

2. Yeah, god is so pissed about abortion they’re even allowing red states and formally red states to get abortion protection enshrined in their constitutions with no plagues, frogs or floods happening.

3. Agent Orange’s Halloween costume is quite the get-up. It must hurt to have all his flab squished up in that armor. I’m crying, alright, with laughter.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Is he wearing his Golden Sneakers with his Golden Armor Girdle?

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antlisa1201's avatar

It makes him very itchy but he can’t scratch through that metal.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

How does the mango moron change his diaper? Asking for a fellow never trumper..

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Helen Meadors's avatar

Jeff : you cheer me up! So glad you have revived my high school favorite insult: DIPSHIT. In my youthful innocence I truly believed the dipshits would be overwhelmed by us Hippies because they were so arrogant and were sooooo uncool.

Too bad: The Karl Roves et al took over. The GOP 100% dipshits and worse! Praying in tongues?

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Sharon Saulnier's avatar

My favorite was Shitass!!😂 now let’s hope it doesn’t take them forever to select the jury!

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Judy Luchsinger's avatar

That's okay if it takes a long time. Dipshit has to sit there being controlled by the judge and he won't be able to do it. I can't wait to see contempt of court consequences.

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Sharon Saulnier's avatar

I’m sure he won’t be able to keep his bigly mouth shut!! Can’t wait to see him go down!!!

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JENNIFER's avatar

God damn, he could really use some of those YouTube Makeup tutorials produced by drag queens!!

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Judy Luchsinger's avatar

OMG that's so true. I watch them because they know how to apply makeup properly.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

You can always tell who has no gay friends KellyAnne Conjob ,and her cryptkeeper straw mane for instance, and ditto for Perjury Traitor-Peen. Sarah Huckster-Sanders and her couch-upholstery fashion taste.

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Burke's avatar

America desperately needs a federal law mandating a civics knowledge test and a reasoning ability test to apply for any public office. City, County, State, Federal. There are too many ignorant idiots in offices of public trust. (See the list of 147 Objectors.)

The Naturalization Test would be appropriate for the civics exam. Our immigrant citizens know more about our government than many of the elected office holders.

https://www.uscis.gov/citizenship/learn-about-citizenship/the-naturalization-interview-and-test

And a basic reasoning ability test.

https://www.123test.com/logical-reasoning-test/

Candidates who haven't learned American History and Government or are too stupid to be rational, don't qualify.

(I'm forwarding this to my members of Congress.)

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

Great idea!

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Carol's avatar

Oh my goodness, Jeff! Your cartoon clip helped me figure it out! We are rapidly becoming a nation of Wile E. Coyotes! Kind of wish I owned stock in ACME, but on the other hand…

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Lynn Stolp's avatar

This was a head-shaking, eye-rolling, WTAF kind of roundup. Thanks, Jeff. I have to humbly submit one more REALLY stupid thing for consideration. I was so gobsmacked...I know, I know, nothing should surprise me with these half-wits...I went all the way to the source (house.gov) to find out it's true. What's on the docket for the ever-so-productive House this coming week: H.R. 6192 — Hands Off Our Home Appliances Act, H.R. 7673 — Liberty in Laundry Act, H.R. 7645 — Clothes Dryers Reliability Act, H.R. 7637 — Refrigerator Freedom Act, H.R. 7626 — Affordable Air Conditioning Act, and last but not least H.R. 7700 — Stop Unaffordable Dishwasher Standards Act. I am fucking serious...these are actual bills that our so-called representatives in Congress are going to discuss!! Taxpayer dollars right down the low-flow toilets. Although, I was hoping the Liberty in Laundry act might free me from doing laundry ever again? Alas...silly me. But I am going to tie down my refrigerator...sorry, bud, no freedom for you! I'm even more furious at the MSM who won't cover this total fucknuttery.

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Darrell Smith's avatar

Take away the black Tahoe and Suburban garages, the jet, all the fake Supreme Ruler of the Universe crap, the Secret Service that he stole, and you have a whiny, slimy, disgusting excuse for a grown senior adult. Can't even call him an adult or grown because of the way he acts.

Someone who has to brag and lie about everything can't do it and doesn't have it.

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Dan Beach's avatar

"Eclipse Day" so encapsulated the Insanities of the right wing: Sarah Sanders' frantic "state of emergency"; Fox News' "opportunity for smugglers" during the 4-minutes of lunar darkness (so great for Jeff to point out that we have a thing called "night," at least once a day); and sad Maria, whose stridency is painful, and whose cozying up to Warren Buffet, and precipitous fall from high-visibility on Financial News, has turned her into damaged merchandise. All these, and many more, are trying to create an "isn't it awful" reaction from the MAGAhats. Do they not realize that they are creating a whole new comedy genre for the rest of us.

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un poco loco's avatar

Jay Kuo reported on eclipse-related stuff on his substack... my favorite (other than the NASA Moon account actually blocking the NASA Sun & Space account on Xitter) was the guy who talked about a missed opportunity -- ordering a bunch of blow-up sex dolls, filling them with helium, and setting them loose to make the MAGAts think they completely missed the Rapture. OMG, I WISH someone had done this. (Yeah, I know -- not environmentally responsible, but sometimes extreme measures are called for when you're fighting a foe so ridiculous.)

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

The helium blow up dolls (escaped from the open back of a delivery truck) was actually an episode on the wonderful series ‘6 Feet Under’. Yes, a religious nut thought the rapture was underway and ran, in a religious fervor, into a busy street. She was struck by a moving car and presumably went straight to her creator.

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SeekingReason's avatar

I’ll have to find that episode and watch! Thanks!

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

6 Feet Under is one of my favorite things ever. I admit to watching the entire series 3 times!

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SeekingReason's avatar

👍🏼 Looking forward to it!

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un poco loco's avatar

cannot believe I forgot this -- thanks! (going to have to watch the whole series again, darn it!)

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

You will NOT be disappointed! Masterful writing, casting, and acting ❤️

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Dan Beach's avatar

Yes. I loved the blow-up dolls idea. Also considered, staying inside and putting a lot of clothes out on the front lawn. Though that might have been too obscure.

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un poco loco's avatar

I was just thinking about doing this the week before the eclipse! The house next door to me is empty at the moment, so that was my first thought -- I just didn't want those neighbors to get in trouble with the county sheriff's office (not outside the realm of possibility in today's Texas.)

But I do wish I'd remembered someone who lives a few houses away before Monday -- she's extremely unpleasant and of course she's a Trump supporter. She actually stands out in her yard and yells at people who aren't doing what she thinks they should, and she carries on a feud with a family that put a small "BLM" sign up in a front window. (She has been trying to get it forcibly removed, or at least to sue them and get damages for having to look at it. With her around, who needs NextDoor?)

If I'd remembered her, I *would* have put some "vacated" clothing in her yard, just to let her explain it to the sheriff's dept -- making sure to include at least one really tacky but provocative negligee, prominently displayed lol...

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SeekingReason's avatar

😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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