the raccoons in elderly golfer’s head have chewed through all the wires
and the press continues to sleepwalk through it
hey, remember ‘Joe Biden is old?’
for a while there, it was all the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media could talk about. did you see how old Joe Biden was today? how can anyone be that old? so fucking old. how is he even still alive?
for the better part of last year, the press hounded Biden about his age and mental acuity. prove you’re not dead right now, Joe. they blew it up into the biggest story of the century. meanwhile, Donny Convict — the deteriorating demento who babbled incessantly about batteries and sharks and Hannibal Lecter wants to have you for dinner — got an eternal free pass.
Joe’s enjoying the shit out of his retirement now.
in his place sits Donny. in just seven weeks, he’s completely wrecked the joint — and he still can’t go five minutes without mouthfarting the world’s craziest batshit. and the press? crickets. they still can’t be bothered to care.
imagine that Sleepy Joe had confused federal for fetanyl.
reporter: “how concerned are you that the large-scale federal government layoffs will weaken the labor market?”
Donny: “the large-scale fentanyl what?”
dude’s got fentanyl on the brain. the reporter clarified what she’d said — but don’t you wish she hadn’t? I’d have paid good money to watch Donny sit there and concoct a cockamamie response to the urgent problem of ‘fentanyl government layoffs.’
“it’s terrible, just terrible what Canada’s doing to us. all the fentanyl. no one’s ever seen anything like it. but Elon’s been finding so much fraud and waste with the layoffs, and we’re going to be looking at it very strongly, and we’ll see what happens.”
it’s just another day in Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepantsland — and the press is still sanewashing the shit out of it.
Since storming back into office, Mr. Trump has used a dizzying rhetorical tactic of shifting positions like quicksand, muddying his messages and contradicting himself, sometimes in the same day. The inconsistencies have presented the American public with dueling narratives at every turn, allowing people to pick and choose what they want to believe about the president’s intentions.
the Times is not wrong about the cultists being hoodwinked into believing what they want to believe — and kudos the worthless scribs for finally putting the words ‘outright lies’ in a subhead — but they make it sound like Donny’s incoherence is part of some cunning grand plan.
Donny doesn’t plan — he reacts. he’ll see something on Fox News — or Nosferatu McGoebbels will pop his head into the Oval Office and blurt something — and off goes Donny to the races, inventing a response then and there. doesn’t matter if it contradicts what Donny said twenty minutes ago. Donny can’t even remember what he said twenty minutes ago.
there is no cunning. there is no plan. there’s just that family of raccoons that live inside Donny’s big vacant head, indiscriminately chewing through the wires.
how else can you explain this perfectly normal request from our perfectly normal President of the United States?
President Donald Trump asked “alarmed” aides for the original Declaration of Independence to be moved to the Oval Office, according to a report.
The historic and treasured document is displayed at the National Archives Building in Washington, D.C., where it has been housed since 1952 behind an argon-filled glass case under heavy security.
In recent days, Trump asked those in his inner circle about moving it to the Oval Office, according to the Atlantic, citing people familiar with the conversations.
where does Donny even come up with this shit?
remember, this is the guy whose financial empire collapsed all around him because he got mesmerized from fondling fabric swatches, when he was supposed to be listening to his accountants.
god knows why he now wants to fondle the Declaration of Independence while the country collapses all around him.
can you imagine what the Declaration would look like after a few months in Donny’s freakishly undersized hands? ketchup stains. makeup smears. a faint ring from the time Donny rested his diet coke on it. snots from the Space Nazi’s kid.
don’t try to tell me Donny wouldn’t take his sharpie and scrawl his psychotic klan-hood signature all over it.
take that, John Fucking Hancock.
why can’t Donny just get a cat to fondle, like every other arch-villain in the world?
fortunately, Team Donny managed to distract Dear Leader by waving some shiny object in front of his face.
To their relief, however, conversations have now moved to the prospect of moving a historical copy of the document instead of the original to the Oval Office.
and so the Declaration lives on for at least one more day.
Donny doesn’t have a horse, so he can’t make it a senator, like Caligula did, but he can do the next best thing: name his butler to the board of the Naval Academy.
President Donald Trump is nominating his close allies to serve on the board of visitors for the U.S. Naval Academy, a month after firing the previous board.
On the list is Walt Nauta, a Navy veteran who has served as Trump’s body man and was federally indicted alongside the now-president in the classified documents case.
it’s Wally the Naut, the dude best known for helping Donny hide a shitter full of our nation’s most-closely guarded secrets.
in the White House, Walt was literally this guy.
He was responsible for responding to the presidential call button, including when the president requested Diet Cokes, which Nauta would bring to Trump on a silver platter.
Donny’s rewarded his butler by making all those federal classified document charges against him go fuckity-bye, and giving him a cush government job.
I’d love to see what Walt’s ‘tell me five things you did last week or you’re fired’ email looks like.
brought the president a diet coke
brought the president a diet coke
brought the president—
oh my god, look who else is on the list of appointees.
Trump also nominated his former press secretary Sean Spicer, former White House physician Rep. Ronny Jackson (R-Texas) known as “Doc Ronny,” and former Navy SEAL Rep. Derrick Van Orden (R-Wis.).
it’s Ronny Jackson, the president’s day-drunk pill-mill doctor! so now if anyone at the Naval Academy needs a little pick-me-up, they’ve got a hookup.
but wait — Donny isn’t done naming unqualified cronies to the boards of important institutions.
WASHINGTON, March 7 (Reuters) - U.S. President Donald Trump said on Friday he was appointing Fox News host Laura Ingraham and Fox Business anchor Maria Bartiromo to the board of the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.
The moves represented a takeover by Trump of a cultural institution that is known for its signature Kennedy Center Honors performances and is home to the National Symphony Orchestra and the Washington National Opera.
because when I think of culture, two election-denying Fox News hatemongers are who immediately comes to mind.
has Maria Bartiromo ever been to the symphony? is Laura Ingraham an opera fan? Donny could give a shit. that’s not what’s important. what matters is that there are loyalists in all levels of government — and culture.
so now, when it comes time to decide who’s more deserving of the the Mark Twain Prize — Joe Rogan, or the dipshit who called Puerto Rico a floating island of garbage — Laura and Maria will be the big brains doing the choosing.
and, by the way —
Laura’s a fucking trailblazer. she did her ahem Roman salute nine years ago.
here’s your caption of the day.
bro. too much information.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
welcome to the Sunday wrap-up, also know as "here's all the shit left over from the previous weeks' posts that I didn't have room for"
JFC! "Fist Lady"???? I'm now worthless for the rest of the day. 😂😂😂
I read about the Declaration of Independence thing...my heart sank. I thought, he's going to destroy every SINGLE thing. He's really got to go, somehow. Maybe Al Greens Impeachment effort will toss some sand into the moving parts? It's an ongoing nightmare.