The New York Times finally notices that elderly golfer’s brain has gone fuckity-bye

more like this, please

when they write the book about the 2024 election, there should be an entire chapter about how The New York Times purposely dropped the ball.

defending democracy is not our job, insists Times’ Newsroom Editor Joe Kahn. nepo-publisher Arthur Gregg Sulzberger has very openly waged a one-man jihad against Joe Biden, for the high crime of refusing to sit for the one-on-one interview that Sulz believed was his birthright — a jihad that he has now transferred to Kamala Harris after she, too, declined to be interviewed.

just last week, the fuckery continued. check out how the Times covered Jack Smith’s bombshell 165-page filing detailing how Donny Convict crimed his ass off after losing the 2020 election. oh sure, they put the story on their front page — but look where.

that’s it, squeezed up there in the left corner. “NEW JAN. 6 FILING ADDS WIDER LIST OF CONSPIRATORS.”

no mention of Donny’s name. no photo. a vague headline that could be about anything. and somehow, the Times imagines that the number of conspirators is the most important thing about the filing — not that Jack Smith has proof of Donny’s crimes.

what the fuck?

let’s compare that to how the Times covered Hillary’s emails.

oh look. a big photo of Hillary — and every fucking story on that front page is about emails.

but Donny caught dead-to-rights trying to hang his vice president and overturn the election he lost? no biggie. let’s just shove the story into the upper left corner and hope no one notices. move along, nothing to see here.

all of this is why everyone did a double-take when yesterday, The New York Times actually committed a journalism. (that’s a gift link, so you can click through to read it, even if you don’t subscribe.)

here we have a long, well-researched and detailed accounting of Donny’s cognitive decline over the past five years.

He rambles, he repeats himself, he roams from thought to thought — some of them hard to understand, some of them unfinished, some of them factually fantastical. He voices outlandish claims that seem to be made up out of whole cloth. He digresses into bizarre tangents about golf, about sharks, about his own “beautiful” body. He relishes “a great day in Louisiana” after spending the day in Georgia. He expresses fear that North Korea is “trying to kill me” when he presumably means Iran. As late as last month, Mr. Trump was still speaking as if he were running against President Biden, five weeks after his withdrawal from the race.

they actually printed numerous transcriptions of Donny’s incoherent word salad.

“So we built a thing called the Panama Canal,” he told the conservative host Tucker Carlson last year. “We lost 35,000 people to the mosquito, you know, malaria. We lost 35,000 people building — we lost 35,000 people because of the mosquito. Vicious. They had to build under nets. It was one of the true great wonders of the world. As he said, ‘One of the nine wonders of the world.’ No, no, it was one of the seven. It just happened a little while ago. You know, he says, ‘Nine wonders of the world.’ You could make nine wonders. He would’ve been better off if he stuck with the nine and just said, ‘Yeah, I think it’s nine.’”

so now we know that the Times can do actual, critical reporting when they want to— but will they keep it up, or will this story be just one more flash in the pan?

the Times kind of gives away the game, right up in the second paragraph of the article.

And it was hardly the only time Mr. Trump has seemed confused, forgetful, incoherent or disconnected from reality lately. In fact, it happens so often these days that it no longer even generates much attention.

and that’s the problem. Donny’s cognitive decline and nonstop fuckery no longer generates much attention.

we’ve seen this over and over.

remember when Donny went Full Hitler and accused immigrants of “poisoning the blood” of America? that episode was so egregious that the entire media ecosystem took notice — but in the end, it was a one-day story in the press.

when Donny’s thugs manhandled an Army officer while Donny was desecrating gravesites at Arlington National Cemetery, that too was a story the press couldn’t ignore. but again, it was a one-and-done. Team Trump promised to release video proving their side of the story. they never did, and the press never followed up on it.

now they’ve done it again with Jack Smith’s filing. right now, a month before the election, proof of Donny’s crimes should be the biggest story in the country — but it’s not. the media spent a half a day on it, and then moved on.

this a much bigger story than Hillary’s fucking emails. where is the sustained coverage? where are the editorials calling for Donny to drop out?

we know the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media can do sustained coverage when they want to.

think back to Joe Biden’s poor performance in his debate with Donny. the media had a field day with that. they turned into a weeks-long feeding frenzy. the day after, the entire Times editorial page consisted of five op-eds calling for Joe to drop out.

every rando came crawling out of the woodwork with their own personal cockamamie fever dream about open conventions and flash primaries presided over by Taylor Swift and Oprah — and the press dutifully printed all of it.

but the crime of the century?

crickets.

fuck off, the press is too busy getting to the bottom of Tim Walz’s anecdotes about Tiananmen Square. what are you hiding, Tim?

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Donny held another hate-rally yesterday. The New York Times could fill another whole edition with all the crazy that oozed out of Donny’s putrid anus-mouth.

move over, sharks and boats and batteries. Donny’s got a new obsession he doesn’t understand the first thing about.

“and the new thing is hydrogen cars. you heard me talking about it. hydrogen cars is the new thing, it’s got one problem. it’s got one problem. it’s very violent. if it blows up, they won’t— you are not recognizable. ‘please come down and identify your husband. there’s a bloodstain on a tree, can you identify it.’”

but Donny, what if I’m driving my hydrogen car over here, and there’s a shark over there, and I’m in a hurry to get to Hannibal Lecter’s house, because he’s invited me over for dinner? what do I do?

here’s Donny taking credit for something he had no part in.

“but they want Starlink. so I said, whatever it is, let’s s— I called Elon, I said— and you can’t get h— really popular, very hard to get. but they need it and they need big doses of it, like fast, and I’m calling Elon and said ‘Elon, in North Carolina and parts of Georgia’ — and the Governor is doing a very good job by the way in Georgia, I have to say, a very good job — but in parts of Georgia, in parts of Georgia and in real big parts of North Carolina they need something called Starlink. I don’t know what the hell that is.”

never fear, Georgia and North Carolina, Donny’s on the case, serving up your “big doses” of something that he doesn’t even know “what the hell that is.”

yeah, Donny — no.

this cannot be overstated: Donny is not helping with the Helene disaster recovery — he’s hindering it by doling out lies about FEMA. so is his lackey, Holy Mike Johnson.

“At the federal level, this has been a massive failure. And you can just ask the people there on the ground. I have been there. I was in Georgia. I was in Florida, where Hurricane Helene made landfall, there on the coast. And then we’ll be going to the hardest hit parts of North Carolina on Wednesday of this week,” Johnson told Shannon Bream on “Fox News Sunday.”

fuck straight off, Holy Mike. stop trying to score political points off a natural disaster.

in fact, let’s talk to the people on the ground — Republicans who actually live in the states affected by the hurricane. Republicans like Tom Tillis.

Sen. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.) said recently that he was impressed with the federal response, noting North Carolina’s impact was not expected to be as severe as it was.

“For anybody who thinks that any level of government, anybody here, could have been prepared precisely for what we’re dealing with here, clearly are clueless,” Tillis said. “But right now, I’m out here to say that we’re doing a good job.”

and Lindsey Graham.

Bates also quoted Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), who said, “This is an incredible experience for me. So, to President Biden, thank you for coming. Thank you for paying attention to our needs. We have had a good working relationship between the federal government.”

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finally, if you’re currently hunkering down in a disaster zone and you see this man bringing you bags of bay leaves, please contact the Badly-Rendered AI Police.

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