the corporate media wants you panicked and demoralized. don’t buy into it

don’t fall for their fuckery

the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media have finally found a subject they don’t want to both-sides — it’s now all-Joe-Biden’s-brain-all-the-time.

every political journalist in America is now on Joe Biden Slip-Up Watch, waiting to pounce on his next micro-gaffe as proof that see? we told you: Joe Biden is old and out of it and he smells bad, too.

meanwhile, the actual demento in the race — the blithering dimwit who thinks that battery-powered sharks have it in for Hannibal Lecter because of all the woke — continues to get a free pass.

at the same time, there’s a second game afoot. the press is also working overtime to make you believe there’s no hope — that Joe Biden’s days are numbered, and that he can’t possibly win. that every Democrat in America has it out for him — that the target on his back is so large he probably won’t even make it to the convention.

the goal here is to thoroughly demoralize you to the point where you just give up. the corporate-controlled media would fucking love a Trump victory. think of the clicks! think of the ad revenue! think of the tax cuts! for fuck’s sake, The New York Times isn’t even hiding it. they’re coming right out and telling you your vote doesn’t matter, so why even bother?

don’t fall for their fuckery.

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check out the framing on this journalist atrocity from CBS News.

oh my god! FOUR House Democrats want Joe Biden to drop out! it’s a groundswell! it’s a fucking movement!

here’s a better headline for this story:

“98.2% of House Democrats say Biden should stay in presidential race, sources say”

it’s a better headline because there are 213 Democrats in the House right now, meaning four of them comprise only 1.8% of the body.

remember, these are Democrats. to get 98.2% of them to agree on anything is fucking amazing. you can’t get 98.2% of Democrats to agree on naming a post office.

Will Rogers had a famous quote: “I am not a member of any organized political party. I’m a Democrat.” he said that 90 years ago, and the Democrats have not improved one lick since then.

so when you read a headline that tells you that Four House Democrats Think Sleepy Joe Sucks All Ass, your reaction should be “that’s nice. get back to me when it’s thirty.”

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in the media’s rush to see who can take the stinkiest dump on Joe Biden’s head, there’s a lot of shitty reporting going on.

here’s a fun thing that happened yesterday. in their version of the “Four House Democrats” story, the Washington Post identified the four culprits.

Those who forcefully made the case for the president to drop his reelection bid were: Reps. Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.), Joseph Morelle (D-N.Y.), Ted Lieu (D-Calif.) and Adam Smith (D-Wash.), according to the three on the call who were granted anonymity to discuss a private meeting.

solid reportage, except for the part where they got it wrong.

it wasn’t Ted Lieu, it was Mark Tanako.

A previous news alert incorrectly said that Rep. Ted Lieu was among the House Democrats who said on a private call Sunday that they wanted President Biden to end his reelection campaign. Lieu was on the call but said he did not speak. The post has been corrected.

oopsies! I guess to the Washington Post, all Asians sound alike.

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in the mad to dash shitcan Joe Biden, everybody and their sister has their own great idea about how easily he can be replaced. and when I say great idea, I mean get ready to read the stupidest fucking thing ever.

ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Blitz Primary!

here’s how it works.

• Biden would step down as the Democratic nominee in mid-July, and announce the new system, with backing from Vice President Kamala Harris.

• Potential candidates would have a few days to throw their respective hats in the ring. The Democratic Party then would begin a primary sprint in which the six candidates who receive the most votes from delegates pledge to run positive-only campaigns in the month leading up to the convention.

• The “blitz primary” would involve weekly forums with each candidate moderated by cultural icons (Michelle Obama, Oprah, and Taylor Swift are among the names floated in the memo) in order to engage voters.

what’s the looniest part of this swampy fever dream? that Kamala would sign off on it, that candidates would run “positive only” campaigns, or that Taylor Swift would want any part of this batshit nightmare?

actual Democratic consultants came up with this plan, folks. these are the genuises getting paid to tell the Dems the way forward.

where do they find these people?

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look, I don’t know how this is going to play out — no one does. I’m still backing Joe Biden, and hoping he can ride out the storm. if he can’t, I’ll be fully behind whoever gets the nomination, whether it be Kamala Harris or Gavin Newsom or JoJo the Dog Face Boy.

but let’s not kid ourselves that replacing Biden would be a walk in the park. it would be a fucking shit-show. again, these are Democrats we’re talking about. they’re not going to line up behind anybody. it’s going to be weeks of infighting. it’s going to be chaos. human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA.

and the press will be right there the whole time — egging them on, eating it up, rooting for chaos and magnifying every second of it.

DEMS IN DISARRAY! if there’s one story the media can’t get enough of it’s DEMS IN DISARRAY! — and an open convention would be Dems in disarray on steriods.

if it’s Kamala who gets the nod — and make no mistake, she would be a fucking great president, I hope I get to vote for her in 2028 — don’t expect the press to pat the Democrats on the head and say awesome job, folks. nope, they’re going to turn on Kamala and go after her with all the vigor with which they’re now attacking Biden. she’s out of touch. no one likes her. she’s awkward. she can’t connect with people.

when did she know about Joe’s dementia and why is she hiding it? (for fuck’s sake, they’re already pestering her about this imaginary scandal.)

they’ll do that with whoever the Dems end up with. Gavin Newsom, he’s a pretty-boy California elite. JoJo the Dog Face Boy, what’s with all that hair?

then there’s this: let’s say that Biden dropped out of the race today. that eighty million dollars he’s raised does not magically transfer to the new nominee. no, that money gets returned to the donors — the exception being if Kamala’s the new choice — and Gavin or JoJo will have to start from scratch with 0 in the bank.

so let’s not kid ourselves that we can replace Biden just like that, congratulate ourselves on a job well done, and get on with life.

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you knew it was only a matter of time before the clownfuckers got into the act.

“I’m calling on President Joe Biden’s physician, Dr. Kevin O’Connor, to appear for a @GOPoversight transcribed interview regarding his medical assessments of Joe Biden & involvement in the Biden family’s business schemes. Dr. O’Connor’s medical assessments have been potentially influenced by his business pursuits with the Biden family.”

oh fuck straight off, Comer Fudd, you ambulance-chasing hog-romancer.

you gotta love how Fever-Dream Jimmy has shoehorned Biden’s doctor into the whole Biden Crime Family conspiracy.

“To understand the extent of his involvement in the Biden family’s business schemes, I’m also seeking all documents and communications in his possession regarding Americore and James Biden.”

by the way, Joe Biden’s official medical report — dated February 28, 2024 — is public record. it’s on the White House web site for anyone to read. you do know how to read, don’t you, Jimmy?

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Joe Biden has made fifteen public appearances since the debate.

meanwhile, the hardest-working man in politics hasn’t been on the campaign trail for ten days. here’s how Sharky McDoughboy spent his weekend.

why are they keeping this demented old fool out of sight? what are they hiding from the American people?

folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.