terrified elderly golfer melts all the way down on his crappy app

and once again, the press utterly fails to meet the moment

the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media have since forever been holding our nation’s presidential candidates to two very different standards.

Democratic candidates are expected to run flawless, letter-perfect campaigns. the smallest gaffes are blown up into weeks-long “scandals.” policies are picked over with the finest of fine-toothed combs. should a Dem propose any sort of plan, they’re expected to account for every penny.

you’re going to give free lunches to schoolchildren? where are you going to get the money? WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GET THE FUCKING MONEY???

Democratic candidates are expected to bend to the whims of the press. where is our interview? we demand you sit for an interview! IT IS OUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT!!!

and then there’s the press’s newest abomination: the in-the-tank-for-the-other-side quote-unquote “fact-check.” yes, your opponent is on tape saying women who get abortions should be punished. but he says he didn’t mean it, so why are you still saying it?

meanwhile, the other candidate — Little Donny Convict — regularly empties the contents of his diaper into a blender and sprays it all the fuck over the place.

how does the press react? they just pat the little darling on the head and go yeah, that’s just Donny being Donny, whatcha gonna do?

yesterday morning, under the pressure of cratering polls and shrinking crowds — and the news that Jack Smith had re-indicted him for his January 6th crimes — Donny snapped, and had a complete fucking meltdown on his failing app.

in a space of thirty minutes, Donny posted over thirty times.

he posted fawning fan art.

he posted QAnon lunacy.

he posted a call for the January 6th Committee to be indicted.

he posted a call for Jack Smith to be indicted.

he posted more obsequious fan art.

he posted whatever the fuck this childish ass-hattery is supposed to be.

and then, finally, there was this abomination.

lovely. just lovely.

it seems quaint to look back on it, but there was a time when this kind of psychotic break with reality — not to mention the outright vile misogyny — would be the immediate end of a politician’s career. but the press must have been fast asleep at 8:30 in the morning, because they somehow managed to miss Donny’s brain once again going fuckity-bye.

later in the day, The New York Times, to their credit, ran a story with an unusually (for them) accurate headline:

but then they immediately shit their own bed with this:

Though he has a history of making crass insults about his opponents, the reposts signal Mr. Trump’s willingness to continue to shatter longstanding norms of political speech.

shatter? how about violate? or defile?

casting Donny’s malignant misogyny, racism, and general batshit insanity as a “willingness to shatter norms” makes it sound like he’s some kind of cool rebel.

Donny Convict doesn’t play by your squaresville rules of politics, man.

that wasn’t the only journalistic atrocity committed by the Times yesterday. they finally reported on Donny’s other recent quote-unquote shattering of norms — his desecration of hallowed ground at Arlington National Cemetery.

did the Times’ reporting use the photo of Donny grinning like an idiot and giving a graveside thumbs up, the one that has every decent human being outraged?

no, they fucking did not. they used a propagandistic photo that was spoon-fed to them by the Trump Campaign.

look at this shit.

what’s the big deal, the Times is telegraphing by using this wildly misleading photo. Donny’s laying a wreath — and oh look, there’s a woman in a wheelchair. why are Democrats complaining about this great patriot showing his compassion for our disabled and fallen heroes?

we’re learning more about the Team Trump-perpetrated assault that took place at Arlington.

A woman who works at the cemetery filed an incident report with the military authorities over the altercation. But the official, who has not been identified, later declined to press charges. Military officials said she feared Mr. Trump’s supporters pursuing retaliation.

isn’t that charming? Donny’s thugs assaulted an Army staff member — a woman — who was only trying to do her job. and now she has to remain anonymous and decline to press charges because we all know that Donny’s deranged cultists will make her life a living hell if she does.

In the aftermath of the Monday altercation, the Army has closed the matter, after the Arlington official declined to press charges.

case closed. well, I guess that’s that.

pro tip: allowing Donny’s thugs get away with crimes because you fear the wrath of the violent morons who worship him is literally how fascism works.

it’s perfectly understandable that this woman does not want her entire life turned upside down in the pursuit of justice — no one should be criticizing her for that — but this is how fascists win.

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now this is hilarious.

DONALD TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN is set to run cable news ads this week so they can be seen at the ex-president’s Mar-a-Lago club and surrounding environs.

The South Florida expense is likely to have no impact on the course of the election. Palm Beach County is a Democratic stronghold in a Republican state that Trump has little chance of losing. But Trump’s staff is at some risk of incurring his wrath if he—and his Palm Beach pals—don’t see his ads at Mar-a-Lago, a factor that insiders say compelled the purchase.

Donny’s campaign is bleeding money — it’s mostly going to his lawyers, leaving very little left over for important things like renting venues for hate-rallies, and blanketing the country with advertising — but Team Trump is being forced to waste their dwindling funds on emotional support ads so overgrown man-baby Donny can feel good about himself.

he’s such a bizarre fucking freak. do we really need this truculent toddler in charge of a nuclear arsenal?

Team Kamala, on the other hand, has all the money right now — so much so that they can use a little bit of it just to troll their opponent.

WHEN KAMALA HARRIS’S PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN announced a new attack ad Tuesday, the vice president’s strategists made sure to run it in every battleground state —as well as a single media market in Florida: the one that includes Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach.

In this case, the ad placement itself was the message.

here’s the ad.

there’s going to be a ketchup tornado inside Motel-a-Lago when Donny sees this, because the ad squarely hangs Project 2025 around his neck, and brings the receipts while doing so.

remember, Team Kamala isn’t just trolling Donny by running this ad in Palm Beach — they’re airing it in every battleground state — because everyone needs to know about the democracy-ending dangers of Project 2025, and everyone need to know how Donny’s fingerprints are all over it.

Team Kamala is so fucking good at their jobs.

now if only the press would do their jobs, the 2024 presidential race wouldn’t even be close.