Taco Donny shits the bed in Davos

readings from the Art of the Imaginary Deal

hey — remember Taco Donny, the blustering dipshit who loved to announce he was tariffing the living fuck out of whichever country had hurt his feelings on any particular day?

remember what would happen next? the Dow Jones would crater, and a panicked Donny would chicken out and announce the tariffs were off — causing Dow to rebound. the narcissistic shitwit would then praise himself for having ‘saved’ the stock market.

well, Taco Donny’s baaaaack, baby. he showed up in Davos yesterday — and quite predictably, folded like a pack of cards.

before we get to that, check out this exhausted, shambling mess.

holy shit, maybe Donny should have given himself a day to rest up before speaking to the world. I’m sorry, but this deteriorating old dotard no longer has the stamina to fly halfway across the globe, step off the plane and head straight to the podium.

and let’s be frank: Donny’s didn’t just shit the bed with his Davos speech — he laid there and rolled around in the mess.

“and then after the war, which we won, we won it big. without us, right now you’d all be speaking German and a little Japanese, perhaps. after the war, we gave Greenland back— to Denmark. how stupid were we to do that? but we did it. but we gave it back. how ungrateful are they now? so now our country— and the world face much greater risks than it did ever before because of— missiles, because of nuclear— because of weapons of warfare that I can’t even talk about.”

I’m sorry, draft dodger says what?

how did the assembled world leaders not stand up en masse and walk out on Donny, after being insulted like that?

this pure loudmouth-at-the-end-of-the-bar-level ignorance. we didn’t single-handedly win World War Two. and what the fuck is this nonsense about how we ‘gave Greenland back’? Greenland has never, ever once been ours, not for five seconds. what is have is the right to establish military bases there. that’s all. who is filling Donny’s ears with this fever-swamp nonsense?

---

here’s a pro tip for you all: when you’re an out-of-control, imperialistic bastard, hell-bent on world domination, it helps if you can remember which country you’re super horny to attack next.

“I don’t know that they’d be there for us. they’re not there for us on Iceland, that I can tell you. our stock market took the first dip yesterday because of Iceland. so Iceland’s already cost us a lot of money.”

no, not Iceland — Greenland. you stupid demented fuck, get it right.

at least three times, Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants confused Iceland with Greenland. he really shouldn’t be on the world stage. not any more — not when what he really needs is to be handed a pudding cup, and then helped to bed.

but more importantly, did you notice Donny whining about how he doesn’t know if NATO would ‘be there for us’? Donny’s got a huge bug up his ass because in his rotting mind, all NATO does is take from the United States, never helping us in return. so unfair! so ungrateful!

of course, that’s a load of horse shit — and here’s NATO’s Secretary General Mark Rutte to fact-check Donny to his face, in real time.

“there’s one thing I heard you say yesterday and today, you were not absolutely sure that Europeans would come to the rescue of the US, if you would be attacked. let me tell you: they will. and they did in Afghanistan, as you know. for every two Americans who paid the ultimate price, there was one soldier from another NATO country who didn’t come back to his family. from the Netherlands, from Denmark in particular, from other countries, so you can be assured, absolutely, if ever the US were to be under attack, your allies will be with you, absolutely, they absolutely, I really want to tell you this because this is important. it pains me if you think it is not.”

---

how completely fucking embarrassing is it to watch America’s Bigot-in-Chief hector other countries for being insufficiently racist?

“certain places in Europe are not even recognizable, frankly, any more. they’re not. we can argue about it, but there’s no argument. friends come back from different places. I don’t want to insult anybody, and say ‘I don’t recognize it.’ and that’s not in a positive way, that’s in a very negative way. and I love Europe, and I want to see Europe go good. but it’s not heading in the right direction.”

shut the fuck up, Piggy.

what a great idea it was to let a racist game show host in severe cognitive decline become president. you know what Donny means when he says ‘unrecognizable,’ don’t you? it means there aren’t enough white people any more, not like in the good old days. ugh. just ugh.

hey, you want to talk about what’s really unrecognizable? America. I mean, what the fuck is this?

why is Pocket Nazi Greg Bovino employing chemical weapons on the streets of an American city?

Donny, go clean up your own shit before you lecture the world about what’s recognizable.

---

the big story of the day, however, is what happened after the speech. NATO head Mark Rutte took Donny aside for a little private chat — and the next thing you know, Donny announced that he’d reached a the framework of an agreement of a sketch of a concept for a deal for Greenland, and was dropping his plan tariff all NATO countries.

when pressed for details, Donny had none.

Donny: “it looks like we pretty much have the concept of a deal.”

reporter: “a deal of ownership? a deal—”

Donny: “well, it’s a little bit complex, but we’ll explain it down the line.”

Donny couldn’t provide any details because there wasn’t any actual deal. apparently, what seems to have happened was that Donny got spooked by the stock market once again cratering, and by the European Union threatening to end all trade negotiations with the United States — at which point Taco Donny chickened the fuck out.

bawk bawk bawk!

A key group of European Parliament members blocked a vote to ratify a US-European trade deal Wednesday after President Donald Trump threatened to take over Greenland and charge as much as an additional 35% tariff on countries opposed to his ambitions.

Then, hours later, Trump called off his threat.

so now, Donny is pretending he’s reached a deal to give America the thing it already has.

Greenland’s going to let us have a military base that that’s already been sitting in Greenland for forty years — and now Donny’s going to praise himself, and pretend this is some kind of win.

how awesome. it’s the Art of the Imaginary Deal.

oh, and this alleged agreement would also give the US rights to rare earth minerals in Greenland — an idea so ludicrous that even CNN made fun of it.

there’s a reason no one has ever mined Greenland’s minerals: it’s too fucking difficult and too fucking expensive.

Researchers say it would be extremely difficult and expensive to extract Greenland’s minerals because many of the island’s mineral deposits are located in remote areas above the Arctic Circle, where there is a mile-thick polar ice sheet and darkness reigns much of the year.

but don’t try to explain any of that to Donny. he already knows more about extracting rate earth minerals than all the rare earth mineral extractors.

as always, this is all so fucking embarrassing. Donny spent weeks strutting and posturing like some penny-ante warlord, yelling at the top of his lungs about how he’s going fuck Denmark’s shit but good if they don’t fork over Greenland — only to back down at the slightest sign of push-back.

the whole world is laughing at us, when they’re not cringing in horror at our latest atrocity.

I swear, this guy never shuts the fuck up about how he’s the greatest deal-maker who ever lived — when in reality he’s a corroded old dumbfuck who would lose a round of ‘I’ve got your nose.’

---

let’s go out on a high note. let’s all laugh at the sad clown who showed up at Davos and was completely ignored by the entire world.

there’s Donny — unloved, friendless, receiving no official welcome. no adoring crowd. no delegation. not even his own flunkies bothered come out to meet him — just a pathetic red carpet his handlers had laid out so Donny wouldn’t feel like a complete piece-of-shit loser.

I can assure you, that clip isn’t AI-generated slop. here’s another angle, courtesy of Russian TV.

oof! too bad, so sad.

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

969 / 1058