201 Comments
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I'll start. "hey Jeff, doesn't anyone proofread this shit?"

yes, in fact I read everything three times and Goodwyfe Claudia will generally give it a final ok. hard to believe, I know.

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Nevermind the typos. You can proofread til the cows come home and they will appear as soon as you post. Take it from an editor. So: how come no one has made you a Wikipedia page? I was hoping to find out if you live anywhere near me upstate (you don’t) and I had to get my info from some Brit site. Made me a little sad for my country.

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I don't know, I've never understood how things are done in wikipedialand

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You should-by now-be wikipediaized. I just made that new word, think it’s a verb-adverb-idk-but you should

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He needs to be Wiki’d

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so, if youre proof-reading, then, it's safe to say your anti-capitalist leanings are intended

im an anti-punctual hate schedules

or maybe we're just ee cummings wannabes (no question mark here)

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I started following you because you were the person that said what I was thinking better than I was thinking it.. and I was a public school teacher that would have been fired (now early retired)for using my 1st Amendment rights and I also was viewing the orange facist years from the inside of a vodka bottle. I didn't know the orange facist years would continue even after the orange fascist was gone. I was naive. I come to follow you to try to stay sane.

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Lisa, retired teacher also, retired before I got fired for stating the obvious. What astounded me was as educators NCLB was a nasty practical joke on all of us. Administration, Staff, Support Staff, and Custodians. Then when federal and state funding was passed to the districts (in PA), it became less focused on IEP goals and more focused on costs. Making it less likely for a level playing field. I mentioned custodian because I witnessed a custodian put her hand on a student’s shoulder to stop him from slipping in food in the cafeteria. She got 3 days off without pay for touching a student.

So my question to Jeff: Am I the the old crotchety schoolmarm or it that nuts?

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if you're old and NOT crotchety, you haven't been paying attention

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Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I taught American government and American history 8th grade. What a total fucking shit show. Trying to be politically correct and teach the truth and then have students ask me "but teacher, why isn't the Senate doing its job? Why is that fuck hole Mitch McConnell not doing his job? Why are they lying? it's not supposed to be this way according to the Constitution" and me try to explain it. Thankfully I live in a district that was only about 35% Trump supporters but heavily religious right are very mouthy as you know and controlling of others and that is who the administration was afraid of.

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You have my admiration and sympathy. I really liked and appreciated ALL my teachers from grade 1 thru grad school but wow now days.... impossible!

I know I am sidebarring here but just had to comment but we know Lisa & Karen are not proofreading Hollins, right!

Right?

Haha...

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One thing that attracted me to Jeff's comments on Twitter was the fact that he wrote in hollins style.

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I remember an 8th grade teacher who spent the entire semester of American History drilling home his belief that the Civil War was precipitated by the problem of "states rights". Even as a 14 yr old I knew instinctively that was total BS. Anyone who's gonna try to convince me that the primary reason the South seceded wasn't about hanging on to their slaves is gonna be up against a brick wall with me.

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Believe me....I was NOT that teacher. Lol. I laid it out in living color.

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Thank you!!

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And lately I've contemplated that even though my parents wouldn't have subscribed to that teacher's political take on the Civil War, they didn't go to the local school board or PTA meetings and act out as is common these days with the MAGA crowd registering their rage over "woke indoctrination" and other BS concerns they have about the remaining civilized inhabitants of this country.

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For a few years, I've thought about this question but never knew who to ask.

In 1974 at age 20, I moved to Manhattan and have lived here ever since. Trump was known here as Trump the rich guy before entering politics. In addition, he was notorious for suing everyone who crossed his path. James D. Zirin illuminates more than 45 years of Trump's legal disputes in his book, Plaintiff in Chief: A Portrait of Donald Trump in 3,500 Lawsuits,... Since his presidency, many lives have been negatively affected if not destroyed.

Because Trump sues everyone, why can't we (millions of Americans) file a class action suit against him for all of the damage he has done?

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I have no clue. I'm not any kind of legal expert.

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Anyone can sue anyone, it’s just a case of whether it will stand up in court or get tossed out by a judge. I suppose we could do that but there has to be a clear cause of action. It can’t just be because he ruined this country.

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all my activist friends have been asking this question since 2017. How about emotional stress, worry for our wellbeing and depression due to the fucking asshole's narcissism?

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That would be interesting. But that would open up a can of worms wouldn’t it? Anyone could sue a president if they think they did them wrong. I did some research. In re Nixon v Fitzgerald (1982), government officials are immune from prosecution for “performing discretionary functions when their actions did not violate clearly-established law.” I suppose one could make a case for what is “discretionary functions” and “clearly established law” when discussing the orange toddler. But the worrisome part is, the final word is the illegitimate US Supreme Court. And we know where those jurist’s lips have been. (Securely attached to trump’s dimpled ass.

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What about all the families who lost loved ones due to his stupidity and inaction during covid? Could that be Sue-worthy? Or all of the divorces and families falling apart due to one or more persons falling under the spell of the evil orange monster?

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You mean we would have to be more specific than that....right?

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Yes

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Exactly! There is the Federal Tort Claims Act, but good luck with that. One has to go through an Administrative Law judge first and at this point it would probably be time barred (not a lawyer but tons of experience as a legal researcher).

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Just like Alex Jones, he should be sued into oblivion. I’d sue for his “resort owner” response to Covid. Countless lives lost. Crimes against humanity. Then sue for PTSD for watching him pull off a coup. All of the voting/poll workers should be suing the shit out of him. There’s no limit to what he could be sued for. And while suing everyone I might as well be sue Fox News for the same things. Nice fantasy

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Amen. I would sign on to that!

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In an interview, Mel Brooks was asked about why he wrote “Springtime for Hitler”. I’m paraphrasing, but his response was that the best way to respond to tyrants was to laugh at them. So, carry on. I’m all for making fun of people who deserve it.

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Hit the nail on the head. I like to use humor to get points across. Jeff makes me happy that I’m not alone in this weird world b during the ruination of a whole country. How susceptible folks are scares the living daylights out of me.

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Keep up the good trolling!! I look forward to your email every day

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So do I!!:-)

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I used to have some followers on the birb. Like when your first account got banned with 60k I had like 25k? My follow-up accounts kept getting banned too so I gave up there years before Elon.

Anyhow, point is you got here on the strength and visceral nature of your writing. It appeals to the angry.

In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry, and been widely regarded as a bad move.

(Credit: Douglas Adams.)

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The essential fact of modern Republican Party campaigning and governance is that any efforts to level the playing field -- be it in race, religion, education, economics, voting, housing, gender, taxes, even access to ideas -- must diminish the Liberty of White Fundamentalist Rural Christians who regard themselves as Keepers of the Flame.

There's a new book out by Jefferson Cowie called Freedom’s Dominion:A Saga of White Resistance to Federal Power. Eric Foner reviews it in the recent London Review of Books. Haven't read the book but just finished the review and it knocked me out.

Three-Toes and her confederates are operating not merely as morons, although morons they be, but out of a tradition that antedates the American Revolution.

It's a sobering thought. For we who went through the first Civil Rights struggle in the middle of the last century must acknowledge that millions oppose it, that they believe they can and must succeed in erasing those gains.

What is to be done? I dunno, and I'm with you, that probably the best we can do is mock them, shine a floodlight on their idiocies and crimes, and pray that Justice prevails.

In this fight, man, you are doing such splendid work. But you must have other pursuits. How do you step back to recharge? Any tips?

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long question, but short answer: I don't need to recharge. I work out all my anger in the process of writing, and then I'm good to go for the rest of the day.

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Damn that's a good answer.

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So you're "catharting" when you write, love it! Can you tell I was a psych major decades ago? Love your cartharting, I'm catharting when I'm reading your cartharting.....

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Me too!

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I like hearing from Neal also.

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Actual question: How come you're not in Congress? Seems like you're strong enough in your convictions to not get corrupted. I think you'd do better on the field than in the bleachers. Which is a hard thing to say because, as I'm sure you were told before, you're great in the bleachers.

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I'm probably unelectable. I would have no patience for campaigning or fundraising. I just don't like people in general well enough to do that

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I think you like people just fine - as long as you don't have to deal with them. What is your publication if not stress relief for the masses?

I've been a hermit since 17. I get preferring people at a distance. Your finance chair would be doing the fundraising and you can't convince me you don't like to talk.

I think you could do fine if you wanted. Of course if you don't want, that hardly matters.

You'll have my support on either road.

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Hell, run with Jon Stewart!😊

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I have a question JT.

How much do you think your catchphrase, "Holy Fuckin shit" has helped you build a following?

Seems to me that might have helped folks recognize your Tweets in the Twitterstorm.

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it's probably been more successful than it should have been. I mean yeah, people like catchphrases.

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I’ve recommended your newsletter to people saying that your wonderfully colorful and clever swear words are cathartic. And your names, three toes, clown shoes. Love it. I read your newsletter before I even get up (I live in Cali).

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Your "holy funding shit"s are what drew me to you. And I've never used or cared about Twitter. A coworker started reading your tweets to me. I was beyond thrilled when I found you on substack and became a paid subscriber immediately. Keep up the good work 👏 🙌 👍 👌

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Same here! I like to swear and I like people who swear. It's the best form of punctuation in my opinion!

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Politics, like sports, has been devolving for a long while now, but Trump has burst the dam on trash talking. How can the left fight back with honest debate without stooping to their level? How does one engage in civil debate and be successful? All this in the face of "click bait" news and internet trolling, etc. How can one be a civilized campaigner?

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oh god that's such a good question and honestly, I don't know if I'll ever figure out an answer to it. I used to try to debate people on the internet and I eventually gave up because it just way too frustrating

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Could you kindly use some of your exquisite trolling ability to get people to recognize that COVID is AIRBORNE, our kids are a highly efficient vector for spreading SARS-related variants, and YES Long Covid is a rapidly expanding mass disability trend?

And oh, by the way, N95 masks DO work, especially for everyone but the morons at the CDC, who just mindlessly infected a very large number of their own at the "Epidemic Intelligence Service" meeting in Atlanta late April (which proved to be attended by a herd of people with #CoviDementia).

https://twitter.com/EricTopol/status/1662492227321606144/photo/1

...but the administration, all members of Congress and millions of people with a lot of nonfunctional neurons are still allergic to science...

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sadly, there are some minds out there that just can't be changed

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My friend recommended you when I first joined Twitter - loved “holy fucking shit” - after leaving twitter last year I was glad to find you here on Substack. Thank you!

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let's talk about "holy fucking shit." I don't actually use it as often as I get accused of. and I would use it a lot less, but for some reason the posts that start with "holy fucking shit" seem to do better than the ones that don't.

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Plus when it comes to Republican antics, HFS just seems to capture everything they do!

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I think you use “the email lady” much more often. :)

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As a species, just how screwed are we?

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we're doomed. we're going to fuck this planet beyond fixing

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agree and the worse part is all the beautiful innocent creature that will go with us.

fuck us.

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by the way, we are watching a pretty engaging series on Apple+ right now called Extrapolations. it imagines what life and society will be like 20 to 50 years from now as the climate continues to break down. it gets preachy at times but it's extremely watchable

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Thanks, Jeff. Here's an observation of mine somewhat related.

I was in a car accident four years ago and had terrible post trauma from it. I realized what a lot of my post trauma was about - I had gone through life thinking, shit happens to other people, not me. We all do this to a big extent with a multitude of life's adversities.

I think that... it's possible this destructive human trait is at play here with climate change. It's like people think, that happens to people, other generations, other planets.

Why we're fucked folks, is that we're just too stupid to live.

Though, I'll exclude the Native Americans and other indigenous people around the world from this depressing statement.

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Or for further explanation the book, Think Fast Think Slow and others explains how we could /do conceptualize the world. Which explains how we can be SO bad at math... or the lottery.

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Will I want to drink hemlock after I've watched it? Like is it uplifting or depressing?

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definitely not uplifting but more thought-provoking than depressing

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Amen

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Jun 4, 2023·edited Jun 4, 2023

Yeah, I thought so. Stephen Hawking said the quiet part out loud too. But thanks for the laughs!

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Well, there's that... kind of like a unspoken suicide club or what we have as a modern society. We are incapable of a united action such as a victory garden sort of response to a heating planet so communal health risk? Nevermind...

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Why hasn’t Matt Gratz gone to jail? Does he have pics of Kevin naked with a goat or something?

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what was explained to me is that the witnesses against him were all lying scumbags, and especially primary witness Joel Greenberg, who had previously confessed to making false accusations against some other person, which would make him worthless on the stand in a trial. I know, its sucks, but this is the system of justice we're stuck with

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Thank you so much for that info. I've been wondering about this for a long time.

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I’m grateful you still use Post as well as Twitter and probably other platforms. Many of us that have left Twitter need your wit and honesty. Okay here is the question: what is your favorite decade and why?

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oh huh. interesting question. in the 1970s I was young and on my own in the world for the first time and was too dumb to know that I didn't know shit about anything and looking back on it, that was kind of fun. in the 1980s I was pretty successful in business. my daughter was born in 1991 and it watching her grow up was pretty fun. I dunno. every decade had something good in it

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I don't have a question; I just want to thank you for being my favorite person who writes about these things. It's like you take what's in my heart and translate it into all the right cusswords.

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