stop it, you mean old No Kings protesters. you’re making MAGA cry

boo fucking hoo, diaper-babies

pour one out for MAGA, folks. keep them in your thoughts and prayers. they’re going through some things right now.

MAGA was promised a day of lawless, violent Hamas-worshiping antifa™ terrorists pocketing piles of SorosBucks™ while burning America to the ground.

what they got instead were over eight million peaceful Americans, rising up as one to gleefully tell a mad-king-wanna-be to go fuck himself.

and now they’re all so very, very sad. sad and confused. they have no clue how to react.

here’s my advice to MAGA: why not take a page from Utah Senator Mike Lee’s playbook? look how effortlessly Mike pivots from lashing out at lawless violent anarchists he was expecting, to lashing out at dorky dancers who showed up.

“Nothing says ‘hip’ like rhythm-less boomers trying to dance—all while trying way too hard to look like they’re having fun.”

help! help! Mike Lee is being repressed! come and see the violence not inherent in the system!

it must be fucking exhausting to be MAGA. every day you have to wake up and find some new outrage to be lose your mind over. ‘come on, you commies, that’s not how real men dance. real men dance like they’re jacking off two invisible giraffes.’

here’s a fun fact: there were eight million peaceful protesters, and not one them managed to flip a skateboard into their own crotch.

now, what were you saying about looking dorky, Mike?

Senator Lee wasn’t the only MAGA to be outraged by all the fun that the No Kings protesters were having.

“Personally, I think it’s great our seniors got outside today and enjoyed some great fall weather.”

by the way, this Stephen Miller is not the undead eater of live bats who is currently the Acting President of the United States.

no, this Stephen Miller is a right-wing podcast bro who fancies himself a pundit.

we Americans are so lucky. we get to have two Stephen Millers inflicted on us.

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now, here’s some rando who’s worked herself up into a Super Big Mad because she showed up at a No Kings event wearing a MAGA hat, looking to start trouble, and ended up being completely ignored.

“Hey y’all!!! I went to a ‘No Kings’ rally today wearing my MAGA hat in Athens and guess what they said to me…. Absolutely nothing. They didn’t know what to do when the SAVAGE pulled up!”

imagine being this self-delusional.

yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Tiff. no one wanted to tangle with you because no one wanted to be bothered with a ninny making weird faces. anfita™ was terrified of you because you’re apparently some kind of ‘SAVAGE.’ that’s a lot easier to live with than the reality, which is that nobody paid attention to you because you don’t matter.

what Tiffany should have said was nothing, but because she chose to shit out her look-at-me nonsense on Elon’s Nazi Bar, she ended up being used as a chew toy for the entire day.

did Tiffany slink away in embarrassment? oh no, not at all. she proudly insisted that by making everyone stop to point at the pisspants clown, she won.

she literally became this meme.

seriously.

oh. please, get over yourself already. no one cares.

now here’s another pro tip for MAGA: if you’re going to show up at a No Kings rally and be such a ginormous homophobic-slur-doling dick that you actually do end up getting chased by protesters, try not to faceplant like a dipshit.

when I tried to convert Molly Ploofkin’s post to a video, youtube slapped an age restriction on it (and rightfully so).

but here’s the beauty part.

awesome footwork, bro.

and, as Jesus never tires of pointing out in his Sermon on the Mount, blessed are the meme creators, for they shall win the internet.

blessed, too, are the commenters — especially the one who sagely observed ‘he never thought the pavement would eat HIS face!’

but there was one guy who wasn’t going to let a lack of violence keep him from yammering about all the violence.

I’m talking, of course, about the fucking fuck who just got told by eight million people to go fuck himself. here he is, taking taking questions from reporters while flying home from a weekend spent cheating at golf.

“I think it’s a joke. I looked at the people. they’re not representative of this country. and I looked at all the brand new signs I guess paid for— I guess it was paid for by Soros and other radical left lunatics. it looks like it was. we’re checking it out. the demonstrations were very small, very ineffective. and the people were whacked out.”

deep denial, it’s what’s for breakfast — and lunch and dinner, too, if you’re Donny Convict.

he’s going to get to the bottom of this fever-swamp fairy-tale about how we’re all on Soros’ payroll. you do that, Sherlock. go take a very strong look at who paid for all those handwritten signs.

let us know how it works out for you. how about you get back to us in two weeks.

now, I know what you’re going to ask. ‘hey Uncle Jeff, did any of the reporters ask Donny about that infantile Shit Force One video he posted — the one where he wears a crown while dropping diarrhea onto a crowd of Americans? did any reporter finally win the What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge™?’

that would be a big fat nope. not one reporter broached the subject. nor did it come up on any of the Sunday shows.

so here we are, once again. our diaperload president does something disgraceful and embarrasses our entire country, and not one worthless scribbler of the corporate-controlled press can be bothered to point out that the idiot Emperor has no class.

fucking cowards.

hey, but least we did get this utter nonsense from The New York Times.

is there a gas leak in the New York Times newsroom? what dumbfuckery is this?

Donny Convict is the literal face of all the evil being perpetrated on our country right now. who are the Democrats supposed to be running against, if not him? Millard Fillmore?

‘that goddamned Compromise of 1850, what the fuck was Fillmore trying to pull?’

look out the fucking window, New York Times. do you see what’s going on? there are millions of voters out there, and every one of them is pissed off at the guy fancies himself some kind of autocratic dictator-king-for-life.

look at what the preening jackass posted to his crappy app yesterday.

Donny’s not going away. he fully imagines that he’s going to be on the ballot in 2028 — and beyond. and he’s trying like hell to make it so.

‘ignore him’ is the worst possible advice in the world. it’s like trying to ignore cancer.

shut the fuck up, New York Times. you’re not helping.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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