it’s the Cage Match of the Fuckface Advisors!
the Space Nazi and Jailbird Pete are locked in a dipshit smackdown
Donny Convict’s Confederacy of Sewer Clowns is made up almost entirely of dull, unexceptional white dudes. like Dear Leader, they were born into obscene wealth, handed every opportunity, and repeatedly allowed to fail eternally upwards — but of course, they don’t see it that way. each and every one of them is serenely convinced that they got where they are because they’re the smartest person in the room.
they’re also eternally jockeying for primacy, because each one of them is convinced that they’re the one who deserves to be the favored son — to sit at Dear Leader’s right hand, and be the trusted advisor he listens to.
that’s why it’s super fucking amusing to watch the Space Nazi and Jailbird Pete Navarro flail away at each other like a pair of schoolyard dipshits.
Elon Musk is, of course, the legendary inventor of Forkship One, the silverware-based spacecraft which will carry humanity all the way to Mars — or at least to the next table on the Motel-a-Lago patio.
Peter Navarro is the inventor of Ron Vara, a Nobel-prizewinning economist who definitely does not exist.
I fucking shit you not.
“At one point, Ron Vara wrote in the memo that Trump could, quote, ‘Ride the tariffs to victory,’” Maddow said. The problem is, Ron Vara doesn’t exist. He never has. The economics expert that Peter Navarro has long cited to explain why he’s so gung-ho on tariffs, this person, Ron Vara, is a made-up person.”
“He is a fictional person. Peter Navarro invented Ron Vara as his expert source, so he could quote this expert source over and over and over again in his crackpot books,” she continued. “Who is Ron Vara? Ron Vara is an anagram of Navarro, which is his last name.”
this is the bizarre reality we’re all trapped in: the president of the United States is every bit as simpleminded and gullible as his cultists, and a fast-talking flimflam artist conjured up an emotional support number-cruncher in order to hoodwink Donny into greenlighting his crackpot theories.
the thing is, Navarro didn’t have to invent an economist. he could have just leaned over and swiped at Donny’s face and gone ‘I’ve got your nose! and I won’t give it back to you until you promise to hang tough on tariffs forever’ — and our dumbfuck president would have burst into tears and agreed to anything, just to get his nose back.
does that sound coo-coo-for-cocoapuffs to you? it does to me, too — and Jamie Raskin agrees with us.
“the basis for this most destructive trade war in the history of the world is the profound economic research and policy writings of one Ron Vara, a completely fictional economist conjured up by Peter Navarro, a real person who Elon Musk just called a moron.”
that’s right: Elon did just call Jailbird Pete a moron.
“Navarro is truly a moron. What he says here is demonstrably false.”
because we live in the dumbest possible timeline, once again life imitates meme.
oh, and because the Space Nazi has all the emotional maturity of a 14-year-old boy, he’s also been referring to Navarro as Peter Retarrdo.
“I’d like to apologize to bricks for calling Peter Retarrdo dumber than a sack of bricks. That was so unfair to bricks.”
here’s how the Cage Match of the Fuckface Advisors got started: Pete went on CNBC and said the following:
“we all understand in the White House (and the American people understand) that Elon's a car manufacturer. but he’s not a car manufacturer — he’s a car assembler. in many cases, if you go to his Texas plant, a good part of the engines that he gets (which in the EV case are the batteries) come from Japan and come from China. the electronics come from Taiwan... what we want — and the difference is in our thinking and Elon’s on this — is that we want the tires made in Akron. we want the transmissions made in Indianapolis. we want the engines made in Flint and Saginaw. and we want the cars manufactured here.”
look, American-based manufacturing is all well and good, but blunt-force tariffs on penguins is not the way forward.
you want transmissions made in Indianapolis? that’s great, but you can’t snap your fingers and boom! here’s a factory! that shit takes years — and considerable financial investment — to ramp up.
I don’t know why Ron Vara can’t figure that out. oh, maybe it’s because he doesn’t exist.
meanwhile, the Space Nazi is growing weary of watching his personal fortune go fuckity-bye as the Dow continues to crater, so this past weekend he once again camped out at Motel-a-Lago and tried to ForkshipOne his way into Donny’s heart.
Over the weekend, as Elon Musk launched into a barrage of social media posts criticizing one of the lead White House advisers for President Donald Trump’s aggressive tariff plan, Musk was going over that same official’s head — and making personal appeals to Trump.
The attempted intervention, confirmed by two people familiar with the matter who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss private talks, has not brought success so far.
Elon talked himself blue in the face, but to no avail — because here comes Jailbird Pete and his imaginary playmate Ron Vara, and they’re all ‘stay the course, Donny — we’re going to tariff our way to prosperity!’
Donny sided with Team Pete over the Space Nazi, because of course he did. the way to catch Donny’s ear is not by trying to convince that he’s wrong. he has no patience for that shit. Donny probably stopped listening to Elon ten words in, and started daydreaming about being a superhero.
yeah, that would be so cool. I could use my heat vision to burn Jamie Raskin to a crisp. fuck you, puny mortal!
the way to ingratiate yourself is to slobber all over Donny’s ass. Jailbird Pete knows this, which is why he’s been spinning tall tales about his bestie Ron — a big, heavily-muscled economist who can’t wait to meet Donny, so he can burst into tears and go sir! sir! no one has ever done tariffs like you. how do you do it? sir!
the Space Nazi’s losing streak wasn’t confined to tariff wars. he also spent the weekend being humiliated by gamers.
While attempting to show off Starlink’s in-flight WiFi capabilities while onboard his private jet over the weekend, Musk streamed himself playing some PoE2 on the hardest difficulty, which was broadcast live on X.
The DOGE chief was, predictably, terrible at the game, but that was the least of his problems—Less than five minutes into the stream, a player logged on and asked Musk if he could “please jerk off mr trump so he dies of a heart attack.” It only got worse from there.
For the next hour and a half, Musk sat in stony-faced silence and blasted techno music while dozens of users with names such as ELON_IS_A_PEEDOPHILE and ELON_MUSK_IS_PATHETIC repeatedly spammed the chat to tell him “YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE” and “YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL INSECURE AND IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY.”
oh my god, shoot that shit straight into my veins.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
That’s it. Ron Vara. Proof that we are supremely screwed. Can’t even imagine if one if Bidens people had pulled anything like this. And that Mr. Navarro can still go out in public now that his imaginary friend has been exposed… these people have no shame in their vast stupidity. Someone end this farce of a “government”.
And the “jerk off Trump till he has a heart attack”. 😂😂😂. That gamer needs a trophy! Ha!
You have raised your game beyond belief, Jeff! The cyberbullying of Space Nazi was the absolute best!