snoring courtroom fart factory says wut?

Donald Trump’s behavior in court is proof of dementia, says psychiatry prof

imagine you’re the defendant in a criminal trial.

your fate is in the hands of a judge and twelve strangers. these people are in control of your life. they could send you to prison. you’re helpless. you can’t talk unless ordered to. you can’t do anything.

if you’re a normal human being, adrenaline is coursing through your system. your heart is pounding. your stress levels are spiking.

but if you’re Little Donny Fuckface, you’re dead asleep, sawing logs while you fill the courtroom with clouds of noxious gas.

what the fuck is going on with this broken-inside dipshit?

Dr. John Gartner, who spent 28 years as a professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University Medical School, has an explanation:

“To uncontrollably fall asleep during the day is something that's very common among patients with dementia.”

A defendant falling asleep in court is “literally so uncommon, it's basically unheard of.” Gartner said he’s spoken with several lawyer friends who each told him that they’ve never seen a defendant falling asleep in court during their entire careers.

awesome. Donny isn’t falling asleep out of boredom, or because he’s a sociopath — no, it’s because his brain is deterioraing at an ever-increasing rate.

ok, but what’s the deal with all the butt music?

“This thing about the farting — obviously, it was a big joke on Twitter and late-night comedy and whatnot, but again, we really have to put these things into clinical context. This means something,” Gartner said. “He seems to be losing control of basic biological functions right in front of our eyes.”

Gartner emphasized that both the napping and the farting are “consistent with a diagnosis of dementia” because both “would suggest that he’s losing control over his basic bodily functions — sleep, wake, excretion.”

Donald Trump was already a burst trash bag of personality defects. add “losing control over his basic bodily functions — sleep, wake, excretion” to the mix and holy shit, these are exactly the qualities you want in a Day One Dictator.

media-obsessed Trump is, of course, painfully aware that the entire world is laughing at his sleepytime courtroom dozefests — and so yesterday morning he took to his failing ghost-town of an app and posted this pathetic attempt at deflection:

“Where’s SLEEPY JOE? He’s SLEEPING, that’s where!!!”

because with Trump, every accusation is a confession. nice try, dumb-ass.

yesterday was an off day at the Big Trump New York Election Fraud Fuckery trial, giving Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants a chance to do some of his beloved campaigning. Donny held not one, but two hate-rallies in two separate states.

trying to pull off two rallies in one day was a huge fucking mistake for the deteriorating old dotard, and it showed — he was a slurring, glitching mess.

“1.2 trillion dollars for their fake infrastrucerschure para— he had a package of infrastructure, you take a look at it, it’s fake. it’s fake and it’s horrible.”

once again, watch Donny’s eyes bulge helplessly as he tries to course-correct mid-glitch, landing on the nonsense phrase “package of infrastructure.”

tell us more about this “package of infrastructure,” Lord Shitticus. is it under the Christmas tree? is it wrapped in a pretty bow?

also: Biden’s infrastructure package isn’t “fake.” fake would be what Trump did: issue endless proclamations of “infrastructure week” — but never ever once do shit about it.

that clip was from Trump’s Wisconsin rally. here’s the babbling old fool earlier in the day, in Michigan.

“there’s no way he got 80 million votes incaseyouhananyplice.”

back to Dr. Gartner:

“Phonemic paraphasias” — the substitution of non-words for words that sound similar — are not normally seen until a patient enters the moderate to severe stages of Alzheimer’s.

Some examples of Trump’s non-words: Beneficiaries becomes “benefishes.” Renovations become “renoversh.” Pivotal became “pivobal.” Obama became “obamna.” Missiles became “mishiz.” Christmas became “Crissus.” Bipartisan became “bipars.”

This is a fundamental breakdown in the ability to use language. If you were talking to your father on the phone and he did this you would think he is having a stroke. There is no healthy older person who speaks that way.

seriously, if Trump were surrounded by a loving and caring family, right now they would be arranging for Donald to spend the rest of his days in the comfort of a five-star assisted living facility — one that specializes in memory care.

but Donny isn’t surrounded by anything of the sort. instead, he has two adult sons who leech off his quote-unquote “fame,” the daughter who now pretends he doesn’t exist, and the Slovenian trophy wife who married him because she fully expected that she’d be a wealthy widow by now. she fucking hates his guts for still being alive.

pictured: loving family

speaking of loving and caring, you’ll never guess how Donny reacted when his own father succumbed to Alzheimer’s.

Donald Trump mocked his father, Fred Trump Sr., as he started succumbing to Alzheimer’s disease in the last six years of life, according to new details from a forthcoming tell-all from the president’s niece.

what goes around, comes around, fuckface. karma, it’s what’s for breakfast.

now check out this bit of supreme clownfuckery, again from Michigan:

“it’s good that I have a good memory. you know why? because this teleprompter is facing at you, not me. this— these teleprompters are just gonzo, folks. they’re gonzo. I hate to use the use word ‘folks.’ cross out the word ‘folks.’ ever hear Biden? every other word is ‘folks.’”

once again, our worthless corporate-controlled media is failing to do its job. yes, they’re reporting on Trump’s courtroom narcolepsy — because it’s an obvious story. but the public needs to know why this is happening. they need to know that Donny is, in Dr. Gartner’s words, “losing control over his basic bodily functions.”

the public needs to be told that this election is a choice between a sane leader with a proven record of success, and a farting, shitting mess who believes he has the right to shred the Constitution and assassinate his rivals.