shut up and eat your shit sandwich, MAGA. you voted for it

the cultists are having a big sad because it turns out tariffs suck

the American economy wasn’t broke, but Mad King Donny sure fixed the shit out of it — and now, MAGA-babies everywhere are power-loading their diapers.

it wasn’t supposed to be like this! it’s not fair! Dear Leader promised that tariffs would make me rich! why are prices going up? why is my 401k in this shitter? why did I just lose my job?

what the fuck?

so many colicky cultists are losing their shit right now that America is in grave danger of running out of binkies.

MAGA dutifully swallowed the fairy tale that “tariffs are a tax on other countries” hook, line and sinker — and now they’re all waking up to the fact that, once again, a spray-tanned con artist sold them a bill of goods.

check out this serene babe in the woods, just two days ago.

“The tariffs are probably the best thing to happen to our country in decades. Getting ripped off had to end at some point.”

what a well-trained MAGA. Donny told him that America was getting ‘ripped off,’ and Anthony was happy to parrot that incoherent talking point til the cows came home.

hey, I have a cool idea. let’s check back in with Tony, and see how those cows are mooing just one day later.

“Tariffs have there place forsure but I work for a small company who produces smoked salmon and other fish which obviously can’t be ‘made’ here. It’s all imported. Starting next week our prices for buying and selling are going to skyrocket and in a month or so if Chile and other countries we import from don’t drop there tariffs to 0 then we are going to have to lay off half our work force. It’s bittersweet.”

golly, look at that. Tony just found out the hard way that some goods and services can’t be produced in America, and it serves no purpose to punitively tariff them. and oh look, prices are skyrocketing and jobs are being lost. wait, what happened to Dear Leader’s assurance that tariffs are a tax that other countries paid?

Tony comes this close to almost getting it, but he still blames “Chile and other countries we import from” for Donnie’s economy-destroying fuckery.

that’s not how it works, Tony. that’s not how any of it works.

I’ve got a pro tip for Anthony and his MAGA ilk: if a snake-oil salesman tells you that windmills give you noise cancer or that magnets stop working when they get wet, run away as fast as you can — because you can pretty much conclude that everything else that oozes out of his rancid anus-mouth is also a batshit fever-swamp hallucination.

awesome job. the biggest fucking cult leader in the universe handed you a tall glass of tariff-flavored Kool Aid, and you unquestioningly guzzled it down — and now you’re all ‘why didn’t anyone tell me this shit had cyanide in it?’

here, Tony. enjoy some tiny violin.

imagine having the nerve to complain that Donny’s tariffs affect you personally. what kind of MAGA patriot are you? Dear Leader thinks you’re weak, you namby-pamby penguin-lover.

only the weak will fail, Tony. got that? why are you failing Dear Leader?

don’t look to your beloved Fox News for sympathy either. America’s tipsiest fake TV judge wants you to shut up and eat your shit sandwich.

“I don’t really care about my 401(k)today. you know why? … I believe in this man.”

the unmitigated nerve of these fucking hypocrites. remember when Sleepy Brandon was president? every time the Dow dropped two points, all the usual shitweasels started screaming how’s your 401k? that was then, but now that Donny has clownfucked your 401k into oblivion, the official line is ‘how dare you question the infinite wisdom of Dear Leader?’

oh, and ‘shut up about your 401k’ isn’t the only shit sandwich MAGA is being forced to chow down. here’s the other one: ‘nobody said you had a right to affordable goods.’

I shit you not. the entire wingnut noise machine is in lockstep with this new talking point. here’s that Larry Kudlow clip from yesterday.

“buying cheap goods is not a real prosperity.”

don’t you love it when billionaires tell you to stop whining about how much things cost? here’s Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, from last month:

“access to cheap goods is not the essence of the American dream.”

again, the hypocrisy is off the charts. I’m so old, I remember those “I did that” stickers that MAGA would slap onto any product whose cost went up a penny.

got that? when prices go up when a Democrat is president, it’s directly their fault. but when Dear Leader is president and costs increase, it’s because you, peon, have no right to cheap goods — so quit your bellyaching.

I also remember when some lying asshole guaranteed that he’d bring prices down on day one of his presidency.

Bessent, by the way, is all curled up into a big sad right now, because his shameless ass-kissing over Donny’s tariffs have made him look like a fool, and now suddenly he wants out.

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent is allegedly leaping for a window after dashing his “credibility” against the rocks of Trump’s disastrous tariffs, claimed MSNBC host Stephanie Ruhle on Friday.

Scotty, your credibility went fuckity-bye the moment you shackled your future to Dear Leader. ‘Everything Trump Touches Dies,” homeslice — and that includes your precious reputation.

it’s binkie time for you. go cry all the way back to your 12-million dollar mansion.

oh, look who else is having a ginormous fucking sad over tariffs. it’s Ketamine McChainsaw.

“I-I hope that um, I hope that the United States and Europe uh can establish a very close partnership, uh we obviously are this is an alliance already, but I’m hopeful that there can be a very close relationship with America and Europe, um, and uh I’m hopeful example for tariffs that uh at the end of the day I uh I hope it is agreed that both Europe and the United States should move ideally in my opinion to a zero-tariff situation, effectively creating a free trade zone between Europe and North America.”

this fucker was happy to run around with his chainsaw when it was your future getting chopped into tiny bits — but now that Donny’s reckless tariffs shaved $11 billion off his own personal fortune in just two days, suddenly he’s Mister Financial Sobriety. why can’t we all just get along?

fuck off, Space Nazi.

we really are going to run out of binkies. thank god we have infinite tiny violins.

meanwhile, as the American economy crashes and explodes into flames like one of the Space Nazi’s janky cars, President Nine Iron has been spending the last four days golfing.

I know you’ll be shocked to hear this, but Donny won his eleventy-seventh millionty consecutive Trump Golf Motel Championship yesterday.

for those of you keeping score at home, Donny has now spent a quarter of his presidency golfing.

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congratulations to the hundreds of thousands of protestors who took part in the over 1,400 Hands Off demonstrations that took place in all fifty states — and all over the world. check out the scene in Trafalgar Square in London yesterday.

job well done, everyone. stay loud, and stay angry. this is how we defeat fascism.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.