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User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—

oh look, they're distracting us from all the fuckery with things that never happened the most

"FBI thwarted attack targeting UFC event at White House, director says"

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2026/06/16/fbi-thwarted-attack-targeting-ufc-event-white-house-director-says/

yeah, sure Kash, whatever you say

Kay-El's avatar

Shit that never happened for $500 Alex

HI2thDoc's avatar

(Pie chart, Jeff style):

Never happened --75% In yellow

Never happened, but in blue --25%

Morgan's avatar

Shit that never happened and the Shit that’s happening to Fvck up our country even more..

Ellyn's avatar

You can actually say FUCK-we’re adults here. 💕🤗

Morgan's avatar

Hehehe I got so used to spelling it that way because some sites will block you for swearing.. and I’m always swearing..

Major Kong's avatar

Welcome to the fucking club.

Morgan's avatar

🙌🏽🤙🏽🙌🏽🫶🏽

BluDotInARedSewer's avatar

Come sit next to me, mother fucker. 😜

Phil Weltner's avatar

That would be absolutely correct spelling in Latin typography.

Kay-El's avatar

Fuck, fvck, tomato tomatoh 😂

Ginny Hall's avatar

I really enjoyed this fucking thread!

Morgan's avatar

Right on Ginny🙌🏽🤙🏽🙌🏽

Miselle's avatar

⬆️🎯👏🏼

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Jeff, This shit cant get worse, it really cant.

Trump and Bibi are about to lock horns over the Lebanon bullshit, because, you know, Trump cant actually control Bibi , or his desire to eradicate an entire nation of people.

Who know that Net would ever be guilty of actual genocide.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/what-survives-the-morning-trump-makes-a-deal-to-give-iran-300-billion-dollars-and-calls-that-a-win

The most powerful man in America called the prime minister of Israel "fucking crazy" on a leaked call and told him not to bomb Beirut. That's where we are. Two men who lit a regional war to save their own hides, circling a kill that fed neither while the people under the bombs do the actual fucking dying. The deal halts the shooting. It does not resurrect a soul.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

I ran into a friend of mine at an art opening the other day whose best friend returned to her homeland of Lebanon last year when things got too Trump-y for her here in the U.S. My friend told me that she is now in a village in the mountains with relatives and cannot go down to her home in the city anymore because it's too dangerous. This woman is a dazzling singer/entertainer but obviously cannot perform right now. You would love her if you met her. Fuck Bibi. Fuck Trump. And for good measure fuck Vlad too. They should all be sharing a prison cell.

LORI  D's avatar

It's pretty bad when we don't even think about North Korea much any more. Also I loved that Jeff made reference to the DOTARD because I forgot all about that term. Makes me laugh every time.

Stranger Than Friction's avatar

They should all be dead, but these three will cling to power until they can be pried off like the ticks on humanity they are.

Lin Talbot-Koehl's avatar

Stranger, "Ticks on Humanity" is NOW my go-to description of these disgusting shitbags.

And, referencing Lori B, above....yes, Kim SHOULD be included in that despicable shitpile of defective humanoids.

Cathy Wray's avatar

I wonder how long it would take putin to kil* trump if they were in a cell together.

FilmArtPhoto's avatar

Isn't Vlad a Judo master or some shit? Probably 5 minutes or less.

Mary Hall's avatar

He was the head of the KGB. He could kill T💩p with his thumb.

Bob Dunn's avatar

I dunno how long it would take, but I think it depends on when Putin would get served fava beans and chianti.

Frank Nuts's avatar

Anastasia, I select all the above (and can you make those life sentences?). And can they please have a romper room with a live cam for children to watch (at a safe distance)

LORI  D's avatar

oh yes it can get worse and it will.

counterlife's avatar

We are trapped in an infinity of absurd and terrible. Thanks, Republicans.

George in Atlanta's avatar

It's all so fascinating. Donny set this thing up with multiple dependent variables pinging around, each with random effects. Donny can 'sign' an 'agreement' with Iran and all Bibi has to do to scrap it is lob a well-placed rocket somewhere. Iran can pull Trump, who's desperate to run away, back in at any time in the future by closing the Strait. The US is everybody's bitch now. The collapse of Asian economies is entirely his fault, forcing those nations into the arms of China, through which flows the only possible path to the next stability point.

Study Mandarin.

Robin D's avatar

"Study Mandarin" 💯

rlritt's avatar

Ain't that the truth. Supposedly, Conservative friends said of Republicans, that tje grown ups are now in charge. Yeah homicidal, egotistical, senile adults are in charge. I know teenagers that have more sense.

Jerrold Marsh's avatar

It is only going to get worse. Donny's next stop on his World Tour will either be Cuba or Greenland. It is just a matter of time.

arne link's avatar

It will be poor old Cuba. He promised it to Liddle Marco. That is why he hangs on and makes excuses for the Orange Pustule.

Victoria Wilson's avatar

Yeah, I agree. And that's why Marco still is wearing those ridiculous ill-fitting shoes. lol

Lin Talbot-Koehl's avatar

I agree - Cuba.

Because they're CLOSE ENOUGH, that #Bumblefuck could have auxiliary controls put into Hawk-a-Loogie, & have a PERSONAL *FIELD DAY*, KILLING EVEN *MORE* INNOCENT PEOPLE.

rlritt's avatar

At this point, Cuba couldnt do any worse. We have been boycotting the tiny country for longer than anyone can remember because they had a leader we didnt like. All the people involved at that time are dead. Everyone needs to move on.

rlritt's avatar

I dont know, but I bet BiBi talked Trump into attacking Iran telling him he would a kick ass hero, war time president and it would boost his ratings. Didn't he know Trump could fuck up a ham sandwich.

Ellyn's avatar

There is literally no bottom.

HI2thDoc's avatar

"uhh, Didi, I did what you wanted and bombed Iraq, Ir-, Iran, and now you owe me one back because I am your bitc-, I am not your bitch. . .uhh,"

Frank Nuts's avatar

A bitch to all authoritarians… “Wouldn’t that be loverly?…wait, what, it’s not a dream…IT’S REAL??? We’re fucked.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

At some point Trump's gonna pull an Uncle Junior and tell Bibi to go shit in his kippah.

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

oh, you know thats coming, and you know when Trump tried to do that to Putty, it didnt go so well.

HI2thDoc's avatar

"Don't call me Didi, you schlemiel!"

DJ Headthrob's avatar

I'd go with "schtick-dreck."

Robert Eckert's avatar

He's already told Bibi worse than that, but to no effect.

Frank Nuts's avatar

Ya right DJ — and monkeys will come flying out of his butt (from being chased by his diaper load projectiles).

Actually that last part has a fair to midlin chance of actually happening.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

Only proper that the Wicked Witch of Mar-a-Lardo should have his own Flying Monkeys./

Suel J's avatar

Very much missing Michelle and Barak Obama

Nora's avatar

and, too, I read somewhere that dumpy wants the Ukraine war to end, next. So, Ukranie get ready to give up your country to dumpy's bestie pooty. Dumpy will throw in Poland for good measure in his version of art of the deal. The EU needs to step in tout de suite to put a stop to dumpy's meddling/negotiating the end to that unjust war that pooty started, with dumpy's help.

Robert Eckert's avatar

Dumb Antichrist has no power to make Ukraine give up anything.

rlritt's avatar

We all know Trump is petrified of Putin. They met privately in Alaska and Putin gave him his orders and told what might happen of he didnt do as he was told. How would he have acted any differently. The US is no longer the leading democracy of the world.

Robert Eckert's avatar

"The deal halts the shooting." No it doesn't, because it does not bind the party doing most of the shooting right now. Of course Israel is not going to pay any attention to a "deal" they were not even consulted about.

Terry O’Reilly's avatar

Honey, don’t ever say this shit can’t get worse because it will

George in Atlanta's avatar

I dunno about that... I got a top-secret SIGNAL message on my George Soros-issued spy phone, activating my ANTIFA cell to go down to the UFC roid-fest and spike the water with estrogen. Did that plan not work out?

HI2thDoc's avatar

Try using your Jewish Space Laser app to zap the pool

Susan Jane's avatar

How can I get some of that estrogen?

Cathy Wray's avatar

Susan, hahaha!!! When I was 50, my doc said, "Cathy, you have no estrogen. " Ha!!

barb's avatar
Jun 16Edited

Good one George! Only problem is that the cultists actually believe that shit.

Lin Talbot-Koehl's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

DeBurgh's avatar

Hey Kash! Send some agents over to the DOJ. There's some lawyers in there who are creating billion dollar settlements for bogus claims. You know, like the one where the President negotiated with himself and directed the DOJ to pay him $1.7 Billion of taxpayer money? That he could spend on anything he wanted to? And he could commit tax evasion without penalty? Yeah, that one. Well, it's fraudulent. Like criminal theft of public money. The FBI should investigate!

Trump's lawyers told Judge Williams the fix is in and she can't stop it. Here's their filing.

https://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/28241060/trumpirsflg061226.pdf

Note they admit they schmoozed this deal in the dead of night and hid the deal from her. They lied to her when they asked her to "dismiss" the case. Without telling her that Trump was cutting a deal with himself behind the court's back. These lawyers admit wrongdoing, but it was so "minor" she shouldn't punish them. They claim the President and the DOJ have the power to take public money and give it to the Trump Family and she can't do anything about it. So they say. Will this giant theft just slide on by?

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Until there is a law passed by Congress that $1.7 billion fraud will stay alive. This legal document is infuriating! As if the courts play no part in stopping outright fraud

DeBurgh's avatar

Congress doesn't have the power to investigate or prosecute federal crimes. That is the job of the FBI and the Dept of Justice. Since Trump controls them both he is not at risk of prosecution. Indeed, they accede to all of his demands. The FBI and DOJ are his personal tools to steal public money. And prosecute his personal enemies, claiming his power over 300 million American citizens. WE let him get away with crimes. WE fail to shut him down. This is a truth the Press and the Democratic Party are ignoring.

Frank Nuts's avatar

DeBurgh, apparently, it’s not illegal if it’s done out in the open in front of our lying eyes.

It’s the “Now You See It, Now You Don’t” clause in the grand theft statute.

“If you do not see the cash in this room then it doesn’t exist…and if it doesn’t exist, you must acquit!”

Trump’s lawyers make sense to somebody right? Hey, these aren’t OJ’s lawyers are they?

DeBurgh's avatar

The mass media Press and the Democratic Party leaders are behind on this story. Crickets. And it is a very juvenile flim flam hornswaggle by Trump and Blanche and Bissent so it's strange they are ignoring it.

People forget that it took 2 years for the Watergate break-in, paid for by the Committee to Re-elect Nixon, to reach Nixon's accountability. EVERYONE KNEW that Nixon either directly approved the break-in and dirty tricks or indirectly approved his two henchmen to approve it.

Now, today, we have a President who has used his office and power to steal money from American citizens. EVERYONE in Congress knows this. But the Press and the Dems are silent.

The STORY, the false pretenses of the con game is his claim of $10 Billion in damages by an IRS contractor. His claim extends to the US Treasury (our money, the citizens' money). But the Trump Family claim is bogus. There were no actual damages. And the statute of limitations should have been invoked by the DOJ to toss the case. But they didn't.

The STORY was used as the PRETEXT to justify the Acting Attorney General (Trump's former personal attorney) to connive with Trump's current batch of personal attorneys, to cook up a very real $1.7 Billion "Magic Settlement" and, with the consent of the Secretary of the Treasury, transfer $1.7 Billion of taxpayer money to the Trump Family. And right after, Blanche signed a "settlement and apology" document that allows the Trump Family to file false tax returns without risk of prosecution.

When the judge in the $10 Billion bogus lawsuit case was about to toss it as worthless, the Plaintiff (The Trump Family) dismissed the case. They didn't tell her they had cooked up the Magic Settlement behind the scenes. They just said, "Judge, the Trump Family is dismissing the lawsuit."

After the news of the Magic Settlement a few days later, Judge Williams wondered whether Blanche and the Trump attorneys had misused her court for fraud. Here's the Trump attorneys response to her order to show cause why they had not defrauded the court.

The summary is "Judge, the fix is in and there is nothing you can do about it. So just go away."

https://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/28241060/trumpirsflg061226.pdf

Frank Nuts's avatar

Makes my blood boil DeBurgh. I read as much of the filing you posted as i could till I was about to simultaneously throw up and throw my phone against the wall.

Trick play. The old “end around”. Wouldn’t every citizen like the ability to file a lawsuit against themselves (which was un-winnable) then suddenly drop the lawsuit and negotiate a secret settlement with themselves and make the American citizens pay for it and then claim the court has no jurisdiction because the suit was withdrawn by the plaintiff and so there is no judgement to challenge. Reminds me of that baseball comedy routine “Who’s on First” where it leaves you totally confused by the end of the routine.

This is the reason I hate attorneys. These are the assholes who created all the legal mumbo jumbo (including all the corporate law crap) that gives oligarchs the cover to rape and pillage the rest of the American Public with no pushback because it’s “legal”. I’m about to puke and fling my phone against the wall again. Of course the republicans are all fine with this because it was all done by them or people of their ilk.

What’s that quote?…Oh ya: “Oh the humanity!…

DeBurgh's avatar

Here's the Times coverage of what happened behind the scenes to convert a worthless, bogus, bullshit lawsuit into a Magic Settlement that transferred $1.7 Billion of real dollars owned by US to the Trump Family. And gave cover for Blanche to grant immunity for prosecution for their tax evasion. All coordinated, connived, contrived, conspired, colluded between the Acting Attorney General and Trump's paid attorneys. With the blessing of the Secretary of the Treasury and the head of the IRS. We taxpayers don't have a chance when the government officials in offices of public trust conspire to steal from us.

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/30/us/politics/trump-irs-lawsuit-deal.html?searchResultPosition=1

Frank Nuts's avatar

So true DeBurgh. When the Watergate heat hearings were going on I would rush home after school to watch them live.

I was naive enough to think that when that was all over we would now be experienced in handling these kinds of corruption and be able to nip them in the bud. Boy was I a maroon

DeBurgh's avatar

I remember well when Nixon campaigned in 1968 with a promise to get out of Vietnam and stop sending our young men to the meat grinder. (As Putin is doing now to distract his citizens from his stealing from them.) The Vietnam war was still dragging on 4 years later. The Dems put up a weak candidate in McGovern and Nixon crushed him. Nixon's war ending promise was a lie in 1968 and it was a lie in 1972.

Fast forward to today when a billionaire invests $270 million to deceive voters, illegally tampers with the election, gets his puppet (another conman thief) elected and buys control of OUR government. For his ego, pet projects and huge financial gain. He bribes formerly honorable elected Congressmen to give his companies hundreds of billions in US government contracts, paid for by US citizens. Contracts that he leverages into a $2.1 Trillion IPO ($1 Trillion in his pocket.) A quarter of one billion dollars invested in a false flag election tampering project, to reap 1,000 billion dollars! From 0.25 to 1,000 in two years! A world record return on investment!

And there is no one in sight who has the balls to stop this gigantic thieving from the American citizens. Press? Afraid of being sued. Democratic opposition? There's a few who are beginning to object and tell the truth. It's a long way to go to shut down these scams. And claw back the money they stole using tricks and deception.

eliza james's avatar

There are 1200+ comments on this story and the AI Conversation Summary says: "The comments express widespread skepticism and disbelief regarding the claim that the FBI thwarted an attack on a UFC event at the White House. Many commenters mock the credibility of Kash Patel and the administration, suggesting the story is fabricated or exaggerated. There is a general sentiment of distrust towards the administration and the media, with calls for tangible evidence to support the claims." hahahahaha

Suel J's avatar

Waiting for confirmation from any credible source. Eyebrows are remaining in raised scepticism position.

Major Kong's avatar

Or Susan Collins concerned furrow.

Nancy Lent Lanoue's avatar

eliza- had to laugh at this one too because I thought maybe AI will turn on it's greedy minders and oligarchs by telling the truth!

bruce somers's avatar

Gavin Newsom announced yesterday the DOJ is investigating him,well,because...

Democrat.

Nora's avatar

dumpy's limp handshake reminds me of the way a Countess might extend her hand to a dashing Frenchman to kiss it. Take a gander at dumpy's left hand dangling at his side. It's swollen and unsightly. I'm so sorry that President Macron had to touch that syphilitic hand for that photo.

Nora's avatar

In his addled mind he figured he could easily take a woman down and show her,(and everyone else), who's boss. Even in three inch heels, she was able to stand her ground. dumpy looked shaky and was using her hand to support himself. Poor Brigitte, I hope she was able to wipe that hand off somewhere afterwards, until she could sterilize her hand and clean her jacket off from his other diseased hand.

DebJS's avatar

You know that skin has to peel off at some point, quite possibly when he's shaking hands and worse, if he's been sweating. Ewww!!!!

Eva's avatar

They did it with KUNG FU!

Major Kong's avatar

Those cats were fast as lightening. In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

It’s such a shame that Dumpy Donald is “president” during our 250th bday

Robert Eckert's avatar

He is not a President. A President "takes care that the laws are faithfully executed" with no authority to decide which laws he does or does not like, or which sums of lawfully appropriated money he wants to be spent as the Congress directed. He thinks he is our boss: a President is our servant, but the concept of "public service" is alien to him. He was not eligible to run in the first place, since the constitution plainly states that the appeal from a finding that a candidate was an insurrectionist is to the Congress, with no role whatsoever for the Supreme Court. The Court simply usurped a political power that it is not entitled to, as they did in Bush v. Gore.

The Presidency is vacant. The Congress has abdicated. The Supreme Court is treasonous. The Constitutional Republic that millions fought, bled, and died for expired a year ago January. Whether it can be resurrected remains to be seen.

DebJS's avatar

He must be confusing the word "executed" with "execution" and has been faithfully executing as many laws and customs as humanly possible.

Synonyms for "execution":

STRONG

beheading

crucifixion

decapitation

electrocution

gassing

hanging

hit

impalement

punishment

shooting

strangling

strangulation

WEAK

capital punishment

contract killing

guillotining

lethal injection

necktie party

rubout

Nancy Lent Lanoue's avatar

Agree, Lynn, 1000%! A world class "I told you so" for Ben Franklin if he were living today. .(referring to "A REPUBLIC IF YOU CAN KEEP IT" quote attributed to him when he was approached with the question,

" Well,Doctor, what have we got, a republic or a monarchy?"

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

This is completely bogus nonsense! The SS repeatedly warned of this Trump spectacle outdoors…

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

Kash is going to get Blantons to make a commemorative bottle for the thwarted attack!

Maui Wahine's avatar

Sharks wearing laser beams were going to attack? Wow!

Robert Eckert's avatar

The UFC event featuring "oiled-up, sweaty men in fluorescent thongs whaling the crap out of each other" or, as an Internet-winning post on Wonkette put it, "Buttery males"

Brian Riley's avatar

While I tend to believe whatever comes out of the administration is a lie, the unfortunate truth is that if some group didn't try a drone attack there that would be news in itself. The question would be the embellishment of it.

Elizabeth Ratkovich's avatar

That was my first thought too when I read this headline.

JsuttraL's avatar

The reflecting pool is doing it’s job now that the work is complete: It reflects the incompetences and utter wastefulness of this regime

HI2thDoc's avatar

They inadvertently turned the "Reflecting Pond" into an algae research facility. RFK Jr, go for a dip!

Stephen Schiff's avatar

As blue paint is more absorptive than white, painting the pool blue makes it more efficient in warming the water, thus both prolonging and intensifying the algal season.

On the other hand the algae take up CO2. If only they would harvest and sequester it they'd have a decent high school science project.

Blue dye is next, mark my words.

Bob's avatar

The primary reason for he algae is the water is drawn from the Tidal Basin instead of DC’s drinking water supply, a change made several years ago because people who actually think beyond 30 seconds from now realize it’s a stupid waste of drinking water to fill any decorative “water feature.”

Bob Dunn's avatar

Copper sulfate is commonly used in ponds, but one has to be cautious when dosing so as not to make the water toxic.

Bob's avatar

I wish I could trust this administration with anything requiring caution.

HI2thDoc's avatar

They were all absent the day science was taught

Cheri Collins's avatar

Yeah, that One Day. Only one. 🤬🤬🤬

Mingo's avatar

The MAGA assclowns are de-funding science. Next thing will be mixing bleach with Ajax to get rid of the algae since H2O2, I mean hydrogen peroxide doesn't work. Their blue dye will be a truckload of Tidy Bowl pods. Swish and swirl.

Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Mingo, maybe they should try hydroxychloroquine. If that doesn't work, then maybe ivermectin will🤓🖖

Cathy Wray's avatar

Tidy Bowl Pods!!!,Hahaha!!

Hollie Rood's avatar

The trucks are loaded and ready!

Frank Nuts's avatar

No Stephen, I’m pretty sure it will be orange dye…with a combover

Joe Witkowski's avatar

It is going anaerobic like Dementia Donnnie’s skull cavity. No oxygen, deadly levels of hydrogen sulfide (H2S). What a bunch of fucking epic losers and failures.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Donnie's diaper emits high levels of hydrogen sulfide, the rotten egg gas

Joe Witkowski's avatar

Toxicity by ConcentrationThe health risks of \(H_{2}S\) are tied to its concentration in the air, measured in parts per million (ppm).10–20 ppm: Standard permissible exposure limits. Exposure can cause irritation to the eyes and respiratory system, as well as headaches.100 ppm: Classified as Immediately Dangerous to Life or Health (IDLH). This concentration causes olfactory fatigue, meaning the ability to smell the gas is lost quickly, making it highly deceptive.500 ppm and above: High concentrations are life-threatening and can lead to rapid respiratory failure and loss of consciousness.Why It Is So DangerousSystemic Effects: At high levels, \(H_{2}S\) impacts the central nervous system, which can inhibit the body's natural respiratory drive.Cellular Toxicity: It acts as a toxin that prevents cells from effectively utilizing oxygen, leading to chemical asphyxiation.Olfactory Fatigue: While it has a distinct "rotten egg" odor at low levels, higher concentrations disable the sense of smell. This makes the gas insidious, as individuals may not realize they are in a high-risk environment once the odor is no longer detectable.Safety and Regulatory ResourcesBecause \(H_{2}S\) is heavier than air, it tends to accumulate in low-lying or poorly ventilated areas like sewers and industrial sites.Review the OSHA Hydrogen Sulfide Hazards Guide for information on workplace safety and exposure metrics.Consult the CDC NIOSH Pocket Guide on Hydrogen Sulfide for emergency response guidelines and recommended exposure limits.

Cathy Rady's avatar

I had to hold my nose while 'liking' this LOL

Bob's avatar

I asked Claude how much hydrogen peroxide would be needed to raise the concentration in the reflecting pool to 3%, like the stuff at the drug store:

342,857 gallons of 35% H₂O₂ solution

Those guys are going to pouring it out of 1-gallon jugs through the next administration.

HI2thDoc's avatar

I think chlorine should be the treatment of choice rather than peroxide

Kim Steeves's avatar

While I agree with the treatment, I do worry/ wonder what effect that will have on the wildlife and people who enjoy the algae pool!

Bob's avatar

One would think so, or chloramine, which is what drinking water is treated with. Less harmful than chlorine alone.

michellefromchicago's avatar

Only if he leaves his jeans on

arne link's avatar

Good one! What do his legs actually look like? No one knows.

michellefromchicago's avatar

Perhaps his refreshing swim in the sewer contaminated creek mutated him, giving him frog legs with flippers

Jan Moon's avatar

We need to get RFK Jr. in there with his grandchildren. They'll be able to gauge the level of death.

Also, the sight of those guys pouring gallons of H2O2 into the Reflecting Pool is a lot like watching someone pissing in the ocean to raise the tide.

Cheri Collins's avatar

🤮 Damn, Arne, I’m eating!

Cathy Rady's avatar

Algae Toilets 'R Us

HI2thDoc's avatar

"Where's the seat on this thing? Where's my cocaine?!"

Mingo's avatar

Lincoln Project has a picture of RFK Jr in the algae filled Reflecting Pond in his jeans on their website.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

First bring Muriatic acid by several tankers to dump their loads in the mess… screw that, since Muriatic is diluted Hydrochloric acid, give RFKJr. the real treasure chest treatment of floating in a pool of hydrochloric acid…

Bob Bowden's avatar

To punish the original Narcissus, the gods caused him to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. To punish Orange Shitler, God infested the just renovated D.C. reflecting pool with green algae so the dotard leans forward to glimpse his own image and falls face-first into the slime he created

Diana's avatar

I like how you think Bob- thanks for the chuckle 🤭

arne link's avatar

Sure, but he got to dip his beak into the $14 ,000, 000 so it's all good. /s

Frank Nuts's avatar

Isn’t that the truth Arnie

Hilary M's avatar

Perfectly stated 👌

Cat Cafe's avatar

It becomes the Swamp

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

The image of Trump stumbling through the G7 half-asleep while everyone pretends this is normal says more than any speech could. He wants to be feared like a strongman, but he looks like a sundowning landlord being dragged through international diplomacy by handlers who forgot to pack the dignity. The scary part is not just that he’s declining. It’s that the whole system keeps arranging chairs around the decline and calling it leadership.

SethTriggs's avatar

There's a lot of people paid $$$$ to be professionally credulous about whatever he says and does! Some people even get Internet clout from it. And so many institutions want to bend the knee for him. It's amazing.

Carl Maniscalco's avatar

I thinks it’s less a matter of credulity and more along the lines of carefully dealing with a crazy person who has access to nuclear weapons .

kdsherpa's avatar

(The first sentence of the first reply to your post sounds racist. Hopefully it was not intended. If so, I am very sorry.)

Frank Nuts's avatar

Seth, “bending the knee” is the polite expression the reporters use (if they dare even saying that). In all actuality what’s happening is dropping trou

Frank Nuts's avatar

Dropping trau preceded by “bending over and”

bruce somers's avatar

Francesco Franco is still dead.

Frank Nuts's avatar

Generalísimo has a rare form of persistent, ongoing, relentless and unfortunately terminal death brought on by deadly dying… much like trump’s Iran war.

bruce somers's avatar

$300 billion to Iran...victory!!!

DJ Headthrob's avatar

True dat. It's like rearranging diapers on the Titanic (ass).

Carol C's avatar

Wow, VMB! Accurate and with great metaphors!

Frank Nuts's avatar

Well said Virgin!

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Uhhhh he has “been declined for years”

SethTriggs's avatar

I am someone who always expects incompetence from Maladministrations, but this is even next level.

And of course Obama is blamed for the algae in the Reflecting Pool because the racism is what animates the terrible, terrible people who vote for America's Pilonidal Cyst. That's why they gladly voted for him despite everyone warning that he would completely destroy the economy and make everything worse. So blame the Black guy, and it tickles the cultists (and the professionally credulous) in their down-theres.

And yet again something APC touches is destroyed.

It's utterly humiliating to see this addle-pated, decrepit mantoddler there. Probably every room he's been in at the G7 smells like an abattoir. I wonder if skin and bronzer sloughed off in Macron's hand after he got that weak-ass handshake.

M3333's avatar

President Obama left office on 1-20-2017! Nine years later he is responsible for the algae in the reflecting pool! The photo of the guy pouring a bottle of hydrogen peroxide into a 4 million gallon pool was so representative of the Trump “administration”! They FUCK UP everything!!

Cathy Rady's avatar

So - if one of the reflecting pool's issues is that it leaked, where exactly is that (highly diluted) peroxide/water gonna go?

Into the Potomac? DC's drinking water? killing all the grass between the Lincoln and Washington monuments?

OTOH - if they added enough chemicals they could then use the pool to sanitize Prezident Shitter's garb - cuz anything within range of his waist, and then going southward, is teeming with e Coli. especially his Florsheim's.

SethTriggs's avatar

Thankfully DC's drinking water comes from upstream but this is definitely going to cause problems. Ultimately this is all a problem of an incompetent micromanager who doesn't know shit about anything inserting his nose into stuff he has no business doing.

William's avatar

the peroxide will react / decompose and plants have peroxidase, so guessing this is the non-toxic approach- it would be easy to kill the algae by making the water actually toxic, but birds drink from it, etc. so they can't do that.

guessing this won't work for long as it will just select for oxidative stress tolerance.

PlasticFish's avatar

I read somewhere this morning that it'll take roughly 8000 litres of H2O2 to treat the entire pool. That's about 2100 gallons. Assuming 1-gallon jugs and 1 minute to uncap and pour out each one, that's about 35 hours.

SethTriggs's avatar

Maybe if they knew how to plan they'd have researched first and learned not to paint the pool a dark color. And failing that, even hire a company with an actual tank truck of hydrogen peroxide (but of course this issue will continue to happen). And competence would get in the way of the grifting, of course.

Dave Drell's avatar

Sounds like you are in the pool business Seth! Oh, you know more than the pool fools they hired!

SethTriggs's avatar

The funny thing is I didn’t, but I had to learn it. Every fuckup or WTF moment of Maladministration 1.0 or 2.0 teach us new things every day. Where 1.0 taught us about obscure legal terminology in criminal law and immunology, 2.0 teaches us about superposition, ontology, and bad construction practice!

DebJS's avatar

But as we all know, Trump acts first and thinks never and if he doesn't like how a job is done he won't pay for it.

arne link's avatar

I'm quite sure that Macron used industrial-strength hand sanitizer after that shit. Ugh. To have to touch the hand that gropes the diaper is just repulsive. Macron has a strong stomach.

bruce somers's avatar

Sacre bleu!!! Who left the limburger out??

myhoopbabies's avatar

I always imagine the moments directly following those handshakes when they realize their hand is covered in bright orange bronzer. Toxic waste abatement, stat!!

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Ugh! I’m furious that Macron invited him to an event at Versailles! He should be shunned by all G7 leaders

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Trump's paw reminds me of the Dead Man's Hand I made as a kid for Halloween -- cold mush in a rubber glove we dared young Trick or Treaters to shake. Screams always followed.

Dave Drell's avatar

The screams now are our allies realizing they have to be in the same room as this two bit grifter clown

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Let's be clear Seth, Trump described Netanyahu as "fucking crazy" in an angry phone call, ordering him not to strike Beirut while the US was seeking a deal with Iran. And yet none of us has seen the MOU, or if the 300 Billion dollar fix Iran fund is actually real or not.

SethTriggs's avatar

We can check into the Straits of Schrödinger but we're never going to check out!

Natalia Lincoln's avatar

Oh, like this? “We can check out any time we like… but we can never lee-ee-eave!” (electric guitar: bwanna bwanna bweeee) “Welcome… to the Straits of Epstein Island…”

DJ Headthrob's avatar

Maybe Orange Jabba can just give them the Qatari jet and call it quits.

HI2thDoc's avatar

He never gives, only gets played or takes

bruce somers's avatar

Throw in JD too...good deal.

Stephen Brady's avatar

Look at the positioning of tRump's hand. Nobody with normal motor control would shake hands like that and it is on the right where he has that facial droop. Dear Leader had a Left-sided CVA (Stroke) in an area called the Motor Strip. Yeah - I'm old enough to have learned how to diagnose a stroke from the signs and symptoms. Don't rub it in. But this is the light at the end of the tunnel. Old medical aphorism - 'one stroke begets another'.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

I read that it's also why he leans to the right when he falls asleep in his chair. His right side is much weaker and can't hold him up. Reference the picture from fight night when he went nighty-night and other Oval Office pics of his sleepy self.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Trump belongs in the hospital bed adjacent to Mitch McConnell's. He could babble away about his ballroom for hours while Mitch sits propped up staring vacantly like a brain worm. Nurse Karma, are you listening?

arne link's avatar

May the good lord hear our prayer.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

Lord graciously hear us 🙏

Robin D's avatar

I have been hoping not for his death, but a catastrophic event that leaves him like a mushy, steamed, flaccid vegetable with "locked in syndrome". Can't move, can't speak. Blink one for yes Donnie, two for no. I have a dear friend who suffered a debilitating stroke and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...but I'll make an exception for someone I truly hate and despise. Enjoy Dozy D. May you live to be 100 and suffer the rest of your days for what you have done.

Robert Eckert's avatar

I hope the begetting doesn't require nine months' gestation.

Stephen Brady's avatar

Once someone has a stroke, their chance of another rises a lot. But, they can happen at any time.

Richard Dorset's avatar

Sir, you have a way with words. Literary and funny.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Certainly Seth, the stain of a coverup is on everything he touches!

Major Kong's avatar

I commented above that it seems there was a "President" who was "elected" after Obama despite losing the popular vote by 3 million. Why didn't he handle the Reflecting Pool then?

SethTriggs's avatar

Oh now, we all know that only Democrats have accountability and responsibility for everything! America’s Pilonidal Cyst is just a force of nature and we all have to bend our will to it of course!

Stephen Brady's avatar

I still think of him as America’s Perianal Abscess. Much stinkier than a Plonidal Cyst.

SethTriggs's avatar

That's fair! I mainly use that name because it's a symptom...of a whole bunch of other terrible things. Because he himself is a symptom of very bad things in America.

Stephen Brady's avatar

As an Intern I scrubbed on a drainage procedure for one. We all rubbed Oil of Wintergreen on our masks and still the smell was overpowering!

Alexander Crouton-Skitch's avatar

Re: the former Reflecting Pool -- After unsuccessful attempts to turn it clear, they are now attempting to turn it blonde.

HI2thDoc's avatar

A peroxide shortage would cause a panic in MAGA/Fox News circles

bruce somers's avatar

Ouch...right in the botox.

HI2thDoc's avatar

To MAGAs botox is the part of your anatomy you sit on

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

Dozin' Donny: They're adding some chemical to the Great Reflecting Pond to kill the green algae that Joe Biden and Hussein Obama dumped there. It's the same stuff my late wife used in her hair. Ivanka has that color hair, too. Maybe the pond will end up looking like my daughter. If the pond were a girl, I'd date it.

LORI  D's avatar

Maybe we can bury that algae at Zorro Ranch so no one can find it

Belfora's avatar

HAHAHA! Ok LORI D, your comment wins the day for me. I can now get back to work.

Jane S.'s avatar

Back when the painting started, one of the news outlets, maybe the NY Times, had a whole story on the history of algae and the Reflecting Pool. Reading it, I surmised that nothing would be fixing it any time soon -- so this whole charade coulda/shoulda been skipped. Hos own damn fault for saying he could fix something without ever wondering why it was a problem. Now, irrespective of context, everyone will think of Trump when they think of pond scum in DC.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

"Piss Gold", Shitler's favorite.

Kay-El's avatar

1. That’s a piecemeal deal, or for Trump a Happy Meal

2. I had a pool at my old house. Peroxide will not do the trick, not that I even tried, because I’m not an idiot. It takes loads of yucky chemicals like chlorine shock.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Once upon a long time ago

We had a definite way

To limit Iran's access to nukes

It was the JCPOA

This was a multilateral treaty

A diplomatic masterstroke

Crafted by the Obama team

Until trump the dumbass joke

Decided to withdraw from it

For no good reason in sight

He was manipulated by Bibi

To start an unnecessary fight

He and Hegseth gloated

As they murdered innocents

"Iran's nukes were imminent!

This is not a war but self-defense!"

Iran responded predictably

And closed off the Strait

The flow of oil ceased

Another inept trumpgate

Weeks go by, inflation spikes

13 of our military are killed

Yet the rhetoric from the MAGA crowd?

They're triumphant and they're thrilled

Now they float some mythical deal

It made the markets jump

Pay $300 billion to get owned by Iran

From that lifelong fuckup trump

Hilary M's avatar

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Susie's avatar

This is one for the archives, Doc!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Jane's avatar

👏👏👏😁😁😁

Butch's avatar

It was discouraging to me that even MS Now fell for this peace deal hallucination, spending hours and hours Sunday afternoon discussing something everyone with the intelligence God gave an acorn squash knew was nonsense.

Joyce's avatar

Yesterday, there was an extensive discussion of how much more money Donnie Demento is going to pay Iran to let him stop his Not A War, as well as offering terms less than the original treaty Obama's team negotiated, as well as not specifying that Iran can't charge tolls on the re-opened formerly open Strait. It was quite an evisceration.

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Not to mention Iran’s nuclear capabilities & oversight by other nations was not dealt with

Richard Dorset's avatar

Yes, very discouraging. As were the breathless headlines in the NYT. How about this approach: Headline: Trump announces peace deal but provides no details. Sub headline: US and Iran offer conflicting explanations of what is agreed to.

arne link's avatar

That would be committing a journalism and they don't do that.

Polly Sears's avatar

We must have been viewing a different MSNOW. I heard them picking the "Deal " ,apart- like every other channel.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

But you can run pharmaceutical ads in between “we don’t know” “experts”

Gina's avatar

haha, the acorn squash bit had me laughing thru my tears

Joyce's avatar

I saw a Fox News [sic] headline that claimed the UFC cage fight was better/more exciting/thrilling (I don't remember the ass-kissing word they used) than the Knicks' championship win.

I think that I lost about 8 brain cells just reading the headline.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

I saw the Knicks refused to go to the White House so in Trump's mind they must now suck.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

The coward always preferred the San Antonio Bone Spurs

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The Reflecting Swamp has nothing compared to Fox News for anaerobic bacteria.

Cathy Rady's avatar

POTUS is a narcissistic, fire-hose spewing anaerobic bacterial factory

Paula Dean's avatar

You got off light! Seeing something that absurd makes my head explode 🤯

kdsherpa's avatar

Two additions:

(1) Macron could have power-shooked the barbaric orange pedophilic sadist's hand, yanked him over, and then said with the ultimate in concern and politeness, ""Monsieur le Président, permettez-moi de vous aider à vous relever."

(2) Iran brought two psychologists to the negotiations for ending the attack on Iran. The doctors are specialists in: Dementia, Narcissism, and Anti-Social personality disorder. Not joking.

arne link's avatar

Wow. Really? Those mullahs are pretty smart.

kdsherpa's avatar

I agree! Too bad our Cabinet isn't even just half as smart.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Half? Too bad they're not 100th as smart. It will go down in history as the worst cabinet ever.

kdsherpa's avatar

You're absolutely right. 1% as smart.

Rachel C's avatar

Well, look who picked them 👹

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

Donny is going with the limp fish handshake. His hand hurts, and probably his doctors told him (if he ever listens to them), not to stress it.

Mrs Mild has lymphodema from breast cancer surgery. She doesn't shake hands if she can avoid it, but when she does she offers the limp fish hand (horizontal, palm down) to signal the recipient not to go in for the squeeze.

kdsherpa's avatar

I am sorry that Mrs. Mild is having to deal with that painful disease. I feel compassion for her.

For the barbaric orange pedophilic sadist, I see karma coming to bite him in the arse and find it funny.

Alexander Crouton-Skitch's avatar

What and how much of it have they infused into him to keep him upright in France after his doze-off duty under "The Claw?"

arne link's avatar

At this point, drugs are the only thing keeping him upright for short periods of time. You can easily see when he is up and when the drugs start to wear off. I'm just hoping that he doesn't push the nuke button while sundowning.

bruce somers's avatar

He's probably tried to push the nuke button many times,he gets a Diet Coke,and then forgets who he wanted to nuke today...

arne link's avatar

Sigh. You're probably right.

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

I think the nuclear button is more than just a button.

And all words coming from dumb shit rump ….. probably not taken at face value

Merrill's avatar

We are living through the MOST corrupt, mean spirited, anti-American presidential administration in our history. It is an Ultra Fight Club circus writ large in national, partisan politics. The world is both laughing at us and ignoring us. If it was all constrained to a comedy movie it might be funny. But it's our everyday reality. Ugh. Trump needs to resign or go the way of all flesh.

Cathy Rady's avatar

my vote is for Door #2

Lucyherz's avatar

In fairness, the Reflecting Pool is still taller than the Sears (Willis) Tower, though. 🤣🤣🤣

Polly Sears's avatar

I am a Sears, and, I object!

Lucius's avatar

Personally, I'm fine with him sleeping through the whole thing. The less he talks the less we get embarrassed by him.

Cathy Rady's avatar

True . . . although we know it's actually Stephen Miller who's doing the talking,

Donnie's merely the megaphone.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Coming soon: "The Art of Schlemiel"

HI2thDoc's avatar

That Urban guy, whoever TF he is, looks like a Bond villain. Damn, this regime is full of them