shh! don’t wake Preznit Fuckwit — Oval Bordello clown shows make him sleepy

the Nodfather snoozes again

that’s right, the narcoleptic old fart factory’s brain went sleepy-bye again yesterday, right in the middle of an Oval Bordello dog-and-pony show.

but before we get to that—

you gotta say this about Dear Leader: he’s not about to let a silly little thing like being an utter fucking moron stop him from saying the stupidest shit imaginable.

“I look at these beautiful little babies and they get a vat, like a big— glass, of— of stuff pumped into their bodies. I think it’s a very negative thing to do. and I would like to see it— I would love to see much smaller shots, like four visits to the doctor. and I think you would have a much better result with the autism.”

folks, don’t take medical advice from an imbecile. on top of that, don’t take medical advice from an imbecile who gets his medical advice from a crackpot like Bobby Brainworms Jr. — because that’s exactly who filled Donny’s ear with that discredited bullshit about vaccines causing autism. (spoiler alert: they don’t.)

but that’s all it took for Donny — a shitwit who thinks magnets stop working if they get wet — to become a self-styled expert on the size and quantity of vaccines: one conversation with whale-head-chainsawing maniac.

and because Donny is the ultimate bullshit artist, he has to frame it as something he’s witnessed with his own two eyes. he looked at these beautiful babies. it happened when Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies. and Donny saw one of the babies. and the baby looked at Donny — and it was getting a big vat of vaccines.

you know what’s happening here, don’t you? on top of all the other abhorrent behavior of Donny’s that we’ve normalized, we’ve now normalized loudmouthism.

Dear Leader is a loudmouth who has to have an opinion on every fucking thing.

Donny’s no different from the know-it-all at the end of the bar who looks up from his fourth Jack and Coke and says ‘you know what? they should be giving babies smaller shots.’

oh, really? okay, that’s great, Todd. now shut the fuck up.

except that unlike Todd the Barfly, Donny sits atop an entire government, and has the power to inflict his lunacy on all of us.

it’s not normal. no other president ever needed to present themselves as the ultimate expert on everything. only the current inhabitant of the White House — a weak, insecure narcissist with the impulse control of a coked-up squirrel — has felt the need to obey the shrieking noises inside his own head that command him to never shut the fuck up about knowing more about everything than everybody.

and so Donny sits there and craps out some drek about all the beautiful babies who are being forced to endure vats of drugs (fact check: they’re not. infant vaccines are between 0.5 and 0.25ml) — and every one of the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press nods their head and goes ‘well, I guess so.’

ugh, I’m rage-spiraling again. Flippy McCrushnuts, get in here and do your thing.

thanks, man. now we can move on.

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Donny isn’t just being ill-informed by the bear cub kidnapper. he’s also being fed dangerous horse shit by the Shit-Blizzard of Oz.

Dr Oz: “one in three Americans are under-babied.”

that’s right, you might be one of the hundred million Americans who are currently suffering from the heartbreak of under-baby — and not even know it.

Oz just made that shit up. because I’m a Responsible Journalist and Everything™, I googled the term ‘under-babied’ — and I can confirm that it didn’t exist prior to yesterday’s Oval Bordello dog-and-pony show.

this whole ‘under-baby’ business is just more white supremacy from Oz and his racist cohort, who believe that white women aren’t squirting out enough babies, and the swarthy hordes from south of the border are going to out-breed us. so now it’s official government policy to turn as many women as possible into forced incubators.

we’re gonna turn our under-babied nation into a over-babied powerhouse. in your face, swarthy hordes!

and every one of those over-babies is going to get a shitload of tiny little vaccines, instead of that one big vat that gives you a bad case of the autisms.

great. lucky us.

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here’s a fun thing that Don Snoreleone did during yesterday’s presser: he fell fast asleep, because of course he did.

sawing logs at noon while filling the room with the pungent aroma of ass music is perfectly normal stuff — especially after you’ve been awake the entire night, posing Q-Anon memes onto your crappy app.

here’s the best part: after Reuters actually published a photo of the Nodfather completely conked out, the official White House twitter account posted the dumbfuckiest explanation imaginable.

“he was blinking, you absolute moron.”

oh sure, a perfectly credible explanation. after all, who among us hasn’t committed one long blink that lasted for five entire minutes?

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Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants’ handlers took a huge chance yesterday, and put two public appearances on his schedule. after sleeping his way through the noon-time press conference, his minders propped him up in front of a microphone for a dinner in the Epstein Parking Lot where the Rose Garden used to be.

Donny did not disappoint.

“what a job our military and— others are doing with respect— is that right, Paul? with respect to drugs coming in by sea. meaning drugs coming in by water. by the ocean— because a lot of people don’t know what I mean by sea. they think I’m talking about vision. I’m not— I’m talking about sea, like the sea.”

what in the actual jewel-encrusted fuck?

what the hell is Donny gibbering about? I guarantee you that nobody is confused by the phrase ‘coming in by sea’ and going ‘huh? what does “coming in by see” mean?’

nobody — except for one person: Donny himself.

always remember: with Dear Leader, every accusation is a confession. when Donny says, ‘nobody knows this, but—’ what he means is, ‘here’s a thing I just found out about five minutes ago.’ and when Donny says ‘people don’t know what I mean by sea,’ what he means is that someone recently said that to him, and a confused Donny — lost and wandering in an ever-thickening fog of rapidly advancing dementia and severe cognitive collapse — had to have it explained to him. it’s Donny who didn’t know what the world ‘sea’ meant.

exactly what you want in a president. perfectly normal stuff.

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enough of that. it’s time for some Daily Claudia.

here are two shots of Ms. Spouse and Katie in Plymouth, MA. not sure of the exact year, but it would be around 1994-ish, give or take.

and here’s Ms. Spouse looking pensive, post-lunch at the restaurant 3 Westerly in Ossining, on May 7, 2025.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.