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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit —

it's now confirmed that all six members of the US refueling plane that crashed in Iraq are dead. so let's congratulate Donny as the death count in his illegal war on Iran continues to rise

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cy0dz5ql17vo

SeekingReason's avatar

Hegseth’s asinine speech was another one for the records. We will continue with “no mercy” and then he did an awkward slow motion punch in the air. 😫 We are now set up perfectly for revenge and without our usual allies because this country cannot be trusted.

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

I don't want to "heart" this because it's all so tragic. We are fuuuuuuucked.

James Starr's avatar

We really are.... and 15 mnths into this second phase of a nightmare, there is still no hope in sight.

Walter's avatar

James.. I don't see relief in sight but we have to have some hope. Who knows when it will start manifesting itself but don't lose it. We HAVE to overcome this terrible situation an uninformed public, greedy billionaires and feckless Republicans have created.

Linda Weide's avatar

On the Meidas News today Ben Meiselas threw in some Iranian and Chinese AI pieces mocking Trump and the war about 20 minutes in.

https://meidastouch.substack.com/p/meidastouch-full-podcast-31326-ad?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

I hope Trump sees them. I hear that Trump is begging Iran to end the war, and instead is telling us the war is almost over, and telling his usual lies. His war is murdering people. Tim Mak of Counterintelligence does daily numbers. Paul Krugman had some brief discussion today of the state of oil.

djw's avatar

Thanks for the Meidas link. I love seeing him being mocked.

PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

I listened to about one minute of hegseth’s speech knowing how it’d go. All I remember thinking is why does he have to be such a juvenile fucking asshole? The name calling reminds me of the middle school boys I work with.

Richard Spiering's avatar

Pete is an excitable drunk...

PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

I think he gets sexually excited talking about blowing up Iranians. But…it could be anyone, I think. What’s the word for that? Sadist?

Marcia Meier's avatar

Sociopath, or psychopath.

Sue's avatar

I've been calling this administration sadists since the start. I was wondering why others weren't also accurately referring to them as sadists, but I see some are. Referring to them as sociopaths is also accurate.

kdsherpa's avatar

Me, too! While I was watching the repugnicant primary debates in 2016, I said, "This guy is a SADIST!" Since then, I have refused to speak his foul name. Instead, he is the Orange Sadist -- recently changed to have a middle name, the Orange Pedophilic Sadist. Yes, it takes longer to type. But well worth it.

Linda Weide's avatar

Yes, Sick-twisted-evil-sadist. This is from Malcolm Nance about Hegseth. The lines he focuses on would make a good meme. He is talking about it about 24 minutes in.

https://malcolmnance.substack.com/p/us-iran-warcast-day-14-live-w-malcolm?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Linda Weide's avatar

This is from Malcolm Nance about Hegseth. The lines he focuses on would make a good meme. He is talking about it about 24 minutes in.

https://malcolmnance.substack.com/p/us-iran-warcast-day-14-live-w-malcolm?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

kdsherpa's avatar

Not seeing it.

PTW's avatar
2hEdited

I thought your were going to post a link to "Lawyers, Guns, and Money."

Dave the Spot-on Moron's avatar

He is such a douchebag. He seems to think he’s cool. He just sounds like a weak minded idiot.

Patricia Williamson's avatar

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit."

CroneEver's avatar

Basically, Heggie always sounds like Kevin Bacon in Animal House: "ALL IS WELL!!!! STAY CALM!!! ALL IS WELL!!!!"

Linda Weide's avatar

This is from Malcolm Nance about Hegseth. THe lines he focuses on would make a good meme. He is talking about it about 24 minutes in.

https://malcolmnance.substack.com/p/us-iran-warcast-day-14-live-w-malcolm?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Mike Hammer's avatar

A most serious (and unique)case of Arrested Development and douchebaggery.

Frank Nuts's avatar

Arrested Development is one of my all time favorite shows Mike.

I just want to say thanks for ruining it for me. Now when I think about it I’ll always be picturing poopy pants’ family.

Amazing how sometimes life imitates art.

Sadly, you are right: there is no better real life example of Arrested Development than the trump family…with one exception: Jason Bateman was the one sane person in the family.

Whereas with the trump family there is no one in or anywhere near the family who is sane, not evil or (mostly) both.

Sheila D's avatar

and her brother, Fred Trump III

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

Don't forget INSANELY wealthy, entitled, and vindictive. No halfway intelligent lawmaker will cross them.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

Let's save time and reserve a suite (with makeup studio) at the Hague.

celeste k.'s avatar

I'm concerned that we as citizens of a country gone 'rogue' will be punished as well, thanks to those who voted for the traitor.

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Why make a reservation? There’s no time like the present. And when someone finally arrests Donny, I’m sure walk-ins will be welcome.

Linda Weide's avatar

Yesterday Ben Meiselas and Malcolm Nance talked about the concern of Hegseth with his looks. This is from Malcolm Nance about Hegseth today. The lines he focuses on would make a good meme. He is talking about it about 24 minutes in.

https://malcolmnance.substack.com/p/us-iran-warcast-day-14-live-w-malcolm?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Paula Dean's avatar

Did you see that Kegsbreath didn't like the photos the press used from that adolescent speech, so now "no more photos will be allowed to be taken"? His vanity is more important than the content of his stupid press conferences.

Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

Andy Borowitz is doing an excellent job of sharing the ugly photos Kegsbreath doesn't want us to see! Check out Notes.

Linda Weide's avatar

See Hegseth today through Malcolm Nance's eyes. The lines he focuses on would make a good meme. He is talking about it about 24 minutes in.

https://malcolmnance.substack.com/p/us-iran-warcast-day-14-live-w-malcolm?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

celeste k.'s avatar

I 'liked ' this because I agree that we are alone in the world, and with a traitor at the helm. And no, we cannot be trusted anymore.

Jane's avatar

Well what about when he talked about Ellison taking over CNN?

Linda Weide's avatar

Malcolm Nance has been doing daily podcasts of the Iran war together with Danish former agent Jacob Kaarsbo, and he was going off on what Hegseth said about the Strait of Hormuz.

https://malcolmnance.substack.com/p/us-iran-warcast-day-14-live-w-malcolm?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Not only can we not be trusted we also have completely uneducated people running things.

Megan Ross's avatar

Those "suckers and losers" won't even get a mention from The Convicted Felon. He's too busy being distracted by blondes in his pressers. Gawd, I hate that pig.

Brooks R Susman's avatar

C'mon, like Hiccup Hegseth proudly proclaims, "we're killers"; sometimes our own, but that's okay, 'cause we're warriors/killers.

Susan Rockefeller's avatar

Easy for that coward to say while living on a military base for protection. 🤮🤮🤢🤢😈😈

Anne's avatar

shit. swear I just read something saying two survived. sigh. shouldn't have been there. More deaths laid at trump's feet.

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

He doesn’t care

Kevin Rice's avatar

Does anyone know if Linda Weide has a link to Malcolm Nance's substack handy?

Cathy Wray's avatar

What the fuck is wrong with Linda W???

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Of course, we have to rely on foreign news agencies to deliver us the truth

Demented Donny descending into madness and wants to take us all with him.

Isaac Segal's avatar

Trump meets more than a couple criteria for an actual mental disorder I recently discovered: "schizophasia." You could look it up.

SeekingReason's avatar

Perfectly suitable description!

Linda Weide's avatar

The numbers of dead and wounded are going to grow, and all to fill Trump and his family and friend's already overfull coffers. It is absolutely sickening to me.

I attended an anti war rally yesterday in Germany, the country where the surviving soldiers get flown to Ramstein airbase for treatment. There is no airbase in this city, but my husband did read in the paper today that some of the strategic reserves or oil that are being released are coming from our city here. I wonder how people here will receive that news. I instead wrote about the rally, but it is mainly pictures of signs, because I could not hear the speakers that well, and did not have means to take notes.

https://lindaweide.substack.com/p/i-attended-an-anti-war-rally-in-bremen?r=f0qfn

Mike Phelan's avatar

“The battle in which you are locked today is the mother of all battles…Our rendezvous with victory is very near, God willing”-Saddam Hussein.

Sounds familiar doesn’t it. Shit didn’t workout so hot for that evil bastard and things are likely going that way for this “excursion” too.

Anita Butler's avatar

It s so sad and just because the idiot wants to “fix” the whole world. He has already ruined our country in less then a year 😱

Julie's avatar

It’s just heartbreaking and so unnecessary and dangerous. I’m afraid he won’t stop until he gets to play with some nukes. He and Kegbreath are sadists and bloodthirsty trolls. It’s frightening as fuck.

SeekingReason's avatar

There isn’t a subject on planet earth that he can’t turn in to something about himself! Truly an amazing ability! The only ability he has!

Bob Bowden's avatar

He did solve infertility in way less than two minutes with his first wife Ivana the night Don Jr. was conceived

Hal Schwalbe's avatar

In the spirit of giving credit where credit is due, we can't allow ourselves to forget The Orange One's unrivaled ability to bring out the absolute worst in others.

Richard's avatar

Don't forget his commitment to grift.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

The day before Don Old dies, he will shit the bed and tell his nurse "There's never been a pile of shit as big as this pile of shit or as stinky!"

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

At that moment (no different than any other in his pathetic life) it would necessarily call for a superlative so yes that’s right.

Steve Ruis's avatar

Re "Goddammit, here’s a situation that’s annoying as fuck. I just discovered that the item with which I was going to conclude this post is a photoshopped fake — at least, I could not independently verify its existence — and now I’ve written myself into a corner and don’t have a proper ending. if this were a Monty Python sketch, I could just end it with a big foot coming down and crushing everything."

And, by doing that, you proved your standards are higher than the President's, the White House staff's, and the Republican Party's.

Dave Drell's avatar

Jeff did the right thing- but integrity is such a low bar with Republicons it’s actually on the floor - even an ant couldn’t get under

Tess's avatar

Hell yes!!!!!

Paula's avatar

I like the clip of Melania’s speech where he just has to stand by fidgeting and listen to it. You can tell they hate each other and I so love that for them.

Kristina Jurecic's avatar

I'm still stuck on the fact that she called herself a "visionary." I'll try my shtick again: Hey everyone!!!! I'M the real Beyoncé!!!

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

not just a visionary, but one who is 'alone at the top'

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Don't forget laser focused. On what? Hiding an affair? Getting a new hat? Watching paint dry? For the life of me I can't figure out what she does all day.

rlritt's avatar

She shops online.

rlritt's avatar

In between botox injections.

Kip McSherry's avatar

She told us. Multi-tasking. So, SO busy.

Mingo's avatar

Jeff don't fret because she's leezer focused on whatever. She's been in this country 30 years and still can't speak English.

Stephen Brady's avatar

tRump has been in this Country for 80 years and can’t…

DJ Headthrob's avatar

"I am not a "coal-digger!"

Sooz Hall's avatar

Can’t like this. I have friends who’ve been in this country for decades and still have a strong accent from their birth language. Some people just don’t get language sound reproduction. They still have worthwhile things to say.

This does not include the person under discussion of course.

E Braymen's avatar

But can they, like Melania, afford the best tutors for American English ennunciation? I think with resources and effort one absolutely can improve. My Croatian mom, with a high school education, worked so hard on her accent, mostly through listening to the radio and television at first. Then in her early forties she attended community college for two years (got a AA in journalism!) in order to improve her language skills so she could be better understood by her friends and neighbors. It was important to her. And she had these resources, so I'm not comparing to your friends. I think either Melania is brain damaged (which is sad and regrettable) or she just doesn't care.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Well, she does have the jacket..

Sooz Hall's avatar

I agree that with determination (and resources , which she certainly has!) improvement can happen. I do have a reaction to people mocking accents though. Maybe it’s my problem!

rlritt's avatar

She made her living being photogenic and available. Her accent was unimportant.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

I have a friend who came here the same year as Melania (from Mexico) and she speaks English without a trace of an accent — in addition to Spanish and French.

Babe Paley's avatar

Once on Friday Night Videos David Lee Roth talked about how lonely he was at the top, and that’s how my young self realized he was a douche.

rlritt's avatar

On top of what?

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Self proclaimed gigolo. today we call them incels

Dave Drell's avatar

She’s at the top of a shit pile💩

Kristina Jurecic's avatar

The utter loneliness she must be enduring!

Stephen Brady's avatar

Literally - she lives alone at the top of tRump Tower. The visionary alone in her gilded cage.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Uh oh, is there a sequel to "Melania" in the works? The first was such a box office bunker buster. All her fans are waiting breathlessly.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

As Randy Newman wrote, it's lonely at the top.

ynot1965's avatar

I don’t like to comment on people’s looks, but to me she looks like a cross between a lizard and a snake and probably twice as cold blooded.

Kristina Jurecic's avatar

I say that all the time to my sister when we sign off!

Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

Oh, she’s alone, all right. What kind of person would want her as a friend?

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Like her address at the UN? When not plagiarizing Hillary, she’s using AI.

Such a scholar

Bob's avatar

😂😂😂

Jerrold Marsh's avatar

They deserve each other..... Two horrible people.

Kristina Jurecic's avatar

Imagine the scintillating conversations they must have: she, the visionary, and he, the stable genius." Why haven't they solved all the world's problems by now?!!

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Melanie's is the First Lady or maybe the 100th Lady. I'm so confused anymore....

Maria 🇮🇪's avatar

Lady my Arse! She’s No lady!

Epstein’s Ho for a year, then moved onto trump! 🤢🤢🤮

Cheri Collins's avatar

Yes! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Ok Paula, about Melania, near the end of that list (she’s getting to be a big bullshitter now too) anyway she says “and of course my career een thuh feelem eendustree)” and she is right because we know what she did at the Kit Kat Klub and Epstein. Hired her to feelem She probably was not very good at that but it’s on her list.

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

A moronic ninth stage syphilitic

Imagines himself the world's critic

He invaded Iran

With no after plan

He's morally bankrupt, terrific.

His hag of a wife named Melania

Why can't you just go to Slovania?

Your frozen ass face

A first lady disgrace

Hey! You married that moron! Haw haw knee-ya!

Feel free to subscribe to my Substack for a daily or almost-daily posting of limericks, rhymes and songs that express my deep resentment towards that idiot and his sycophantic and entitled brood of wannabe dictators.

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

Wonderful poem, @FrostyMcGillicuddy!!

Annabelle's avatar

It don't get no better than this, Frosty! Perfect!

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

THANK YOU, ANNABELLE!

Dave Drell's avatar

“terrific” - “syphlitic”

hilarious Frosty!

Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂👏👏👏👏👏

rlritt's avatar

I bet if she could walk away with $10 million she would.

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

I bet the prenup has some binding clause of NOT leaving for any cause..

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

Maybe she already has...

rlritt's avatar

Maybe she just has to show up for photo opps.

Tess's avatar

A perfect script today Jeff! He is a blundering fool. I read he called Leavitt- Kellyanne Conway… enough already! Try to have a safe and pleasant weekend everyone!

Mike Hammer's avatar

Kellyanne and Markwayne sitting in a tree ……

Sandra Diesel's avatar

I don’t know about anyone else but hearing Donny talk about women gives me the heebie jeebies, vomit inducing.

Megan Ross's avatar

Hearing TRump talk at all gives me the dry heaves...🤢🤢🤢

Frank Nuts's avatar

I’m with you Sandra. I seem to always throw up a little bit in my mouth when he talks.

What I don’t understand is how any woman could like him; yet, apparently, there are thousands or maybe (god forbid) millions of women who like him. How can that be? Are they masochists?

I understand why lots of men like him. Men are assholes and men tend to admire men that are bigger assholes than themselves. I am free to say this because I am a man and I am well aware of being an asshole. Most men try (including myself) not to be an asshole…but it’s really hard.

In summation: a lot of people seem to think that being the biggest asshole on earth is really cool (just look at the drool on Elon and Lindsey’s faces). I just don’t understand how there could be any women or immigrants in that group.

It’s like a butterfly looking at praying mantis and saying “hey, that guy looks really cool!” WTF

Somebody throw me a bone here

And “‘Splane Lucy”

Lucy Conner's avatar

Women can be assholes, too, so dont kid yourself that they can't. There's also "institutionalized misogyny", which has hundreds of years of practice. "Might makes right" since early times has plenty of women. They are trained in this from birth onward. "Submit to your husbands" and that kind of crap.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

A one-man woman's Saltpeter. Can Stormy ever un-see that mushroom genitalia. The guy's foreplay is right outta Frank (from Blue Velvet).

247kath's avatar
8hEdited

Absolutely! He has no regard or respect. He’s so vile🤬🤮

Sandra Diesel's avatar

I don’t understand nor can I explain but I have hope in the younger generation of men, although many are still assholes. I managed to raise a son who is loving & cherishes his wife & daughters & me (although I have my own problems). Also, my two sons-in-law & my newest grandson-in-law, are kind, responsible & cherish their women. I do believe it’s learned behavior. I am fortunate to have a husband who also has those qualities.

I don’t believe you are an asshole, assholes never recognize themselves as assholes nor admit it! You may do things that you label as asshole but who isn’t at times?

Cathy Rady's avatar

the Monty Python stompy foot is a great ending!

Paula Dean's avatar

This administration is a Monty Python skit.

Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

Yes! Perfect analogy! Just nowhere near as entertaining. . . .

David M Marko's avatar

Practically every member of this administration would qualify for Upper Class Twit of the Year competition.

Cathy Rady's avatar

I'll nominate PeNuts Hegseth for the Silly Walk award.

Paul Jonasse's avatar

A visionary? Laser focused? A philanthropist? (I don’t really care…) A filmmaker? How the fuck did she get through that speech without gagging, laughing, or being struck down by lightning? She left out the one thing I think we might have to concede: actress.

Nancy Braus's avatar

One of the sadder moments of the many we have experienced under the Repub reign of error was the entire United Nations audience sitting respectfully while she blithered on in incomprehensible pseudo-English about how much she cares about kids. Within about 24 hours of hubby being commander of the brave men who blew a girls school to smithereens, killing about 150 girls. Why no shoes being throw? Why did nobody walk out? What does it take for the powerful to exhibit even a bit of spine???

Vicki Bruning's avatar

thanks Nancy, for 'Repub reign of error', love it!

Frank Nuts's avatar

Nancy, wait what? Melanoma was allowed to speak at the United Nations? For what reason? Was there a fashion show scheduled?

…or some brass poles perhaps…

Or Victoria’s Secret has connections?…

There has to be a reason

Nancy Braus's avatar

Because the US has some role of being the big boss of the Security Council this month, and Donny didn’t feel like doing it, so he sicced Melanoma on the diplomats. Who all treated her like a normal human.

Frank Nuts's avatar

Thanks Nancy! I get it. Probably Trump knew he would be booed and rightfully so. So he got to be the big cheese standing in front of the United Nations and not get booed because melanoma was speaking. He probably then thumbed his nose at them as he was leaving. He’s areal class act.

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Did she get paid?

BigDaddy52's avatar

Ain't that the truth! She's been trotted out for all kinds of blather recently. W.T.F!

BigDaddy52's avatar

Regarding the lightning strike, I believe we have a real shortage of 'Almighty Smiting', these days.

Paula Dean's avatar

Satan's in charge these days.

Frank Nuts's avatar

That’s right BigDaddy. I mean WTF — is God stuck in a horrible sand trap at Doral on the 13th green? Get busy big fella

T L Mills's avatar

How can she act? Her face seldom moves from the constant scowl she wears and she doesn't speak English any more convincingly than she ever could.

Chris Peterson's avatar

My guess is that she was able to stumble her way through the speech with a straight face because she had absolutely no idea what she was saying.

Joyce's avatar

Plus her face doesn't actually move anymore.

Megan Ross's avatar

I'd concede that skank ho should be one of her a accomplishments.

Mingo's avatar

The Slovenian slut who slept her way to a green card.

Paula Dean's avatar

She's one of Epstein's girls.

T L Mills's avatar

Yeah...a close friend of Ghislane, too. Why hasn't Comer subpoena'd Melania??? She actually KNEW Jeffrey Epstein.

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Or rather: strip model

Frank Nuts's avatar

Well said Paul. You should be a movie reviewer. That was a really good three thumbs down 👎

Lucy Conner's avatar

Please, as a well trained and working actor, do not confuse "poker face" with actual acting. She's shown no signs of acting with the stone face. Costuming, yes. Acting, ewww, no!

Charles Austin's avatar

Just when I thought that he couldn't get more demented....And then this AI generated dribble comes out of the mouth of his trophy concubine! Yeah, the Monty Python meme is totally appropriate.😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

PunkAtHeart's avatar

“Trophy concubine”. 🤣🤣

bruce somers's avatar

The image of that rancid anus-mouth descendending on anyone will haunt me to the depths of hell. Katie Britt is the creep who actually creeps out the other creeps.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Katie Britt and Tommy Tuberville are proof that Reconstruction was a mistake and Alabama STILL isn't ready for self-government.

Babe Paley's avatar

Regarding the thing about faking a book report—when I was in fourth grade we had to present book reports each month. I read lots of books but got tired of doing reports on them because they were usually a little more adult and I felt too much pressure writing about them well.

So I started just inventing books and authors and talking about them, and if the teacher knew he never let on and I kept getting As.

Kip McSherry's avatar

I used the World Book Encyclopedia to fill in my reports because I was bored AND lazy.

Vicki Bruning's avatar

smarty pants 👌😂😂😂

Frank Nuts's avatar

I’ll bet you were

Frank Nuts's avatar

Whoops. Hit the send button accidentally … again. Let me try this again:

Babe, I’ll bet you were a real looker and he was a dirty old man; or, you’re just a really good entertaining writer and because of that he let it slide. Maybe all of the above

Cherié Brodnax's avatar

Jeff did you see the clip where Donnie goes on and in about Kellyanne Conway and the wonderful job she’s doing…but he was looking at KKKarolyn Lyin Leavitt? His brain is constantly short circuiting and he is “leading” this war.

David M Marko's avatar

Biden got vilified for not recognizing George Clooney, but crickets for Pumpkinhead with his multiple name screwups.

Frank Nuts's avatar

Whoa Cherie — “leading” is a real strong word there. I think the only “leading” thing about him is that mushroom he sports

Marian Vitale's avatar

The SNL sketches are just writing themselves at this point.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Collin Jost's performance is distressingly close to the real thing.

Jane's avatar

Jost is so right on the mark when he mimics Kegstand!

Elizabeth M. (Massachusetts)'s avatar

How do you parody someone whose only “skill” is already self-parody?

Frank Nuts's avatar

So true Elizabeth! He’s a real live “Escher Painting” isn’t he? … hm

I smell a really good Twilight Zone episode in there somewhere

Frank Nuts's avatar

No shit Marian. Wasn’t this last SNL just the best? Trump should sue them for royalties he gives them SOOOOOO much to work with.

Jennifer Eory's avatar

What would we do without you, Jeff!?

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Glad you’re up and at ‘em this morning. Buckle up. It’s Friday the 13th (which my father thought of as his lucky day). Shit most weird will most definitely happen.

Paula Dean's avatar

It's a lucky day for me too!