self-styled “black Nazi” Mark Robinson seems nice

ignorant and hateful and proud of it

there are two things you need to know about Mark Robinson, the GOP candidate for Governor of North Carolina.

first, he fucking sucks. and second, MAGA Republicans love the shit out of him.

here’s why Mark fucking sucks: if you trained some evil AI exclusively on the rancid fever-swamp speeches from Donny Convict’s hate-rallies, and then asked it to create the MAGA candidate from hell, Mark Robinson is exactly what the it would spit out.

he’s ignorant and hateful and proud of it. here are just a few of the lovely views Marky Rob has espoused:

— that transgender women should be arrested for using women’s bathrooms. if they need to relieve themselves, they should “find a corner outside somewhere,” to use his exact words.
— that political assassinations are necessary. again, to use his own words, “some folks need killing.”
— that stories about the Holocaust — once again, to use his own words — are hogwash.
— that Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby got railroaded by the woke mob.
— that Michelle Obama is a man.
— that women should not have the right to vote.

basically there is not one issue where Mark hasn’t planted his flag on the most extreme MAGAfied side of it.

now, here’s why MAGA loves Mark Robinson: he’s one of the few Black Republicans who isn’t of the three-armed, six-fingered imaginary kind.

actual Black MAGAs are as scarce as hen’s teeth, so naturally when Mark announced his bid to be NC’s governor, Donny Convict immediately ran to his side and proclaimed he was “Martin Luther King on steroids.”

hey, speaking of MLK, here’s a fun fact: during the dedication of the King memorial in Washington, DC, Robinson lovingly wrote “get that fucking commie bastard off the National Mall!”

all of which makes it super satisfying to watch his candidacy implode.

last week we found out that back in the day, Mark had a thing for hanging out in porn shops.

According to Louis Money, who worked in several of Greensboro’s windowless, 24-hour video-pornography stores, Robinson was a frequent customer in the 1990s and early 2000s. Money, 52, told The Assembly that Robinson came in as often as five nights a week to watch porn videos in a private booth.

Five other men who said they were former employees or customers during this period also told The Assembly that Robinson visited two of these stores: Gents Video & News and I-40 Video & News. 

look, what gets people off is none of our business, as long at it involves consenting adults — but imagine being such a rabid porn-hound that six dudes remember thirty years later about your five-night-a-week private video booth habit.

anyway, the Mark Robinson is fucking awful story just got a whole lot worse.

Mark Robinson, the controversial and socially conservative Republican nominee for governor of North Carolina, made a series of inflammatory comments on a pornography website’s message board more than a decade ago, in which he referred to himself as a “black NAZI!” and expressed support for reinstating slavery, a CNN KFile investigation found.

Despite a recent history of anti-transgender rhetoric, Robinson said he enjoyed watching transgender pornography, a review of archived messages found in which he also referred to himself as a “perv.”

one has to wonder if Mark has ever cracked open a history book, because he seems blissfully unaware that the Nazis were racist as fuck, and hated Black people just about as much as they hated Jews.

Mark also seems equally confused as to which race was on the wrong end of that whole let’s enslave the shit out of people thing that was so popular in the pre-Civil War South.

“Slavery is not bad. Some people need to be slaves. I wish they would bring it (slavery) back. I would certainly buy a few,” he wrote.

who wants to tell him?

here’s another gem from Mark’s written record:

“I like watching tranny on girl porn! That’s f*cking hot! It takes the man out while leaving the man in!” Robinson wrote. “And yeah I’m a ‘perv’ too!”

again, what consenting adults do behind closed doors is no one else’s business — but waxing rhapsodic on the one hand about how much you love “tranny porn,” and calling for trans people to be arrested on the other, might strike some people as just a wee bit hypocritical, n’est pas?

Mark def has a thing for his wife’s sister.

and oh look, Mark’s a pee freak.

so, is there any porn Mark doesn’t like? well —

In a largely positive forum discussion featuring a photo of two men kissing after one returned from a military deployment, Robinson wrote the sole negative comment.

“That’s sum ole sick ass faggot bullshit!” he wrote.

when the news dropped, Marky Rob immediately went into who ya gonna believe, me or your lying eyes mode, denying everything and weirdly comparing himself to Clarence Thomas.

“folks, we’ve seen this type of stuff in the past. Clarence Thomas famously once said he was the victim of a high-tech lynching. well, it looks like Mark Robinson is, too.”

bold move, comparing yourself to another well-known sleazeball who likes him some porn.

after the news dropped, Republicans swiftly divided themselves into a number of camps.

there was the Mark who? contingent.

Jessica Tarlov: “we just found out an hour ago that the Lt. Governor there, Mark Robinson—”
Jesse Watters: “never heard of him.”

sure, Jesse. you never heard of him, except for all the times he was on your show.

there was the help, help, I’ve suddenly gone deaf crowd.

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I HAVE MY FINGERS IN MY EARS I CAN’T HEAR YOU.

there were the FAKE NEWS! screamers.

and of course there was the who cares it it’s true, I’m voting for him anyway crowd.

sorry, Venezuelan gangs, we’re a little busy now, what with all the Haitian migrants eating all the pets in our one-party socialist state. can you come back and finish your invasion in a couple of weeks? thanks for understanding.

finally, believe it or not, there was a very small group of Republicans calling for Mark to drop out.

but that’ s big ball of never gonna happen. Mark ain’t dropping out.

A spokesperson for Robinson said Thursday he had no plans to drop out. In a video released on X prior to CNN’s report, Robinson described the forthcoming story as containing “salacious tabloid lies” and said, “we are staying in this race.”

at any rate, the deadline for Mark to have quit the race has come and gone.

Update: The Thursday 11:59 p.m. deadline for Mark Robinson to resign his candidacy has passed. A spokesperson for the State Board of Elections said the board is unaware of any attempt by Robinson to do so.

even before this latest news dropped, Mark was down 5 to 15 points in every poll. now, election analysts have moved North Carolina from ‘lean Democratic’ to ‘likely Democratic.’

and there’s a very good chance that Mark will take Donny Convict down with him, handing North Carolina to Kamala. she currently holds a 1-point lead there.

a win for Kamala in North Carolina would be a fucking disaster for the GOP.

sorry, Republicans, it looks like you’re going to be forced to carry Mark Robinson to term — even if doing so endangers the life of your party.