say hello to inmate P01135809
it's about fucking time
ok, so it finally happened.
the quadrice-indicted twice-impeached popular-vote-losing insurrection-leading judge-threatening lawyer-ignoring witness-tampering game-show-hosting serial-sexual-predating draft-dodging casino-bankrupting daughter-perving hush-money-paying real-estate-scamming bone-spur-faking ketchup-hurling justice-obstructing classified-war-plan-thieving weather-map-defacing horse-paste-promoting paper-towel-flinging tax-cheating evidence-destroying charity-defrauding money-laundering fluorescent tangerine jackass surrendered himself to the authorities down in Atlanta and learned what the inside of the Fulton County Jail looks like.
he was processed and fingerprinted, and was apparently allowed to lie about his height and weight. I mean, oh please, if you honestly believe that Little Donny Fuckface weighs only 215 pounds, I have six bankrupt casinos in Atlantic City to sell you.
he was given an inmate number: P01135809.
and he had to sit for the mug shot we’d all been waiting for, during which he glowered and sulked like a misbehaving toddler who’d been given a 20-minute timeout.
which in a sense he was, because Trump was in and out of that jailhouse in 20 minutes flat.
let’s pull back and take a wider look at the whole fucking circus that happened around him.
first of all, who the fuck gets a motorcade like this?
what in actual fuck? who approved this ginormous waste of municipal resources?
it’s a 34 mile drive from Trump’s tacky vermin-infested Bedminster golf-motel-and-ex-wife-cemetery to Newark Airport.
there’s no need for more than three cars to ferry this criminal from point A to point B.
why are we still giving a four-indictment dipshit this kind of deference?
every tiresome grandstanding Republican stood up to profess how shocked — shocked! — they were that their tribal warlord should be treated like a criminal.
what’s next? oh, I don’t know, Andy, how about a trial and a conviction? seems pretty straightforward to me.
and of course every “it’s time for civil war” dipshit came crawling out of the woodwork. here’s increasingly-irrelevant footnote to history Sarah Palin desperately trying to achieve that all-important 16th minute of fame.
is Newsmax that desperate for on-air quote-unquote talent?
yes please, let’s have a civil war. I want to laugh as the 17th Brigade rolls up from Alabama on their mobility scooters.
ok, this is pretty great: professional buffoon Laura Loomer organized what she expected would be a massive rally Thursday morning, outside the jailhouse where Trump was going to be processed. she promoted the hell out of it on social media and Donald even reposted it on his crappy app.
less than 20 people showed up.
why? because someone started a rumor that the rally was an FBI setup, and everybody stayed the fuck away.
hey, let’s check in on Fox News and see how they’re covering Trump’s fourth booking.
uh, you guys ok over there, Fox News?
let’s also check in on America’s number one coke-hound, Individual-1 Junior.
tell me, do you think Don Jr. will bother to visit his father in prison? I’m guessing no.
what the fuck happened to Jonathan Turley? he went to a respected school, he had a respectable career, and then somewhere along the line he decided to chuck it all in favor of being a Fox News shill.
here he is, totally misrepresenting Trump’s phone call where he pressured Brad Raffensperger to find him 11,780 votes.
“the way that she portrayed that phone call to Raffensperger is evidence of the bias and unfairness of this indictment. it makes perfect sense if you’re challenging an election to say, ‘you know, I only need around eleven thousand votes.’ so if you do a statewide review it’s not a lot in a state like Georgia. that’s not criminal. that’s making a case for a recount.”
Jon, no. NO. that’s not what happened, and you fucking well know it.
let’s briefly return to the subject of Trump’s alleged height and weight. here are two photographs. on the left is Australian actor Chris Hemsworth. Chris is 6 foot 3 inches tall and weighs 215 pounds.
on the right is some beached whale.
yes, it was a satisfying day all around, but let’s all remember that there are still two tiers of justice in America.
we finally got that mug shot, but Trump still got kid-gloves treatment.
he got to choose his own time and date to surrender. he was in and out of there in about the same time it takes to grab a coffee at a crowded Starbucks.
today, Trump is back on the campaign trail, whining about how unfairly he’s being treated.
meanwhile, every day, thousands of Americans without money or resources or the right color skin are abused or worse by an uncaring — and increasingly dysfunctional — judicial bureaucracy.
I'm so glad you ended this by reminding people who the genuine victims of America's system of justice are: the poor, people of color, immigrants. Thank you.
Thank you for that photo of Chris Hemsworth next to the beached whale with the ‘strawberry blonde’ hair. Haha. The only thing missing from his inmate number is the letter ‘S’. It should be POS1135809. Henceforth, I will refer to him as inmate Piece of Shit........