Ron DeSantis is a twenty-megaton shitshow. why the fuck were we so afraid of this guy?

every morning, Ron gets up, puts on his clown shoes and makes an utter fool of himself

hey, remember when we were all terrified by the idea of a Ron DeSantis candidacy?

he’s super competent, we were told. he’s going to be a lot worse than Trump, they said, because he’s smarter and he won’t be a lazy fuck-up. he’s going to be our worst fascist nightmare.

it was a pretty compelling story and we all bought it.

but now that we’ve gotten to see DeSantis on the campaign trail, holy shit — what the fuck were we so afraid of?

the guy’s a joke. he’s stiff. he’s awkward. he can’t make a human connection. he does bizarre, inexplicable shit. he makes every unforced error in the book.

even Republican strategists will that you that Ron DeSantis is the worst candidate they’ve ever seen.

what the fuck is this?

how bad is Ron doing? he’s now polling below Vivek Ramaswamy. come on, when you’re less popular than a political tourist who no one has ever heard of, what the fuck are you even doing?

donors are running away from this guy even faster than the voters are.

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every morning, Ron gets up, puts on his clown shoes and makes an utter fucking fool of himself.

here’s Ron last April in Japan, with the head-bob heard ’round the world:

what the fuck just happened? why does Ron start moving his mouth before he starts talking? (no, this video has not been altered.)

here’s Ron in New Hampshire, absolutely failing at the kind of small talk that should be bread and butter for every politician:

“what’s your name?”
“Tim.”
“okay.”

brilliant stuff, Ron. keep it up. no notes.

the guy can’t even hold a beer like a normal human being. here’s Ron, doing his patented “I’m a space alien in an ill-fitting skin suit” stance, telling the very people he’s trying to woo that he’d rather be in bed than be talking to them.

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last week’s appearance at the Iowa State Fair was supposed to be DeSantis’ big campaign reset. he was going to reboot his message and turn it all around.

it was a fucking disaster.

protesters shouted “Ron DeFascist” and “Puddingfingers” at him. he was heckled by Trumpers.

he brayed like a hyena everywhere he went.

even Kari Lake had to tell Puddingfingers to stop to wiping his snots on other people’s hats. bro, when Kari Lake is more savvy about campaigning than you, it’s time to pack it the fuck in.

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make no mistake, Ron DeSantis is a shithead and a complete fucking fascist. he’s an authoritarian bully who gets off on torture. he’s turned Florida into a hellhole. a DeSantis presidency would be a nightmare for the country.

but this is America, and — for now, at least — to become president you have to win election.

and to win an election, you have to first be on the ballot.

and no way is Ron DeSantis going to be on the ballot next November.