racists, liars, cowards and dumbfucks: your Republican roundup

scenes from the Sunday shows

fairy tales. all of us, as children, were fed a lot of them. you know the kind: princesses in castles, dragons, big bad wolves, yadda yadda.

but I remember one particular fairy tale that got drummed into our heads over and over, and it went like this: ‘America’s system of government is the greatest ever invented.’

it’s such an adorable story, isn’t it? but answer me this: if that were actually true, then how were the stupidest fucking morons in the universe able to break it so easily?

seriously. it only took one vote — one vote! — for the Senate to confirm Preznit Fuckwit’s ethically-bankrupt personal ambulance chaser, Todd Blanche, to be Attorney General.

and that deciding vote was Bill Cassidy’s.

“this is not a black and white decision. that is wrong, and no American should be targeted by the law, but no American should be above the law — and that, frankly, almost weighed to vote ‘no.’”

can you believe that? after casting the deciding vote to confirm a guy he absolutely knew to be a ginormous piece of shit, Bill Cassidy wants credit for thinking really hard about it and almost voting no.

Cassidy seems to imagine he deserves some sort of award for almost having a conscience. he wants a cookie.

fuck off. you don’t get a cookie.

you know who else doesn’t get a cookie? White House Energy Vampire Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett.

Donny has been president for nineteen months now, and this smirking shitweasel’s eternal answer to ‘why are bad?’ remains ‘because Joe Biden.’

Shannon Bream: “76% of voters say the economy is fair or poor. when can Americans expect relief?”

Kevin Hassett: “the prices went up so much under Joe Biden that we understand why people are still frustrated.”

for fuck’s sake, these people are all grown adults. it’s time for them to take some responsibility for their own actions. prices are up because of Dear Leader’s unwinnable clusterfuck in Iran.

every time I see this giggling idiot show up on my TV, I’m confounded. why this guy? who is he? no one’s ever heard of him.

while writing a post about Hassett a couple of months ago, I literally asked Google’s janky six-fingered plagiarism robot, ‘what the fuck is Kevin Hassett’s deal?’

let me remind you what it told me.

Kevin Hassett is a prominent conservative economist and top Trump administration economic advisor currently serving as the Director of the National Economic Council (as of early 2026). He is a key advocate for tax cuts, deregulation, and aggressive interest rate cuts, often seen as a key architect of pro-growth policies and a, though not ultimately selected, top contender for Fed Chair.

oh, so Hassett’s some rando from a think tank. his ‘job’ — if you can even call it a job — is to push the same unworkable ‘tax cuts good, regulations bad’ fever-swamp nonsense that Republicans have been inflicting on us since Reagan was president. it didn’t work then, and it hasn’t worked since. spoiler alert: it’s never going to work — but it’s no wonder Donny loves the shit out of this guy. he tells him exactly what he wants to hear.

while that was going on, GOP found object Tim Scott was on CNN, doing a racism. Republicans, you see, have a new scare tactic.

when they talk about Abdul El-Sayed, the Michigan Democrat running for Senator, they now use his full name, Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed — because as we all know, if there’s one thing on God’s green earth that’s more terrifying than an Abdul, it’s an Abdulrahman.

Manu Raju: “you’re using his full name in these attack ads, Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed. he goes by Abdul El-Sayed. are you trying to say, hinting to voters, he’s Muslim?”

Tim Scott: “not at all.”

Raju; “but why not just use the name he goes by?”

Scott: “listen, I go by Timothy Eugene. I get called that all the time.”

oh really, Tim? all the time? are all these people who call you Timothy Eugene Scott in the room with us right now?

I guess what Timothy Eugene is really saying here is that we should be calling Nikki Haley by her full name, Nimarata Nikki Randhawa, and we should be calling Bobby Jindal by his full name, Piyush Amrit Jindal. hell, while we’re at it, we can even call the Esteemed Senator Fidel Cancun by his birth name, Rafael Edward Cruz.

see how that works?

oh, look who else has joined the bigoted pile-on: America’s Self-Appointed Bathroom Panty Inspector, Nancy Mace. apparently, she’s now also appointed herself America’s Ace Muslim Detector.

“this this is who [Abdul El-Sayed] is hanging out with, this kind of person who’s promoting, you know, communist ideology. this is not something— America’s not built on those values, and in the future, when our granddaughters are wearing burqas to school, we’re going to look back and say ‘how did this happen?’”

oh, do please fuck all the way off, Nancy.

Tim Scott, Nancy Mace and their ilk are the same shitnozzles who screamed at us for eight entire years about how Barack HUSSEIN Obama was going to impose Sharia Law. spoiler alert: it never happened — but that hasn’t stopped these whiny assholes from trotting out the same old scare tactics. burqas! burqas! our grandchildren will be wearing burqas!

and those burqas will just make Nancy Mace’s job of bathroom panty inspecting that much harder.

Dear Leader’s fat, waterlogged face wasn’t on TV this weekend. he was too busy cheating at golf at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery. and oh look, it’s not just his hands that are rotting away. he showed up on the course with ugly bruises all over his arm.

Jesus H. Fuck, look at that.

how many simultaneous needles is this guy having stuck into his body? he’s literally rotting away before our very eyes. will we ever get the truth about Donny’s health? don’t hold your breath.

anyway, just because Agolf Shitler was busy driving his cart up onto the green, that doesn’t mean that he and his diaper nurse weren’t also posting racist garbage to his crappy app.

get get? get it? it’s white people vs those people.

this one checks all the bigoted boxes. it’s got Abdul’s full name. his wife has her head covered — the horror. but the icing on Donny’s cake is that it’s illiterate as fuck. the apostrophe in “America’s” is just wrong.

fat, racist and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

you know what? let’s let Abdul El-Sayed speak for himself, because he’s so fucking good at this.

Jake Tapper: “Trump posted ‘two very different Americas’ — what was your response when you saw that?”

Abdul El-Sayad: “yeah, he’s right. one in which your overlords are two people who don’t like each other, but joined in the interest of making billions of dollars off of you, or two people who genuinely love each other, enjoying some pancakes together, who want to come together to build the kind of America where they can raise a family, and know that that family’s going to have good things.”

you know what I love most about this guy? he sounds like one of us.

he says the same kind of things we do, the same way that we do — correctly pointing out that Dear Leader and his Slovenian rent-a-wife hate each other, and have no real shared interest beyond grifting the rubes.

holy shit, I may need to add a Daily Abdul to this thing, if he keeps talking like this.

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now let’s have us our Daily Claudia.

here are two shots of Ms Spouse I found while scrolling through her Facebook page. this one’s from the 1980s, at her bff Mandi’s apartment.

this next one’s from the 2000s. I don’t recognize the location, and Ms Spouse was terrible at captioning the stuff she put up on Facebook. c’est la vie.

have a great Monday, everyone.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.