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Susan Niemann's avatar

"please don’t scream at the next Democratic president when they don’t have everything fixed after three months. it’s going to take years." Thats the gospel truth right there. Glad you said that. Every day it gets worse. If all the congressional republicans would just retire early, (thanks Marge!) maybe we could get a jump start on fixing some of this .... but not before the regime makes every one of us suffer.

AND we get the NUTSMACKER GIF! YAY!!! 👏👏👏

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Charles Austin's avatar

What a contrast! Kelly does his Tony Hawk imitation and Whiskey Dick Pete racks his own nuts!!😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

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Susie's avatar

Well said!!! 👏🏻🤣👏🏻🤣👏🏻

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL! 👏👏👏👏

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Paula Dean's avatar

Yes Susan! I reposted that because I fear the same dissatisfaction that confronted Joe Biden when he couldn't fix everything tRump had broken during his first horrific term. America had the best recovery from covid in the world! But it was taking too long for too many Americans. Those who expect a quick fix will always be disappointed.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Right. Shit takes time and Americans are impatient 🙄

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Charles Austin's avatar

Very. We've had instant gratification programmed into us.🙄

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ignorant and impatient Susan!

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

First they want it and now, then they hate it and it must go away now, yes that’s US behavior. Dopey don is the guy that does shit without legislation so we don’t even know ‘what wrong with him’ before he does it, which ever it it may be. He has the list of destruction and an outline of a concept of obscurity to replace IT. Everything.

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Angie Longenecker's avatar

Also entitled

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Government generally moves at a sclerotic pace, Biden managed the recovery masterfully, avoiding a certain recession Paula!

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Heather BSN's avatar

It takes a lot longer to fix things than it does to break them. But so many people cannot comprehend that

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rlritt's avatar

Biden should have said he wasn't running for a 2nd term. Then they could have had a primary and a better candidate. Harris was good but not good enough to beat Trump. Hispanic men switched to Trump in record numbers when they usually vote Democrat. The Democrats need to pick a popular governor in '28 who has name recognition like Pritzker, Newsom or Shapiro. Or maybe Bashear.

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David Skoglund's avatar

If Kamala had a full campaign season she would have won. Don’t sell her short.

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Abigail Norling's avatar

Honestly I suspect that history will show that she did win, and the magats just cheated enormously.

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Stranger Than Friction's avatar

And my impression over the past decade or so is that Latin folks vote various ways, in part due to encompassing many different groups, different genders and ages, and so on-but a large number of them, especially the males, voted R in the last several elections.

I agree that Kamala had 107 days. This has not only titled her book about it (which I plan to read this winter), but she came very close to winning. Many believe that the stats about the swing states 2024 vote counts do not math! This story will be suppressed until That Man leaves the WH, one way or another.

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arne link's avatar

Actually, she did win. There was massive interference in ballot counting .

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Geoff Boyarsky's avatar

Those are good suggestions, but personally, I am really liking Senator Mark Kelly. If ever there was an antidote to the disease currently occupying the White House, it’s a senator who is a former fighter pilot and astronaut, mic drop.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

I'm a thorough Petenik, but could support Pritzker, Shapiro, or Bashear. Wes Moore is not bad either but shows no interest.

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arne link's avatar

It was never a fair and honest election. In the immortal words of Jeff, there was fuckery.

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skangirl's avatar

We'll all have shuffled off this mortal coil before the US will be trusted with any secrets, treaties or cooperative military actions. ("Yeah, thanks for the offer, but we'll be keeping our nuclear weapons.")

The only thing you can count on from us is that our govt. will swing from sane to lunacy. The lunacy used to go only so far--maybe a W to start regional wars that kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people or a Reagan to cut off contraception to famine-ridden, over-populated countries--but under ill douché, we've moved the goalpost beyond sane people's comprehension. (Dear World, Please never trust us again.)

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

The Nutsmacker Ballet, with visions of busted plums all in our heads.

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Stranger Than Friction's avatar

What a gift of comparison that was. Thank you Jeff! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (BTW, I've heard that being a Captain in the Navy is the equivalent of Colonel in the other branches; another thing that Petey never achieved while "serving.")

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Thanks for the laugh Leigh!

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Cheri Collins's avatar

🤣

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Cheri Collins's avatar

Yes, I have worried in advance about this!

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Dayna Keiser's avatar

Ditto

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Robert Eckert's avatar

Tritto

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P123Sunny's avatar

Rs complaining abt not feeling relevant - after pushing through his BBB… REALLY not following… They could have worked on it more. They seem weirdly detached from the consequences of any actions 🫠🏛️

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

It’s weird but it’s true.

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Christina Kasica's avatar

Rat #1 has deserted the ship. If the trope holds, a lot more will follow.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Susan, are you working on the petitions in Missouri?

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I’m out of the country for the time. Petitions?

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Thanks.

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

“JB Pritzker is a big fat slob”

That’s like the cat calling the dog’s ass hairy.

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Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Pritzker may be a large man but he is not a slob. Unlike Trump, he wears nicely tailored suits with pants that don't bag on the ground, shoulders to his elbows and ties that hang to his knees.

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Gloria J. Maloney's avatar

And Pritzker knows how to govern and cares about the citizens of Illinois.

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Crystal Hartley's avatar

Shall we compare hairstyles? Normal vs. "What the fuck is that on your head?"

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Nicely played Crystal!

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Mingo's avatar
4hEdited

Don't forget the waist to Piggy's pants start below the armpits.

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T L Mills's avatar

Well that's to hide the Depends and all the pumps and bags that he has to wear to keep his body functioning (sort of).

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Cathy Carrozza's avatar

🤣🤣

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Michael Johnson's avatar

"President Pritzker" has a nice alliteration to it, doesn't it?

It would be so much better than Gavin, but do appreciate all Gavin is currently doing to troll the tangelo colored taint tumor.

Pritzker exudes decency, intelligence and compassion. And mostly, authenticity. And yes, he's a snappy dresser!

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Punkette's avatar
3hEdited

And Pritzker has a great sense of humor. He recently visited Pope Leo in Rome and presented him with a specially-brewed “Da Pope” craft beer! 😆 Photo here:

Da Pope Beer Summit: Pritzker Gifts Leo XIV Brew as They Blast ICE Raids

https://www.thelettersfromleo.com/p/da-pope-beer-summit-pritzker-gifts?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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rlritt's avatar

I like Pritzker. I also like Newsom.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

I do not like Newsom. He lost me when he palled around with Charlie Kirk and threw trans people under the bus, and after the shooting he said he wanted Kirk's legacy to continue: he would not go after right-wing terrorist but try to placate them.

I could easily vote for Pritzker, however I think he actually wants to stay in his present job.

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arne link's avatar

I think it's going to be Gavin because he is glossy and camera-ready. Americans love that.

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Maria Devereux's avatar

He thinks wearing big clothes makes him a big man.

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I believe Trump wears a girdle and a suit that's padded to make it look like he's standing up straight and not slumped over like a 90 year old man, because he sure looks a lot different when he's in his golfing attire.

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Stephen Schiff's avatar

Here's an idea: Use the photo of fat Donny as the basis for his Official WH portrait, to be hung over a urinal in the WH men's room.

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David Skoglund's avatar

It says way more about Scump than Pritzker. The orange pig hasn’t a shred of self awareness!

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

This is coming from a guy who eats constant Taco Bell, Mcdonalds, and Checkers burgers, Shits his diaper regularly, and looks like an absolute train wreck.

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

And who always wears a Foley catheter strapped around his knee to collect the urine from his incontinent bladder

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Can you imagine the smell?

One day , on thistleandmoss.com, Im just going to publish a giant mess of why its obvious they have to smell him every time he comes in the room.

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Tess's avatar

😳😷🤣

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Charles Austin's avatar

🤮🤮😂

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SethTriggs's avatar

When you're protected by Murc's Law, that allows for enormous amounts of audacity.

I bet Pritzker could actually walk the green when/if he plays golf.

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

Pritzker takes daily walks around the lake front. Unlike the fat slob who cheats at golf.

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Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

I saw a photo of him at the Promontory Point, across from my sister's house. I've spent countless hours there. I love the lake!

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

That’s a photo of the beautiful lake next to my name. The Great Lakes - no salt, no sharks, no red tide.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

No surf!

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

Me too!

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Touché Songgirl!

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Pam Humphrey's avatar

Freaked out the dog again.

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

“how dare this corrupt fuck even joke about granting pardons. he’s made a mockery of the whole process. he’s pardoned war criminals. he’s pardoned cop beaters. pedophiles. political cronies. business partners.”

Don’t forget insurrectionists!

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

gaaaaah! good catch, I will add that.

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Wendymae's avatar

I just assumed that the insurrectionists would already be covered by those crimes you did name. In a venn diagram, I doubt there would be any blank space for just insurrectionists.

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Carol C's avatar

Pardon me for changing the subject to another huge national embarrassment, Trump’s pardoning Putin’s assault on Ukraine.

Last week’s 28-point “peace plan,” sets up “the United States as a gangster entity,” getting paid for providing undefined ‘protection’ for Ukraine. Timothy Snyder says, “I assume Russians will have understood how humiliating this looks for the Americans.”

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rlritt's avatar

Putin has either threatened Trump (has some really bad dirt on him, worse than Epstein.) Or has threatened to kill him or his family. Or promised him a billion dollar deal. There is some reason Trump is so subservient to Putin.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

We do know that Russia took care of Trump’s debt when he was flat broke…

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arne link's avatar

True but Trump is not a person to be grateful. I think Putin has something much darker on Trump. It might be Vlad riding him like a bronco, who knows?

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Chet Brandt's avatar

Russian money was laundered thru LDFF’s failed casinos. Can I prove it ? No. But, the grifter-in- chief certainly has a litany of nefarious characters in his miserable life and how does one bankrupt a casino??

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Trumps birth into the mob and money laundering, transnational criminal syndicate biz is well documented rlritt, his first marriage with an east bloc bride was clearly a set up, knowing travel was highly restricted in the days. Staying in the Lenin Suite in Red Squares finest hotel, next door to Kremlin intelligence headquarters provides little kompromat. The Epstein-Melania relationship perhaps yields something much darker. But you have a point!

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Ann Anderson's avatar

Senator Mark Kelly was on Kimmel and projected straight-up mensch because that's who he is. Kegstand ... I can't even.

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Mark Slattery's avatar

Trump (convicted felon, adjudicated rapist and pedophile) is the honorary head of the Boy Scouts. The Scouts should be the one distancing themselves from the White House. And Kegstand's hysteria about a "lack of masculinity" didnt stop him from using taxpayer funds to install a makeup studio in his office.

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Joyce's avatar

Kegger's constant yapping about masculinity absolutely reeks of some very frantic repression of certain inclinations he has.........

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Kathy H's avatar

No doubt. There's no other interpretation for the overcompensation, "protesting too much", except some DEEP insecurity, a need to prove something. What a thing to prove, toxic "masculinity". It's probably just a role he's playing, but he won't be able to rebrand himself. He's not that cute or talented. He's going to die having chosen being a POS, not a man in any way.

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Paula Dean's avatar

YES!!

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Leu2500's avatar

Pepperidge Farm remembers when Trump gave a speech to the Boy Scouts that was so inappropriate that the Scouts apologized. (& then he one upped it with his Arnold Palmer story.)

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/trump-boy-scout-jamboree-speech.html

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Lisa's avatar

Gawd, I remember wincing and gagging over that ridiculous and inappropriate blather. Always wondered if the parents of those kids still voted for him a second time after hearing that.

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SethTriggs's avatar

Hahahahahahah I knew Mark Kelly could do a skateboard better than Hic!Seth. That's probably part of why he's going so hard on Kelly.

As for the gibbering pricktator, he's simply protected by Murc's Law and we just have to sit and take it. Responsibility for public and private behavior, and knowing how ANYTHING works...that's for Democrats.

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Crystal Hartley's avatar

I'll bet Kelly can do a pull-up without his legs flailing wildly to find purchase in thin air.

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rlritt's avatar

Give Pete a break. Its hard to skateboard when you're drunk. Believe me, I tried.

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arne link's avatar

Ouch.

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Punkette's avatar

Gibbering pricktator! Lol, Seth! 😆

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jcali129's avatar

No way he pardoned a turkey. Turkeys aren't capable of paying a bribe.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

I heard a wonderful suggestion elsewhere on the stacks that a live cassowary should have been stuffed into It's office, on the grounds that he may be able to tell the difference between a camel and a zebra, but he cannot tell the difference between a turkey and a cassowary. Cassowaries are tough customers. They have razor-sharp talons and their hearts are filled with hate.

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rlritt's avatar

Death by a 1,000 pecks.

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Elizabeth Ratkovich's avatar

Have you seen the video of DJT in his office with an eagle? He doesn’t have a very good track record with large feathered predators. The first photo reminded me of that episode.

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arne link's avatar

Same here. That was hilarious when the eagle landed and donnie filled his diaper in one go.

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arne link's avatar

Can one rent a cassowary? Asking for a friend.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

INSURECTION! Thousands of turkeys peck their way into capital thinking dopey prez was their true leader turkey. On video pecking cops into a heart attack, pecking windows to pieces and making a pig pen out of Pelosi’s office. Trials said guilty “Off with their heads” said the judge presiding. Then prez fuckwit pardons all then they come back wearing rubber masks as pretend cops to make America safe for the cows that were carried accross the Rio Grand. It’s hard to believe what’s happened to our country.

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Alright Uncle Jeff, Lets dive into the unraveling of a mind in "Trump Fuck Is Going To Die: Here Comes The Science" by Wendy The Druid. Explore the chaos of cognitive collapse.

He's just mentally melting down into a pile of goo.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/trump-fuck-is-going-to-die-here-comes-the-science

I also posted the turkey Video jeff, JUST FOR YOU. :)

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Tess's avatar

Excellent explanation of what is happening in the dementia patient who lives in the WH!

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Robin D's avatar

Thanks so much Wendy. Great article and appreciate the Kimmel video. I don't watch but I am so glad Sen Mark Kelly was on and it will.reach a.large audience. And thanks for the turkey video (now I feel bad about dinner tomorrow) but I wish Gobble would have lunged for his throat! I hope Donnie Double Chins chokes tomorrow. That would really be something to be thankful for. 🙏

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JerryBier's avatar

Way to go, Wendy! I'm one of your supporters, and I love it.

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

As I live and breathe, JerryB. Thank you.

Jeff is a better writer than me though.

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JerryBier's avatar

He does have a way with onomonopecia and inventing accurate adjectives with a flair for exposing how ridiculous this all is. But, I'm sure you can hold your own in any war of words... :-)

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E Braymen's avatar

Spot on. My gentle, kind, sweet mom, who died of dementia, did all these things. Fortunately nowhere near as badly. I think the difference is that at her core she was such a good person.

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Flo Plazo's avatar

"Temporal disintegration" thank you, Wendy

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Robert Eckert's avatar

Problem is, dementia does not kill quickly. My dad was deeply demented for seven years before he died. Fred Trump lasted a similar time.

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KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

This is an excellent quick read. Everyone: share it far and wide!!

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R MICHAEL LISKAY's avatar

Love the Kelley and Hegseth gif side by side!

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michellefromchicago's avatar

Somehow, those side-by-side GIFs need to be shown all over America

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Joyce's avatar

Can this not be turned into a commercial by the DNC and run on youtube, tiktok, prime time--everywhere??? Projected onto the Pentagon?

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Irascible Ink's avatar

YES PLEASE!!

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247kath's avatar

I had a great laugh seeing them side by side😂Please uncle Jeff show them both every day!!

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Chicky Mama's avatar

When this regime leaves the White House, it’s gonna need hugely fumigation!!

I will NEVER tire of Kegsbreath whacking himself in the nuts! Kudos on weaving that in with the stellar clip of Senator Kelly ❤️

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Nancy Potter's avatar

I've watched enough HGTV to understand that marble is easily susceptible to damage, and I have to believe that with all the gold paint and glue used to attach the Temu trash, it's going to take a lot more than fumigation to repair the damage.

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Kay-El's avatar

Donny didn’t pardon the rose garden, then he paved it and put up a parking lot.

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Punkette's avatar

Clever, Kay-El! Oh how I love that song and Lynn Anderson!💕

https://youtu.be/2-eclUz-RYI

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Charles Austin's avatar

👍👍

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Susan Niemann's avatar

👏👏👏👏👏👏

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Harold Miller's avatar

Happy Thanksgiving to Jeff and all the friends and family of this loving and fearless community!

Don’t give up the ship!

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Charles Austin's avatar

Back at 'cha!😀

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Dayna Keiser's avatar

Ditto

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Tess's avatar

May these “shit sticks” or “shitweasels” all get cooties. Thanks Jeff-Have a safe Thanksgiving everyone!

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Paula Dean's avatar

Cooties from maga hideous women only!

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Robin D's avatar

Gobble and Waddle is the name of that fat pig's double chin. PROJECTION!!! I hope this is Donnie Double Chins final Thanksgiving and this country is pardoned from the likes of him, his Slovenian whore/handler wife, and his entire criminal regime.

Read JB Prtzker's Wikipedia. His father and his money came from being the head of Hyatt Hotels. Read about how Donnie Double Chins fucked his father Jay when he was negotiating with him to build the Hyatt hotel by Grand Central Station.

May that fat pig Henry VIII-like slob choke on a turkey leg 🍗 while he is stuffing his fat face as people are hungry and cold this Thanksgiving. That is what I would give thanks for. To be finally rid of this fucking fucktwat. 🙏

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Charles Austin's avatar

Hear Hear!🎉🎉

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Robin D's avatar

😂🤗

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jcali129's avatar

Where did he find Republican Felon Turkeys to pardon?

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Orange Hitler’s despot buddy Erdoğan sent them from - you guessed it - TURKEY

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Irascible Ink's avatar

😂

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

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T L Mills's avatar

or, Türkiye as they now prefer it.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

They are turkeys my God Soylent Green is made from turkeys God help us!

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Wendymae's avatar

Last night my friend told me about Sean Duffy's desire that people show more civility by dressing up to fly (FFS), as if MAGA was not responsible for the incivility. And voila, today we have the mad king's turkey pardon as the incivility of MAGA in a nutshell.

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Joyce's avatar

MS NOW compiled all of the sound bites during which Duffer earnestly pleaded for Americans to dress up in order to be crammed into a narrow seat with no leg room and to make racing through the airport in order to make the connecting flight after the original flight was delayed even more of a challenge. A shortage of trained air traffic controllers is NOTHING compared to the danger posed by people "showing up to the airports in pajamas." OH THE HUMANITY

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T L Mills's avatar

Well he should be chastising RFK, Jr. who, after boarding a plane, immediately removed his shoes and --not wearing socks--walked around the cabin with his bare feet. Eeeew.

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