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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—

"Wildfire smoke will worsen in the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic through Friday"

https://www.washingtonpost.com/weather/2026/07/16/wildfire-smoke-will-worsen-northeast-mid-atlantic-through-friday/

here in the Hudson Valley, the sky is dingy grey and the sun is orange-ish. great

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Jeff, its like this, ok?

So the orange grievance shit-loaf is going primetime tonight to relitigate 2020 for the nine-thousandth time. "it's really, really big news," he says. "it doesn't get bigger." Ok Dumbass. it's 2026. you lost that election when Lady Lindsey was still alive.

So here's the fucking magic trick, though. while you're watching that gasbag rerun, the heritage foundation — six goddamn weeks after winning at scotus by swearing they were saving girls' sports — published a report saying gut title ix, because competitive athletics make women insufficiently graceful.

Fuck them. Jeff you are my hero, always will be.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/what-survives-the-morning-the-machine-came-for-the-women-next-and-we-are-still-here-making-supper

Tess's avatar

Pisses me off what they are planning to do to women sports. (sorry for my swearing mind today!)

Flo Plazo's avatar

It's just the beginning of what they plan to do with women in general.

arne link's avatar

I suppose that women who cannot bear children will just be put into mass graves. That the plan?

LORI  D's avatar

We will be sent to work camps. If we can't work, it's the Soylent Green treatment, but probably more violent, because the dispatchers will be high on testosterone.

Flo Plazo's avatar

See Project 2025.

Carol Jacobson's avatar

Along with men whose T levels are too low for piss drunk Hegseth.

John Nerdrum's avatar

Are Piss Drunk Pete's T levels high when he is in his makeup room applying his makeup and lipstick??? What a manly man and nut crusher he is. Asking for a friend.

rlritt's avatar

Doesn't he realize alcohol lowers testosterone levels by a lot. And chronic alcohol use deletes it even when ypu are not drinking.

rlritt's avatar

Maybe we should start bearing arms?

celeste k.'s avatar

Not if we put them there first.

Wondering Woman's avatar

Swearing is perfectly appropriate in this instance. My entire vocabulary of profanity is getting a robust workout these days.

Jon Ludwig's avatar

I don’t think Jeff will be upset with your cussin’.

Stephen Schiff's avatar

This was to be expected once the US Boys' soccer was once again knocked out of the World Cup despite cheating. Lessee, how many times have the US Women won? Just asking.

Julia Fogg's avatar

In addition to JT, you are my hero, Wendy! Always with the ‘mot juste’…

Bob's avatar

Kevin Roberts should be locked in a room and supplied with the “rolling coal exhaust” of his diesel pickup truck. Not until he’s dead, but sufficiently breathless.

Mary Greenwald's avatar

Reagan tried to gut Title IX because women were on par with men in sports during his tenure. It turned out that was not any more true than anything Reagan spouted through his cue-card mouth.

HH Mohr's avatar

An acquaintance of mine is a gold coin dealer. I once asked him, “Our economy used to be based on gold. What is it based on now?” He took a dollar bill and a pen and circled the words, “In God we trust,” and grinned at me. It’s a belief system.

HI2thDoc's avatar

His fucking coin should also say "With Epstein Lust"

Susan Jane's avatar

The coin has "In God We Trust" right next to his scowling cabbage face. He thinks he is God. That alone is a symptom of insanity.

Diana's avatar

Good one Doc ♥️

Bethie U's avatar

Notice that Donny's denarius has "In God We Trust" right next to his fat, stupid, pumpkin head, like it's implying that he's a deity. With his enormous ego, that's perfect placement.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

Should we expect this fucking senile tapioca brain to invoke the Insurrection Act in his babbling tonight?

According to the end of Habermann and Swan’s book, Couchfuck is super horny to invoke it and fuck our civil liberties like a La-Z-Boy cushion.

Lucius's avatar

If we survive all this shit and Vance ends up in prison where he belongs, I hope he's inundated with furniture catalogues every single day for the rest of his life.

HI2thDoc's avatar

They will have to put him in protective isolation in prison or he's gonna be the couch in that scenario

T L Mills's avatar

Here's scary and repulsive thought: JD might enjoy being the "couch".

DuduLovesBubu's avatar

JD is called DP when among Master Theil and his gay mafia Sirs.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

CouchFuck will use his own Elmer’s glue to paste pictures of his favorite pieces to his cell walls.

T L Mills's avatar

🤯😱🤬🤬🤬🤬 😰🤮🤮🤮 How I loathe and despise both Donny Dumpsterbrain and his sidekick Capo Couchfuck.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Keep your magnets dry.

Ann Anderson's avatar

Wear a mask outside or better yet, stay in. That particulate crap is murder to breathe. Happens a lot here in Oregon.

arne link's avatar

Oh, noes! Those of us in the desert are always pining for the green forests of Oregon. So sorry. I sometimes wonder if we are like the dinosaurs after the meteor hit, still wandering around secure in our environment...

Ann Anderson's avatar

I love the climate here usually. Sometimes in summer there are forest fires. This year has been nice and damp, no fires.

Sooz Hall's avatar

Ummm, sorry to inform you that there has been a major fire in the Rogue Valley (Evan’s Creek area) for close to a week. Things do happen south of Salem.

Ann Anderson's avatar

Nice dig at Portland. Take care.

Cheri Collins's avatar

Probably so, Arne. 😔

Sooz Hall's avatar

And I agree — I usually love the climate here💗💗

Mary Greenwald's avatar

The nasty stuff is coming in through the vents here. There is no way to get away from it!

Lucius's avatar

Southern Minnesota here, the air looks like Snoop Dogg's patio and just breathing tastes like ash.

Dina's avatar

My kids live in central MN and my middle guy told me breathing is difficult and visibility is "spooky." He drives for FedEx and has to constantly get out of his truck to unload/deliver packages. He called me about an hour ago (I live in England) and said he'd only been on the job for an hour and was already exhausted and feeling a li'l sick.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Oh, I hope he’s okay! At least tell me he’s wearing a K-95 mask.

Dina's avatar

Probably not. I don't think he's grown out of his invincibility phase yet. 😕

Cheri Collins's avatar

🫂🫂🫂😔

Leu2500's avatar

UP here. my car is covered in ash.

SeekingReason's avatar

We have what looks like dense fog, but it’s smoke in Chicago. We have also been advised not to go outside and the warning is red.

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Our park district closed all its outdoor activities here in Naperville

Lucius's avatar

The air quality here is listed as Dangerous. The recommendation is that no one goes outside because minutes of exposure could cause health problems for anyone.

I just asked my store director if the company would consider letting us close early. He just laughed. I knew that was going to be the answer, but I had to ask anyway.

Susan Jane's avatar

I'll be out there on Sunday, as long as flights aren't cancelled. PA's skies look dystopian.

Sheila Riley-Callahan's avatar

Yesterday the air was brutal here in Merrimack Valley. It was darkish/orange outside and of course for a minute I thought you know who is involved in this. Today the sky is blue and air seems normal.

Claudia and Kathy are adorable. Thanks for skateboard ball crusher.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Skateboard nut bash was way better than watching him rant about testing the troops' testosterone levels. New and stupider ways to waste taxpayer money. Your insecurity is our bane, sexual assaulting Sec of Death

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Consulted my little 6-fingered friend on Keg's plan to testosterone poison the troops to achieve peak dick lethality: "Testosterone therapy carries significant risks, including infertility, increased blood clot risk (which can lead to strokes or pulmonary embolisms), sleep apnea exacerbation, and prostate growth. It can also cause acne, testicle shrinkage, and breast enlargement. It is strictly not approved by the FDA for anti-aging or athletic performance."

2Cats2Furious's avatar

So Pete couldn’t even be bothered to google the results of this plan? Sounds about white.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

It's hard to fathom how astonishingly stupid someone would have to be to match Hegseth's beefy brain power.

Susan Jane's avatar

I still say he looks like a demented terrier.

Mingo's avatar

Breast enlargement? Sounds like gender affirming care.

Lucinda Abra's avatar

The Nazis used a methamphetamine based drug, Pervitin, to amp up their troops. Kegbreath chose testosterone.

Bob's avatar

Somali warlords in Mogadishu chew khat leaves, which have similar effects as methamphetimine.

DuduLovesBubu's avatar

The testicle shrinkage is going to be painful in more ways than one. The taunting that private no balls is going to get about his tiny teenie is going to be brutal.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Secretary of War Crimes.

BluDotInARedSewer's avatar

I’m totally stealing that!

Emma Ray's avatar

I recommend that Pete Hegseth get the testosterone treatment for himself and then join in the line of fire with all the other soldiers

SethTriggs's avatar

It's fitting for the Miasma that we get as part of the package of Gilded Age 2.0!

LORI  D's avatar

I live in northern WI and it has been terrible, in the Very Unhealthy to Hazardous levels for 2 days. It is finally a bit cooler and I would like to open windows, but nope!

I looked at the map to see how my sister was doing in Southern WI, in Wauwatosa (western side of Milwaukee), The air quality level was 666, That is in the HAZARDOUS RANGE, because it is most likely fire and brimstone.

michellefromchicago's avatar

Yes, even here in Chicago, the air quality is visibly crappy. It looks like really bad humidity – – but it ain’t

serenity's avatar

It's terrible out. I masked up for my commute this morning and downtown is worse than the south side.

Kay-El's avatar

I’ve seen that image far too many times. The sun looks otherworldly

cablecargal's avatar

Claudia and Kathy are beautiful. Best friends for so many years.

Mary T Duros's avatar

Such a lovely picture of Claudia! The smoke is awful in the Chicago area.

Lairbo's avatar

Boating on Brooklyn's Prospect Park Lake and skating in the nearby rink have been suspended for today and maybe tomorrow due to "poor air quality". Reminds me of "smog days" in my LA County youth, when gym class would be held inside the gym rather than anywhere outside.

Cheri Collins's avatar

My friend in Minnesota says it’s bad up there as well. I’ve had to stay in for the last two days in order to breathe. 😔

Lois Levenstone's avatar

And apparently GOP Congressmen are mad at Mark Carney because he should stop all forest fires, or at the very least direct the wind to avoid the US. The party that wants to annex Canada has no freaking idea how big Canada is. So stoopid, it really is exhausting.

Maria 🇮🇪's avatar

SO Funny today Jeff! Made us laugh out louder than usual. Fuckwit and his merry band of dumfuckclowns, Really do need professional help. Though I doubt it’s Way too late…! Love Claudia &Kathy photo! Keep well, and sane by Not watching/listening to Gobshite tonight! 💚

Tess's avatar

This is one of your best Jeff! They are all fucking idiots-no brain cell among them. Thanks for Claudia pic Kathy :). Keep your tv off tonight-we don’t need to hear anymore lies and bullshit.

Diana's avatar

I was joking with hubby a few minutes ago- we will have to get ready for the speech tonight .. yada yada …the look he gave me was the same look he had while reading Jeff’s post about magnets !! Dumbfounded WTF 🤬 face. We’ve never ever watch anything about him- OR hear him speak he’s always on MUTE 📵

We will read tonight peacefully ‼️

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Yeah no. Can’t stand to see him hear him …..

LORI  D's avatar

I cannot watch him. I would not sleep all night. It will be bad enough to just read about it.

Vee Cross's avatar

Thanks for the reminder. Will plan to stream a great film tonight.

Jodi Richard's avatar

I’d rather do anything…literally anything than listen to that 🍊💩👜 talk, breathe, whine, snore, fart, shit himself…I usually have a spark of hope that this shit will end. Today, I am just fucking over everything that this piece of fucking shit has fucking done to our country. Fuck him and every single piece of 💩 helping him.

Diana's avatar

Let it out Jodi- you’ll feel much better 🤭♥️

Paula Dean's avatar

I'll be reading either Regime Change or The Day After. Or another addition to my Discworld collection...I really need a vacation from the idiot-donny-verse!

Barbara Rengstorff's avatar

From what I heard, no one is planning on showing it - at least the big networks.

rlritt's avatar

No it will be on all networks including CNN, Fox, MSNBC and ypu can stream on YouTube. What a meglomaniac.

Susitrav's avatar

Yes, Tess! I CAN NOT wait to NOT watch the lying liar lie!!😤

Tom Cadwallader's avatar

Not only do magnets work when they’re wet, navy ships get magnetized as they sail, and have to be de-magnetized (degaussed) periodically so enemy ships can’t locate them based on their magnetic signature.

HI2thDoc's avatar

I cannot imagine what is going through the minds of the military personnel, factory workers, all the folks who have to listen to his ignorant, meandering blather as he pukes out patently incorrect bullshit.

Joyce's avatar

Just think of Dr. Fauci's face during that infamous press conference with Donnie Demento during COVID.......

HI2thDoc's avatar

Dr. Fauci did the face palm

Diana's avatar

That’s what my husband said…. Mind blowing stupidity ‼️

Bob's avatar

We feel their pain to an extent.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

The problem is that you can't tell that demented asshole anything. He just keeps saying it because he's convinced himself it's true and there's no changing his position. EVER

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Trump is fucking dumb

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Someone needs to do a demonstration with wet magnets for him. Preferably during a live tv interview.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

I would love to see it! Maybe in the Deflection Pool, if it ever holds water again.

Diana's avatar

Pathological liars do that- they think it’s true. I have a cousin - she hardly ever told the truth!

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

I have learned from my NPD future ex-husband that once they convince themselves of something the truth never has a chance. I compare him to Trump a lot.

Bob's avatar

Then there are the Navy frogmen from WWII, that era when Dear Leader thought the military was better. The frogmen demolition teams worked with magnetic mines, among other things. He is the the champion fucking moron.

arne link's avatar

No, no, no. That's too sciency and shit. Don't confuse them with facts.

HI2thDoc's avatar
3hEdited

To the tune of Oklahoma. Slight edit from yesterday.

Trumporrhea, where the crap comes blasting out your rear

And you get the sweats with your gaseous jets

And the pain feels like it'll last a year

Trumporrhea, we have DOGE and RFK to blame

They cut the CDC and hurt food safety

Hope they get the shits too just the same

We know we hate this regime

Stupidity's their only scheme

And when we say

Go away, motherfuckers, go away!

We're only sayin'

We hate you MAGA dumbfucks, okay?!

Steve in SoCal's avatar

HAGUEseth gave me T

I grew a nice set of tits

My balls are tiny

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

LOL I was thinking the same thing. My future ex-husband had to take T and grew some rather impressive ones.

arne link's avatar

I have a friend who refers to her past husband as her Exhole. I thought that was rather fine.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

That works too! I will keep that close.

arne link's avatar

Happy to share.

Cheri Collins's avatar

Ooooo! I am appropriating that one!

Bob's avatar

Heggie is a simpleton who apparently does not know that males and females have both testosterone and estrogen. There’s also gonadoatropin and progesterone. It’s not a binary situation, everybody has a mix of those and the a balance among them changes from in vitro to old age. But what I’m thinking? Hegseth knows nothing about such things because if he did it would reduce his “lethality.” 🙄

Ann Anderson's avatar

Gold-like finish is the funniest thing I've heard so far today.

Joyce's avatar

It's gold-adjacent, I guess.

Joel S's avatar

“Trump vs. The IRS”

One does not have to be an attorney to KNOW that the Acting Attorney General and the President of The United States committed “a fraud on the court”.

THAT was BLATANTLY OBVIOUS!

Everyone in America knows that Trump is a Liar, a Fraud, a Con, a Convicted Felon and an Adjudicated Rapist, yet, in spite of those (pun intended) “qualities”, he was — because of ignorance, apathy and the Supreme Court’s despicable, disgusting, disgraceful ruling that allows unlimited dark money from wealthy people and enterprises to essentially BUY elections — elected President a second time. (Shame on all Americans for letting THAT happen!)

The point being….we already knew that Trump is fraud, a criminal.

And, now, we are going to witness the confirmation of Blanche, the other party to the fraud on the court, get confirmed as Attorney General of the United States of America.

Wondering how the spineless Republican Senators who confirm him are going to feel, going to react when the NY Bar disbars Blanche for his role in committing a fraud on the court.

LORI  D's avatar

Well, let's hope they hurry up about it. Then lets ask WI Sen Tom Tiffany why he supported him.

Larry Caringer's avatar

The only thing that makes sense about Donny’s gold coin is that it’s fake gold. Cheesy, stupid, ugly, shitty…and fake. Perfect.

Lisa Ham's avatar

Tell me about it. Those giant junkyard magnets are always having to be replaced thanks to some idiot forgetting to put the waterproof magnet cozy back on before the thunderstorm hits.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Did you ever watch Breaking Bad, where Walter and Jesse are testing a huge electromagnet to pull of a caper, and before they activate the power source Junkyard Joe says, remove all metal, including any penis jewelry, and they look at Jesse because he's the young tatted up one, and he says, "What are you all looking at me for?!"

Dave Drell's avatar

I don’t remember that scene but I do remember one of Tuco’s guys getting his face planted into the wheel assembly of a junkyard car. Nasty - Tuco was my favorite

Karen Yaholnitsky's avatar

Love "magnet cozy".

Susie's avatar

“waterproof magnet cozy”

That’s gold, Lisa! Gold!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Diana's avatar

Mind blowing isn’t it ??

Susan Russell's avatar

I thought High T came with scones and clotted cream.

HI2thDoc's avatar

And tiny little nuts

Mingo's avatar

On Royal Doulton china with the "old country roses" pattern.

Diana's avatar

Love it 🥰

Todd Goldman (DrJenAdjacent)'s avatar

Only dead presidents faces appear on money. So by the time this goes into circulation there is hope that karma will have say.

Joyce's avatar

Maybe, like everything else they do, it's an admission........

Traci Joseph's avatar

I’m sitting in my doctors office waiting, at this moment, 49 minutes past my scheduled time … and also cackling madly while reading this. At one point, laughed out loud. People are uneasy 😂 I’m greatly amused and also greatly offended, as any American should be.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

And if you were 49 min late, they'd tell you to reschedule and charge you for an office visit

devourerofpancakes's avatar

My mom waited two hours to see a specialist recently. Since it took 5 mos to get the appointment in the first place there was no way she was leaving.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Just look at they other people waiting with wide eyes and assure them, "But I'm much better now."

Diana's avatar

I hate waiting … 10 minutes or so fine but longer I get angry- don’t overbook‼️

Hope you’re seen soon Traci ♥️

Mike Yochim's avatar

I will not accept fuck faces coin.

Miselle's avatar

I might be crazy---and living under this administration, I probably am--but doesn't yearly checking your T-level sound a little .....woke-ish? Are the boys now going to compare their levels with each other? What if your level is low--are the MAGA-MY-RIGHTS-I-WON'T-GET-SHOTS!! gang going to succumb to getting meds forced on them?

What's next? Giving anabolic steroids to pump them up?

HI2thDoc's avatar

Seriously, I would not be surprised if Hegsdeath suggested 'roiding up the troops

devourerofpancakes's avatar

I think that is the actual plan. That and punishing any woman who has naturally high T levels.

Jane's avatar

They’ll probably start checking the womens estrogen level soon.

Miselle's avatar

Me, either.

And those things are dangerous when used inappropriately.

rlritt's avatar

Why do you think Hegseth is the way he is?

Diana's avatar

Roid rage anyone??

Nancie's avatar

Also, THIS IS HORMONE THERAPY!! I thought the administration was opposed to that.

arne link's avatar

Most likely. Just getting them ready for the gladiator games to entertain the emperor.

J Glaspie's avatar

Someone needs to give Hegsbreath a set of GI Joe dolls to play with and lock him up so that he cannot harm real people.

Natalia Lincoln's avatar

Those GI Joes are all gonna have to be extracted at the hospital, you know.

Dave Drell's avatar

No, someone needs to walk him off the Pentagon’s fifth floor window.

Kim Nesvig's avatar

Pete Hegseth is what happens when you put misogyny, vodka and testosterone in a bag of shit and stir.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Shaken, not stirred

rlritt's avatar

Someone should tell him alcohol use lowers testosterone.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Don’t forget racism.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

Oh FFS. The only thing that his useless coin represents is an adjudicated sexual assaulter with 34 felony convictions. I'm so glad that I won't ever have to touch one.

And I've said it before, why can't someone please show the idiot a MAGNET FISHING VIDEO????

Knowing his pathology, they probably have but once he gets something in his head it's there forever. Just like the rigged election 6 fuckin years ago.

Speaking of, all the MAGA are saying AOC doesn't want the speech broadcast because she doesn't want the truth to come out. I say it's because she (like the rest of us sane folk) knows it's just going to be lie after lie after lie with no proof of anything he's saying and the idiots in his orbit will just eat it up and repeat it like it's gospel. UGH

8647 before he destroys US