Preznit Fuckwit still super big mad about that whole Pearl Harbor thing

why didn’t anyone tell him?

at this point, you have to wonder why any world leader would agree to an Oval Bordello sit-down with America’s Mad King. you’re basically spinning the Big Wheel of Bugfuck — and there’s just no way of knowing where it’s going to land.

at best, you’ll simply sit there with a fake smile plastered on your face as President Piss-Baby plays his impotent little dominance games. you then get to go home without having created an international incident.

at worst, you’ll walk straight into an ambush, as happened to Zelenskyy.

yesterday was Japanese Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi’s turn to spin the Big Wheel.

now, I know what you’re going to ask: ‘Uncle Jeff, did shit go sideways almost immediately? did Donny make an ass of himself? did he spew pure, unadulterated dumbfuckery? did he embarrass himself, his country, and the entire world?’

do you even have to ask? of fucking course he did. this is Donny we’re talking about. his rotting cortex is a five-alarm dumpster fire. dude can’t help himself.

things were going just swimmingly until some Japanese reporter got the bright idea to ask Donny why he didn’t inform any of America’s allies before launching his unprovoked, unnecessary and illegal war on Iran.

get ready, here comes the shit-goes-sideways part.

reporter: “one question: why didn’t you tell your allies in Europe and Asia?”

Donny: “we wanted a surprise. who knows better about surprise than Japan, okay? why didn’t you tell me about Pearl Harbor?”

oh, fuck me. he actually went there — and the stupid shit managed to make it all about himself. why didn’t Japan tell him about Pearl Harbor? how about because it happened five years before he was born? can this dude carry a grudge, or what?

Donny, already squatting at the bottom of the decency barrel, always manages punch through to some new sub-basement of disgracefulness. he has no filters, talks first and thinks never, and just blurts out whatever fuckbrained ass-hattery pops into his big, dumb pumpkin head.

he’s such a fucking embarrassment.

in case you’re wondering, ‘一体どうしたんだ?’ is Japanese for ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

look at poor Prime Minister Takaichi. you can pinpoint the exact moment when her soul leaves her body.

now let’s watch Donny crank the crazy dial so far past eleven that the damned thing snaps off in his freakishly undersized hand.

“some of this weaponry is unthinkable. you don’t even want to know about it. oh, you could end this thing in two seconds if you wanted to.”

he’s … he’s talking about nukes, isn’t he?

holy fuck, it’s Dick Nixon’s ‘madman theory,’ except in this case it’s not a theory — it’s real life.

you’ve heard of the ‘madman theory,’ right? it goes like this: when Nixon was president, there was this fun thing his foreign policy stooges would do: they’d ring up their commie counterparts and go ‘look, the Big Guy in the Oval Office is batshit nuts. we’re trying like hell to keep his finger off the button, but we really can’t control him. he’ll nuke you in a hot second and not think twice about it, so maybe you ought to give him whatever he wants.’

I shit you not.

The madman theory is a political theory commonly associated with the foreign policy of U.S. president Richard Nixon and his administration, who tried to make the leaders of hostile communist bloc countries think Nixon was irrational and volatile so that they would avoid provoking the U.S. in fear of an unpredictable response.

spoiler alert: it didn’t work. Nixon was a paranoid criminal, but he wasn’t insane — and no foreign leader bought his act.

but oh, look: the Madman Theory isn’t a theory any more. now we have an actual madman in the Oval Bordello — and Iran better watch out, because no one knows what the fuck Donny’s going to do. it’s the Big Wheel of Bugfuck.

Donny’s always had this fascination about using nukes. recall that back in 2016, Donny had to be talked out of nuking a hurricane — more than once.

During one hurricane briefing at the White House, Trump said, “I got it. I got it. Why don’t we nuke them?” according to one source who was there.

The briefer “was knocked back on his heels,” the source in the room added. “You could hear a gnat fart in that meeting. People were astonished. After the meeting ended, we thought, ‘What the f---? What do we do with this?’”

thank fuck there were adults in the room to talk sense to Donny. the thing is, there are no longer any adults, anywhere — and the Mad King is even more deranged than he was during his first reign. so when he gets super horny to drop a nuke on Iran, who’s going stop him? not Liddle Marco. he’s so terrified of crossing Dear Leader that he won’t even take off those ridiculous ill-fitting shoes Donny bought him.

and certainly not this piss-drunk maniac.

“and I say this to every American who wants peace through strength. may almighty God continue to bless our troops in this fight. and again, to the American people, please pray for them every day on bended knee with your family, in your schools, in your churches, in the name of Jesus Christ.”

oh, awesome. nobody could have predicted that the dunk-tank clown with the emotional maturity of a twelve-year-old boy and covered in Christofascist tatoos would imagine he’s waging some kind of holy war.

oh, and fuck you completely, Piss-Drunk Pete. we still have a First Amendment in this country that says I don’t have to do anything in the name of Jesus Christ.

look, I’m no biblical scholar, but I really don’t think Jesus was all about dropping bombs on schoolgirls. there’s no line in the Sermon on the Mount about ‘blessed are the deranged alcoholic warmongers.’

I do have it on good authority, though, that Jesus loves watching Pete flip that skateboard up into his own nuts.

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Donny Convict blundered into this disastrous war because his despot bestie Netanyahu told him it would be fun, and because his piss-drunk Secretary of Whatever The Fuck He Imagines Himself To Be Today assured him it would be over and won in a single afternoon.

and now, having clusterfucked themselves into a stalemate with no end in sight, and with the price of gas in the stratosphere, none of these shitwits has a clue what to do.

oh look, we’ve reached the ‘let’s just throw shit at the wall and see what happens’ stage.

Scott Bessent: “we unsanctioned Russian oil ... in the coming days, we may unsanction the Iranian oil that’s on the water.”

what, we’re doing what, Soybean Scott? great, Russian oil is now unsanctioned. how nice for Putin — he’ll have the cash he needs to buy more bombs to drop on Ukraine. awesome. tell me, why is it that everything Donny does always benefits Russia?

and please excuse me for yelling, but WHY THE FUCK ARE WE SHITCANNING SANCTIONS ON IRAN’S OIL?

are we supposed to be, y’know, in the middle of a don’t-call-it-a-war with Iran? why would we help them sell their oil? none of this shit makes one lick of fucking sense.

we are being governed by literal morons.

look at poor Kaitlan Collins. she has to explain to a sitting US representative how buying and selling works.

Collins: “you talk about Iran, and what a threat they are. Secretary Scott Bessent said today, the treasury secretary, that the US might suspend sanctions on Iranian oil that’s already out to sea. I think some people might say, ‘why would you ease sanctions on a country that the United States is currently at war with?’”

Rep. Scott Perry: “do you think that Iran is, once that oil arrives at its destination, do you think that Iran is getting the check?”

Collins: “yes. they are getting the money.”

Perry: “how are they getting the money? is it being wired by China and by India?”

Collins: “yes. that is what’s happening.”

how does an elected official not understand this? he can’t answer Collins’ questions. all he can do is sputter incoherently. how does this rock-bottom nitwit get the fork to his mouth without stabbing himself in the eye?

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everything continues to fucking suck right now, so let’s just enjoy the supreme anger of Amanda Robbins. she voted for Donny three times — but she sure is super fucking pissed off at him right now.

oh, it’s not because Donny got up to sick shit with his dead pedo bestie. it’s not because he’s a convicted criminal. it’s not because of his massive human rights violations at home and around the world, or because of the destruction of democracy. and it’s certainly not because armed government thugs are running wild in the streets of our cities.

Amanda’s hella mad at Dear Leader because the price of gas is through the roof.

reporter: “if you could say something to President Trump and he was going to hear you right now, what would it be?”

Amanda Robbins: “you are a worthless pile of shit.”

reporter: “and you voted for him how many times?”

Robbins: “three times. that was my bad. apparently, I’m an idiot.”

welcome to the radical lunatic left, Amanda. here’s your copy of Chairman Mao’s little red book.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.