465 Comments

don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger.

no, wait: don't cancel your subscription, I'm just the messenger

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Never ever. But I do want you to be super careful and protect yourself from these violent, stupid cretins. Too many of us need you.

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I think Jeff's safe as long as trump has Adam Kinzinger in his sights, after that AWESOME put down yesterday is brought to trump's attention.

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Trump has his eyes on a different prize, Musk can run all presidential activities, while he golfs and holds hands with his authoritarian boss!

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Trump thinks "the richest man in the world" is his best trophy wife. Musk thinks Trump is a squeaky toy he can manipulate in his pocket.

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Trump is SOMETHING in Musk's pocket - but I don't think it's a squeaky toy. . .

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LOL

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😂😂😂

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Thank you! Finally something I can actually laugh about. Which I needed. 😂

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Can't wait to see how Elonia handles the holiday decorations at the WH. "Christmas in Mordor" is quaint compared to what Elonia will come up with.

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Musk may be the richest man in the world, but he's still one evil looking Gollum troll, with no sense of rhythm.

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My precious…

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They're both right.

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Patrick, "Den of Thieves" doesn't begin to cover it. In a narcissistic cage match of egos, I see turd and Leon both jockeying for dominance, backstabbing, talking shit, lying about each other, wanting to be FOP (Favorite of Pootie).

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Perhaps…just maybe, they will physically and mentally destroy one another. Would be like watching two Sumo wrestlers on the mat. The mat could be Rudy Giuliani.

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OUTSTANDING, Marlene!

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Don't touch the shram!

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Bosses. Vlad and Melon are running the US. Now. They will be doing lunch periodically to map out Donnie Dipshit’s agenda.

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We all have seen how The Orange Blob would rather hold his daughters ass; Fucking pervert!

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Joel, just when I forget about those disgusting pics of her on his lap.... 🤮🤮🤮

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Speaking of: there was a photo in the last weeks of OP - Orange Putz - with a daughter in law, JD & his wife at what may have been a sporting event. On OP’s lap was a blond little girl, maybe 6 yo, I’m guessing Eric’s daughter. Remember seeing Melania slap or push away her husband’s hand? The little girl had a grimace on her face and appeared to be using a strong hand to push her grandfather’s hand away from her thigh. It made me sad thinking of what he’s said about his older daughter.

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His real daddy...Putin.

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Biden better pardon Kinsinger & Cheney! If not, those evil fuckers will find some way to put them in jail........or worse

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In bad times, one can feel guilty for moments of relief. But your columns deliver both - the awful truth, explained with amazing wit! Reading these writings, is how I take care of myself as you wisely advise. Take care of yourself too, and thank you!

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How will Jeff and the others protect themselves without our help? “We are in this together”. Joyce Vance.

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I may decide not to read the bad news every day, but I won’t cancel my subscription. We need your input in this messy world. Watching from Canada is frustrating at times , but I realize it pales in comparison to the heartbreak many of you who worked so hard must feel with every news day.

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Fellow Canadian here -- we'll be having our own battles here before too long. We must stop Poilievre from becoming PM. Cheers!

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Hopefully our “shining” example will wake people up in Canada!

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Wishing you the best from the US.

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Carol, best of luck to your country. Don't be like us.

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I’m an American, but to say I’m greatly disappointed in too many of my countrymen is understatement. Not sure I will flee to Canada, but I may start making very long visits for the next four years. And, no, I don’t want Canada to be the 51st state. I like you guys as a Sovereign nation. Don’t change.

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Can we be the 11th province?

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Can’t stop won’t stop.

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Apologies for my confusion here. Did people cancel because of this article??? If so, wouldn’t they be MAGA-Felon-Humpers? So, good riddance.

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people cancel their subscriptions every day. it's just a part of life.

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To the dearly departed subscribers, "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"

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👍👍

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Not me! Not ever! My whole sanity at this point depends on you and I'm not taking a break ( that's my choice - maybe not for everyone but that's okay too 😉).

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Never, it’s what keeps me sane and hopeful!

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You were my first author subscription ever, and now, a necessary part of my morning.

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Mine too. I subscribe to a few serious Substacks, but they get either fanboys and fangirls. This group is fun. We have to laugh.

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I’m guessing that $5 spot can be better used for Tump cologne!

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Or a down payment on the Trump talking fish!!!

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Actually, just today for some reason I can’t comment via email or substack despite having a current subscription. Working here via Threads.

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Likely here to protect Dear Leader, don’t let the door hit you on the way out you MAGA mooks!!

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Yeah, why do people do that? Don't cancel just cause I wrote a new thing. 🙄

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Self wedgie from getting their panties in a bunch? 🤷🏼‍♀️

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😂😂😂

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🎊👏🏻🩷🎊👏🏻🩷

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Could be a financial situation.

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Thats true...there are so many great writers on Substack I cant afford to support them all. I'm grateful for the paying subscribers I do have...and the Buy Me A Coffee option is a nice way to show appreciation for the writing ... a one time donation.

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Right here with you Jeff! Thanks for sticking with us too.

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The $64 question is whether the Democrats will have the balls/vulvae to not vote for a CR that includes a debt ceiling hike.

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And we have won the 64,000 dollars. That's something at least.

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Indeed Stephen!!

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Retired rural carrier here, USPS is still, barely, an essential service and stamp sales pay postal payroll, so letter carriers will be paid. But retirees, like me, won’t get our OPM pension checks.

And the carriers are all working over 12 hrs/day right now, with more to come as Amazon dumps parcels from striking plants into the USPS mail stream.

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Cancel? Are you kidding? You’re helping me keep my sanity with cussing and giggles!

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Not a chance but you stay safe!

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I aint canceling SHIT, motherfucker!!!...this is some of the only brain food out there that helps steer me towards sanity!!!...but I wholeheartedly agree that if these fucksticks wanna see what revolution really looks like, go ahead and fuck with social security...cause THAT shit right there will get me to take to the streets!!!

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Best $5 s month I spend

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Jeff, as I have maintained ever since the Reagan White House tried to fire the civil servant implied by a small federal commission, if you lose your sense of humor you’ve lost everything. I need your humor.

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And a great messenger you are. We are Democrats. We are unlikely to shoot anyone.

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Don't worry, you're the sanest voice in the media. I'm sure as fuck not giving up on you.

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Their loss if they cancel

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Two-part question for the panel:

How many references to President Musk until Trump orders him to Gitmo?

How long until Trump realizes he's been deposed?

Discuss.

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We need to keep calling Musk President and put all our attention on him. He will be out of Dear Leader's graces in a NY minute.

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Even though the evil dumbshit emperor has been bought by Musk, he may finally realize that he's been played to the max.

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Elonia's problem is that the rapist isn't an honest politician. He doesn't stay bought.

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"Elonia" is the best ship-name in the history of ship-names.

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I’m quite certain that JP Morgan, Hershey, Mott, Marconi, Dreiser and many others, who had tickets aboard the Titanic, liked ships named Olympus and German Amerika, that brought them safely to port better JLH!!

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Lol yes absolutely true, but I was referring to relationShip-name. Elon + Melania = Elonia

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Putin runs the show as mafia boss of both of these execrable tosspots!

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👆👆👆👆👆👆🎯 Putin owns a varied cast of characters everywhere.

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Doubtful

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Fact of the matter is, Putin is one of the wealthiest and most powerful mob bosses in the world! Every oligarch gives him a cut of their action Jeanne!!

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Putin sucked them in, and then made them pay for the privilege of keeping their wealth.

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Yes, let’s refer to Musk as President and Trump as his Chief of Staff. Big demotion ain’t gonna sit well with the fat guy. Hehehe.

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Ambassador to Trumpmuskovistan.

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Dubious Melinda both are Putin puppets!!

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👏🏻👍🏼

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"President Musk and Vice President Trump" will do it.

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Trump is nothing without musks money.

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I prefer President Ketamine Clyde.

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Yes, I think Trump’s ego is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, he can be bought with the tiniest bit of flattery, which means we’re fucked as far as national security is concerned. But on the other hand he won’t take kindly to being neutered by someone younger, richer, smarter and more powerful. This may be the only thing that saved us from Elon. Two crazy, malignant narcissists fighting for control over our country. I’d grab the popcorn, if only it didn’t make me so sick to my stomach.

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Agree with everything except the idea that Elno is smarter than Trump. They are intellectually equal dipshits. What Trump has over Elno is some weirdo bully charisma that a lot of people find appealing. Elno is without charisma, and though Trump is beholding to him right now, Trump is never really beholding to anyone.

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Trump, has the con-man's feral cunning to spot a mark, and has failed upward due to the illusion that he is a rich man.

Musk is smarter, he has taken over many successful businesses, and sucked money from the gov teat to keep them going, Tesla should have tanked long ago, but his stans keep buying bits of stock to keep the price up, It is so overpriced it is not funny.

That said Elon, is socially clueless and seems to not understand any World history, politics, diplomacy, or even basic polite interactions. He is inept at being a human in society, and like Tangeranus has surrounded himself with suck-ups. Both are a blight on society, the country, and the world, being easily manipulated by Putin.

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TSLA is a meme stock. Check out all the old line and traditional car makers and the P/E ratio is between 5 and 10 (that makes them actually good investments), yesterday, TSLA's P/E ratio was 120. That is very frothy, and defies gravity. One day it will have to crash, and that will be glorious to watch

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Thank you yes the P/E is unreal!

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Tell the media we want to see Elon's sex videos he made with Amber Hurd.

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Trump grew up with mobsters all around him, Tony (fat)Salerno nicknamed him Little Elvis! He’s definitely a product of his youth, but definitely beholden to one of the world’s biggest mobsters counter!!

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Donny is most likely too far gone for confrontations or power plays. But riches are his very identity and Elmo has riches in spades. I think he arranged a quid pro quo with Musk, his very own shadow president.

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Funny how musq appears to be potusing, pre inauguration. Did turd ok mosq post? I'm waiting for the two malignant evil doers to clash. turd is known to enjoy pitting those close to him against each other, enjoying the drama and chaos. Bring it on, fellas! Or should that be felons?

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Everyone in the administration will be at each other’s throats. There will be lots of intrigue and instability within the ranks.

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How will the news media ever render ongoing reports to the public that will sanewash and make sense out of what is going to happen inside that administration?

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Based on recent history, the media is all the way down (in the sewer) for the challenge.

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Donny (and Elmo) watched what happened when elderly Joe Biden stepped aside for a young, attractive, vibrant Kamala Harris.

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Well, I wouldn’t necessarily call musk smarter. He’s just a younger version of trmp with the same personality fuck ups. He is Asperger’s smart with the ability to focus intently on one thing which leaves him vulnerable elsewhere. But they share similar characteristics.

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They are both sociopaths.

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