here’s how you know shit’s getting real: it’s when they have to drag Preznit Fuckwit’s Slovenian green-card rent-a-wife out from wherever she’s been hiding, and prop her up in front of a camera.
“good afternoon. I heard you meesed me. here I am. velcome to the Vite House.”
oh, please. the only people who meesed Melania were Donny’s handlers, who were in full damage-control mode after four days of wall-to-wall coverage of Diaper Nurse Natalie.
they were desperate to change the subject, so they coaxed Melania — who hadn’t been seen in public in over a month — to come out of her hidey-hole, and had her stand up in front of the assembled crowd on the Epstein Parking Lot where the Rose Garden used to be, so she could talk about— let’s get real, no one gave a shit what she talked about. no one was listening to a word she said. she was only there to generate photos of the loving First Couple.
speaking of which, how much extra do you think they had to pay Melania to hold Donny’s rotting hand?
it’s a legit question to ask, because she usually smacks that shit away.
Donny’s minders are spooked. their plan to demonize Jon Ossoff by gining up fake outrage over something he never actually said has blown up right in their stupid faces.
the press doesn’t give a shit about Ossoff — not where there’s a juicy tale of what-the-fuck-is-going-on-with-Donny-and-his-hot-stalker story they could be covering instead.
as I wrote a couple of days ago, what the wingnut screech-monkeys should have said was nothing.
if the outrage machine had simply ignored Ossoff’s remark, and let it pass without comment, it would have been a non-story. no one would have noticed it. Natalie Harp wasn’t part of the national conversation. the average American had no idea she existed.
but now, the press is shining a spotlight all over this shit. they want to know everything.
the Daily Beast got a hold of a couple of letters that Natty wrote to Donny, and they’re every bit as cringe as you might imagine.
who does this?
okay, look — something is very wrong with this woman, and she’s in bad need of an intervention. if Donny actually gave a shit about Natalie, he’d get her some help. but he doesn’t give a shit — he just loves it that a hot young blonde is willing to lavish him with attention.
but I just want to highlight this one particular passage:
“I miss the days when you used to call, during my Talkshow days, and we’d talk about everything and nothing. I want to get back to that synergy. We shouldn’t have to talk about work all the time!!”
because don’t you love it when life imitates meme?
so, basically, even before Natty went to work for Donny, she and Dear Leader were having a series of late-night phone calls? holy shit, no wonder Melania smacks his hand away, when she’s not getting paid to hold it.
the Natty Harp story has broken containment. it’s taken on a life of its own — that’s why Operation Distract From Natalie was launched. and because MAGA has the attention span of a flea and the object permanence of a newborn babe, it worked — on them.
I’m sorry, does MAGA actually believe that these two professional grifters have genuine feelings for each other? fact check—
MAGA may fall for that load of horse shit, but it ain’t working on the rest of us. and because, as Jesus so wisely counseled us in his Sermon on the Mount, ‘blessed are the meme creators, for they shall win the internet,’ I give you today’s winners.
meanwhile, elsewhere in the Donnyvere, the answer to the question ‘why are bad’ eternally remains ‘because Joe Biden.’
Fox Business dunderhead: “I want to start by asking you what the Department of Agriculture is doing to bring beef prices down for American?”
AgSec Brooke Rollins: “listen, what we are facing in America today is the direct result of a war on cattle by the previous administration.”
ah yes, who can forget Joe Biden’s Glorious War on Cattle?
personally, I was a member of the 23rd Battalion — the Fightin’ Cow Catapulters, that’s what we proudly called ourselves.
come on. Preznit Fuckwit was inaugurated 578 days ago. he promised he’d lower the price of everything on Day One. what happened to that?
oh wait — you don’t think Dear Leader was just talking out of his ass again, do you?
but let’s look at the chyron on that video clip: ‘cattle shortage driving beef prices higher.’
look, I don’t know shit about any of that stuff — but do you know who does? Google’s janky, six-fingered plagiarism robot. so I put on my Responsible Journalist and Everything™ hat, and asked it, ‘why is there a cattle shortage?’
America’s cattle herd has shrunk to its lowest level in over 70 years—dropping to roughly 86.2 million head—driven primarily by multi-year droughts that destroyed pasture grass, high operating and feed costs, restricted live cattle imports, and aging ranchers retiring without successors. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
huh, four actual reasons, and none of them ‘Joe Biden.’
gosh, you don’t think Brooke Rollins was lying to us, do you?
I can’t decide whether today’s Hero of the Day is this dude who ahem allegedly destroyed a Flock camera, or the grand jury who refused to indict him.
CLERMONT COUNTY, Ohio (WKRC) - A Clermont County man, who was facing felony vandalism charges for allegedly destroying a Flock camera in Union Township, had his case dismissed.
know how the cops nabbed this alleged vandal?
Police said surveillance footage from other nearby cameras helped identify Morelock as the suspect.
other nearby cameras — because nothing says ‘land of the free’ so much as surveillance cameras that have multiple surveillance cameras trained on them.
fuck these Flock cameras, and fuck every elected official who gets the bright idea to inflict them on their communities. this technology is evil, and it’s practically begging to be abused.
our founders would be shitting their breeches if they could see what’s become of their cherished dream of ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’
anyway, the story has a happy ending.
A Clermont County grand jury declined to indict Morelock on felony charges.
even though this guy was filmed by multiple camera, the grand jury refused to indict. that’s how much people fucking hate living in a Surveillance State.
are you paying attention, politicians?
well, it’s Friday. we made through another week in one piece. let’s reward ourselves with some Daily Claudia and get out of here.
here’s one of Ms Spouse, location unknown, on July 18, 2012.
and here are two from the Sylvan Glen Park Preserve in Yorktown, NY, on June 22, 2016
have a great Friday, everyone. if Donny tries to hold your hand, smack that shit away.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—
"Rare Tornado Hits New York City as Storm Drenches Mid-Atlantic"
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/21/nyregion/tornado-storm-long-island-delaware.html?smid=nytcore-android-share
holy fuck!
we had a pretty spectacular storm up here in the Hudson Valley last night, but nothing close to tornado-level
fun fact: the first draft title of this post, as I wrote it last night before going to bed, was 'economic policy, but with morons' — but then, as I sat down to write the post this morning, the Natalie stuff took over. especially after I found out about the letters.
and I never got around to using this dumb-ass quote from Soybean Scott, which I had originally intended to lead with: https://bsky.app/profile/atrupar.com/post/3mtjobexdm22s