oligarch overlords agree: stop whining, financial collapse is good for you

scenes from an economic meltdown

let’s say you’re a fucking moron.

now let’s say that through a combination of ignorance, arrogance, and sheer bluffoonery, you’ve managed to shitcan the entire world’s economy, all in a single day.

so, what do you do for an encore?

if you’re Mad King Donny, you praise yourself for having done an amazing job.

“THE OPERATION IS OVER! THE PATIENT LIVED, AND IS HEALING. THE PROGNOSIS IS THAT THE PATIENT WILL BE FAR STRONGER, BIGGER, BETTER, AND MORE RESILIENT THAN EVER BEFORE. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!”

whatever you say, Donny.

seriously, that was Donny’s metaphor for the day — the operation was a success! he repeated it at every opportunity.

reporter: “the markets today are way down. the worst day in years. because of the tariffs. so, how’s it going?”

Donny: “I think it’s going very well. it was an operation like when a patient gets operated on.”

“an operation like when a patient gets operated on” — sheer poetry from the master of incoherence.

to hear Donny tell it, he brought his patient through a harrowing procedure. you see, Donny knows more about surgeoning than all the surgeons. because of his other-worldy skill, the economy is now big and strong, with rippling muscles, and — with tears of gratitude rolling down its cheeks — is saying sir! sir! how do you do it? I’ve never felt better! sir!”

but wait — let’s ratchet up the shamelessness of Donny’s self-praise. let’s crank that fucker all the way past eleven.

President Nine Iron lauded himself for having done an amazing job, while on his way to go golfing at one of his own vermin-infested golf motels — on a Thursday.

hang on, is Donny golfing in a suit and tie? look at all these secret service agents following him. it’s a motorcade. no, it’s a golfcartcade.

but wait — the shamelessness gets even more fucktacular.

Donny had plenty of time to golf on a Thursday — along with his cronies from Bone Saw Arabia — because he blew off what he was supposed to be doing: greeting the caskets of four fallen soldiers.

these are the same soldiers that Donny had to first hear about from a reporter, because nobody in the White House thought it was important enough to bother Donny about.

fuck that honoring shit, am I right?

let’s check in on granny-starving oligarch Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick — because it’s been at least twelve hours since he’s said anything heartlessly out of touch. I’ll bet he’s got a good one for us. something really horrible and tone-deaf.

“let Donald Trump run the global economy. he’s knows what he’s doing. he’s been talking about it for 35 years. you gotta trust Donald Trump in the White House, that’s why they put him there. let him fix it. it’s broken. let him fix it. let Donald Trump fix the American economy.”

Howie is either lying through his teeth, or revealing himself to be another gullible dupe, hoodwinked by the producers of The Apprentice into believing that Dear Leader is The Smartest Businessman Who Ever Lived.

oh, please. Smart Honcho of Business is a character Donny played on a game show. let’s check Donny’s real-life resume over these last 35 years.

he turned a four-hundred-million dollar inheritance from his tyrant Klansman father into a one-point-two-billion dollar loss. he became so toxic that bankers refused to lend to him, and he had to turn to Russian mobsters to finance his harebrained schemes. he went broke running casinos. he filed for bankruptcy six times. he bought an airline and ran it into the ground. for fuck’s sake, he couldn’t even sell a board game. that’s just a partial list of Donny ‘accomplishments.’

and to all that, now we can add bankrupted an entire planet.

hold your horses, Howie the Lut isn’t done saying stupid shit.

“you’re going to see employment leaping starting today.”

are we, Howard? really?

Alexa, show me what cognitive dissonance looks like.

“we are really, really excited, and very grateful for President Trump’s leadership.”

that was Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins yesterday, extolling the virtues of Dear Leader while the Fox News ticker next to her showed the Dow plummeting twelve hundred points.

things got so bad that Fox removed the market ticker from their screen, and spoon-fed their dimwit audience topics more palatable than Donny’s global financial armageddon.

it’s been a few minutes since I’ve needed to say this, but The New York Times can fuck all the way off.

they’re still up to their sanewashing bullshit. Donny’s economy-destroying decisions aren’t the bumblings of a reckless idiot — they’re the derring-do of a bold taker of risks.

stop your fanboy swooning, New York Times — as I’m writing this, the markets just opened and the Dow is already down over 900 points.

China just announced their own retaliatory tariffs on US imports.

Mad King Donny assumed that he’d impose his tariffs and the whole world would come crawling on its knees, begging to negotiate. it ain’t happening.

he’s about to find out that — despite his pig-headed insistence to the contrary — that trade wars are not good, and not easy to win.

not one of these billionaire fuckstains like Howard Lutnick or the Space Nazi — or even fake billionaires like Donny Convict — have a single clue what it’s like to live in the real word. so what if the price of everything doubles? they won’t even notice.

do you think Lutnick has ever had to choose between paying for medication, or paying the rent? ha fucking ha.

these motherfuckers think financial collapse is good for you. hey, you’ll be able to pick up a few stocks on the cheap, and sell them when the market goes up, so what’s with all the bellyaching?

with any luck, these assholes will lose bigtime, and be forced to survive in the economy they’ve inflicted on the rest of us.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.