oh noooooo! Donald Trump just threw shitastic lawyer Alina Habba under the parking garage

and just like that, it’s over

last week, after losing her client $83.3 million in the Yes, You Fucking Well Did Rape Her trial, ace parking garage lawyer Alina Habba stood defiantly before the microphones and promised “I’m just getting started.”

well, guess what:

I am in the process, along with my team, of interviewing various law firms to represent me in an Appeal of one of the most ridiculous and unfair Witch Hunts our Country has ever seen - The defamation Sham presided over by a Clinton appointed, highly partisan, Trump Hating Judge, Lewis Kaplan, who was, together with certain other Radical Left Democrat Judges, one of the most partisan and out of control activists that I have ever appeared before. He was a “bully” who demanded two trials, rather than one, denied me Due Process, would not allow me to put forth vital evidence (of which there was much!), and only allowed me to be on the witness stand for minutes, telling my lawyer what to ask, and telling me to only give one word answers, as his wife and friends sat in cordoned off front row seats watching with glee. This entire HOAX is a disgrace to our American System of Justice. Any lawyer who takes a TRUMP CASE is either “CRAZY,” or a TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT. I will make my decision soon!

that’s right, Grandpa Crazypants fired Alina Habba in the most Grandpa Crazypants way possible: via a rambling, delusional middle-of-the-night post on his failing app.

welcome, Alina, to that exclusive club known as the Stinky Shitpile of Former Trump Lawyers. here’s your tiny violin. here comes Sidney Powell to teach you the secret handshake. here’s Kenny Chesebro to explain why it’s a bad idea to lie to a grand jury. and Rudy Colludy will be along in a minute to recommend a good collection agency.

why the sudden frown, Alina? oh, what — you thought you were getting paid? you actually thought Donald Trump was going to pay your bills? oh, you dear innocent babe in the woods.

this is the face you make when you demand to speak with Donald Trump’s manager

and just like that, it’s over for Alina. no more photo ops. no more Fox News appearances. nor more going on podcasts to brag about how fucking stupid you are.

you’re history. in fact, MAGAworld has already decided you’re an agent of the deep state.

“I DONT TRUST ALINA HABBA!! I believe she is Deep State Plant just like Jenna Ellis. They have prevented him from hiring competent council the entire time & when he does find council they ALL seem to be incompetent or corrupt. This is planned”

all that’s left is for you is to take all those legal briefs with “Mrs. Alina Trump” scrawled across them and tearfully feed them into the fireplace, sheet by sheet.

and then it’s back to whatever the fuck it is that a parking garage lawyer does. sue cars, I guess.

can somebody please explain to me the upside of working for Little Donny Fuckface, because I’m not seeing it. all I see is a long line of disgraced and disbarred dipshits.

is it because you get to hang out with Jabba the Trump? what is the attraction of rubbing elbows with a vulgar, ill-tempered pig? sure, he may be nice to you right now, but it’s only a matter of time before he’s chucking ketchup bottles at your head and going on Newsmax to talk about how stupid and disloyal you are.

it is because you get to lounge poolside at Mar-a-Lago? oh please, Palm Beach is packed to the gills with shitty golf motels. just drive a mile up the road to the next one.

there were two reasons Trump hired Alina

it can’t be for the money. Rudy, explain to the nice people why it’s not for the money.

don’t any of these people watch the news? how delusional do you have to be to observe the carnage — the shattered lives, the ruined careers and the guilty pleas — and conclude I’m the one who can handle this overgrown baby.

Joey Tacopina, who strategically quit hours before the start of the Carroll defamation trial — leaving the parking garage lawyer to twist slowly in the wind — is looking smarter and smarter with each passing day.

here’s to you, Joey. I’m never going to call you Tacopenis again.

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Donny Ratbrain dementia watch

Trump held a press conference yesterday — and it was a technicolor fucktangle of batshittery. check out this clip:

reporter: “are you thinking of trying to use campaign funds to pay some of the penalties?”
Trump: “what penalties?”
reporter: “in the New York fraud case and the defamation case.”
Trump: “I didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, that’s been proven as far as I’m concerned, and actually, we won in the Court of Appeals, you probably saw that. that case has been largely won in the Court of Appeals.”

holy shit. “actually, we won”? “it’s been proven”? what the fuck?

hello, Earth to Donald Trump, come in please.

is it just me, or does the rate at which Trump is sliding into permanent befuddlement seem to be increasing? the way it’s going, Sundowning Grandpa Poopypants is going to be a drooling mess by November.

it’s kind of sad that Donny doesn’t have a loving family willing to get him the medical attention he so obviously needs. at this point, putting Trump in front of a camera is a really a form of elder abuse.