not-so-super Tuesday: Donald Trump remains weak, vulnerable and dumb as fuck

don’t fall for the media spin

breaking: as I’m writing this post, Nikki Haley has announced that she’s dropping out of the presidential race. by the time you read this, she will have made an official statement. more on that below.

---

Super Tuesday has come and gone. yesterday, 16 states held their primaries, and today’s headlines are going to be all about how Day One Dipshit fucking crushed it.

don’t fall for it.

while the mainstream media continues to play its Joe Biden is old and icky and UGH why doesn’t he just quit already games, only Fox News seems willing to address the demented elephant in the room.

“you look at the exits for GOP voters tonight who won’t guarantee their vote for the nominee. North Carolina, 35%, Virginia 36%, California 33%. that has been consistent, 30–50% of people who don’t want Trump but identify as Republican or are voting in that primary.”

Donny is in a shitload of trouble — and not just the please Letitia don’t seize my golf motels kind. there are just too many No Fucking Way Republicans who can’t stomach the idea of ever voting for a demented dictator wanna-be facing four criminal trials.

“what made switch you from Trump to Nikki Haley?”
“the man is a lunatic, and I think he’s terrible for the country.”
“what are you thinking about when you say that?”
“just that he lies, he cheats, he’s bankrupted millions of businesses and people, and I just don’t see anything good about him.”

Trump is not growing his base. if anything, he’s repelling the people he needs to hang on to.

last night, at his vermin-infested Florida golf motel, Donny delivered an oddly-low-energy speech, wherein he praised himself, spread conspiracy theories, lied about every fucking thing, and sniffed loudly throughout.

“covid, uhhh, I don’t even talk about that, because covid was such a horrible thing, it started in Wuhan lab, just as I said — the Wuhan labs — and it came out I believe through incompetence — I believe it was incompetence, some people think it wasn’t, but I believe it was SNIFF but regardless of course sixty trillion dollars worth of damage and death all over the world, all over the world SNIFF and we did a fantastic job on … that, we never got credit for that, unbelievable job on that, we came up with things that nobody thought was possible — don’t forget, when it came in nobody had an idea what it was. they didn’t even use the word pandemic. nobody had an idea SNIFFFFFFF”

whatever you say, Sundowning Grandpa Memoryhole. tell us again how 15 cases of covid went down to zero, and then it disappeared like a miracle.

---

speaking of Day One Demento, here’s an infuriating bit of news.

Large swaths of voters appear to have little awareness of some of Trump’s clearest statements of hostility to democracy and intent to impose authoritarian rule in a second term, from his vow to be “dictator for one day” to his vague threat to enact “termination” of provisions in the Constitution.

lovely. huge numbers of voters have no idea that Donny wants to be a dictator, because it isn’t being reported on — and they have no idea that Trump can’t get through a speech without his brain short-circuiting, because that isn’t being reported on, either.

come on, worthless scribblers of the press, do your fucking job. inform the public. Joe Biden is old is not the most urgent issue of our day, but it’s all the voters are hearing about.

---

meanwhile, Joe Biden cruised to massive victories everywhere except American Samoa, where he lost to some guy named Jason Palmer, 51 to 40. no, those aren’t percentages, that’s the actual vote count. 91 people voted in the Samoan primary.

JOE BIDEN’S IN TROUBLE! BROKERED CONVENTION! PALMERMENTUM!

ladies and gentlemen, I give you President Palmer

---

now, onto the big news of the morning:

Nikki Haley — the woman Trump keeps confusing with Nancy Pelosi — is suspending her presidential campaign.

Haley won’t announce an endorsement Wednesday, the people said. She will encourage Donald Trump, who is close to having the delegates needed to win the GOP nomination, to earn the support of Republican and independent voters who backed her.

She is expected to emphasize that she will continue to advocate for the conservative domestic and foreign policies she supports and caution against some of the dangers, such as isolationism and a lack of fiscal discipline, that she sees coming from Washington.

it’s a shame, because just the presence of Nikki in the race drove Trump absolutely fucking bonkers — plus, he had to waste energy and resources on primary battles.

now, Trump is free to use the RNC’s money for more important items — like Alina Habba’s botox treatments.

here’s a bit of Haley’s announcement.

“but the time has now come to suspend my campaign. I said I wanted Americans to have their voices heard. I have done that. I have no regrets.”

so long, Nikki. you’re a terrible person and your policies are garbage, but you did convince a lot of Republicans not to vote for Trump, so there’s that.

so what’s the consensus on how long it takes Haley to go back on her word and endorse Donny? two days? a week?

---

hey, look who’s retiring from the Senate.

Sen. Kyrsten Sinema, I-Ariz., announced on Tuesday that she will retire from the Senate rather than run for re-election after her party switch.

good fucking riddance to Kyrsten Fucking Sinema. she ran as a far-left progressive, fooled her voters into believing her — and once in office, abandoned every principle she claimed she had, lined her pockets with lobbyists’ cash, snuggled up to Republicans and thwarted the Biden agenda every chance she got.

and she dresses like some fucked-up rodeo clown.

buh-bye.