none of this shit is popular

Republicans are screwing their own base — along with the rest of us

so, Senate Republicans put on their usual dog-and-pony kabuki. they did that thing where they rend their garments, throw their arms up in despair, and wail ‘how can I in good conscience vote for this terrible bill? so conflicted! so conflicted!’

the media gobbles this Lucy-and-the-football shit right down. it makes for such great headlines. Republicans in disarray! legislation in jeopardy! will they actually defy the Mad King?

and then, when it comes time to vote, every almost single fucking Republican is a ‘yes.’

so now, the Big Beautiful Pile Of Shit goes back to the House, where we can watch the same pretend-garment-rending happen all over again.

three Republican senators actually had the bravery to vote against this economic abomination. Tom Tillis, Rand Paul, and — holy shit — Susan Collins! this time, Susan Collins didn’t susancollins. she actually stuck to her guns and voted against the bill she swore she wouldn’t vote for.

but you know who did just susancollins her way to infamy? Lisa Murkowski. you can drop blame for the bill’s passage right in Lisa’s lap. if she’d voted no — as she implied a thousand fucking times that she would — the bill would have gone down in defeat, 49-51.

Lisa Murskowski is so sad right now. she can’t understand why Lisa Murkowski didn’t prevent Lisa Murkowski from doing what she did.

look how sad.

“I know that in many parts of the country, there are Americans that are not going to be advantaged by this bill.”

and later,

“we do not have a perfect bill by any stretch of the imagination. my hope is that the House is going to look at this and recognize that we’re not there yet.”

fabulous. Lisa’s going to absolve herself of any culpability, and kick the can across the Capitol Building back into the well of the House. she’s going to hope Republican Reps bail her out.

oh, sure. because Madge Three-Toes and Handey Oakley and Holy Mike Johnson and the whole worthless lot of them can always be depended on to do the right thing.

thanks a fucking lot, Lisa. here’s a present from the American people.

who’s the biggest pantload in the Democratic Party right now? I’m thinking it might be this guy.

“NEWS: I just got the name struck off this bill with a move on the floor of the Senate. It is no longer named ‘One Big Beautiful Bill.’”

awesome work, honcho. that’ll solve everything. you have totally met the moment, Chuckers.

write yourself a strongly-worded letter.

in a world of Chuck Schumers, be a Jasmine Crockett.

“I don't really understand what it is that y’all plan to go back and tell your constituents. the reality is that you have sold your constituents out for 83 people in this country. how is it that you can explain that we still are running up the credit card and we have nothing to show for it except for the fact that we won’t have food on the tables and we won’t have health care?”

I’d love to predict the imminent demise of the Republican Party, because none of this shit is popular.

Harry Enten: “you don’t have to be a mathematical genius to know that these are horrible, horrible, horrible numbers. Washington Post, -19 points, Fox News -21 points ... holy Toledo — you just never see numbers this poor ... to quote Sir Charles Barkley, ‘terrible terrible terrible’ ... it is one of the most unpopular pieces of legislation that I have ever seen.”

and that clip is from from before the bill cleared the Senate. wait until the House passes this shitpile of a bill, Donny signs it into law, and Cletus finds out that Dear Leader lied to him about saving Medicaid — and now grandma has to come live with him because her health insurance went fuckity-bye, and the nursing home kicked her out onto the street.

you would hope that Republican voters will remember how they got fucked, all the way to Election Day next year. but the average MAGA is basically the guy from Memento, who literally can’t remember what happened five minutes ago, unless it’s tattooed onto him.

so it’s up to us to stay angry, and never let your drunk MAGA uncle at Thanksgiving forget how Dear Leader screwed him.

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oh look, it’s just the worst people in the world, having the time of their lives at the Grand Opening of America’s newest concentration camp, Alligator Auschwitz.

yeah, that let’s trample all over basic human rights shit sure is fucking hilarious.

hey, you know who else laughed it up while doing war crimes? these jolly madcaps.

those are guards and office workers at the actual Auschwitz, kicking back during some downtime.

oh, huh.

folks, these are truly historic times we’re living in. it isn’t every day you get to watch an American president’s brain leak out of his ears in real-time.

reporter: “Mr. President, is there an expected timeframe detainees will spend here? days, weeks, months? and does that have anything to do with the immigration judges you just spoke about, being trained and staffed here?”
Donny: “what was the first part of your question?”
reporter: “is there a specific timeframe you expect the detainees to stay here? days, weeks, months?”
Donny: “in Florida?”
reporter: “yes.”
Donny: “I’m gonna spend a lot. look, this is my home state. I love it. I love your government. I love all the people around— these are all friends of mine. and they know I’m— very well. I’m not surprised that they do so well. they’re great— people. uh, Ron has been a friend of mine for a long time. I feel very comfortable in this state. I’ll spend a lot of time here.”

in the space of one second, Donny forgets what question he’s been asked, and starts improvising a nonsensical answer.

does Donny even know what planet he’s on right now? I’d love to see a reporter stand up and ask ‘Mr. President, what day of the week is it?’

hey, worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press — any interest in reporting on the obvious deterioration of Mad King Donny Demento?

I thought so.

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you know, there are a lot of things in this world that have never happened — but if you were to put together a list of all the things that never happened the most, the heartwarming tale we’re about to hear from Kristi Noem would def be in the top five.

“Joe Biden let the worst of the worst come in. they other day I was talking to some marshals who have been partnering with ICE. they said that they had detained a cannibal, and put him on a plane to take him home, and while they had him in his seat, he started to eat himself. and they had to get him off and get him medical attention.”

MY GOD, PEOPLE, THEY’RE EATING THE DAWGS. THEY’RE EATING THE CATS. THEY’RE GNAWING ON THEIR OWN ARMS.

because I’m a responsible journalist and everything, I googled “ICE detains cannibal” — just to double-check, because who knows? maybe this patently ridiculous allegation isn’t just some fever-swamp hallucination of Kristi’s. maybe it actually happened.

fact check: fuck off, puppy perforator.

every search result links back to yesterday’s press conference, and everyone is mocking Kristi for being a dumb-ass — with the exception of the wingnut media. they’re printing it as if it were God’s own truth.

check out the New York Post.

because of course they are. it’s good business. no one ever went broke underestimating the gullible stupidity of MAGA.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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