so, the world’s oldest toddler finally got to have his Big Boy Vroom-Vroom Car Race, and like everything this underwhelming fuck does, it was underwhelming as fuck.
like his half-baked birthday party on the National Mall, like his roid-rage cage match, like his botched reflecting pool, like everything, it was a big bowl of who gives a shit.
as with all the other crap that Preznit Fuckwit inflicts on We the People, nobody asked for this, nobody wanted this, and nobody needed this.
here’s the sum total of what Donny’s Grand Prix race accomplished: it completely disrupted everyday life in DC, for no good reason at all.
The race has required workers to weld down more than 200 manhole covers, move traffic lights, and put up barriers that have disrupted traffic, while the National Gallery of Art has had to protect its sculptures from vibrations and airlines have had to reroute flights.
and now all that shit has to be un-fucked. those barriers now have to be carted away, traffic lights have to be put back where they belong — and some poor schnooks now have to go out and un-weld 200 manhole covers, all because some overgrown child had an infantile obsession with turning our nation’s capitol in a race track.
can we just talk for a second about what a ginormous moron he is? seriously, did Donny actually need to be instructed on which end of the flagpole to hold?
spoiler alert: yes, he fucking well did. it’s a flag. it only has one place to grab onto it. how do you screw that up?
now, do we have any lip-readers in the room? I’m asking because Donny and his Slovenian rent-a-wife were definitely not enjoying each other’s company during the race, and it showed.
which of the five languages that Melly claims to speak do you imagine she was using to bark at Donny?
but wait — it gets better. so much better.
Melania leaves as soon as Natalie Harp is spotted in the booth.
oh my god oh my god oh my god. shoot that shit directly into my veins.
you gotta love how Donny couldn’t give less of one shit that Melly walks out on him. he just turns and immediately starts yapping with the yutz sitting to his right.
what a callous asshole.
now let’s take a minute to express some appreciation for the drivers of the Indy cars. they didn’t sign up to be Donny’s pawns. they were just doing their jobs — and they actually seem like pretty cool dudes.
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, himself in a regular suit and tie, approached a group of racecar drivers hanging out by the paddock. “All right, let’s take a selfie,” Mr. Lutnick said. The drivers jumped in the frame.
“Good luck today,” Mr. Lutnick told them. “Enjoy it. This is all of Washington, just for you.”
He walked away. One of the drivers turned and shrugged.
“I honestly have no idea who that was,” he said.
bro, that was Howie Nutlick, the guy who told your grandmother that if her Social Security check gets lost in the mail, she should shut the fuck up about it and stop whining.
but what’s always so galling is how Donny’s sycophant flunkies have to pretend that whatever stupid clownfuckery he gets up to is the most awesomest thing ever.
Doug Burgum claims the residents of DC are telling him of the Indycar race, “please, please, do this again next year.”
yeah, right. big, strong DC residents, their massive biceps rippling in the noonday sun, tears of gratitude coursing down their cheeks, are going, ‘sir! sir! please disrupt our lives every year! sir!’
that’s such a cool story, Doug. tell it again.
look who else showed up to praise Dear Leader to high heaven — the limpest dick ever to wield the House Speaker’s gavel, Holy Mike Johnson. this lazy asshole has been AWOL from Washington for the last month, but stick a camera in his face and give him the opportunity to kiss Donny’s ass, and here he comes running.
Mike Johnson says he wants to make the downtown DC Indycar race “an annual event ... I’ll be pushing for that”
reality check: nobody wants this.
Karin Schall, can you step in here for a second and tell Donny what We the People really want?
WE DON’T WANT AN INDY CAR RACE ON THE NATIONAL MALL. WE WANT HEALTHCARE, FOOD THAT WONT KILL US, THE RELEASE OF THE TRUMP EPSTEIN FILES, AND FUCKING ACCOUNTABILITY.
damn straight. thanks, Karin. you’ve done us all a solid.
is food that won’t kill us too much to ask? it’s a legitimate question, because it was just a little over a year ago that we all woke up to the news that the FDA was shitcanning most of its food inspectors.
BREAKING: The FDA is planning to end most of its routine food safety inspections, according to CBS News.
fast forward one year, and we’re all living in the Summer of the Human Shit-Geysers — and now we can’t eat blueberries, for fuck’s sake.
The Food and Drug Administration raised its recall of GreenWise frozen organic blueberries and mixed berries earlier this week, deeming them a high risk for Americans ... due to ‘reasonable probability’ that they could cause serious harm or death.
free clue for Donny: fix this shit.
quit it with the dumbfuck vanity projects, and fix all the shit you broke.
instead of vroom-vroom car races, how about ending that clusterfuck that’s going on with Iraq? instead of bloodthirsty human cockfights on the White House lawn, how about getting those masked and armed federal thugs off the streets of our cities? instead of Epstein Dance Halls and Epstein Helipads, how about you stop snuggling up to despots and alienating our allies? stop imagining you can bully the world. that shit ain’t working.
and for fuck’s sake, leave Canada alone. the last thing we need is a trade war with Doug and Bob McKenzie.
and of all the stuff we didn’t ask for, do you know what we didn’t ask for the most? for wild horses to be rounded up and sold for slaughter. WHAT THE FUCK???
The horses were packed into echoing metal trailers and trucked 1,800 miles east to the pens of a hard-luck livestock trader in Ohio named Brandon Jones, who bought them for $25 each.
A day later, two double-decker cattle trucks pulled up at midnight, loaded the mustangs and quickly drove off into the night.
From there the mustangs disappeared. They never appeared at a public auction. The trader won’t say where they went. Wild horse advocates suspect the horses were shipped to slaughter.
this is just cruelty for cruelty’s sake. there’s literally no other reason for it. I swear, my fucking head is going to explode.
which brings us to our hero of the day: Arizona Governor Katie Hobbs, who’s putting an end to this wild-horse-slaughter fuckery in her state.
Just weeks before 25 Salt River horses were set to be removed, Gov. Katie Hobbs halted the removals and ordered a genetic viability study of the herd.
Advocates for the wild horses celebrated the decision as a major victory after months of pressuring the governor and state agricultural officials.
“We are thrilled with the Governor’s actions because, from the very beginning, more than a decade ago, it has always been our mission to preserve these cherished and historic wild horses for future generations of Arizonans to enjoy,” said Simone Netherlands, president of the non-profit Salt River Wild Horse Management Group.
thank you, Governor Hobbs.
ugh. let’s do a palate cleanse with some Daily Claudia.
here’s one from our living room on January 15, 2024.
here’s one from a week earlier, on January 7, 2024.
and this last one’s from April 19, 2023.
have a great Tuesday, everyone. remember, when shit breaks, fix it.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—
"Washington Post Ordered to Rehire Fired Columnist
An arbitrator ordered the newspaper to reinstate Karen Attiah, who was fired after posting about 'white men who espouse hatred and violence' following Charlie Kirk’s killing."
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/24/business/washington-post-karen-attiah.html
good. it's always nice when a justice gets committed on a Monday morning.
Karen Attiah's on bluesky, in case anyone wants to congratulate her directly.
https://bsky.app/profile/karenattiah.bsky.social/post/3mtt6bari2s2w
Slighly off topic, but speaking of accountability, where are the refunds for the illegal tariffs we paid? Why have we (apparently) decided it's okay if the companies receive and keep the refunds? I know donnie and his fuckwits don't care, but why aren't dem politicians and we raising hell about this?