no, you treasonous fucks, January 6 was not antifa and the FBI. cut the crap already

you must be a special kind of stupid

those goofy gaslighters are back, peddling the same old snake oil, and their message is as batshit as ever.

January 6 was a just lighthearted tourist romp. but also it was antifa. but also people were just blowing off steam. but also it was Black Lives Matter. but also anyone jailed for it is a political prisoner. but also it was the FBI dressed as Trump supporters.

I know, right? it’s complete conflicting nonsense. my dudes, you’re supposed to be lighting the gas, not inhaling it.

can you believe we’re still doing this, almost three years after the fact?

a whole cottage industry has built up around the lunatics and crackpots who are all pushing various fairy tales of what “really happened” on January 6th, 2021.

these conspiratorial fever dreams have their own colorful cast of characters — shadowy Deep State figures with names like “Scaffold Commander” and “Fence Cutter Bulwark.”

there are podcasts. youtube videos. web sites. tiktoks. radio shows. but somehow the proof of this Deep State skulduggery is always just out of reach, just around the corner, but just you wait, any day now they’ll have it for sure.

this cockamamie bullshit is infecting even the upper echelons of the GOP. Marjorie Three Toes Greene holds jailhouse photo ops and yammers incoherently about “political prisoners.” Clay Higgins loves to hold hearings so he can yell about “ghost buses” full of “FBI agents dressed as Trump supporters.”

Little Donny Fuckface has gotten into the game, too, promising to pardon everyone in sight — and he’s even planning on citing all of these idiotic conspiracy theories as proof of his innocence in his upcoming Big Insurrection Fuckery Trial in DC next year.

anyway, January 6 is back in the news because Not Yet Fired House Speaker Holy Mike Johnson is releasing all the footage of the assault on the Capitol.

there’s just one hitch.

“we’re going through a methodical process of releasing them as quickly as we can. as you know, we have to blur some of the faces of persons who participated in the events of that day, because we don’t want them to be retaliated against, and to be charged by the DOJ.”

not to put too fine a point on this, but what in the actual fuck?

“we don’t want them to be retaliated against, and to be charged by the DOJ”

you don’t want to … identify lawbreakers? because … why? because you want them to get away with it?

awesome fucking job you’re doing here, Mike. way to uphold your oath to protect the Constitution — and way to obstruct justice.

but wait — if these rioters are really “antifa” — a thing which by the way is definitely not a thing — wouldn’t Mike want them to be prosecuted?

and if they’re FBI provocateurs, wouldn’t Mike want them identified?

if none of this make the slightest fucking bit of sense to you, congratulations, you’re sane.

hey Mike, to save you some time, we’ve already blurred the face of the January 6 mastermind.

anyway, get ready for all of this stupidity to accomplish exactly jack shit. because this is all just deja vu. we’ve been here before.

back in March, when Tucker Carlson was still Fox News’s ball-tanning golden boy, No Longer Speaker McCarthy gave him the Jan 6 footage. Tucks devoted a whole show to it.

it was an enormous fucking nothingburger. the world yawned and moved on. it was such a disaster that Tucker — who had promised an entire series of shows based around the Jan 6 footage — never brought it up again.

Holy Mike’s stunt is a big bucket of same as it ever was. it’s all just more performative-nonsense fucknuttery designed to create soundbites and keep the rubes glued to Fox News.

the world will once again yawn, and the House will move on to more pressing matters — like impeaching Joe Biden over helping Hunter buy a truck in 2018.

oh, and the icing on the cake? the nutballs in the Freedom Caucus are already pissed off at Holy Mike for blurring the faces of — get ready for it — FBI agents.

Mike, you’re never going to please these lunatics. stop trying.

let’s give the final word to the anonymous creator of this meme:

“if you think the left dressed up like the right to raid the Capitol and change the outcome of an election they just won … you must be a special kind of stupid.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.