let’s start off with a bang. ladies and gents, I give you the winner of the Nobel Best Sign At No Kings Day Prize.
it’s Wonkette’s own Rebecca Schoenkopf — because once you’ve said what Rebecca’s said, what else is left?
folks, we did it.
an estimated seven million of us gathered peacefully coast to coast, to rise up as one and convey a singular message: fuck you, you fucking fuck — you’re not our king.
wait, did I say coast to coast? no, it was the entire world telling Donny Convict to fuck straight off.
folks showed up in South Korea.
and Geneva.
also in London.
holy shit, there was even one homey who parked himself in front of the US embassy in Tallinn, the capital of Estonia.
dude, you fucking rule.
meanwhile, back here in the US of A, the crowds were ginormous. check out Boston.
of course, Boston is in the major leagues when it comes to protesting. they’ve been perfecting this shit since 1773.
here’s Chicago.
and here’s Los Angeles
in Washington DC, folks carried a gigantic copy of the US Constitution down Pennsylvania Ave.
Times Square in New York City.
holy shit, look at Pittsburgh.
and look at Charlotte, North Carolina.
it wasn’t just blue states. check out Salt Lake City, in deeply-red Utah.
and it wasn’t just big cities. Highlands, North Carolina, is a tiny town of only a thousand people. an estimated six hundred of them showed up to give Donny a well-earned finger.
the worst people in the world were so horny to paint No Kings Day as some kind of mass terror event, organized by some imaginary ‘pro-Hamas wing of the Democrat™ Party,’ whatever the fuck that is, and paid for everyone’s favorite wealthy Jew.
check out the full-time podcast bro Fidel Cancun.
Ted Cruz: Follow the money. You look at this No Kings rally—there’s considerable evidence that George Soros is behind funding these rallies which may well turn into riots.
hey, did you know that Ted Cruz has a side hustle as a US Senator? I know, I was shocked when I found out, too. I thought all he did was podcast, and put his unctuous werewolf face on Fox News.
anyway, here’s a fact check for Teddy C: fuck off.
Ted Cruz, you odious dumbfuck. do you actually think George Soros is cutting seven million paychecks for the protesters? I have a question: is Soros withholding taxes and issuing 1099s, or do we need to be keeping track of that shit ourselves? is an inflatable frog costume a deductible business expense?
fuck me, did I even remember to save the receipts?
I sure hope Hamas appreciates what these frolicking dinosaurs in Chicago are doing to further their cause.
here’s an additional fact check for Ted and his claim of ‘widespread rioting’: piss up all the ropes.
The majority of the No Kings protests have dispersed at this time and all traffic closures have been lifted. We had more than 100,000 people across all five boroughs peacefully exercising their first amendment rights and the NYPD made zero protest-related arrests.
New York City: zero arrests.
now let’s contrast that to what happened on Yes Kings Day, when a bunch of crybabies went ape-shit because they couldn’t deal with Dear Leader being a loser.
what was it that Ted and his ilk called these cop-beating fuckfaces? oh right: tourists blowing off steam.
let’s see if anyone got arrested closer to Ted Cruz’s home city of Austin.
Thank you to everyone who participated in the No Kings March today. The rally remained peaceful, with no arrests reported. We’re grateful to our community and event organizers for coming together to make sure voices were heard safely and respectfully. Great job ATX!
sorry, Ted. nada.
oh wait, there was one arrest of a protester. a woman in a penis costume got nailed in Fairhope, Alabama, for ‘lewd conduct.’ great use of your time, Fairhope cops. you’re doing the lord’s work.
and some dipshit in a Trump shirt got arrested for pulling out a gun at a protest in Myrtle Beach, FL.
so for those of you keeping score at home, it’s
— ginormous penis, 1
— MAGA asshole, 1
— seven million peaceful protesters, 0
Fox News is cordially invited to go fuck themselves. they spent the day trying to convince their credulous dolt audience that America was burning to the ground.
that’s all they have: lies. they know that the dopes glued to their TVs won’t even bother to look out their windows.
oh wait, America’s self-appointed Bathroom Panty Inspector has something to say.
words, what do they even mean, am I right, Nancy?
what was Nancy Mace even doing, tweeting during a day of widespread chaos and mayhem? she should have stationed herself in front of some porta-potty, so make sure no transgendered dinosaurs committed any crimes against nature.
fuck those fucking fucks. it’s time for some more heroes.
it’s funny, but I didn’t see one sign today that said ‘I love Hitler’ — I guess that shit’s only for unfuckable incel Republicans.
check out what the doughiest pantload ever to shit himself in the Oval Office farted out onto his failing app. it’s AI-generated slop of him, wearing a fucking crown, flying a fighter jet over protesters and dumping literal shit on them.
fuck off, Donny.
was this dumbfuck video supposed to own libs? it should come with a warning label: no libs were owned by the distribution of this infantile twaddle.
this isn’t even conduct unbecoming of a president — it’s conduct unbecoming of anyone over the age of two.
wasn’t it just a little while ago that this deteriorating fuckwit got flummoxed by an escalator that turned into stairs? keep dreaming your little dreams of fighter-pilot glory, you insignificant, spiteful homunculus. we’re all laughing at you.
you’re not our king. you’re a very naughty boy. now go away.
and could our media please stop failing us?
no, it wasn’t ‘brown liquid’ — it was shit. just come out and say it.
oh, and New York Times: it wasn’t ‘thousands of protesters’ — try MILLIONS.
what the fuck is wrong with you?
let’s wrap this up with a palate cleanser. here’s Rebecca Schoenkopf again — because hers is a sign so nice, I’m using it twice.
have a great Sunday, everyone. you’ve earned it.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
874 / 963
as always, this coulda been twice as long. I didn't even get to Couchfuck's video, or the fuckery with I5 and Camp Pendleton
No notes. Well, maybe just one. I’d love to see a debate between the 53-yr-old Alabama woman arrested for wearing the penis outfit and Tommy Tuberville. Can we get that to happen?