no, Hunter Biden did not ‘get off easy,’ you tiresome little crybabies

dry your eyes and quit blubbering

early yesterday morning, we got the news that Hunter Biden had agreed to plead guilty to two federal misdemeanor crimes of willfully failing to pay federal income taxes.

I scowled at the notification on my phone, and said to myself, “this is going to be a very stupid day.”

I wasn’t wrong.

sure enough, the howls of outrage started immediately.

oh Gym, you shouty half-dressed buffoon, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

Jimmy and all his screech monkey pals were outraged — OUTRAGED — that Hunter was allowed to quietly settle while Dear Leader got indicted and will have to endure a trial.

let us remind these morons: Donald Trump was given numerous opportunities to quietly settle — the Archives and the DOJ repeatedly asked him very nicely to pretty please, just give us back the stolen nuclear secrets, and all would be forgiven.

but no. Donny had to lie and obstruct and dig himself deeper.

and I’m actually being imprecise here — Hunter Biden didn’t get a lenient deal.

Roger Stone got a lenient deal — for a more serious tax violation.

but it wasn’t faaaair, blubbered the dipshits. what about the laptop? what about the prostitutes? what about Hunter Biden’s dick? why can’t we see Hunter Biden’s dick?

dry your eyes, you sniveling crybabies.

look: a Trump-appointed prosecutor investigated Hunter Biden for five years. he looked into everything. the laptop. the prostitutes. the non-existent bribery. the imaginary corruption. no stone was left unturned. when Joe Biden took office, he allowed the probe to continue. after five years of thorough investigation, all this Trump loyalist could find were two tax violations and a minor gun charge (more on that in a minute). I’m sorry that you had dreams of Biden Crime Family scandals galore, but that’s all she wrote.

deal with it.

---

while all this was going on, there was a concurrent meltdown over the second part of Hunter Biden’s plea agreement.

Hunter Biden also has agreed to enter into a so-called pretrial diversion agreement in connection with a federal felony charge of possession of a gun by a person who is a user or addict of illegal drugs, according to the filing by prosecutors in U.S. District Court in Delaware.

oh my fucking god, the whining over this gun business could be heard on the moon.

as if there aren’t at least fifty thousand fentanyl-addicted yokels crawling around the American south right now with personal arsenals that could bring down an elephant.

these fucking people — these utter shitheads — these loathsome “SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED” dipshits, who will tell you that any teenager with a grudge should have free access to military grade weapons, and if a school full of children happen to get shot the fuck to death as a result, hey, that’s just the price of freedom — suddenly, these fuckers found a gun regulation they like.

the hypocrisy just makes your head explode.

once again, Hunter Biden didn’t get off easy here. this particular gun charge is almost never brought.

---

meanwhile, let’s check in on the stupidest fucking moron in the multiverse and see how he’s coping.

dear god, somebody please lock him the fuck up already.

---

it was an utterly stupid day, so let me leave you with a laugh.