316 Comments
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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

yes I know that USNS Harvey Milk is a ship, not a boat. I'm sorry, but "gay boat" is just funnier than "gay ship"

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Valerie's avatar

Boat schmoat, we all knew what you meant. And it was damn funny.

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Bob Bowden's avatar

They botch everything they do, so they’ll probably rename it the Lindsey Graham and install a nautical Fainting Couch for use by performative Republicans in rough seas

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Linda Weide's avatar

I would like to point out that this was what I was wondering about when I read Project 2025. Trump has allowed other people to determine his entire agenda as President, because as a populist he does not have his own vision.

As for the protests on June 14, well, I know that there are several planned around Germany, in Berlin, Hamburg, Frankfurt and Munich. Here is a video a friend sent me of students at a DOD school also walking out of school and protesting. It is called, "Why American kids in Germany are walking out of school." The school shown here is in Ramstein, Germany. https://youtube.com/shorts/Dywf4aXMnS8?si=bn2iSpFX36zhf-p8

SAVE THE FUTURE FOR OUR CHILDREN!

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Margaret's avatar

Linda, I appreciate your posts. Thanks!

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Linda Weide's avatar

Thanks Margaret.

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Lee Ann Vindasius's avatar

My thought exactly. Lindsay Graham will christen the ship, clutching his pearls.

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Isn’t he gay?

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Worst kept secret in Washington.

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W.C. Jones's avatar

You mean Trump's "ball washer" both on and off the course?

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Marian Goldsmith's avatar

Funny in my morning fog I read “Christian” the ship. I guess that might be what comes next for naming.

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James Starr's avatar

Im surprised he is not naming them all after himself and his family

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Bob Bowden's avatar

He’ll name a submarine after Melania that very rarely surfaces, and refuses to go down at his command

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Cathy Wray's avatar

haha!!!

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

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Mary Lou Williams's avatar

Don’t give him any ideas.

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Zija Pulp's avatar

They should install a combination bidet and barf receptacle, too!

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Or for use when Couchfuck McGee goes for a joy ride!

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Bob - 🏆🏆🏆🏆

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BigDaddy52's avatar

50 years ago (DAMN, THAT'S A LONG TIME!), we who rode aircraft carrier John F. Kennedy called it a boat.

Guess renaming all these is additional evidence of good use of DoD moneys.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Our bloated defense budget can’t compete with Ukraines $ 500 drones that covertly trashed Russian air fleet, so we’re forced to waste billions on Kegstands whims Big!!

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Derek Smith's avatar

~$50K in drones destroyed $7B in bombers. Talk about an amazing ROI!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I’m guessing that Ukraine was playing poker with a fully loaded hand , Donnie's “ you have no cards” claim was short lived Derek!!

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Zelenskyy was holding that ROYAL FLUSH, very close to his vest.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Exactly my thought Kristy! Like minded I’m guessing!!

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TCinLA's avatar

This is why Imperial Militaries (which is what we have) are always the final losers.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Love this point. And the irony that our sweaty, beefed up Sec. of Defense needs his own fully-appointed beauty salon, but hates gay.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

That hair do requires a lot of lard.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I know right? He's greased up like a cut-rate Gordon Gecko.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Truly amusing that a white nationalist Nazi required such pampering Sharon!!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Poignant Tom!!

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

Always go with the funny

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BayPoodle's avatar

Truly, those are words to live by.

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Richard Braun's avatar

Masterful column, Jeff. Love your passion and indignation. Don't stop. You keep me from drowning in my outrage.

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Carolyn Enloe's avatar

Amen, Richard. I agree 100%.

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mary's avatar

Why not "gayship?" We have friendship, fellowship, partnership. In fact in Annapolis we have a company Womanship that teaches sailing to women who aren't interested in being hollered at.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

"...women who aren't interested in being hollered at."

Priceless, Mary! 👏👏👏

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

OT, but...many years ago, my husband and I went kayaking through a mangrove swamp in Florida. First time for kayaking, and they put us in a two-person version. Husband declared that he'd steer, and I should just provide back-up muscle. Well....we hit every damn tree on the route. The last leg was across a little bay to a beach. There was a buoy in the bay, with unobstructed water for at least 50 feet on either side of it. Yep, we hit it. Never been more embarrassed in my life. The tour guide said that when two women were in a kayak, smooth sailing throughout. Two men, some fighting for control, but ultimately, not too bad. A man and a woman was a recipe for crashes, as we proved. Yikes!

We actually took up kayaking 9 years ago, and suffice it to say, we each have our own boat. Husband still manages to occasionally run into me in an

open lake. Is it something about the Y chromosome??

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

Yup.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Ya know....I think that explains a LOT. Not to be sexist or anything....

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Isaac Segal's avatar

Aye, aye, your gayship!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Jeff, one thing I have noticed about you is that your hair is not coiffed. When did you lose your comb?

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arne link's avatar

Yeah, really! Where is Jeff's makeup studio? We demand a make-up studio for Jeff! If Kegbreath gets one, why not Jeff?

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

No, I like disheveled hair, just not on me.

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Ian's avatar
2dEdited

As a homo-American, I hearby demand that we be referred to as Your Gayship through pride month.

Thank you for your Attention to this Matter.

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DR Darke's avatar

Maybe Drunken Pete will rename it the USNS Boaty McBoatface!

I hear the British would be happy to give it to him—especially David Attenborough....

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Karen Kressenberg's avatar

As a gay woman and a proud US Army veteran, I can only pity this moron. I have so much stuff he doesn’t: a successful career, 30 years with my wife, no lurching around every bar in the city shitfaced out of my mind, and as far as I can tell about twice his IQ.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Thanks for your years of service - and believe me, most people don’t give a rat’s fuck about

your sexuality when defending us. Except, of course the assholes

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Yes, they'd rather lose. That's why they're still supporting the Confederacy and renaming military installations for losers.

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Karen Kressenberg's avatar

I’ll say one more thing: it’s been hard loving my country more than my country loves me. I’ve had a good life, don’t think I’m over here feeling sorry for myself; and I wouldn’t take anything for my time in the Army. But…

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Karen Kressenberg's avatar

Thank you. I would have made a career of it if times had been different. I lived in fear of losing my TS clearance, and knew I could not have a long term, open relationship.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Karen, you're definitely overqualified for the cabinet

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Rick Calegari's avatar

That's for sure. The main criteria for being qualified to be a part of this shitful administration is to have no qualifications. Besides being nothing but a bunch of racist and misogynistic imbeciles, this presents a very strong argument why gay men, women or anyone should not be discriminated against serving in the military or any position.

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Roberto's avatar

Thank you for your service to our country, Karen. And happy Pride Month to you and your spouse!

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Phil Burns's avatar

Thank you for your service!!!

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Elle's avatar

Oh, you definitely have more than twice his IQ. Any old average woman does who didn't vote for that shit-show currently polluting the White House.

But a woman with military service and a 30+ year marriage has AT LEAST four times as much intelligence as Kegstand Pete. Maybe more.

Thanks for your service, and for your devotion to your spouse. I'm sure she appreciates you.

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Donald Lipkis's avatar

Remember when Trump said he has done more for the LGBTQ community than anyone in history? He misspoke of course. What he meant was, he did more TO the LGBTQ community than anybody else.

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Joyce's avatar

Please don't underestimate your IQ. Or overestimate his, as he kills off brain cells......

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Why waste pity on this maggot. The best revenge against these cretins is a life well-lived, so you go.

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

You clearly have 10 times Kegstand’s IQ, at a minimum.

And you have empathy, of which he has none.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Waaaay higher on the iq

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TCinLA's avatar

Only twice?

since his IQ is minus-5, I suspect there's a greater distance.

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Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Thank you for being you!!

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Hollie Rood's avatar

Karen, thank you for your service ! You have so much more than this moron couldn’t even begin to understand, I don’t pity the likes of him at this point in my life. I feel nothing but pure contempt. Wishing you and your wife many more years of love and happiness and again thank you for your service to our country

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Thank you for your service and

ℍ𝔸ℙℙ𝕐 ℙℝ𝕀𝔻𝔼 𝕄𝕆ℕ𝕋ℍ!

\( ̄▽ ̄)/

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Stranger Than Friction's avatar

I like everything about you and your statement! I have a mere quibble, which is we should just drop the IQ crap from our conversations. Its misuse comes out of the eugenicist movement from the turn of the last century, which was a bigoted attempt to keep non-white, non-male, non-western-democratic-country-raised human beings in a box labeled "inferior." A link to more information: https://www.thebubble.org.uk/current-affairs/columns/iq-testings-problematic-past/

.

Now, going after *hic*seth for his personal vanity, as well as his ignorant, bigoted views and resulting decisions and actions: FAIR GAME. Thank you for your service!

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Kathleen M Kendrick's avatar

Thank you for your service.

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Dawn Sweredoski's avatar

This is beyond sad and stupid. I wonder how much it costs to change the name of a ship, including the paperwork, etc. Can we call that waste, fraud, and abuse?

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Definitely qualifies for the nonsense DOGE was whining about Dawn!!

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

💯💯💯

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Some of these days, I wonder if you could slap someone hard enough to decapiitate them

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Worth a try Richard, let me know the results!!

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

This will be the best sign. Will endure forever. The end of sign making. Still laughing!

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

How is that guillotine coming along?

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

I just love this. I think it will be my next marching sign. I am still laughing.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

I got mine ready for the 14th: “Rebels are we! Born to be free! Just like the fish in the sea!” With little musical notes around it.

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Brenda McDonald's avatar

One of my favorite protest songs. 😂. Which version are you using Sleeper or Bananas? 🤣

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Oh, it’s the same tune both times!

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Brenda McDonald's avatar

I know! 😂

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

It’s “The Rebel Song”! All true rebels must sing it! Even Rebel Wilson!

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

That is the best yet!!!

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Norma's avatar

lol 😂

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

I think X tried, spunky little shit.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

“Crown Prince Snotwiper” as Mr Jeff calls him.

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

Only if the side of your hand is sharp enough.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Sharp as a katana, perhaps Mz!!

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

☜(⌒▽⌒)☞

𝙷𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜, 𝚁𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍!

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Cyndi Merrill's avatar

Maybe we will get really lucky and some hurricane will hit the golf motel head on while 🍊 is in residence, since he won't have those accurate warnings that make him fly to NJ.

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

Great comment Cyndi!

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Scott Robbins's avatar

The uss taco

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Lisa's avatar

The USS Tucker Fishstick Nepo Baby Carlson

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

🤣😂

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Wendymae's avatar

You know FF will want to name them all after himself.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

You know USS Vladimir Putin must have sailed across his septic tank of a mind.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

The SS King Fuckface the First

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

These bozos ain’t gonna stop until everything is named after traitors, disgraces, and grifting business failures.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

The Regime only cares about ratings and clicks and putting it to the Libs. They are anti-competent bizarro-idiocracy types. The MAGAts who voted for tRump the 2nd and 3rd times should be forever banned from voting.

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Margaret's avatar

Or banned from reproducing.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

OMG. He'll be selling naming rights to billionaires!

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Shhh…

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Sad truths Neal!!

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Derek Smith's avatar

The U.S.S. Ronny Jackson. After all, he was/is an Admiral or something.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Dude, that wouldn’t surprise me but he ain’t dead. Yet.

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Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

Are ships like postage stamps? You have to be dead to have one named for you? Well, then just tell Donnie we can name a ship after him if he agrees to fuck off and die. (Then don't actually name a ship after him.)

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

The perfect tribute would be to name a vessel that is to be used for gunnery practice. Then sell tickets to inscribe your name on a shell, and the winner — the one whose shell administers the coup de grâce — never has to buy a drink in any bar in the civilized world ever again. This honor to be passed to one’s heirs in perpetuity.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

You and Liz win the thread, Neal. 😉

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Brilliant idea, Liz and Max!

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Derek Smith's avatar

Look at his eyes - he's dead inside.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

A fish rots from the head down.

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Jan Moon's avatar

If there's ever a USS Miller I'm outta here.

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Mary Lou Williams's avatar

Will there be enough boats/ships to name all Republican members of Congress?

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Paula's avatar

USS Sporkfoot

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Kay-El's avatar

1. Louis XIV had a very gay court. We had an era called the Gay Nineties. I had a cousin who was a gay sailor. No matter what Piss Drunk Pete does, he can’t stop gay history.

2. Mad props to John Morales for telling the truth. Thoughts and prayers to the idiots that voted to huff and puff and blow their own houses down.

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Mary Hall's avatar

I have a female cousin in her 80s named "Gay." She's a MAGAt so I hope her MAGAt friends give her endless grief about it.

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Diane Kempf's avatar

Awesome Jeff. Not only hilarious as always but you sure do some research. I'm smarter today, thank you, about Greek history and Heroine Sybil Ludington. Very cool!!

("Boat gayness" will get me through this renaming bullshit) 😆

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

the only reason I know about Sybil Ludington is because about six miles from my house are historical markers along the path of her ride

https://www.hmdb.org/m.asp?m=22592

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Susan Keefer's avatar

Strange that I was never taught about Sybil Ludington in history class. 🤔🙄

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Maybe you don't live where she was a legend. In New Jersey we read about Molly Pitcher.

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Really? I went to school in NJ & never heard of Sybil. We did learn about Paul Revere, though. I think my history lessons were very whitewashed- all white, important men & manifest destiny & all that crap

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

In the Fifties or early Sixties we learned about Molly Pitcher at the battle of Monmouth. My dad used to read The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere by Longfellow to us the night before, April 18. My son was born April 19, so I read it to him the night before his birthday.

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Susan Keefer's avatar

I was taught about Molly Pitcher, but nothing about Sybil.

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Diane Kempf's avatar

It was so interesting to read about her. Thanks for sharing!!

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Sybil’s ride is not something I learned about in school

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Because she's female.

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Elle's avatar

There was also Deborah Sampson Gannett, who disguised herself as a man and enlisted under the name Robert Shurtliff. She was a combat veteran in the American Revolution. Fought under the command of George Washington. Was wounded in battle. Wasn't until she contracted typhoid fever that she was found out, though, and she was actually granted an honorable discharge.

Paul Revere personally supported her petition to Congress to grant her the pension owed to her as a veteran. Fairly well-documented historical records.

She's also the official heroine of the State of Massachusetts.

She's of particular interest to me because she and I are cousins, as descendants of Governor William Bradford.

Deborah Sampson was my third cousin, seven times removed: she was a 2nd great-granddaughter. I'm a 9th great-granddaughter.

Deborah Sampson Gannett is buried about 1.5 miles from my home. This time of year, I regularly cut flowers from my garden and leave them at her grave.

She was an absolute badass, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for her.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Talk about waste, fraud, abuse. These hatemongers spend so much time on personal biases that they don't actually govern or address important stuff. Incompetent, petty, stupid, detrimental to America. What a travesty

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T L Mills's avatar

Which why our military is stuck in the 2000's using old tactics and in some cases old tech. The Pentagon is too bloated to be nimble and up to date. Look what Ukraine is doing with far, far, FAR less.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Russia has lost over 1 million troops in Ukraine using Cold War technology and military tactics, so Vlad is also getting his generational shock treatment. He's just been reduced to threatening Europe with nuclear war, in a temper tantrum. Duck n' cover!

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

The repugs are so brain deficit they won’t remember what boat name they were going to change and to what.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

In the Sixties in Sproul Plaza they used to yell "throw the gas back!"

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Right on Doc!!

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Christy xx's avatar

Oh hell. The gay love boat. They’ll be turning all the enlisted seamen into seamen. 🤣 (I was enlisted Navy) ⚓️

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Brad Yazell's avatar

Love John Morales. I lived in South Florida for 35 years and he was the only local weather authority I trusted to give us the straight scoop. No grandstanding, no false panic. Just the truth. Thank you, John. I'm sorry you have to deal with this nonsense.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

I'm just stunned that he reigned supreme for lo those many decades. Not only does he insist on telling the unvarnished truth, but how did no righteous patriots notice that he sports a surname that cannot be all 'Murrican and shit?!?

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Brad Yazell's avatar

Don't forget, South Florida is mainly hispanic. Plus Broward County is the Bluest county in the state. Still he's made it last a good long time, even in the age of the orange shitweasel.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

I forget nothing. Broward is not the only county down there, weather respects no borders. Likewise, stupid respects no ethnicity. I'm equal opportunity on wishing the worst for anybody who voted for their own destruction.

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Wendymae's avatar

I live there now (I know, I know) and fully expect to get an alert in my inbox by the end of the week that he's been fired.

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Brad Yazell's avatar

I think he's out of fucks to give at this point.

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Aleksander Constantinoropolous's avatar

If the Navy is afraid of one gay boat turning all the other boats gay, then I regret to inform them that Loveboat reruns have already sunk their fleet.

Also, banning names like Harvey Milk while keeping Confederate nostalgia alive is like scrubbing rainbow flags off the hull while painting swastikas on the anchor. Warrior culture? Please. The Sacred Band of Thebes would eat these war-flavored incels for breakfast and then kiss each other goodnight.

Rename it the USNS Fragile Masculinity and let it drift aimlessly in a sea of its own testosterone tears.

–Virgin Monk Boy 🛶✨

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

BRILLIANT 👏

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Susan Niemann's avatar

“Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson!”🤣🤣. Jesus Christ! We are such an embarrassment. They stay up late at night to find ways to make us miserable or kill us. 🤦‍♀️

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I have always been keenly aware of Ike’s warnings about the Military Industrial Complex. Unfortunately he never foresaw the wastrel dictator wannabe, along with a cabinet of onerous cretins, that would be the country’s downfall Susan!!

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Still, "nutwarmers" deserves a bow.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

𝙸 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙳𝚘𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎."𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝙽𝚊𝚟𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 $𝟸𝟶𝟶, 𝙰𝚕𝚎𝚡."

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL! I agree, Dana. It's SOOOOO beyond reality, but here we are... living it.

F them all. Let's move to Spain. 😘

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Stephen J. Hyland's avatar

Can’t name a navy ship for Mother Tucker Carlson. Only for the deceased. Though one can only hope.

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AddaGurl's avatar

The rules don’t apply any more.

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Juli's avatar

Dolores Huerta is alive

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Abbi's avatar

Then we definitely need to suggest they name them after MAGA frauds. wastes, & abusers. Then sit back & hope the boats become compliant with the rules Kegstand & his boss will likely ignore.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

He'll sell naming rights, maybe even to corporations. So they can slap their logos on the sides of ships like NASCAR.

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Major Kong's avatar

USS George H. W. Bush was names when he was still alive.

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arne link's avatar

Ukraine has shown us what modern warfare will consist of. Anyone can fly a drone or drive a truck. Sorry, gentlemen. You don't need a d^@k to fight anymore.

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Mary Hall's avatar

Lucian K. Truscott IV had a great column about that yesterday -- https://substack.com/home/post/p-165154705

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arne link's avatar

I am a subscriber. He is a wonderful writer.

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Mary Hall's avatar

Yes, he is! And I see your comments on his Substack. I especially appreciate his knowledge of military matters.

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

Thanks Mary.

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Diane Rose Halstead's avatar

Wow what a great column you wrote!! I had no idea. I posted it on Facebook and BlueSky.

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