no gay boat for the Navy, because what if it turns all the other boats gay

we’re trapped in the dumbest possible timeline

what in the hallowed name of Intolerance Jesus is this childish, hateful bullshit?

oh for fuck’s sake.

what’s the fear here? that a gay boat is going to turn all the other boats gay? look, that’s a discredited theory about how boat gayness works.

one can’t help but notice that Piss-Drunk Pete ordered this renaming during Pride Month, because fuck you, that’s why. it’s an asshole move, because in-your-face assholishness is the point.

hey, you know the last time a Secretary of Defense personally ordered the Secretary of the Navy to rename a ship? did you guess how about never?

well, congratulations, you win!

Renaming a Navy ship is rare and an order for the Secretary of the Navy to rename a ship has almost no historical precedent.

there’s almost no historical precedent, because Defense Secretaries have better things to do with their time. the Department of Defense is a massive bureaucracy with millions of employees.

getting all up in the Navy’s shit because your precious feefees are hurt by a ship’s name is stupid, senseless, petty, and beneath the dignity of most SecDefs — but most SecDefs aren’t image-obsessed Fox News chat-show hosts who need their own makeup studio, lest their hair not be perfectly-coiffed at all times.

once again, it’s all so embarrassing. the whole world is laughing at our clowncar government.

banishing gayness from the military aligns with Kegstand’s toxic insistence that only straight white males can prevail in battle.

The move is in line with Hegseth’s focus on reestablishing a “warrior culture” across the military, which he has mainly tried to do by eliminating diversity, equity and inclusion programs and content throughout the Defense Department and finding creative ways to revert military bases back to their original, Confederate-linked names.

again with this ‘warrior culture’ drek. the whole fever-swamp fantasy that a military can’t be made up of effective ‘warfighters’ unless every penis is going into a vagina isn’t even supported by the historical record.

The Sacred Band was an elite military unit from Thebes comprising 150 gay couples. At the Battle of Leuctra in 371 BC, these 300 gay warriors led the Theban army against the Spartan army. The Thebans won and shattered the Spartan control of Greece.

the Greeks loved the idea of gay couples fighting side-by-side.

The Thebans believed gay warriors fought better in order to impress and protect their lovers. If a lover fell during a battle, his partner would fight even harder to avenge his death.

Piss-Drunk Pete’s gonna make sure that there are no ships are named for gay icons — because the very existence of ships like the USNS Harvey Milk might send the message to sailors that being gay is okay. the horror.

by the way, anyone who thinks that gay sailors can’t fight has never been in a bar in Manhattan’s meatpacking district at two o’clock in the morning, just saying.

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no word yet on a new name for the USNS No Longer Harvey Milk — but I have a few suggestions.

here’s one: how about naming it for roasted-ballsack aficionado Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson?

the Navy could install a whole bank of those nutwarmers on the deck of the USNS Tucker Carlson, because nothing says toxic masculinity more than the batshit belief that microwaving the family jewels will crank your testosterone levels all the way to eleven.

or how about the USNS Andrew Tate? you’d have a ship that would yell at all the other ships about being insufficiently male — and then sexually assault all the female ships.

what about Joe Rogan, the meathead podcaster? when all the other ships explain their insane conspiracy theories, the USNS Joe Rogan would take a long drag off a joint, and then go huh, I didn’t know that.

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oh look, the story gets worse — because of fucking course it does.

oh, that’s just great. they’re going all-in on bigotry, misogyny, homophobia and intolerance. what a shining example we’re setting for the world.

here are some more ships that Plastered Pete wants renamed. see if you can spot what they all have in common.

CBS News reported that documents mention a “recommended list” for name changes, including the USNS Thurgood Marshall, named for the first Black justice on the Supreme Court, USNS Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the USNS Harriet Tubman, USNS Dolores Huerta, named for the labor and feminist leader, USNS Lucy Stone, named for the suffragist and abolitionist, the USNS Cesar Chavez, named for the American Civil Rights leader and activist, and the USNS Medgar Evers, named for the Civil Rights activist.

that’s right, all those ships are named for people who are either non-male, non-white, or — horror of horrors! — both.

the farcical idea that women can’t be ‘warfighters’ is just a flat-out hallucination. here’s the tale of a Revolutionary War hero who just happened to be a 16-year-old girl.

American Revolutionary War Heroine Sybil Ludington, was born April 5, 1761 in Fredericksburg, New York. Similar to Paul Revere, Sybil became famous for her ride to warn the patriot militia of a British attack near Danbury, Connecticut when she was only 16 years old.

The story is told that on the night of April 26, 1777, Sybil raced on her horse, Star, through the night until the early morning. She rode 40 miles, more than twice the distance Paul Revere traveled. Rallying the 400 men, Sybil endured driving rain and the attack of a highwayman whom she fought off with her father’s musket.

Sybil did the exact same thing Paul Revere did. the only reason we don’t have a poem called The Midnight Ride of Sybil Ludington is that nothing rhymes with Ludington.

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here’s your hero of the day: Florida weatherman John Morales, who is unafraid to tell the unvarnished truth about Donny Convict’s anti-science, anti-government agenda.

the video below begins with a 6-year-old clip of Morales successfully predicting the path of Hurricane Dorian. then, at the 1:10 mark, Morales drops a truth-bomb:

“I am here to tell you that I am not sure I can do that this year — because of the cuts, the gutting, the sledgehammer attack on science in general, and I could talk about that for a long, long, time, and how that is affecting the US leadership in science over many years, and how we’re losing that leadership, and how this is a multi-generational impact on science in this country.”

“but specifically, let’s talk about the federal government cuts to the National Weather Service, and to NOAA. did you know that Central and South Florida National Weather Service offices are currently basically 20 to 40 percent understaffed … this type of staffing shortage is having impacts across the nation because there’s been a nearly 20% reduction in weather balloon releases. and what we’re starting to see is that the quality of the forecasts is becoming degraded.”

“there’s also a chance, because of some of these cuts, that NOAA hurricane hunter aircraft will not be able to fly this year, and with less reconnaissance missions, we may be flying blind — and we may not exactly know how strong a hurricane is before it reaches the coastline.”

“what you need to do is call your representatives and make sure that these cuts are stopped.”

a National Weather Service gutted by the Space Nazi’s merry band of DOGE incels, and a FEMA head who has no fucking clue that hurricane season is a thing.

what could possibly go wrong?

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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