new dead pedo bestie shit has come to light — and Donny is freaking out

oh lordy, there are emails

I think I’m overdosing on schadenfreude right now.

yesterday morning, out of the clear blue, Democrats on the House Oversight Committee dropped an atomic bomb right into our laps, in the form of three emails sent and received by Preznit Fuckwit’s dead pedo bestie, Jeffrey Epstein.

oh, and guess what: Donny’s name is all over that shit.

if it turns out that I’m asleep right now, please don’t wake me — because I’m having one of the best fucking dreams ever.

here’s a quote you’d never want to see the light of day, if you had a dead pedo bestie problem.

“of course he knew about the girls, as he asked Ghislaine to stop.”

I can’t wait to hear all about how Joe Biden’s autopen went back in time and ginned up a bogus email confirming that Donny asked Ghislaine to stop befriending and then trafficking the Motel-a-Lago ‘spa girls’ whom Donny and Eppie used to fight over.

here’s another super fun email, this one from Jeffrey to Ghislaine:

“i want you to realize that that dog that hasn’t barked is trump. [VICTIM] spent hours at my house with him ,, he has never once been mentioned. police chief. etc.”

now, let’s not jump to conclusions here. just because Donny was holed up for hours at Epstein’s house with one of those underage ‘spa girls’ doesn’t mean that anything untoward was going on.

maybe Donny was helping her with her math homework. maybe he was explaining how you can lower the price of a prescription drug by a thousand percent. maybe she was giving him makeup tips on how not to look like a fluorescent tangerine fuckwit. if so, he wasn’t listening.

look, let’s not bicker and argue about who was spending hours alone with who.

let’s just look at the third email, from Michael Wolff to Ep.

“I think you should let him hang himself. If he says he hasn’t been on the plane or to the house,… [y]ou can hang him in a way that potentially generates a positive benefit for you, or, if it really looks like he could win, you could save him, generating a debt.”

perfectly normal stuff. just Donny’s official biographer spitballing with Donny’s dead pedo bestie over the best ways to make Donny incriminate himself.

I suppose I should have mentioned earlier that everyone in this story fucking sucks.

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after the Oversight Dems released those three emails, James Comer Fudd, the rake-steppingest fuckwit in Congress, decided that the best way to deal with the situation was to release 20,000 more Epstein documents he’d been sitting on.

what was the logic at work here? was Comer Fudd trying to overwhelm everyone by ‘flooding the zone with shit’? if so, it he failed miserably. reporters eagerly dove headfirst into that pile of docs, and guess fucking what: the stuff that Comer released was just as incriminating — if not more so — as the three emails released by the Dems.

Nearly a month before President Donald Trump met Russian leader Vladimir Putin in Helsinki in 2018, Jeffrey Epstein attempted to pass a message to Russia’s top diplomat: If you want to understand Trump, talk to me.

“I think you might suggest to putin that lavrov can get insight on talking to me,” Epstein wrote in a June 24, 2018, email to Thorbjorn Jagland, a former prime minister of Norway who was leading the Council of Europe at the time of the exchange. Lavrov was an apparent reference to Sergei Lavrov, Russia’s longtime foreign minister.

what in the hallowed name of Stab You In The Back Jesus was going on here? it’s really weird how a guy who maintained an entire island just for raping teenage girls apparently had the email addresses of diplomats and heads of state. what a coincidence. and he sure was super horny to make sure the Russians had dirt on Donny.

did Epstein even like Donny? it really doesn’t sound like it. when told that ‘Trump is so gross,’ he replied ‘worse in real life and upclose.’

here’s another perfectly normal thing: Epstein asking a reporter if they’d like to have “photos of donald and girls in bikinis in my kitchen?”

this is the shit that Comer Fudd thought would defuse the situation?

I guess that’s what happens when you leave damage control to a rake-stepping fuckwit.

by the way, where is the media on all this? thirty years ago, the press hounded Bill Clinton to resign over a blow job. isn’t what Donny’s caught up in just as bad, if not a whole lot worse? he’s clearly unfit for office. where are all the calls for Donny to step down? come on, you fucking cowards. do your jobs.

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here’s how totally freaked out Donny was by all this new shit coming to light: he started panic-dialing the Republicans who had signed onto Massie’s discharge petition.

“Trump himself called Boebert, regarding her signing onto the Epstein petition and spoke to her yesterday, I am told. Trump playing phone tag with Mace. So far, they are not planning to remove their names from the petition.”

holy shit, Donny had to play phone tag with Nancy Mace! how hilarious is it that when America’s self-appointed bathroom panty inspector’s phone rang and she saw it was Dear Leader, she was all ‘I’m not answering that shit.’

as for five-time international lap-hockey champion Handy Oakley, they actually summoned her to the While House Situation Room — and when she got there, Attorney General Pam Bondi, Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche, FBI Director Kash Patel were waiting for her.

oh my god, it’s like a Murderer’s Row of morons — a Dumbfuck Hall of Fame — with all these incompetent clowns going ‘pretty please, Lauren, we’ll be your best friend.’

what do you suppose all these geniuses offered Boebert to get her to change her vote? a bag of money? an ambassadorship? some important White House role — something meaty she could get her hands around?

so, how did all that cajoling work out for Donny?

“My understanding is that the relentless pressure campaign that has included carrot, stick, good cop, bad cop, has made her even more dug in, suspicious and convinced there’s a conspiracy at play.”

no fucking duh, it is a conspiracy.

imagine being so clownfuckingly inept at doing a cover-up that even a low-wattage numbskull like Handy Oakley can clearly see what’s going on.

now let’s enjoy Adelita ‘Oh Gee, I’m The 218th Vote To Release The Files’ Grijalva finally being sworn in.

so, was Finally-A-Rep Grijalva’s first official act as a member of the House to add her name to that discharge petition? oh fuck yes, it was.

Grijalva signed the petition on the House floor immediately after being sworn in as Democrats in the chamber cheered and two Epstein survivors looked on from the gallery.

after which, Rep. Eric Swalwell made a prediction.

“This is the beginning of the end.”

shoot that shit straight into my veins, Eric.

here’s a super-cool fact about that discharge petition:

Once the petition is locked at 218 votes it cannot be unlocked.

that shit’s set in stone now. it’s too late for Handy — or the panty inspector — to have second thoughts.

as for the actual vote on the bill to release the files,

Later on Wednesday, Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) said that he would bring the Epstein bill for a vote in the House next week — a move that amounts to ripping the band-aid off a vote that neither Johnson nor President Trump wanted.

oh god oh god oh god, if I’m still dreaming, don’t you fucking dare wake me up.

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I’d love to give today’s final word to Preznit Fuckwit, but for some reason he’s suddenly clammed up.

Reporter: “can you respond to these Epstein emails that were released today?”

Donny: [gives no answer]

so let’s give the final word to Rotting Stevie Three-Shirts, because he is so desperate to change the subject right now.

“BANNON: Trump’s not perfect; he’s an imperfect instrument, but one infused by divine providence. Without him, we’d have nothing. So stay focused. This is 12 o’clock high; we’re on a bombing run. Don’t lose sight of the mission.”

cry harder, Rotty Steve.

tick fucking tock.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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