Mitch McConnell is still an evil piece of shit

giving one senator the power to fuck around is just another one of those archaic courtesies that Republicans love to abuse

hey, remember when Esteemed Senator Turtlefuck from Kentucky started glitching up a couple of months ago and we all felt badly for him and wished him the best? well, guess what: Glitchy Mitch is back to being ten pounds of shit stuffed into a five pound sack.

here’s the issue: failed football coach Tommy Tuberville is still up to his fuckery. T-Tubes is in the midst of a year-long Big Mad over a DOD policy that gives service members time off and pays for travel necessary to receive abortions — in protest, he is singlehandedly blocking all military promotions.

(at least, that’s what he says is the reason. there is an alternate theory that Tommy Tub-o-shit is deliberately keeping these military slots vacant so that Little Donny Fuckface can fill them with lackeys as part of the Project 2025 plan to end democracy. this would not surprise me at all if it were true.)

as a result, hundreds of Pentagon offices remain empty, and overworked brass are forced to do two or three jobs at once. it’s literally destroying their health.

now I hear you asking: why would our Constitution allow this? why would the framers give one dipshit senator with a chip on his shoulder the power to fuck our nation’s military readiness all to hell?

spoiler alert: the framers didn’t. there’s nothing in the Constitution that allows this.

giving one senator the power to fuck around is just another one of those archaic courtesies that Republicans love to abuse.

a hundredwhatever years ago, some long-forgotten senator came up with some hypothetical situation and said wouldn’t it be nice if we had a rule that a senator could block a military promotion, if there were a good reason? like what if there were some general who sucks all ass or something? and all the other senators nodded and said yeah, I guess so, and boom — we have a gentlemen’s agreement that nobody thought to abuse — until now.

just like the filibuster — a nice idea that in the wrong hands has become a complete obstructionist horrorshow.

now, every Senator is fucking pissed off at Tuberville. both Democrats and Republicans see the damage that is being done to our military, and they want him to cut the shit, pronto.

but Tubes won’t budge.

and so everybody in the Senate is gung-ho to rescind the rule regarding promotions, and to clear the backlog.

oh wait, did I say everybody?

no, actually there’s one senator who loves him some obstructionism and wants to keep the rule in place. can you guess who it is?

that’s right, it’s Mitch Fucking McConnell.

Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (Ky.) says he’s not ready to vote for a Democratic resolution to confirm more than 350 stalled military promotions at once to circumvent holds placed by Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala.). 

and Mitch is using his influence as Minority Leader to make other Republicans fall in line. yesterday, the Senate Rules Committee approved the resolution. no Republican voted in favor of it.

The panel voted 9-7 to approve a resolution that would allow the Senate to confirm groups of the military nominees at once for the remainder of the congressional term. The Senate has traditionally confirmed large batches of military officers together, but that process can be upended by just one senator who objects.

The resolution will now head to the Senate floor for a vote, where Democrats will need at least nine Republican votes for passage. While Republicans on the rules panel opposed the measure, arguing that the move could erode the powers of the minority in the Senate, some have signaled they might change their minds if Tuberville does not drop the holds before then.

Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell, who criticized Tuberville’s holds before the committee vote, said he would oppose the Democratic resolution “at this particular moment.”

“at this particular moment.”

wonderful.

hey Mitch — here’s a fun idea for you: how about you do something for your country, for a change?

resign — you can tell everyone it’s for health reasons — and fuck off back to your terrarium in Kentucky.

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meanwhile, over in the House, the shit-flingers in the Freedom Caucus were having their own Big Mad over Holy Mike’s deal preventing a government shutdown — and so in retaliation yesterday, they blocked a couple of procedural votes.

Johnson rewarded them by banging his big gavel and sending the entire House home for a ten-day Thanksgiving holiday — at which point Republican Rep. Chip Roy fucking exploded, gifting the Democrats a pre-wrapped campaign ad.

“one thing! I want my Republican colleagues to give me one thing — one! — that I can go campaign on and say we did. one! anybody sitting in the complex, if you want to come down to the floor and explain to me one material, meaningful, significant thing the Republican majority has done.”

we couldn’t have said this better ourselves.

Democrats better be amplifying this shit every day from now until forever.