Mexico has had it up to here with this ‘Gulf of America’ bullshit

and Marco Rubio wants Germany to reopen their Nazi Bar

for over four centuries, the Gulf of Mexico has been sitting there, minding its own business, doing its watery thing. ‘what do you need, bro? access to New Orleans? float on by.’

everybody was happy, and nobody thought twice about it.

but that was before Mad King Donny rose to power, stamped his tiny little porcelain doll feet, and threw a technicolor shit-fit because some other country’s name was all over his water.

it’s all so clownfuckingly childish — and yet, here we are.

after Donny issued his kingly decree that all water is mine now, Google happily rolled over and capitulated to Dear Leader. from that day forth, the Google Maps app would dutifully label that watery mass to our south as the Gulf of America — and that was a bridge too far for Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum.

get your fucking name, she declared, off of our water.

Mexico will take Google to court if maps shown to US-based users continue to label the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America across the entire body of water, President Claudia Sheinbaum said Monday, arguing that US President Donald Trump’s order to rename it only applies to the part of the continental shelf under US control.

Sheinbaum said the renaming is “incorrect,” adding that Trump’s decree “only changed the name within his own continental shelf, which extends 22 nautical miles from the US coast—not the entire Gulf.”

wait, is that true, that bit about the name change only applying to the US coast? let’s look at the text of King Donny’s royal proclamation.

On January 20, 2025, I signed Executive Order 14172 (“Restoring Names That Honor American Greatness”). Among other actions, that Executive Order required the Secretary of the Interior, acting pursuant to 43 U.S.C. 364 through 364f, to “take all appropriate actions to rename as the ‘Gulf of America’ the U.S. Continental Shelf area bounded on the northeast, north, and northwest by the State of Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida and extending to the seaward boundary with Mexico and Cuba in the area formerly named as the Gulf of Mexico.”

leave it to Donny’s ace team of parking garage lawyers — most of whom now have cush jobs in the Department of Justice — to fuck up a simple definition of a body of water.

all I know is that it’s nice to see someone standing up to Donny and his overwhelming need to inflict his pathetic self on everything.

Donny’s so fragile and insecure that he needs the constant affirmation that apparently comes from seeing his stupid name slapped onto every product in sight, no matter how ridiculous.

look at me, look at me, look at me. never forget that I exist.

ugh. shut the fuck up, Donny.

now he wants to impose that neediness on an entire country, and slap America’s name all over everything in sight.

look at us, look at us, look at us. never forget that we exist.

so now, Mexico is mad at us. Mexico — a country we haven’t had a serious beef with since 1848. and not just Mexico. for those keeping score at home, Canada is also mad at us. as is Greenland, Denmark, Panama and Ukraine — all in the four weeks since Donny accepted his crown and scepter. heck of a job, Donny!

and now we can add Germany to the list.

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the entire world was appalled when Couchfuck McGee stood up in Munich and lectured Germany on how their current crop of Nazis — the AfD — are just a bunch of misunderstood funsters who should be welcomed with open arms.

did Secretary of State Marco Rubio pull Couchfuck aside and read him the riot act? no, he did not. Liddle Marco tousled the impish rapscallion’s hair and said good boy! — and then he went on Face the Nation to pour more gasoline all over the fucking fire.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Sunday defended Vice President JD Vance’s decision to meet with the Alternative for Germany (AfD) party, dismissing criticism that its nationalist rhetoric echoes Nazi ideology. Vance, who spoke at the annual Munich Security Conference on Friday sparked backlash for meeting with AfD leader Alice Weidel after scolding European leaders for boycotting the party.

In an interview with CBS’ Face the Nation, Rubio dismissed comparisons between the AfD and the Nazi regime. “There was no free speech in Nazi Germany,” he said. “There was also no opposition in Nazi Germany, they were a sole and only party that governed that country. So that’s not an accurate reflection of history.”

the shit sandwich that Marco’s trying shove into everyone’s face is the notion that these Nazis aren’t like those Nazis — but he left an important word off the end of that assumption: yet.

these Nazis aren’t like those Nazis … yet.

let’s have look at what I like to call The Parable of the Nazi Bar, as first told in a twitter thread by Michael B. Tager.

I was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work beer. One of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. So the bartender and I were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says, “no. get out.”

And the dude next to me says, “hey i’m not doing anything, i’m a paying customer.” and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, “out. now.” and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. And he was dressed in a punk uniform, I noticed

Anyway, I asked what that was about and the bartender was like, “you didn't see his vest but it was all nazi shit. Iron crosses and stuff. You get to recognize them.” And i was like, oh ok and he continues.

“you have to nip it in the bud immediately. These guys come in and it's always a nice, polite one. And you serve them because you don't want to cause a scene. And then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. And that dude is cool too.”

“And then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a Nazi bar now. And it's too late because they're entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. So you have to shut them down.”

ninety years ago, Germany became the original Nazi Bar. it took an entire world war to restore order to the joint. does Germany want to go through that again? no, they fucking well do not — and so they’re nipping that shit in the bud. can you blame them?

Germany’s leaders, as you might well imagine, are livid that two condescending American assholes are trying to tell them how to run their country.

Chancellor Olaf Scholz of Germany on Saturday accused Vice President JD Vance of unacceptably interfering in his country’s imminent elections on behalf of a party that has played down the atrocities committed by the Nazis 80 years ago.

Mr. Scholz accused Mr. Vance of effectively violating a commitment to never again allow Germany to be led by fascists who could repeat the horrors of the Holocaust.

“A commitment to ‘never again’ is not reconcilable with support for the AfD,” Mr. Scholz said at the conference on Saturday morning, in an address opening the gathering’s second day.

never again. Germany’s Nazi Bar got shut down in 1945 — and they’re going to keep it that way.

America’s Nazi Bar, unfortunately, is open for business.

what’ll ya have?

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.