Maggie Haberman and The New York Times fucking suck

scenes from a trial, Day 17

there’s always some New York Times reporter all too willing to chuck journalistic integrity right out the window and collude with the world’s worst monsters.

remember Judith Miller? during the run-up to the Iraq war, Bush Administration flunkies would feed pro-war disinformation to Miller. she would then dutifully type up whatever they told her — and there on the Times front page would be some bullshit story about aluminum tubes, or whatever the Bushites were pushing on any given day. warmongers like Condi Rice and Donny Rumsfeld would then go running onto Fox News and cite the very disinfo they’d given Miller as proof that Saddam Hussein was a menace who needed to be dealt with, stat.

Judy Miller is long gone, disgraced — Fox News hired her for a while — but her ‘fuck the truth, I have access’ spirit lives on in Maggie Haberman.

it’s been painfully obvious for a long time that Maggs has been in the tank for Donald Trump — but yesterday, during the Big Trump Falsified Document Campaign Fuckery Trial, we got concrete proof.

check out this bullshit.

PEOPLE’S EXHIBIT 260 - TEXTS BETWEEN COHEN AND MAGGIE HABERMAN OF NYT (2/13/18)

HOFFINGER: Who is Maggie Haberman?
COHEN: She is a reporter for the New York Times.

FROM MC TO MH: Big boss just approved me responding to complaint and statement. Please start writing and I will call you soon

holy shit. there it is, in black and white — when Team Trump needed someone to put a happy face on whatever evil shit they were up to, they went running to Maggie Haberman.

look at what is going on here: a mob boss tells his fixer to get in touch with their favorite mouthpiece in the press, to tell her to “start writing.” it all sounds like something from a lurid crime movie from the 1940s, but it’s not. this was actually happening in the White House — and in the Times’ newsroom — in 2018.

what the fuck were you doing, Maggie? it wasn’t journalism, that’s for sure. it was taking dictation from a skeezy criminal and helping him cover up his shitty behavior.

and for this they gave you a Pulitzer Prize?

that’s right, in 2018 — the same year she was helping Dear Leader bury embarrassing stories — Maggs won a Pulitzer for her “reporting on the Trump administration.” I shit you not.

there are some days when the world just make no fucking sense.

this is the same Maggie Haberman who had damning information about Trump — firsthand knowledge that Donny had no intention of leaving office after he lost in 2020 — but decided to save it for the book she was writing.

“I’m just not going to leave,” Trump told an aide, according to Haberman’s upcoming book, Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America, excerpted by CNN, where she is also an analyst.

this is also the same Maggie Haberman who authored or contributed to 265 articles about Hillary Clinton’s emails.

I hope Haberman’s Pulitzer Prize throws up whenever Maggs walks into the room.

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Haberman’s fuckery isn’t the only bit of journalistic malpractice that the Times has been up to lately. a couple of days ago they released polling showing that Biden was trailing Trump in 5 out of 6 key battleground states. naturally, this sparked a whole new round of hand-wringing — but as with so much Times polling, the underlying data is misleading and downright skewed to be pro-Trump.

Jay Kuo has the receipts.

Let me say this plainly: The Times poll is intentionally Trump- and conservative-leaning, both in how it was structured and how it was promoted. There may be fine reasons for this, but they are not discussed anywhere. And its data contains some eyebrow raising anomalies that it either glosses over or ignores completely. 

Simon Rosenberg concurs.

I realize the NYT headline of their story is Trump leads in 5 states, but that’s not what the data in these polls say. He leads in 3 — AZ, GA, NV — and 3 are essentially tied. As I wrote on Saturday, if you spend your time with polls with registered voters you see an electorate more favorable to Trump. If you spend your time with likely voters you see one more favorable to Biden. This is becoming a very important part of our emerging understanding of the 2024 election, and a dynamic that is in my view very ominous for Trump. That the NYT Times centered their headline and graphics around the results with registered voters was an editorial choice.

as Rosenberg points out, the Times is making a deliberate editorial choice to misinform its readers.

why? what do Maggie Haberman and the New York Times imagine they’re going to get from a second Trump presidency?

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as promised, Holy Mike Johnson put in an appearance at Trump’s trial yesterday — and he brought along some of his pals. Holy Mike, Cory Mills, Byron Donalds, Doug Burgum and Vivek Ramaswamy all took turns lying into a microphone.

but check out this weird-ass shit:

each and every one of them is tarted up in Dear Leader cosplay. what the fuck kind of weird cultish adulation is this? and why didn’t they go the final step and hot-glue a desiccated beaver pelt to their foreheads and trowel on some fluorescent orange spackle?

as to their coordinated attacks on witnesses, jurors, and the judge’s daughter, the question must be raised: is Donny dictating what they say? it’s a legit thing to ask, based on this stunning bit of info from Andrew Rice on MSNBC:

“in court yesterday, actually, I was sitting close enough that I could look over Trump’s shoulder and see what he was reading. at one point, he was actually reading the quotes that these individuals were— and going through and making notations with a pen, on the paper, while testimony was going on. while Michael Cohen was testifying against him, he was actually going through and editing and annotating the quotes.”

if this is true, it’s time to cart Trump off to jail — because “directing others to make public statements” is a violation of the gag order.

hello, Judge Merchan? are you listening to this shit?

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during the trial, we’ve had the pleasure of seeing “Von ShitzInPantz” and “Orange Turd” entered into the official court record.

thanks to yesterday’s cross-examination of Michael Cohen, the official record has a bunch of new beauties.

“Here’s how the cross-exam of Michael Cohen began:
BLANCHE:  Mr. Cohen, my name is Todd Blanche and you and I have never met.
BLANCHE: You went on TikTok and called me a ‘crying little shit’
COHEN: ‘that sounds like something I would say’
OBJECTION: SUSTAINED”

“BLANCHE: ‘You referred to Trump as a “Dictator Douche Bag”?’
COHEN: ‘Sounds like something I said’
BLANCHE: ‘You said he should go back to “Where he belongs, in a fucking cage, like a fucking animal.” You recall saying that?’
COHEN: I recall saying that.”

“BLANCHE: You referred to President Trump as a boorish cartoon misogynist?
COHEN: ‘Sounds like something I would say’
BLANCHE: ‘you referred to President Trump as a Cheeto-dusted cartoon villain?’
COHEN: sounds like something i would say”

is there any way that I could be a last-minute witness in this trial? because how awesome would this be:

BLANCHE:  Mr. Tiedrich, my name is Todd Blanche and you and I have never met.
BLANCHE: you went on substack and called Donald Trump ‘Little Donny Fuckface’
TIEDRICH: ‘that sounds like something I would say’
BLANCHE: you also called him ‘Lord Buttstench’
TIEDRICH: ‘I can smell him from here’

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and finally, it wouldn’t be a day in court if we didn’t get Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants waving his emotional support papers and blithering incoherently in his little courthouse playpen.

“there was no crime. Judge Jeanine Pirro. uh. she talks here, this is — well, she’s very excited. and yet, he’s a fool. he’s not an experienced judge. so, I’ll … I’ll make that one a little short. I don’t want to insult anybody. Greg Jarrett, brilliant guy.”

Donny Demento is now so far gone that his handlers have to give him printed remarks to read from, so that he doesn’t shit the bed and start free-associating about the “late, great Hannibal Lecter” on live TV.